Baby Shower a year later???

[raysnkaysmom]

If it wasnt' for the DIS, I never woulda known it was rude to have a baby shower when subsequent child is close in age to first child...
But, I dont want people to think I'm rude or greedy, so I've put no thought into a baby shower..
Well, the other day, my oldest DD (13) and my stepmom asked me if I have a date for the shower yet. I told them I hadn't planned on having one, since I just had one last year for Sage. They said "That was for Sage...what about Ella?"

True, there isn't much I need (aside from the fact that I'm now having a girl when I had a boy last year), but now I feel kinda guilty. What about when Ella grows up... sees pictures and hears stories about her siblings showers and wants to know why she didn't get one.

Should I allow my oldest DD to put one together just for family or friends (I have since moved to a new town, made a couple new friends and transferred to a new job location)... like, maybe a necessity shower.. diapers, wipes, bottles etc? She is bummed I said I wasn't having one.. and, like I said..I feel bad for Ella when she grows up and its like she wasn't important enough for a shower just because mommy had Sage a year before??

2 cents?

 

[shelly3girls]

I did not have a shower for DS even though he was our first boy and 5 years younger than my middle child. Instead I went out to lunch with my closest friends and family (all women) to celebrate DS's impending arrival. No gifts were involved but we did have cake. It was a wonderful way to celebrate his life.

 

[rparmfamily]

I understand you think Ella will feel slighted, but do you feel slighted if you didn't get one? I'm 35 and I don't care if my mom had one or not. My son doesn't seem to care he doesn't either, LOL. Perhaps someone could host a brunch, maybe after Ella is here, to celebrate her arrive. With my son we did a luncheon at Olive Garden, no gifts please.

 

[powellrj]

My kids are wayyy spread out in age and I only had a shower for my oldest. There is no way I would let anyone have a shower for me a year after the last one. None of my kids have ever asked why I never had a shower for them.

 

[raysnkaysmom]

I like the luncheon idea...thats nice...

I also just thought that I could bring my girls (ages 13 and 8) and my stepmom (the ones who are most upset by the fact we aren't having a shower) to Babies R Us and pick out one item a piece we want her to have sometime soon.. maybe that'll be cool...then follow it with an icecream outing

Any excuse for shopping and sweets... LOL

 

[Ember]

Subsequent showers are okay according to both Miss Manners and Peggy Post. The "rules" are that they should be confined to family and close friends and that no one invited to a previous shower is expected to bring a gift. You also never host a shower for yourself.

Each child should be celebrated and there is nothing wrong with doing so. As long as it's handled gracefully and with decorum, it won't come across as a gift grab - so accept the generous offer of a shower and enjoy it.

In lieu of a shower you might also host a non-traditional celebration of your new baby. A big family BBQ, for example. Any even that isn't requesting gifts you can host yourself so that everyone can meet and welcome baby!

 

[Piecey]

I'm not sure why Ella would care?

I mean, the shower is for YOU.. not really her.

I don't care that my mother didn't have one for me. She didn't need anything. So what?
(My brother is 3 years older.)


However.. if family members want to throw you one, let them.
I wouldn't send out invitations, though. I'd only tell the people that asked that the family is doing a "small thing" if they want to stop by.

 

[hentob]

What about when Ella grows up... sees pictures and hears stories about her siblings showers and wants to know why she didn't get one.

……. and, like I said..I feel bad for Ella when she grows up and its like she wasn't important enough for a shower just because mommy had Sage a year before??

2 cents?

She won’t care. She really won’t give it two thoughts. If she grows up and does start saying she feels unimportant that she did not have a baby shower prior to her birth, then you will need to find her a professional to speak to

Should I allow my oldest DD to put one together just for family or friends (I have since moved to a new town, made a couple new friends and transferred to a new job location)... like, maybe a necessity shower.. diapers, wipes, bottles etc??

No. Tacky. If you need “necessities”, go purchase them. If somebody wants to buy something for the baby, they will do so without a shower.

 

[Dizzy4Disney90210]

I think showers should only be for first babies, by the second/third/fourth parents should have what they need.

