ok then I'll be brave although will probably electrocute myself by crying into the keyboard...
at what point did you know Josh was 'different' and how did you know?
at what point was it confirmed and how did you feel?
did you feel guilt or anger that this had been thrust upon you?
We know Joshua can't speak and that must be frustrating at times, is it an impossibility that he will ever speak or is it that he 'chooses' not to?
we know you get frustrated by comments from others that he's too big for a pushchair when you're in WDW but how does the general public show their ignorance and if you could teach us all one lesson here in how to behave around children with severe autism what would it be?
(sorry thats so long and I hope its ok, I just feel we can all learn something from people as brave as you two
you know we all love and admire you here)
Hi Carol,
The first 2 questions are sort of connected.
We sort of knew from the age of 2 that there were possible problems with his speech, at an early age he was making the sort of noises that all young babies make, but these never developed into resembling words as such.
He did have tests and a few home visits through our GP but we never really got any indication that it could be a permanent thing until we actually found out in January 2001. Joshua had what is known as a 'febrile convulsion' whilst he was ill with a virus - caused by his temperature shooting up quickly - something a lot of children have suffered from we were told.
It was during the tests and the time spent in hospital that it became clear from the Doctor's examinations that Joshua was not developing as he should have, to be honest I think we kind of already knew to a degree.
Not long afterwards he was diagnosed as Autistic.
Unfortunatley also in 2003 he was diagnosed with Epilepsy, and for a period of a year or so did have fairly regular convulsions. Thankfully he has only had 1 in the last 3 years, just a shame it was on our flight to Orlando last year. The drug he takes twice daily manages to control it and to be honest we don't even think about it now.
I don't know about guilt/anger Carol, we as parents just get on with it, when the Autism/Epilepsy came together we did sort of think "why us" for a while, who wouldn't.
The hardest part was the school bit, Joshua goes to a special school but our 1st visit was a humbling/upsetting experience, to be honest there are a lot of children there who are physically disabled. In many ways we feel we are lucky, Joshua is fully mobile, very happy, playful and has such a cheeky little character too.
The one thing we do find hard is watching (we rarely do) the old camcorder holiday tapes when Joshua was very young, naturally at that stage we wouldn't know he would never actually talk, so in a way they can be quite upsetting, although enjoyable too!
Will he ever talk, I honestly don't think he will , it's highly unlikely he will I fear - he does make sounds and can communicate in many other ways.
We have been offered a 'brain scan' which reveal the cause/causes but as it would be a hospital trip where he would have to be put to sleep we don't want to put him through it, especially as he won't benefit in any way.
I sometimes think he finds it a bit frustrating at times, but he does find other ways of telling us things, and to be honest we speak to him as if he could talk anyway.
He definitely understands a lot of what we say to him, however it's not just a speech thing it's 'severe learning disability' too.
I think the frustration from other's comes from a lack of understanding really, Autism is such a broad subject and there are so many types it's understandable there are a few 'grey areas'.
To be honest I guess the difficulty comes partly because Joshua is perfectly mobile, in theory he should be able to walk around the theme parks, but his Autism just prevents it - in the same way as visiting a restuarant can be difficult too.
I think the ignorance is just the looks we get really, you know people are thinking "that child shouldn't be in a pushchair" etc, you just have to blank it out really...I mean now we have a mini wheelchair, not sure what the reaction will be when he gets out of it and walks! Do I care.....NO!
The teaching bit? good question, I mean you cannot tell Joshua has Autism, I guess that's where the reaction of others get's a bit muddled perhaps.
I think just be patient, that's one thing we have to be, if you see someone is disabled in anyway just show them some respect - it's not an easy life with a disabled child
The thing that really hits me hard is will he ever be able to go out for a pint with me, or out to the match with his mates? The things we all take for granted I suppose.
Thanks for the kind words, it's nice to have so many good friends - what was I thinking about when I quit the boards a while back (what a plonker!).
That's the whole point of them, after all (props again to little Matt).
And hey wait a minute, I'm mini matt? Does that mean that Matt is my... father?! 
Wait.... and carol is my mother........
You should of tightened his leash Deb!!! 
. I'm especially intrigued about his age. I'd always assumed he was quite young (from the photos in your signature), but you've mentioned that his first trip was in 1997.
