As someone that's over weight I can only imagine how she felt

[Colleen27]

The lack of empathy is astounding, considering her description of her own history. She has no idea where someone else might be in their own journey, and she admits it took years to receive a diagnosis, get the medication right, and then lose the extra weight after developing a thyroid problem.

I also agree with the article. When I was pregnant with my children, my Dr.s all had me watch my weight and told me various possible consequences if I didn't. Now, my Dr. rarely mentions the weight issue at all because they're so afraid of offending (or being politically correct).

I think your doc is a major exception in that. Most doctors put weight front and center, even to the exclusion of other issues and complaints. Weight bias, particularly when dealing with female patients, is very well documented, and makes it harder for an overweight or obese person to get her complaints addressed directly.

http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0048448
https://www.prevention.com/health/healthy-living/weight-and-obesity-discrimination-doctors

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

The lack of empathy is astounding, considering her description of her own history. She has no idea where someone else might be in their own journey, and she admits it took years to receive a diagnosis, get the medication right, and then lose the extra weight after developing a thyroid problem.



I think your doc is a major exception in that. Most doctors put weight front and center, even to the exclusion of other issues and complaints. Weight bias, particularly when dealing with female patients, is very well documented, and makes it harder for an overweight or obese person to get her complaints addressed directly.

http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0048448
https://www.prevention.com/health/healthy-living/weight-and-obesity-discrimination-doctors

I picked up thinkomg from the article that I missed but did not see her tyrod problem altoough if she had one who's to say the teacher did not as well

 

[melissapealo]

I guess it's her decision where to take her child even if I don't agree with how she made that determination. I don't think there was any need to write a letter about it though. Should have just moved on.

 

[ols386]

Tink, you don't look overweight at all.

 

[Chocolate Cake]

The fat hating author "writes about enjoying having a slim figure and wearing tight-fitting clothes". Yeah. She has some mental issues. Enjoys wearing tight clothes to the point where she is disgusted by others that don't or can't.

She says: "Rolls of fat are not attractive — I shouldn’t be scared to say that. Research has proven that, in many ways, being obese is as unhealthy as smoking. It causes cancer, heart disease and diabetes and can impede fertility."

I can't stand fat haters that pretend to be worried about the health of overweight people. They don't really care. They are just truly turned off by people that aren't as skinny as them. Shrug. That's their problem.

If I operated that day care, I would be happy to be rid of that woman. She seems like a trouble maker.

 

[disykat]

I agree that the gal is being a trouble maker. I do get that there could be mobility issues at some point though, so I'm not 100% against the argument. That said, my oldest son's first preschool teacher was the heaviest person I've ever met and she was great! At first my son was honestly a bit confused by her size, but I think it was good for him to see that people come in ALL shapes and sizes.

 

[indimom]

Funny, she struggled with her weight for medical reasons. Had to take years to balance meds and get it under control. She couldn't control it on her own.
Guess it never occurred to her that some of those unhealthy fat people she is judging could be in the same place she was?
I guess she wouldn't have been a good role model to children some 50 years ago, before synthroid, since she wouldn't have been able to control her own weight?? What a joke.

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

Like I said previously I missed the part that said she had a tyrod issue so if I was harsh I apologize

 

[Klayfish]

The fat hating author "writes about enjoying having a slim figure and wearing tight-fitting clothes". Yeah. She has some mental issues. Enjoys wearing tight clothes to the point where she is disgusted by others that don't or can't.

She says: "Rolls of fat are not attractive — I shouldn’t be scared to say that. Research has proven that, in many ways, being obese is as unhealthy as smoking. It causes cancer, heart disease and diabetes and can impede fertility."

I can't stand fat haters that pretend to be worried about the health of overweight people. They don't really care. They are just truly turned off by people that aren't as skinny as them. Shrug. That's their problem.

If I operated that day care, I would be happy to be rid of that woman. She seems like a trouble maker.

