Babnanas 9: Something snappy.....Like BACON!!

[kwitcherkicken99]

Ugh!

YOU CAN HAVE IT!

I don't wanna grow up!

 

[Mean Queen]

Ugh!

YOU CAN HAVE IT!

I don't wanna grow up!

I'm with ya sister! Let's refuse to grow up together, we can make it a trend.

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

 

[LegoMom3]

Ugh!

YOU CAN HAVE IT!

I don't wanna grow up!

I'm with ya sister! Let's refuse to grow up together, we can make it a trend.

Let's make a Neverland for Girls.

.

 

[Mean Queen]

Let's make a Neverland for Girls.

.

I like that idea!

Any good April Fool's Jokes? DD6 is trying but failing at the concept. "I'm not hungry" followed immediately by "April Fool, I AM hungry!"

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

The DISunplugged did a fake report that there was a group of parents suing Disney to ban all character interactions. See here.

A gal from TP put googly eyes on all of the food in her fridge.

Another gal froze her kids Cheerios last night.

 

[LegoMom3]

I need to vent.....

And I could use some advice.

The inevitable question was raised this weekend about going to the IL's for Easter dinner next week. I had wanted to ask BIL and girlfriend to come here, but I missed that chance and now it's too late. I don't. Want. to Go.

All along, since being back, DH has talked a good game about supporting me and standing by my feelings, but it seems like when it comes down to it, when it's time to face the music, he sheepishly gives in to his parents. I have had enough. Is it any wonder why I loved living so far away??! I didn't miss these people. I didn't miss the constant interference (harder to do by phone!), and I didn't miss the expectation that we would attend every "major" family function.

I'm not telling DH not to go! I'm not telling him to stay home and not bring the boys over! (although I'm not sure all three of them are even on board with this...). But I don't want to go!!!

So the scenarios I see playing out are one of the following:

* None of us go, the IL's make a stink about it, and there's tension between DH and I and I feel like scum.

* He goes (w/kids) without me, and flat out tells these people I don't want to be there. DH feels like I'm putting him in an uncomfortable situation, and I feel like scum.

* We all go and I am prepared to do battle. I don't want to hug these people (they're huggers....DO.NOT.TOUCH.ME!). This will be the first thing to tip them off that all is not well with me. I don't want to engage them in stupid conversation. And when the inevitable off-side comment emerges, I will not keep quiet. I am through being mousy around them, conforming to their neat little mold and pretending to be someone I am not. I no longer care if they like me or not. But this defense mode sort of ruins the Easter spirit, and I feel like scum.

The end.

 

[creativeamanda]

Legomom: No real words of advice, but I can totally relate.

The issue is if they don't understand that there are boundaries, they need to know. And soon.

 

[LegoMom3]

Legomom: No real words of advice, but I can totally relate.

The issue is if they don't understand that there are boundaries, they need to know. And soon.

It's a matter of "know" vs. "accept." Any time I go against their point of view on ANY thing, I'm the one with a problem and I'm the one who needs to reexamine my feelings and I'm the one who is flat-out wrong.

They have become weird old people and it's their way or no way.

.

 

[creativeamanda]

It's a matter of "know" vs. "accept." Any time I go against their point of view on ANY thing, I'm the one with a problem and I'm the one who needs to reexamine my feelings and I'm the one who is flat-out wrong.

They have become weird old people and it's their way or no way.

.

The sad thing is, LM, I know exactly what you mean by that and I am sorry I can't offer you more than

In my case, it's good that family is not so close. There is at least one state between me and almost every member of the family.

This also seems like an issue you will have to take up with your husband. It's hard for the son to go against what his mom says, but it's probably about time he fought the fight for you.

 

[LegoMom3]

The sad thing is, LM, I know exactly what you mean by that and I am sorry I can't offer you more than

In my case, it's good that family is not so close. There is at least one state between me and almost every member of the family.

This also seems like an issue you will have to take up with your husband. It's hard for the son to go against what his mom says, but it's probably about time he fought the fight for you.

LONG past time. I'm sorry to say he has stood and said NOTHING in the past, on more than one occasion, where she was being outright mean to me. It's demeaning, humiliating, and embarrassing in front of everyone else. We've been married 20 years this month. Really??....how long am I supposed to wait for "the man shall leave his home...."?! It feels like now that we're back in such close proximity (35 miles, same state), the apron strings reattached themselves....

