Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggghhhh!

[kldmom2000]

2 years ago we took our girls ages 4 and 2 to Disney for the first time. It was a bad decision to go then as my then 4 yr old DD was TERRIFIED to death of the characters-more specifically ALL characters other than princesses. She was also afraid to ride any "indoor" rides (about 90% of the rides in Disney!!! So-there was no Small World, Peter Pan, Buzz Lightyear, etc.. for us ) My then 2 yr old DD loved everything, so we'd take turns taking her to character meals and on the rides she wanted to do..... my then 4 yr old was constantly on-edge trying to dodge characters and if she caught sight of one (even in a parade!!!), would go NUTS (There are no words to describe this irrational freak-out session she does-it happens around dogs, Santa, etc... too. You really don't want to witness it!

DD's are now 6 and the other is turning 4 on our trip. We thought we were all set for this trip-older DD now 6 was supposedly over her character fear. She sat on the Easter Bunny's lap in April.... no fear about it.... we took her to an amusement park 2 weeks ago and she was LOVING all the big rides (she did the upside down roller coasters, etc) I was getting very excited about our upcoming trip now!!!

NOW she tells me that she doesn't want to see PLUTO. She is insanely afraid of PLUTO for some reason!?!?!? We have 2 character meals booked where Pluto will be present (Garden Grill and the one I was really excited about-LTT during MNSSHP!!!) When I told her that we have 2 dinners booked with Pluto there, she just went ballistic. I know if I keep them and I take her, I've seen the crazy tantrum she will inevitably throw The trip is 35 days away. Chances of getting any other NON-PLUTO ADR's during the same time frame are impossible I had my hopes up for LTT for the character interaction during MNSSHP since she was supposedly over her insane fear.....I have no idea what to do. I obviously will have to cancel so as to not upset any other diners while she goes crazy.... so much for the free DDP!!

Off to rearrange my entire itinerary that I had planned out over 150 days ago (185 days from arrival!!!)

 

[kldmom2000]

Oh bummer! I just noticed too that PLUTO is at the Cape May character breakfast as well-this is a must-do favorite meal for DH and I every time we go and I had to take our younger DD solo last time... so that's 3 out of 5 meals I have to cancel

I'm starting to dislike Pluto myself

 

[Not so Dumbo]

Is there any way that you could ask the waitress at the CMs to tell Pluto not to come over to your table? Would that be okay if he was in the same room but not by her?

 

[kldmom2000]

Is there any way that you could ask the waitress at the CMs to tell Pluto not to come over to your table? Would that be okay if he was in the same room but not by her?

Thanks for the suggestion, but I already tried to explain to her that we would do that and she doesn't want to "see" him at all-now she says she is afraid of Goofy too... I give up. I swear I'm ready to cancel the trip and be out the $800 in airfare, $100 deposit, and $150 in MNSSHP tix because I'm just soooooooooooooooooooooooooo aggravated now....

 

[Not so Dumbo]

That sound like it would aggravate me too. Your other DD would be heartbroken if you cancelled your trip because of her sister's fear. Have you explained to her that they aren't real and that it's just a costume with a person inside. I know that spoils the "magic" but if it helps it's worth it.

We explained that to our kids before we went and they were fine with them. I don't think it really bothered them to know that it was just a person in a costume either. They still had a lot of fun playing with them.

 

[rt2dz]

In addition to having the CM ask for Pluto to avoid your table, ask to be seated (and show up early for your ADRs and expect to wait later) where your daughter can have her back to the rest of the room. That's not too hard to do at LTT. GG will be a bit harder to that. Pluto, like Chip-n-Dale is a character meal slut, but there are meals out there without him (1900 Park Fair, breakfast isn't all princesses) that you could do.

I don't get it though, Pluto is my favorite.

 

[kldmom2000]

Thanks for the idea.... sadly, I did explain to them about the characters being people dressed up in costumes like you wear at Halloween...I hated having to do it, but I did it 2 yrs ago and I keep emphasizing it. I used to be a CM at a Disney Store and when we had character visits, I would hear people asking ME to tell their kids that the costumes had people in them, but I was a representative for Disney and had to abide by the whole "no-it's the real character" thing

I really swear that she kept telling me that she wanted to go so badly this year and when I originally made the ADR's, I kept asking her and asking her if she was going to be fine... the answer was always that she wasn't afraid anymore.... then she was watching one of the planning DVD's again today and that's when she told me she's afraid of Pluto (and now Goofy again too)....

I'm really torn about what to do. If I cancel the ADR's now, I lose out on getting them back for certain since they are at peak dinner times and esp. the LTT one during MNHSSHP @ 5:30..... I'm going over and over the restaurants again trying to come up w/ a game plan and so far everything is booked.....