 

[Dizzy4Disney90210]

t..I feel bad for Ella when she grows up and its like she wasn't important enough for a shower just because mommy had Sage a year before??

2 cents?

Do you remember your baby shower? I have no idea if my mother had one for me LOL and I don't care.

 

[JohnsonsLoveDisney]

I say if they want to throw you one, let them, and enjoy it.

My DD insited that I have one with my 3rd. Who is only 20 months younger than my second and yet another girl.

So she and my mom put together a Baby Sprinkle. Since I didnt need a ton of stuff and had anyone that wanted to bring a gift, bring consumables, diapers, wipes, lotion, shampoo, etc.

I had a few bring other gifts that were just as welcomed. and it was great fun. I wouldnt allow anything traditional, like games etc. We had a Luau, since DD's "theme" was tropical and I had everyone that wanted too, make a scrapbook page for her album.

All that came were close friends and family members. and was not as big as the shower for DD #2.

 

[raysnkaysmom]

I think showers should only be for first babies, by the second/third/fourth parents should have what they need.

I dont necessarily agree with THAT statement... although I do have mostly what I need now because it's only a little over a yr difference...

My last one was EIGHT years later... and was a boy vs a girl... I had NOTHING left from having a baby.. and if I did...it woulda been pink

 

[BuffettFan]

I agree with pretty much everyone above.

My two kids are 2 years apart, a girl, then a boy, but I only had one shower.
Neither of them have ever given any thought at all that people threw me a shower for my daughter but not my son. (They're teens now)

You have all the essentials already.

I would def. find it tacky to be invited to a shower for someone who had recently had another baby....be it family or friend.

 

[HelenePA]

if your looking for a reason to party more or less why not wait til after she is here and have a meet the baby lunch or something? this way she gets a "party" and will have no reason to feel slighted

 

[raysnkaysmom]

Do you remember your baby shower? I have no idea if my mother had one for me LOL and I don't care.

Nothing like that...I'm just a huge picture fanatic...and have many pictures in the baby book and albums from my showers of my kids.. and she wont have anything like that in her baby book. The part of a baby book that asks about gifts recieved at the shower? It'll be blank..... thats what I feel guilty about. Maybe it's my pregnancy hormones....

But..like I said, I'm not trying to justify having one...because I'm fine without it...like I said I dont really need for anything.. but my daughter and stepmom are upset by it... So, maybe we'll have a luncheon in or out as suggested and be done wtih it

 

[hentob]

I dont necessarily agree with THAT statement... although I do have mostly what I need now because it's only a little over a yr difference...

My last one was EIGHT years later... and was a boy vs a girl... I had NOTHING left from having a baby.. and if I did...it woulda been pink

And so, you get into your car and you go and buy new things in whatever color you want

It seems like you want a shower So, I am sure you will have one. But remember that people will celebrate your baby without your daughter sending them an invitation to do so.

Using the excuse that you will feel badly for the Showerless Baby when it grows up is a bit strange

 

[Piecey]

Using the excuse that you will feel badly for the Showerless Baby when it grows up is a bit strange

Agreed.

This is my first. I have nothing... and my mother is throwing me a shower but I'd really rather her not!

 

[raysnkaysmom]

Agreed.

This is my first. I have nothing... and my mother is throwing me a shower but I'd really rather her not!

Sometimes....its better if a friend vs a parent throws the shower....lol

 

[Piecey]

Sometimes....its better if a friend vs a parent throws the shower....lol

All my friends went away to college. I'm the freak that stayed home, got married, bought a house and made a baby.

Whoops.

I just don't like attention. I will get through it, I'm sure... corny games and all.

 

[raysnkaysmom]

All my friends went away to college. I'm the freak that stayed home, got married, bought a house and made a baby.

Whoops.

I just don't like attention. I will get through it, I'm sure... corny games and all.

lol...
With my first..it was my mother in law who threw the shower. I didnt' really want one either... but it was the first grandbaby from her baby boy and she started planning it from teh day we said we were expecting.
Yeah, the games were corny, but it's something you'll always remember. Try to enjoy it