Total nonsense. How do you know that the "fat haters" as you call them don't really care?? How about all of the personal trainers and others who work tirelessly to try to help combat the epidemic that is obesity. And yes, obesity is a horrible epidemic in this country, and yes, it's extraordinarily unhealthy. What's wrong with comparing the health effects to smoking? They're both very bad. Whether it "disgusts" a person is subjective, but to say that people who are turned off by others who aren't as skinny as them and they just "don't care" is silly. I'm not overweight, I'm very fit, and I very much care...especially about kids. It makes me incredibly sad when I see overweight kids, and very often the parents are very overweight as well. It's not fat shaming, it's not disgust, it's just sad. I don't fully agree with the choices the person in the article made, but at the same time, understand about not wanting her child to learn bad eating habits (though not sure that would have happened in the daycare...hence why I don't fully agree with her).

And as for the hypothyroidism thing, I think too many use it as an excuse. Yes, it causes metabolism issues. DW has hypothyroidism pretty bad, she's on very high doses of medication for it. But even with it, excess calorie intake causes notable obesity, not hypothyroidism. Even with the disease, it's not that hard to stay reasonably fit.

 

[Chocolate Cake]

Even with the disease, it's not that hard to stay reasonably fit.

And that sums up how you feel about overweight people. "Even with the disease, it's not that hard....."

How do you know what is difficult for total strangers? You know how your wife deals with it. That is all. You have no idea how other people deal with hypothyroidism physically or mentally.

Your "total nonsense, I care about the health of strangers" farce is disproven. You judge strangers for being fat. After all, it's "not that hard to stay reasonably fit."

 

[Planogirl]

I have never understood the notion of fat acceptance. I agree that being overweight is generally unhealthy but why is that anyone else's business? It's up to each individual to decide how to deal with it or even if to deal with it. People are simply people and their size shouldn't matter in most instances.

 

[Klayfish]

And that sums up how you feel about overweight people. "Even with the disease, it's not that hard....."

How do you know what is difficult for total strangers? You know how your wife deals with it. That is all. You have no idea how other people deal with hypothyroidism physically or mentally.

Your "total nonsense, I care about the health of strangers" farce is disproven. You judge strangers for being fat. After all, it's "not that hard to stay reasonably fit."

Wow, I'm impressed with your ability to read into things and rush to judgment. You're right, I don't know how other people deal with hypothyroidism. However, physically speaking it isn't that hard to stay reasonably fit with hypothyroidism. Doesn't matter if it's my wife or anyone else. It simply isn't. To take that and leap into saying that a person doesn't care about someone's well being is quite the stretch. You clearly seem to have a lot of anger about this whole thing. If saying I think it's sad that so many people, especially kids, are so overweight is "judging", then I guess I'm guilty. But it's got nothing to do with "shaming" or anything like that. It's simply a shame.

 

[PollyannaMom]

If she reeeealy thought the workers would be unable to take care of her child in an emergency, she certainly had the right to choose another place. (The essay defending that choice, however, was unnecessary and in very poor taste!!)

I think her concerns about her child just being around overweight people are silly, though! Sure, I want my child to see great examples, but I also use other examples as opportunities to teach compassion, or discuss choices, or point out that we don't know everything about someone.

(ETA - And I agree that a person could be a good example even if they struggle with weight - either of persistence in that struggle or just in many other areas.)

 

[Hikergirl]

Anyone else picture her driving the kid to daycare with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth and the windows rolled up?

What happens if this woman gains her weight back? What about her relatives are any overweight, will she not let her child be near them?
I don't have any issues with parents wanting their kids surrounded by good role models, but to think because someone is overweight that they can't be? She is a whack-job, and unfortunately is on her way to raising another one.

 

[Chocolate Cake]

. However, physically speaking it isn't that hard to stay reasonably fit with hypothyroidism. Doesn't matter if it's my wife or anyone else. It simply isn't.

How do you know what is and is not difficult for strangers?

You clearly seem to have a lot of anger about this whole thing.

I have no anger. None. I am having a discussion on a discussion board. Nothing more.

 

[tzolkin]

And as for the hypothyroidism thing, I think too many use it as an excuse. Yes, it causes metabolism issues. DW has hypothyroidism pretty bad, she's on very high doses of medication for it. But even with it, excess calorie intake causes notable obesity, not hypothyroidism. Even with the disease, it's not that hard to stay reasonably fit.

