Bad tablemate during dinner

[Dug720]

Seems to me, since he is a doctor, he should have avoided the dining room with a sick child. Mild or otherwise, "just a cold" can be dangerous for some people.

This. OR at the very least taught her to cover her mouth and nose!

 

[janiebubble]

Hi there,
We are going on our 7th Disney cruise next month and can not wait. We have been very fortunate on 5 of them to have excellent tablemates during dinner - however, we had a very bad experience on our last one with a homophobic tablemate. We are a gay couple in our 40s without kids and Disney always pairs us with other couples without kids. In some magical way, they have usually paired us with other gay couples (I do not know how they do this, or if there is just a higher number of childless couples who are gay on DCL?).
We complained to the maitre'd who said there were no other tables available but we could come back at dinner time to see if there were some no-shows (people who went to Remy) and he could get us a table - he was quite rude to us. He told us to go to guest services who did nothing but direct us back to him. They called and left him a message for him to call us with new table reservations, but he never did. Then when we showed up he said he called us (he never did). He was able to secure a table for us, although it was nearby the other table. We really wanted to eat in the dining room that night and were upset about the change in waiters as we liked our other waiters. We ended up having room service the other nights which was actually enjoyable, but I do like the atmosphere at dinner in the dining rooms. We also left a tip for the new waiters and the old ones as well.
Has anyone else had bad experiences with tablemates? Was there a better way we should have handled this? I want to eat in the dining room and I like having tablemates because I love making new friends, but this last experience burned my husband pretty good - he is more introverted anyway.
Hopefully this next cruise will go better - if not, we haven't tried Cabanas for dinner yet

This is my big fear. We've cruised three times now, twice with extended family so had ready made table mates and once on our own. I requested a table for two because I really don't want to have to deal with the possibility of homophobia, but we were denied. Every night we waited for our tablemates and they never showed up. On the last night they just set the table for us. It made us both anxious every night. It's taken a lot to convince my gf to try it once more on our own but we're sailing next summer. fingers crossed it works out!

 

[xiphoid76]

What did you tablemate say?

It all started stupidly enough with a pink tie the waiter was wearing - the guest said "I wouldn't be caught dead wearing a pink tie"...I knew what he meant - but just gave a look to my husband. Another woman at the table asked him what he meant and he said some things are just meant for girls. I then, being from Philly originally and like talking, told him that pink used to be a boys color and blue traditionally a girls color until toy manufacturers decided on the reverse in the 1940's (I think I just read that on mental floss or Uncle Johns bathroom reader not too long before). It deteriorated from there a bit but nothing completely terrible was said, just uncomfortableness and silence. It is difficult to describe the feeling when you are around someone like that...it wasn't outright hostility by any means, just unnerving. Disney is fantastic and I say 95% of the people we have met are awesome. I don't expect people to share political views or ideologies, but acceptance should always be encouraged. Especially during a two hour dinner - I like keeping topics to Disney, food, Disney movies, excursions and Disney
Thanks for all the awesome comments on this post everyone!! Next cruise in 28 days....12/5 Dream

 

[dragynally]

It all started stupidly enough with a pink tie the waiter was wearing - the guest said "I wouldn't be caught dead wearing a pink tie"...I knew what he meant - but just gave a look to my husband. Another woman at the table asked him what he meant and he said some things are just meant for girls. I then, being from Philly originally and like talking, told him that pink used to be a boys color and blue traditionally a girls color until toy manufacturers decided on the reverse in the 1940's (I think I just read that on mental floss or Uncle Johns bathroom reader not too long before). It deteriorated from there a bit but nothing completely terrible was said, just uncomfortableness and silence. It is difficult to describe the feeling when you are around someone like that...it wasn't outright hostility by any means, just unnerving. Disney is fantastic and I say 95% of the people we have met are awesome. I don't expect people to share political views or ideologies, but acceptance should always be encouraged. Especially during a two hour dinner - I like keeping topics to Disney, food, Disney movies, excursions and Disney
Thanks for all the awesome comments on this post everyone!! Next cruise in 28 days....12/5 Dream

I hear ya. It's the subtle BS that can hurt the most sometimes. Consider joining a cruise group and prescreening table mates there. It has helped my husband and me.

 

[Flounder89]

Uh that's terrible -.- I'm so sorry that happened...we are cruising as a couple and last time we were put together with newlyweds and we had a nice time but next time on our EBTA I think i would prefer to get a table alone...just because we want to have a romantic getaway for 2. How do you request separate tables?

 

[dragynally]

Uh that's terrible -.- I'm so sorry that happened...we are cruising as a couple and last time we were put together with newlyweds and we had a nice time but next time on our EBTA I think i would prefer to get a table alone...just because we want to have a romantic getaway for 2. How do you request separate tables?

