Baptism with Older Children?

[budafam]

My kids are (soon to be) 5 and 3. I have always wanted to get them baptized but we never have. We don't go to church at all but I am baptized and it was very important to my mom to get the kids baptized. She passed away almost 2 years ago and I really want to do it but not sure what they do for older kids. I know the procedure for babies but I'm sure it's different for an older child. My son is terrified of water so I'm hoping they don't dunk his head or it will be a screamfest in church. Anyone ever do this? I'm just lost when it comes to this kinda thing.

 

[JaneBanks]

I would just go to your church and ask them how it's done.

If it's a Catholic church, they won't be doing any dunking!

 

[Poohforyou]

I've seen children and adults be baptised in our church (Episcopal) and there isn't any pouring of water on their heads. The priest does dip his thumb in the holy water and make the sign of the cross on the forehead of the person (child or adults). Only babies are held over the baptismal font and have holy water poured on their head.

 

[Robinrs]

I was baptised at 31 and my son was baptised at 7. We were in a big pool and we were SOAKED! Loved it!

My church does not baptise babies. You have to go thru a class before being baptised. The babies are presented, but not baptised.

 

[Buckalew11]

I was sprinkled as a baby (Methodist) and immersed as a 10yo (Baptist). At 10, I was petrified of water. I remember making the preacher promise he wouldn't keep me under the water long. I was so scared yet remember that fear leaving me during the baptism.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

In our faith, we can choose pouring or full immersion. But when only one is available it is always just the pouring. It is poured over the head three times with the older child just leaning over the baptismal font. Full immersion would not be advised for a child terrified of the water. While it gets a few giggles from the worshipers when a child seems to be mildly resisting, you certainly don't want the child to remember the experience as something that was terrifying.

I am not sure of other faiths--but that is what our faith does.

And as to JaneABanks comment--many parishes offer that. I was baptized by "dunking" when I was in college. And I must correct myself--as an adult, they really didn't give anyone of us a choice--it was full immersion for all of us. but they did not baptize children at that time. But in my other parish, it was one or the other--and children and adults were baptized together. Present parish is not equipped for "dunking", so everyone gets pouring. Unless they have something hiding somewhere. But I haven't seen it.

OP: To know for certain, ask your church.

 

[NYEmomma]

My family is Baptist though we only attended church in short stints... probably 2 years of my life in total.

Just so happened that one of these short stints was when I was 12, which I guess is around the average age that people tend to get baptized. At least at that church.

So I went to a couple of the classes, the minister came to our house one evening to talk to me, then I was baptized along with a couple other people at the end of the service on Sunday.

There was a full-sized baptismal pool at the church (sounds extravagant but it was a VERY small church). You wore white gowns and walked down into the pool just like you would a normal swimming pool. The minister was already in there, waiting. He said a couple of things, then cupped the back of your head with one hand, placed his other hand on your face, and dunked you backwards under the water. It was very, very short. The water was nice & warm I don't recall being afraid. Then again, my family also had yearly memberships to the pool & I was very comfortable around water.

As far as church membership goes, my family wasn't a member of the church for that long. Probably 6 months? We didn't attend for much longer after the baptism.

Both my brother & I are agnostic/atheist now & my parents haven't attended any church service in at least 10 years. So I'm not an expert on all things church-related... so take what I say with a grain of salt!

 

[lpereira]

You should join a church and find out what their procedure is as it varies from denomination to denomination. But if you aren't going to go to church I'd skip it as its a promise to either raise your children as christians or become a christian (if you are adult).
Mind you a church doesn't need to be a building per se. The majority of the worlds christians worship in each others homes or borrowed meeting spaces.

 

[FredinFL]

Go Presbyterian. I had both my girls baptized by a lovely minister. Your God Parents need to say they will try and guide your children in a christian manner, but other than that, really no constrictions.

I believe that baptism is a way to introduce your child to God, it is THEIR decision what that means to them.

 

[Aisling]

I would just go to your church and ask them how it's done.

If it's a Catholic church, they won't be doing any dunking!

We're Catholic converts and my son was 6 when he was baptized by pouring a sprinkle of water over his head while he leaned over the font. We just went to the priest and he was delighted that we wanted to baptize our son. Jesse had to have a few religious instruction sessions since he was old enough to understand what was happening and the priest wanted him to know what it meant, in child's terms.

If it's important, absolutely do it.

 

[sunnyday123]

We're methodist, and DD was done at 6 months....the oldest baby there, but she looked like a 3 month old in size. I think they just did a sprinkle on the head, or he put his fingers in the water and then touched her head, I really don't remember.

I do know that I had a problem with picking out Godparents, and our Pastor told us we didn't need them, as parents it was our responsibility to introduce her to church, but not to force her to go to church-if she didn't want to go, not to make her go. I loved him.

 

[budafam]

Wonderful responses. Thank you everyone.

 

[Aisling]

I was baptised at 31 and my son was baptised at 7. We were in a big pool and we were SOAKED! Loved it!

My church does not baptise babies. You have to go thru a class before being baptised. The babies are presented, but not baptised.

This is how it was done in my old church, before I converted to Catholicism, so I was dunked backwards by the minister. There was a 4 ft pool under the altar area for baptisms. I was 25 when I was baptized and it was a beautiful experience.

(Just a side note, I've always known I needed to be Catholic as per my heart, and I was blessed to find a Roman Catholic church that has revival meetings every Friday night and a Charismatic Mass once a month, so it's wonderful for me to have the fullness of the spiritual experience, meaning the Holy Catholic Sacraments plus the whooping and hollering and hand-clapping and open hand praising that I got from my Pentecostal church. God knew my heart and led me where I needed to go, praise Him.) I love going to Church.