 

[creativeamanda]

LONG past time. I'm sorry to say he has stood and said NOTHING in the past, on more than one occasion, where she was being outright mean to me. It's demeaning, humiliating, and embarrassing in front of everyone else. We've been married 20 years this month. Really??....how long am I supposed to wait for "the man shall leave his home...."?! It feels like now that we're back in such close proximity (35 miles, same state), the apron strings reattached themselves....

Is there a pastor you can talk to?

 

[SadieDog]

LONG past time. I'm sorry to say he has stood and said NOTHING in the past, on more than one occasion, where she was being outright mean to me. It's demeaning, humiliating, and embarrassing in front of everyone else. We've been married 20 years this month. Really??....how long am I supposed to wait for "the man shall leave his home...."?! It feels like now that we're back in such close proximity (35 miles, same state), the apron strings reattached themselves....

I'm so sorry. Believe me when I tell you that I understand how you feel when your husband is not supporting and sticking up for you. I'm sorry to say, but I think the main issue is with your husband. Once he can cut the apron strings and put his wife 1st, things will be much better. Change needs to start with your husband.

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

LM, first off,

DH's grandparents (mom's side) were always awful to his dad. They cut him down because he was poor and of the wrong religion. Eventually, Larry just stayed home. He would go in the beginning and be so miserable that he'd leave after 2 hours (max). Then he stopped coming other than for Christmas.

Sadly, they didn't care if he came or not. Heaven forbid he took care of his family, supported his wife, did the right thing - he was never good enough. And still isn't but he's a lot more tolerable of their comments. Now when they say something he doesn't like, he literally says his peace and walks out of the house.

Your DH needs to put on his big boy pants and stand up to mommy or it's going to be a LONG summer for him.

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

PS - Just stay home and save yourself the headache.

 

[LegoMom3]

PS - Just stay home and save yourself the headache.

And you know, that's the thing! I'm staying home (or wanting to) not just because I refuse to be fake for them anymore, but to allow everyone else to actually enjoy the day!! If I go, it's either be fake or stand up for myself which equals lots of tension and ultimately anger.

 

[LegoMom3]

Time to lighten the mood!!

I wear glasses for reading and have another old pair that I use when the computer screen starts to get to me. I have noticed this weekend that when either pair of glasses is off, my right eye is straining (I can feel it!!), and words are blurry.....

::sigh:: Gotta love gettin' older!!


















NOT!!!!!!!

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

And there's no point in doing that to yourself or others.

I stopped going with DH to his "friend's" houses because of their wives. They've all decided to not like me for some reason (I have an idea of the reason and I'd love to punch her). BUT, I'm bigger than that. I have to deal with 3 of them on our T-ball team this year. Maybe I'll ask them what she said I did so that they won't speak to me at all anymore - they won't even make eye contact.

No skin off my back. I dislike them because they're all witches. They dislike me because someone lied.

 

[LegoMom3]

And there's no point in doing that to yourself or others.

I stopped going with DH to his "friend's" houses because of their wives. They've all decided to not like me for some reason (I have an idea of the reason and I'd love to punch her). BUT, I'm bigger than that. I have to deal with 3 of them on our T-ball team this year. Maybe I'll ask them what she said I did so that they won't speak to me at all anymore - they won't even make eye contact.

No skin off my back. I dislike them because they're all witches. They dislike me because someone lied.

Go for it! I love to confront people who act like this based on rumor. It makes you the better person by far! (and you are anyway to begin with!!).

.

 

[Mean Queen]

LM - I'm sorry for the family drama. I was just saying to DH today that all I want to do for Easter is go to brunch in the morning then have our friends come over in the afternoon to swim, have an egg hunt, and dinner. But instead we have to meet his mom and step-dad for brunch then do something later with my dad, his wife, and my grandparents. I always avoid any topics that have to do with politics, religion, how we raise our children, or how often we like to go to Disney. I also try to make our plans in public places to make sure we are on neutral ground, but that doesn't always happen.

If you can't come down with some sickness that you'd hate to pass on to the rest of the family, then you need a strong talk with DH. Either he backs you up or you don't go and he's left to explain it.