Ball caps & cell phones

[ols386]

Wow, really?????

I can't believe that no one else picked up on that?

I noticed it when she posted earlier in the thread.

Thought about saying something at the time, but decided that it was such a huge generalization and judgmental statement, that I'd ignore it....until now,

 

[badblackpug]

Okay, I don't know where everyone is eating, and maybe it's regional, but I don't see men and boys in restaurants (any restaurants) wearing hats at the table. The only place I see people wearing hats and eating is at the baseball stadium.

The way I was raised it's just not done. Hats are removed indoors. (and just in case the PP has an idea I am not old, I'm in my 30s)

As for cell phones, I really don't care what others do at other tables, that is a problem for their dining companions, but if my dining companion has their phone out and is more interested in their phone than the company at the table, I would call that insulting. My 14 year old daughter knows to put it away at the table, and she is a 14 year old girl, her cell phone is practically an appendage. My husband is a doctor. He needs to answer his phone when he is on call. He still doesn't plop it down on the table. Being there for the baby sitter or whatever, your phone takes no longer to answer from your pocket or purse than it does the table. I think it is just a sign of respect that you intend to give you full attention to your companion/s.

 

[sam_gordon]

Okay, I don't know where everyone is eating, and maybe it's regional, but I don't see men and boys in restaurants (any restaurants) wearing hats at the table. The only place I see people wearing hats and eating is at the baseball stadium.

The way I was raised it's just not done. Hats are removed indoors. (and just in case the PP has an idea I am not old, I'm in my 30s)

As for cell phones, I really don't care what others do at other tables, that is a problem for their dining companions, but if my dining companion has their phone out and is more interested in their phone than the company at the table, I would call that insulting. My 14 year old daughter knows to put it away at the table, and she is a 14 year old girl, her cell phone is practically an appendage. My husband is a doctor. He needs to answer his phone when he is on call. He still doesn't plop it down on the table. Being there for the baby sitter or whatever, your phone takes no longer to answer from your pocket or purse than it does the table. I think it is just a sign of respect that you intend to give you full attention to your companion/s.

Depending on the noise level and the ringtone, you may not hear the phone ringing in a purse.

I would also agree if my dining companion is more interested in their phone than me, that's insulting. But simply putting the phone on the table doesn't tell me that.

 

[ols386]

Okay, I don't know where everyone is eating, and maybe it's regional, but I don't see men and boys in restaurants (any restaurants) wearing hats at the table. The only place I see people wearing hats and eating is at the baseball stadium.

The way I was raised it's just not done. Hats are removed indoors. (and just in case the PP has an idea I am not old, I'm in my 30s)

As for cell phones, I really don't care what others do at other tables, that is a problem for their dining companions, but if my dining companion has their phone out and is more interested in their phone than the company at the table, I would call that insulting. My 14 year old daughter knows to put it away at the table, and she is a 14 year old girl, her cell phone is practically an appendage. My husband is a doctor. He needs to answer his phone when he is on call. He still doesn't plop it down on the table. Being there for the baby sitter or whatever, your phone takes no longer to answer from your pocket or purse than it does the table. I think it is just a sign of respect that you intend to give you full attention to your companion/s.

Maybe it is a regional thing with the hats.

In my area, I don't think anything about seeing someone in an Applebee's enviornment, wearing a baseball cap.

Now if it's a restaurant that's more along the lines of a fine dining establishment, then I would think something about it. I very rarely dine at a restaurant like that, so I'm assuming baseball caps would not be worn.

 

[brerrabbit]

So you can't engage in conversation if your phone is on the table? I understand your point. I just disagree with it.
As mentioned, you don't know anything about this family. They may have talked themselves out already.3

Please indicate where in my original post I said anything at all about whether a phone should be on the table when you eat. What I said was they were all actively using, as in checking e-mails, text messages, or in the case of the children playing their games. I did say "put them away" which I guess I did not clarify but that could be on the table, just on silent, not in your hand, and not actively looking at e-mails or texts.

I just wonder what the ad is for. 3

If I recall it's an ad for a car.

That works for YOUR situation, not everybody's. When I'm on call, the issues could be anything from "my computer won't turn on" to something costing the company THOUSANDS of dollars. I don't think my boss would agree that *I* could simply check every couple of hours.3

I work in the Energy industry. Issues don't cost us thousands of dollars, they cost millions of dollars. I check things frequintly enough.

I'm guessing there were also parents who were out when their kids had accidents and they found out hours later. Those hours could have made a difference. Is that an extreme example? Sure. I'm a parent with a cell phone. I don't want to know what's happening "every minute of every day", but I'll want to know if my kids are stranded somewhere.3

As do I although my kids are now 27 and 22 when they were younger I had no benifit of cell phones for many years when they were young, I survived.