Call ahead and keep your fingers crossed. It's hit or miss. I asked for our next cruise a year in advance and will ask again several times.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

Uh that's terrible -.- I'm so sorry that happened...we are cruising as a couple and last time we were put together with newlyweds and we had a nice time but next time on our EBTA I think i would prefer to get a table alone...just because we want to have a romantic getaway for 2. How do you request separate tables?

Call DCL and have the request placed on your reservation. If you used a TA, they have to make the call.

They'll tell you "it's just a request" but many such requests are honored, some aren't.

 

[jdb in AZ]

On our Panama Canal cruise we were stuck with a British woman who made a grand entrance into the dining room 15 mins late every night, on the arm of the head waiter. Her DD worked on the Dream so mama was the self-proclaimed expert on every thing DCL (tho she frequently spewed misinformation) and she kept a list of things she didn't like. I assume the list ended up at guest services. She was a real Debby Downer, and everyone was relieved when she went to Palo for two of the nights. (Since it was a 14-night cruise there were plenty of Palo reservations available for guests who wanted to eat there more than once.) Another woman at our table didn't speak English, so we mostly talked to her DH and another couple who were nice enough but we didn't have much in common.

When we booked our DCL Hawaii cruise we joined the cruise meets thread and made arrangements to eat with other DIS people, and they were fine table mates.

FWIW on a west coast cruise we were seated with a gay couple and everyone at the table got along fine.

 

[MUN]

It all started stupidly enough with a pink tie the waiter was wearing - the guest said "I wouldn't be caught dead wearing a pink tie"...I knew what he meant - but just gave a look to my husband. Another woman at the table asked him what he meant and he said some things are just meant for girls. I then, being from Philly originally and like talking, told him that pink used to be a boys color and blue traditionally a girls color until toy manufacturers decided on the reverse in the 1940's (I think I just read that on mental floss or Uncle Johns bathroom reader not too long before). It deteriorated from there a bit but nothing completely terrible was said, just uncomfortableness and silence. It is difficult to describe the feeling when you are around someone like that...it wasn't outright hostility by any means, just unnerving. Disney is fantastic and I say 95% of the people we have met are awesome. I don't expect people to share political views or ideologies, but acceptance should always be encouraged. Especially during a two hour dinner - I like keeping topics to Disney, food, Disney movies, excursions and Disney
Thanks for all the awesome comments on this post everyone!! Next cruise in 28 days....12/5 Dream

Yikes! That's a horrible thing to say. It's too bad DCL couldn't accommodate your request to move tables.

MUN

 

[Flounder89]

Call ahead and keep your fingers crossed. It's hit or miss. I asked for our next cruise a year in advance and will ask again several times.

Call DCL and have the request placed on your reservation. If you used a TA, they have to make the call.

They'll tell you "it's just a request" but many such requests are honored, some aren't.

Thank you!

 

[phinz]

Mild or otherwise, "just a cold" can be dangerous for some people.

For people where "just a cold" could be dangerous, just being *on* a cruise ship could be dangerous. It's not like they have bubbles for people to stay in. The whole thing is a floating petri dish.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

For people where "just a cold" could be dangerous, just being *on* a cruise ship could be dangerous. It's not like they have bubbles for people to stay in. The whole thing is a floating petri dish.

I agree, but there's no sense in creating an avoidable bad contact.

 

[phinz]

I agree, but there's no sense in creating an avoidable bad contact.

Hey, it wouldn't be an adventurous vacation if we didn't play a bit of Contagion Roulette now, would it?

 

[disneyholic family]

Hi there,
We are going on our 7th Disney cruise next month and can not wait. We have been very fortunate on 5 of them to have excellent tablemates during dinner - however, we had a very bad experience on our last one with a homophobic tablemate. We are a gay couple in our 40s without kids and Disney always pairs us with other couples without kids. In some magical way, they have usually paired us with other gay couples (I do not know how they do this, or if there is just a higher number of childless couples who are gay on DCL?).
We complained to the maitre'd who said there were no other tables available but we could come back at dinner time to see if there were some no-shows (people who went to Remy) and he could get us a table - he was quite rude to us. He told us to go to guest services who did nothing but direct us back to him. They called and left him a message for him to call us with new table reservations, but he never did. Then when we showed up he said he called us (he never did). He was able to secure a table for us, although it was nearby the other table. We really wanted to eat in the dining room that night and were upset about the change in waiters as we liked our other waiters. We ended up having room service the other nights which was actually enjoyable, but I do like the atmosphere at dinner in the dining rooms. We also left a tip for the new waiters and the old ones as well.
Has anyone else had bad experiences with tablemates? Was there a better way we should have handled this? I want to eat in the dining room and I like having tablemates because I love making new friends, but this last experience burned my husband pretty good - he is more introverted anyway.
Hopefully this next cruise will go better - if not, we haven't tried Cabanas for dinner yet

so sorry you had such an unpleasant experience!!!!
this isn't really the answer you're looking for, but we always request private tables....
i'm so afraid of something like this happening.....being matched with someone who will make the entire cruise a trial...
the dining rooms are a very very very important part of our cruise, so anything that makes it even slightly unpleasant would be a major downer for our cruise in general..

the only time we've shared tables was at breakfast on radiance of the seas - where you HAVE to join others...
this was in alaska...most mornings, the tablemates were pleasant and interesting (after all, we had alaska to talk about)..
but two of the mornings, a few of the guests were the most unpleasant people i've had the bad fortune of encountering...
not the way i want to spend my breakfast..
so after that, there is no way i'll ever not request a private table for dinner...and i hope we always manage to get it!!!!