And that sums up how you feel about overweight people. "Even with the disease, it's not that hard....."

How do you know what is difficult for total strangers? You know how your wife deals with it. That is all. You have no idea how other people deal with hypothyroidism physically or mentally.

Sorry, Klayfish, but I really have to go with Chocolate Cake on this one.

If I recall correctly from your recent posts, your wife is incredibly strict with her diet (must bring food with her because even "healthy" options on a menu are not what she considers appropriate) and exercises a ton (isn't she a body builder or something?). That coupled with the fact that you say she's on high doses of thyroid medication, and you really have the audacity to say "it's not that hard"?!

I actually agree with you about not letting it be an excuse (my entire family has thyroid and other endocrine issues) and that it's important to be active and maintain a healthy weight. But it's really unfair for you to totally dismiss all the effort both your wife and others are putting forth as they struggle with weight issues.

 

[North of Mouse]

In the same posts as people decrying what they call 'fat shaming', they are totally derisive of what they call 'skinny'!! Who wants to be skinny?? Sometimes just as unhealthy as being obese! It's actually being a 'healthy weight' for your height and age - not skinny or fat!

Also, way too many people use the excuse of thyroid issues for their large weight gains. Read up on this! In majority of cases, there are mild (maybe 5-15 lbs) weight gains that take extra effort to control - not an excuse for obesity! I also asked my Dr. about this, and there are a 'very' few people that have other issues that make controlling weight harder.

It's just taking in more calories than our body can burn. It has to be a way of life. I 'live' my diet and never deprive myself of any food, just moderation and portion control. Some health issues we 'can't' control, but the majority of the big ones are controlled by keeping a healthy weight.

 

[Klayfish]

Sorry, Klayfish, but I really have to go with Chocolate Cake on this one.

If I recall correctly from your recent posts, your wife is incredibly strict with her diet (must bring food with her because even "healthy" options on a menu are not what she considers appropriate) and exercises a ton (isn't she a body builder or something?). That coupled with the fact that you say she's on high doses of thyroid medication, and you really have the audacity to say "it's not that hard"?!

I actually agree with you about not letting it be an excuse (my entire family has thyroid and other endocrine issues) and that it's important to be active and maintain a healthy weight. But it's really unfair for you to totally dismiss all the effort both your wife and others are putting forth as they struggle with weight issues.

Sure, I understand what you're saying, but here's the thing. Where in any of my posts did I say or even imply that someone should go to the extremes that DW does? Also, where did I "totally dismiss" anyone struggling with weight issues (including DW)? In fact, I made a point to say "reasonably fit", not "extreme fitness". Yes, DW goes to extreme lengths, because she wants to. She loves bodybuilding and that's a passion for her. And trust me, believe me, I never would dismiss the struggles she has and the hard work she puts in. I watch her every single day and it's still jaw dropping to me. I can't tell you how much I admire her and look up to her for what she does. But again, she takes it to a level that very few do. Let me be clear...DW is on the very, very far end of the bell curve, and I would not expect anyone else should do that. However, my point is that even with thyroid issues, it's not (insert your word of choice here...hard, impossible, incredibly difficult, etc...) to be "reasonably healthy". In other words, just my opinion, having hypothyroidism isn't an excuse to be very obese. Does hypothyroidism make things more difficult? Without question. Is it a real struggle people have? Absolutely. Not sure how else to say it. Not dismissing it, not minimizing it, not doubting it's a challenge for many. But anyone...even with hypothyroidism, who wants to be reasonably healthy, absolutely can without having to go to extremes. That's all I'm saying. Guess you can argue what "reasonably" means, but I think...hope...you get my point.

EDIT: I probably should add that before DW went to the lengths that she does now (it sort of became a snowball effect once she started), she was doing things far less extreme...just eating a more normal healthy diet, basic exercise stuff (once a week classes at the YMCA), going for walks, etc... That kept her "reasonably" fit. What she does now hasn't always been her way of life...in fact she was quite overweight as a teenager.