I'll agree I don't want/need to hear someone's conversation, but I couldn't care less if I hear their ringtone. Really? THAT bothers you?3

Yes, I'm to sexy for my shirt at full volume while I am eating in a nice resturant is something that bothers me. Yes any ringing during church bothers me, yes sitting in a movie theatre paying to watch a movie where patrons have received several messages that say please put your phone on silent bothers me.

So you're doing the "right" thing because it's the way you were taught, but other people doing what THEY were taught are doing the "wrong" thing?

Hats are whatever you want to do, I as many others were taught differently, thats my belief as you very obviously have your own.

 

[NikitaZee]

Wow, really?????

I can't believe that no one else picked up on that?

Ha, I posted on this thread a few days ago and forgot about it. Clicking around today I saw that silly comment - which was in response to my post about my husband wearing his ball cap at the restaurant recently. All I can say is - what a load of crap! To gauge my husband's level of respect for me by his wearing a hat at Applebee's in my presence, really just makes me laugh!
I admit the cell phone thing bothers me - but only at my table. Doesn't bother me at all what folks do at their own tables - unless it's really loud and disruptive.

 

[brerrabbit]

Hmm, so which one was it?

My comments are in red, above.

So I can take you and your family out of my sample size for people who do rude things concerning cell phone usage and wearing hats indoors. I will do so and after careful consideration my assesment still stands. Yes people who do those things are showing a lack of respect for others.

You work with children and therefore your assesment of the current generation trumps anyone elses knowledge of them I suppose. Well great I work with kids too, teach Sunday school to 8th graders, am a merit badge counsiler for Boy Scouts, am a commitee chair for Project graduation for ten years, and am still on the board of our local Dad's Club where we sponsor Baseball, Softball, and Football so I encounter a lot of kids too. Problem is that you like myself encounter the good ones that go the extra mile to participate in all those activities. Unfortunately I also work with so less than stellar kids in a couple of programs and they fit the mold quite well. I speak in a more general population and not specifically to the "good" ones.

Finally your husband takes his hat off, you have taught your children to do the same, thats wonderful. But you go on to say you do not attribute nefarious intentions to those who do not. That's great too. I personally do attribute nefarious intentions to those who wear their hats everywhere, gansta style low on the eyes, with sideways bills and talk like a sailor on shore leave. We can agree to disagree on this one. Maybe I live in a less idealic, more realistic world than you do.

 

[furb & dez]

All I can say is - what a load of crap! To gauge my husband's level of respect for me by his wearing a hat at Applebee's in my presence, really just makes me laugh!

I would agree. If they're at an Applebee's it's already established that they're probably trash. No need to speculate further...

 

[sam_gordon]

Please indicate where in my original post I said anything at all about whether a phone should be on the table when you eat. What I said was they were all actively using, as in checking e-mails, text messages, or in the case of the children playing their games. I did say "put them away" which I guess I did not clarify but that could be on the table, just on silent, not in your hand, and not actively looking at e-mails or texts.

You're right. I read too much into your post. You said "put them away" which I read as "out of sight". I apologize.

I work in the Energy industry. Issues don't cost us thousands of dollars, they cost millions of dollars. I check things frequintly enough.

Your boss is ok with you checking every couple hours? THAT'S my point. Many people are assigned by work to be in quick contact. They don't have a choice.

As do I although my kids are now 27 and 22 when they were younger I had no benifit of cell phones for many years when they were young, I survived.

When I was a kid/teen, there weren't seatbelts much less car seats. I survived. I'm not saying having a cell phone is a safety feature. It's a tool. I bring this up to say "things change". When we were growing up, payphones were available. Not so much now. Like I said, I'd rather my kids not be stranded. That will become extremely important when my DD starts dating. I want to make sure she can get in touch with me or DW for ANY reason.

Yes, I'm to sexy for my shirt at full volume while I am eating in a nice resturant is something that bothers me. Yes any ringing during church bothers me, yes sitting in a movie theatre paying to watch a movie where patrons have received several messages that say please put your phone on silent bothers me.

"Nice" restaurant? I thought we were talking about Applebee's, Outback, etc. I agree with the ringing during church & movies. Restaurants?... eh. There's usually enough noise in there I barely notice my own phone ringing much less someone elses.

Hats are whatever you want to do, I as many others were taught differently, thats my belief as you very obviously have your own.

I think I mentioned I try to take my hat off at a table. It's funny, I noticed a teen wearing a ballcap (backwards) at church yesterday and wanted to slap it off his head. Then again, I don't think people should wear jeans and worn t-shirts to church. Then I remember, they're not there to impress me, so my opinions really don't matter.

