Asking a friend to join your vacation

[lubob]

If you did the inviting it is your responsibility to pay for the friends whole trip. When you ask somebody out to dinner , you don't expect them to pick up the bill. You did the inviting, you pay.

 

[Nancyg56]

Right that's what I mean. If you were talking to this to someone you knew you are pretty much going to tell them what they want to hear cause it is just an uncomfortable situation I think if you feel different.

I think so as well. Money is a personal subject, and there can be a difference between two families discussing a trip and one saying that tehy cannto justify the funds. It is another entirely trying to tell your DD, her friend, and your DD's parents you cannot afford the money to send your child on a vacation. To me, that is a level of pressure that can be really stressful.

As the OP came back to point out, she DIDN'T ask this question. Turns out what she wanted to know was whether or not reservations for the 3rd person could be cancelled if necessary. Who knew? We all went down the same rabbit hole in discussing the issue of who pays for what.

And for the record, I've followed this thread since the beginning and only one person actually said they'd be offended if they were invited and also asked to pay some of their own way. The vast majority of us that were on the side of "host pays for everything" simply said that if we were doing the inviting, we'd also expect to be paying. And that's not just rhetorical; many of us have actually done it. I'm not sure where your application of the term "entitlement" comes into play in such a scenario.

Rabbit hole!!!! LOL!!!!

I also thought that for the most part folks were pretty nice. Honest, but nice, and I did not see an onslaught of people expressing that they would be offended. The whole "entitled" thing was odd considering most of us simply shared how we handle these situations in our own lives. These issues have cropped up several times as my children were growing up, and they do now as well. I do nto think anyoen said they will nilly open their wallets, but we have said that if there is a situation that arises that we need to make a decision to include another person we figure out how to manage that. Or not.

If you did the inviting it is your responsibility to pay for the friends whole trip. When you ask somebody out to dinner , you don't expect them to pick up the bill. You did the inviting, you pay.

Oh no! Don't go there! My DH is fixated on the dinner thing lately! When he asks the kids to join us he pays. For everyone. So when the boys ask us to join them (JOIN THEM!!!! LOL) he will ponder all the way home, why did he need to pay????? Now the man seldom lets them pay our freight, so this is truely a rhetorical question, but one that goes on for at least 20 minutes on the drive home.

 

[Amy&Dan]

OP, I hope you and your daughter have a wonderful time! What s special trip for the two of you...

Fwiw, I think there is nothing wrong with asking someone to go along and cover some or all of their costs.

 

[Vijoge]

Fwiw, I think there is nothing wrong with asking someone to go along and cover some or all of their costs.

If one of my granddaughter's friends were to invite her to accompany her family on vacation provided we pay DGD's expenses I would definitely not be offended. And if the vacation was something as costly as a Disney trip I think I would feel a bit uncomfortable allowing them to pay. Dinner, a movie, a camping weekend, that's one thing. . .a $1000+ experience is something else.