Both my sons stopped going to Mass when they received the sacrament of Confirmation, but now the one getting married has a new interest in our faith and our church and has started attending Mass regularly with his Catholic fiancee'. They feel they want their religion to be a part of their married life, and of course it's making both mothers very happy.

 

[scrapquitler]

My kids are (soon to be) 5 and 3. I have always wanted to get them baptized but we never have. We don't go to church at all but I am baptized and it was very important to my mom to get the kids baptized. She passed away almost 2 years ago and I really want to do it but not sure what they do for older kids. I know the procedure for babies but I'm sure it's different for an older child. My son is terrified of water so I'm hoping they don't dunk his head or it will be a screamfest in church. Anyone ever do this? I'm just lost when it comes to this kinda thing.

Most churches where I've been to baptisms, don't dunk you, they just sprinkle a bit of water on the forehead, but I'm sure that's dependent on the religious denomination. I think most of those I've been to have been either Roman Catholic, Lutheran, Episcopalian or Congregationalist.

I think if this is something you want to do, you need to contact the church where you want it done to find out their procedures and requirements. I think a minister might not be thrilled aobut you doing this if you don't intend to start going to church and teaching your children the churches beliefs. Doing it because your Mom wanted it seems like it might be the wrong reason, but that's just the way I see it. Definitely it's something you'll need to discuss with the minister.

 

[golfgal]

I would just go to your church and ask them how it's done.

If it's a Catholic church, they won't be doing any dunking!

Not always true--our old church had this option (Catholic Church).

A priest/minister should be sensitive to your son's fears and can baptize with just a sprinkling of water. In most of the churches we have attended, infants have some water poured over their heads while being held by a parent or Godparent. It is a small amount, maybe a drinking glass full or so.

In some churches, older kids may be asked to take some classes but not always.

 

[dngnb8]

My kids are (soon to be) 5 and 3. I have always wanted to get them baptized but we never have. We don't go to church at all but I am baptized and it was very important to my mom to get the kids baptized. She passed away almost 2 years ago and I really want to do it but not sure what they do for older kids. I know the procedure for babies but I'm sure it's different for an older child. My son is terrified of water so I'm hoping they don't dunk his head or it will be a screamfest in church. Anyone ever do this? I'm just lost when it comes to this kinda thing.

It sounds to me like you dont know what Baptism truly is. This isnt a flame, but based on your post, I think you have a different interpretation of what it really means.

I suggest you consult a pastor.

 

[ajk912]

It sounds to me like you dont know what Baptism truly is. This isnt a flame, but based on your post, I think you have a different interpretation of what it really means.

I suggest you consult a pastor.

I agree. I would first and foremost find a church you feel comfortable with and forge a relationship with that church. You don't have to go every week or even be a member (for some), but you can't just call up a church and say, hey, I want my kid baptised, because that's not the way it's done. We've been going to our church for 3 years now, and my son was just baptised this year at age 11. I think it's great you are thinking about this, but I'd have baptism be in the back of your mind with the priority being to find a church you want to call YOUR church.

 

[budafam]

Thanks. I do know what it is and why it's done. I want it done for those reasons. I am baptized but my husband is not. Of course he's not fully on board but he really doesn't mind that I feel this is important. We just had so much happen recently that it hasn't exactly been a top priority (as it should have been). My mom's death took a toll on everyone and kinda put the baptism on the back burner. Sorry for my poor choice of words... I really should know to be more careful on here.

 

[dngnb8]

I agree. I would first and foremost find a church you feel comfortable with and forge a relationship with that church. You don't have to go every week or even be a member (for some), but you can't just call up a church and say, hey, I want my kid baptised, because that's not the way it's done. We've been going to our church for 3 years now, and my son was just baptised this year at age 11. I think it's great you are thinking about this, but I'd have baptism be in the back of your mind with the priority being to find a church you want to call YOUR church.

I will share with you my story.

I was Baptized Catholic. I went to catacism *sp* when I was 12. I asked my dad why I had to do this, and this was his response

"I want you to have a religion"

To my dad, it was like getting a flu shot. I was inoculated against Satan.

Today, based on my own faith, I realize that none of what my dad had done, would have done what he wanted.

Children are saved. Essentially, we as parents cant inoculate our kids against Satan. Baptism is a personal choice, and one that must be made by each individual. It is a profession of faith.

This is my interpretation. I harken back to the Crucifixion. When Christ was dying on the Cross, he was with 2 others on each side of Him. One mocked Christ, saying something like, "If Youre who you say you are, save us from death"

The other, defended Christ. He said something like "He has done nothing to deserve this fate. He is innocent, we deserve our punishment"

He then asked Christ for forgiveness, and Christ responded

"On this day we shall be in Heaven."

What is important about this exchange is the thief wasnt Baptized. He wasnt dunked, dribbled or bathed. Baptism (the actual dunking) is a visual public profession. When you accept Christ as your Savior, it is that moment your are spiritually baptized.

So I would ask you, why are you really doing this? Make sure it is for the right reasons. My Grandmother was very angry because I didnt dip the kids. She believe that if they died, they wouldnt go to Heaven. Needless to say, we didnt agree on this topic.

 

[okeydokey]

At my church, there is a class you take for baptism that meets three times. At 3 and 5 you could still go this way. We have had many children this age get baptized. But, you have to register at the church and attend. They will not baptize your child just because you want them too. Baptism means you want the church community to welcome your children as members.

Once the child hits 7 years old, the child has to go through classes themselves.