 

[sam_gordon]

double post

 

[Ceila]

So I can take you and your family out of my sample size for people who do rude things concerning cell phone usage and wearing hats indoors. I will do so and after careful consideration my assesment still stands. Yes people who do those things are showing a lack of respect for others.

You work with children and therefore your assesment of the current generation trumps anyone elses knowledge of them I suppose. I never said that. Why do you insist on putting words in my mouth? Well great I work with kids too, teach Sunday school to 8th graders, am a merit badge counsiler for Boy Scouts, am a commitee chair for Project graduation for ten years, and am still on the board of our local Dad's Club where we sponsor Baseball, Softball, and Football so I encounter a lot of kids too. Problem is that you like myself encounter the good ones that go the extra mile to participate in all those activities. Unfortunately I also work with so less than stellar kids in a couple of programs and they fit the mold quite well. I speak in a more general population and not specifically to the "good" ones.

Actually, I teach in a public school (have worked in several throughout my career), so I see all kinds of kids, from the super-involved to those with no resources or parental involvement to encourage involvement. And I stand by my statement that MOST kids can carry on a conversation with adults and are good kids. I find it sad that someone with your supposed involvement with kids' organizations has such a negative opinion of the majority of today's youth. In fact, I am far more disturbed by that than whether you wear your hat indoors.

Finally your husband takes his hat off, you have taught your children to do the same, thats wonderful. But you go on to say you do not attribute nefarious intentions to those who do not. That's great too. I personally do attribute nefarious intentions to those who wear their hats everywhere, gansta style low on the eyes, with sideways bills and talk like a sailor on shore leave. We can agree to disagree on this one. Well now, you never specified that we were only discussing people who are rude in their speech while wearing hats indoors. I thought we were simply talking about any male who wears a hat indoors. Perhaps if you had clarified that you only meant those who meet those criteria, I might have agreed with you from the beginning. I don't care for people who choose to use off-color language in public places, either.

Maybe I live in a less idealic, more realistic world than you do. Hmm, no I don't think that's the problem.

And you still didn't answer the burning question...which football icon made that famous quote??

 

[kaytieeldr]

I believe that what once may have been considered "rude" in years past, may not necessarily be considered rude today.

Socially acceptable behavior changes over time.

There are many things now days that are generally acceptable, that were not acceptabe back when I was a child.

If someone chooses to be offended by someone who walks into Applebee's wearing a hat, you do indeed choose to feel that way.

If I see someone in Applebee's (or a similar place) with a hat on, it doesn't offend me in the least, because I choose not to be offended.

It could just as easily be inferred that over the years, people have become more rude and less concerned with others' feelings. Society - not high society, just how we behave as a whole - seems to have regressed.

Except in rare instances (integral part of one's outfit or uniform, religious beliefs...) nobody has yet provided a compelling reason why hats NEED to be worn indoors. "Everybody else is doing it" never worked with y
our parents, teachers, employers, or the police officers who stop speeders. It doesn't work on this topic, either.

 

[LisaR]

It could just as easily be inferred that over the years, people have become more rude and less concerned with others' feelings. Society - not high society, just how we behave as a whole - seems to have regressed.

Except in rare instances (integral part of one's outfit or uniform, religious beliefs...) nobody has yet provided a compelling reason why hats NEED to be worn indoors. "Everybody else is doing it" never worked with y
our parents, teachers, employers, or the police officers who stop speeders. It doesn't work on this topic, either.

It could also be inferred that over the years people have become far more sensitive, offend far too easily, stick their nose into what others around them are doing too often, and have overall become far too judgmental of others.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Kids don't use their phones to call each other these days, they text, and have running conversations in a language that I don't understand.

Just because you personally don't understand it make it less worthy?

It appears you missed the point. It doesn't matter that brerrabbit doesn't understand the texting language kids use; it matters that they can't communicate face to face using standard American words. It's not just kids, either. Gen whatever this is - people in their twenties and older - show the same lack of conversational ability.

Agreed, but adults have done this for years, too, but in print on from watching something on TV. Really nothing new here.

Could you elaborate, please? This response doesn't seem to make sense in relation to the statement to which you were responding. Older adults have done what for years? Off-road biking? Become socially isolated (if that's what you're saying - not to the degree it's happening now)? Or are you talking about the young adult, the daughter, having misplaced sympathy because her parents' 19 friends are likely actual people they know, while her 687 "friends" are well over six degrees away from her?

Yes, and they lived without computers to get on the internet and post on the Dis, too, but I don't see people complaining about that.