 

[Klayfish]

In the same posts as people decrying what they call 'fat shaming', they are totally derisive of what they call 'skinny'!! Who wants to be skinny?? Sometimes just as unhealthy as being obese! It's actually being a 'healthy weight' for your height and age - not skinny or fat!

Also, way too many people use the excuse of thyroid issues for their large weight gains. Read up on this! In majority of cases, there are mild (maybe 5-15 lbs) weight gains that take extra effort to control - not an excuse for obesity! I also asked my Dr. about this, and there are a 'very' few people that have other issues that make controlling weight harder.

It's just taking in more calories than our body can burn. It has to be a way of life. I 'live' my diet and never deprive myself of any food, just moderation and portion control. Some health issues we 'can't' control, but the majority of the big ones are controlled by keeping a healthy weight.

Amen!

 

[tzolkin]

Sure, I understand what you're saying, but here's the thing. Where in any of my posts did I say or even imply that someone should go to the extremes that DW does? Also, where did I "totally dismiss" anyone struggling with weight issues (including DW)? In fact, I made a point to say "reasonably fit", not "extreme fitness". Yes, DW goes to extreme lengths, because she wants to. She loves bodybuilding and that's a passion for her. And trust me, believe me, I never would dismiss the struggles she has and the hard work she puts in. I watch her every single day and it's still jaw dropping to me. I can't tell you how much I admire her and look up to her for what she does. But again, she takes it to a level that very few do. Let me be clear...DW is on the very, very far end of the bell curve, and I would not expect anyone else should do that. However, my point is that even with thyroid issues, it's not (insert your word of choice here...hard, impossible, incredibly difficult, etc...) to be "reasonably healthy". In other words, just my opinion, having hypothyroidism isn't an excuse to be very obese. Does hypothyroidism make things more difficult? Without question. Is it a real struggle people have? Absolutely. Not sure how else to say it. Not dismissing it, not minimizing it, not doubting it's a challenge for many. But anyone...even with hypothyroidism, who wants to be reasonably healthy, absolutely can without having to go to extremes. That's all I'm saying. Guess you can argue what "reasonably" means, but I think...hope...you get my point.

EDIT: I probably should add that before DW went to the lengths that she does now (it sort of became a snowball effect once she started), she was doing things far less extreme...just eating a more normal healthy diet, basic exercise stuff (once a week classes at the YMCA), going for walks, etc... That kept her "reasonably" fit. What she does now hasn't always been her way of life...in fact she was quite overweight as a teenager.

I understand what you're saying, but your comments did seem a bit more dismissive in your first post. Like it's just no big deal or doesn't really require any effort. And "reasonably" fit is fairly subjective-- so knowing your fitness level, I had assumed that your criteria were perhaps more thin and toned than what many others would consider "reasonable".

I'm sure I am looking at this from my personal issues over the last few years. But, honestly, it has been fairly difficult for me to be "reasonably" fit. I have been struggling with various endocrine issues and the effects of different medications. I'm certainly not "obese" but I gained 30+lbs within a few months about three years ago and while with great effort I have been able to stop gaining anything it has been nearly impossible for me to lose anything.

I remembered your previous posts because I have similar healthy eating habits (that some consider extreme) and I also exercise for several hours per day (I never exercised at all before). To me, that's a decent amount of effort to see absolutely no results. I probably do still fall into the "reasonably" fit category, but if I were significantly heavier and putting in all this effort with no change, I would be even more frustrated with comments like "it's not that hard to lose weight".

All of my siblings are literally more than twice my size. Two don't seem overly concerned by my one sister has put forth a lot of effort since she was a teenager to try to maintain a "reasonable" weight. I know that she eats almost nothing and exercises at least two hours per day. She has been obsessed with it because she has also been struggling with infertility for years and was convinced that the weight may be part of the issue.

Sure, there are plenty of people for whom cutting back a bit on calories and exercising a few times a week would make a big difference in their appearance and overall health. But for some, being "reasonably" fit requires tremendous effort (and they still are unable to achieve the goal)