 

[nycdisneygal]

That guy was incredibly rude and I cant believe that DCL did not handle it appropriately. I hope your next cruise will be more magical!

PS my male boss wears a pink tie on a regular basis. he is an impeccable dresser.

 

[squirk]

Dinner is our time to catch up on our day. Just like at home. I'm much more interested in getting to hear about my family's day than other folks' day.

^ This. I am not anti-social, but I don't go on Disney cruises to socialize. I cruise to reconnect with my wife and kids.

Given the premiums we pay for DCL's family-oriented focus, I don't want to feel obliged to make small talk with strangers at dinner, even if they're the world's nicest strangers. It's just not why I'm there.

 

[timrousbeastie]

Hi there,
We are going on our 7th Disney cruise next month and can not wait. We have been very fortunate on 5 of them to have excellent tablemates during dinner - however, we had a very bad experience on our last one with a homophobic tablemate. We are a gay couple in our 40s without kids and Disney always pairs us with other couples without kids. In some magical way, they have usually paired us with other gay couples (I do not know how they do this, or if there is just a higher number of childless couples who are gay on DCL?).
We complained to the maitre'd who said there were no other tables available but we could come back at dinner time to see if there were some no-shows (people who went to Remy) and he could get us a table - he was quite rude to us. He told us to go to guest services who did nothing but direct us back to him. They called and left him a message for him to call us with new table reservations, but he never did. Then when we showed up he said he called us (he never did). He was able to secure a table for us, although it was nearby the other table. We really wanted to eat in the dining room that night and were upset about the change in waiters as we liked our other waiters. We ended up having room service the other nights which was actually enjoyable, but I do like the atmosphere at dinner in the dining rooms. We also left a tip for the new waiters and the old ones as well.
Has anyone else had bad experiences with tablemates? Was there a better way we should have handled this? I want to eat in the dining room and I like having tablemates because I love making new friends, but this last experience burned my husband pretty good - he is more introverted anyway.
Hopefully this next cruise will go better - if not, we haven't tried Cabanas for dinner yet

I felt so bad reading this. I can see how such an experience would make a person, especially someone quiet, develop a misantrophic outlook. For me, anything Disney has always been a refuge where I felt like I could celebrate the innocence and naivity of childhood, which most of us lose as we grow up, with kindred spirits. That's a large part of why I choose to take my own family to the Disney resorts and cruises for our vacations. And why reading about your Disney vacation was so gut-wrenching.

You handled it beyond graciously and I am really glad that it has not stopped you from cruising. I take comfort in the firm belief that both Disney's upper management and history gradually will work towards making cynical experiences, such as yours, rarer and rarer.

 

[Barbydoll8]

I first would like to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry that your tablemate was such a closed minded jerk. Horrible.
Next, I would love to be your table mate! DH & I have been on 4 cruises (one more next year) and we are the annoying table mates. LOL At least we think we are. We are 2 40/50 something no kids Disney dorks. We are not dress up people. Well ok, we are biker type people. AND DH loves to talk. Which can take people back a bit cause he'll talk to anyone about anything. He just loves people.
On our 3rd cruise I think we offended our uptight table mates. We're very chatty and very down to Earth people. The wife was fairly social but the husband really came off like we were lowlifes and he didn't want anything to do with us. After the 2nd night, we never saw them again. Their loss.
People are people and meeting new people expands your mind and life. I understand why others don't want to but we'd love to one day sit with you and hubby! You sound like you are fun people to be around.
I hope you try it again and it works for you well.

 

[Shanti]

It's the subtle BS that can hurt the most sometimes.

True that. I know exactly what you're talking about and I'm not even gay.

 

[OrcaPotter]

My family have always requested a private table on DCL and had always been granted that request. When I went with my best friend, we were paired with a gay couple who were amazing and we are friends now to this day. However, on my family's last cruise, we had a solo traveler assigned to our 4-top. It was very awkward but we felt so guilty about "abandoning" this person, we didn't request a change. We also kept bumping into this person all over the ship, so if we had changed, that would have made us feel worse.

I understand that space in the dining rooms is limited. Perhaps this person was the only solo traveler on the ship or at our dining time. But I hope they add more dining options to the new ships so that accommodating dining preferences is easier.