Good points... for a thread about the Internet or computers or the DIS interfering with peoples' restaurant dinners. Hold on to this red herring in case one of those threads shows up

Personally, I won't apologize for making sure my kids or a sitter can reach me at a moment's notice. Sure, our parents did without, but they also did without computers and many other devices that make life easier.

Aaaannnd there's that red herring again. Forgetting that, though, stop and think how many tomes any of the people you mention has called you that the matter was so urgent they needed you to intervene but not so vital they could avoid 911.

Bum Phillips ex head coach of the Houston Oilers

Bear Bryant, legendary Alabama football coach

Hmm, so which one was it?

Bless your heart, it could be apocryphal - or it could be both. Both men had mothers.

 

[smitch425]

It could just as easily be inferred that over the years, people have become more rude and less concerned with others' feelings. Society - not high society, just how we behave as a whole - seems to have regressed.

Except in rare instances (integral part of one's outfit or uniform, religious beliefs...) nobody has yet provided a compelling reason why hats NEED to be worn indoors. "Everybody else is doing it" never worked with y
our parents, teachers, employers, or the police officers who stop speeders. It doesn't work on this topic, either.

Several people have mentioned that it may be needed because taking it off after wearing all day would leave them with messed up hair.

The real question is why does someone have to prove to you (or anyone else) that they "need" to wear their hat indoors? Last time I checked, this was a free country and anyone with a head has every right to put a hat on it if they want to. I have yet to see anyone give a good reason as to why a hat "needs" to be taken off indoors. One poster stated that wearing a hat implies that someone is trying to "hide something" from them. Um...yeah...if they are trying to hide anything it is either hair or no hair. If someone has a deep dark secret, guess what? It isn't hiding under they hat. So although no one has given me a "compelling reason" for taking a hat off indoors, you won't see me asking for one because I don't need one. Their head, their choice, or by the way this thread reads, in some cases, their head, their mother's/wife's choice.

BTW, we went out to dinner tonight at a moderately priced italian restaurant (not Olive Garden, better than that). There were 38 people, and 12 of them were wearing hats. A couple were ladies with ballcaps on, not at the same table. Maybe it has to do with Dayton being a college town, not sure. I normally wouldn't even notice the hats, but now I do and I just can't help but smile.

 

[turkeymama]

WHEN I wear a hat, I do so because my hair is a mess or because I did not have time to use the flat iron. For example, every day of our recent Disney vacation I wore a ball cap, hair in a ponytail. I washed my hair every night or every morning (sometimes both), but I did not feel like dealing with the flat iron on vacation. I promise, with all my twists, curls, and twirls, no one needed to see my head without that ball cap. I left it on every time we left the room, even in restaurants. As a general rule, if I'm wearing a ball cap, its because I'm having a bad hair day and that bad boy isn't coming off regardless of where I am. Now, I will make it a point to not wear one in church or at social functions that dictate nicer attire (i.e. weddings, cocktail parties, etc).

 

[kaytieeldr]

It could also be inferred that over the years people have become far more sensitive, offend far too easily, stick their nose into what others around them are doing too often, and have overall become far too judgmental of others.

Only if one were to infer incorrectly . I actually see a lot of people in this thread taking offense because there are people who know/feel/believe certain behaviors or actions (inactions, to be technical) are rude. And it's not "sticking your nose in someone else's business when they make their business yours by, for example, forcing their personal music taste on you, or having a loud, ultra-personal phone conversation two feet away, or they whack the back of your head with their hat brim.

And I'm still waiting for any reasonable explanation why a baseball cap NEEDS to be worn indoors.

 

[LilyWDW]

It could also be inferred that over the years people have become far more sensitive, offend far too easily, stick their nose into what others around them are doing too often, and have overall become far too judgmental of others.

I actually feel that this is the bigger problem then any other. Too many people feel it is their "right" to judge others and that their "rules" are more important then anyone else. On top of that, political correctness has gone insane and you can't do anything without worrying about offending another person.

I will state though, I don't see that many kids who have issues having face to face conversations with adults or their peers. And I am talking about kids of all ages and backgrounds (public school system). Even when I was a child there were some kids who were not the strongest socially. It's also about the child's personality.

 

[kaytieeldr]

The real question is why does someone have to prove to you (or anyone else) that they "need" to wear their hat indoors?

Back to etiquette. Except in rare cases when the hat is worn for religious reasons, or is part of a uniform, or is an integral part of the outfit (e.g. a top hat), removing it indoors where there are no elements from which it can protect one indicates respect for one's fellow human beings.

 

[kaytieeldr]

When I was a kid/teen, there weren't seatbelts much less car seats.

I didn't realize you're that much older than I.