On the bright side, my younger DD's birthday dinner @ 1900 Park Fare is safe as she is not afraid of Cinderella, Suzy, Perla, and the fairy godmother

I do thank you for all of your suggestions!!! Thank you for reading my vent and offering ideas

 

[kldmom2000]

In addition to having the CM ask for Pluto to avoid your table, ask to be seated (and show up early for your ADRs and expect to wait later) where your daughter can have her back to the rest of the room. That's not too hard to do at LTT. GG will be a bit harder to that. Pluto, like Chip-n-Dale is a character meal slut, but there are meals out there without him (1900 Park Fair, breakfast isn't all princesses) that you could do.

I don't get it though, Pluto is my favorite.

LOL on "Character meal slut!" Never thought of it that way, but how true!!!

 

[ilovejack02]

What about going to rent some movies with goofy and pluto in them and yall watching them together? Also let her go with you and pick out a few books with the two guys in it.. stickers, color books a plush etc... anything to help her warm up to them. I would just go ahead and tell her about people being in the suits but letting her know not to tell sister. Kids can be sooo frustrating sometimes lol. I thought it would get better as they get older, but the temper tantrum my 17 yr old threw last night shows me that it doesnt

 

[brymolmom]

I think it's up to you what you do...but I can tell you my experience with toddler who HATES characters (and I have no doubt will hate them on our upcoming trip). I pretty much ignore it. As much as possible, that is, around the crying.

My daughter is a DRAMA queen, so I know that she is not really shaking with fear when the characters are there, she just doesn't like them and is trying to get her way.

So, last year with Free Dining, we proceeded to character meals and let her sit on our lap and then by the last couple, she didn't cry - although she wouldn't touch/hug them either and definitely didn't smile for the pictures.

Her big brother likes the characters and so do dh and I so I'm not going to let her drama dictate our lives. And if she starts having too bad a tantrum...we'll just remove her from the restaurant like we would when she has any of her drama-driven tantrums.

To me- it would depend on your feeling on whether she is truly afraid (especially if you think she really understands the costume thing) - or if she's just making a fuss for a lesser reason.

If she's truly afraid - I would let the other child go and have fun - she'll probably change her mind after she hears how fun it was. Oh yeah - and I wouldn't bring her to something equally as fun...

I'd tell her if she isn't really afraid that we are going, and will ask Pluto/Goofy not to come to the table, but we expect you to act politely with everyone at the restaurant, and if not (insert appropriate measure here: remove from restaurant, no dessert, no going to the next one...).

Just my opinion having lived with one who also puts up a stink!

 

[Beachclubmama]

Hi KLD,
I know seeing the Characters in the movies is not the same, but maybe you can rent movies with the characters your dd is afraid of. That is how I got my youngest ds and dd to not fear the characters. I also purchased stuffed animals of the characters that they were afraid of. We took it very slow. Once they watched the movie we would give them one stuffed animal and then we would color pictures and we made scrapbook pages with stickers and all sorts of stuff. I hope this helps.
Shannah

 

[Lisa_Belle]

If she's seated with her back to the room, maybe someone can take her to the bathroom (or just out for a sec) while Pluto and/or Goofy make their rounds. If that's not possible, I would just cancel the meal or have you and your DH take turns eating someplace else with this DD and letting the other one enjoy the magic.

 

[belleandthebeast]

Just wanted to give you a big . Children can be so unpredictable sometimes. Good luck!

 

[rt2dz]

LOL on "Character meal slut!" Never thought of it that way, but how true!!!

Sorry, it comes from having all boys. You just don't have as many meal choices as you do with girls. I really do wish that WDW would pay more attention to boys, as much as they do with girls.

I wouldn't cancel the trip, just try & figure out a way around it. Ohana's for breakfast, not dinner just has Lilo & stitch. There is also Crystal Palace. Or try Tony's (no characters, but still accomplishes the meal at a special event thing).

 

[badblackpug]

Maybe if you just take the "firm" approach. As others have suggested, ask at the beginning of the meal if Pluto and Goofy can "skip" your table. Your 4 y/o can get up to visit them. Explain to your 6 y/o, she is old enough to understand, that Pluto and Goofy will be at the restaurant. They will not come to your table. Tell her if she does not want to see them, she may put her head down on the table quietly until they are gone, but she may not "act up" in any way, and then assign an appropriate consequence for "acting up."
I wouldn't change everyone's plans to suit her. You wouldn't tell your 4 y/o she couldn't ride "dumbo" because her sister is afraid, and I wouldn't deprive the family of an experience that they are looking forward to, because 1 person disagrees. Sooner or later she has to learn to just "put up" with certain things.

 

[jnordan]

OK, this may sound cruel, but . . . Your daughter is 6, not 2. And from what you've described, this does not sound like a genuine fear, but a total power struggle. I understand this because my 4 year old is tough in this same regard.

Again, I wouldn't suggest doing this with a child much younger, but with a 6 year old, maybe it's appropriate (since I don't have a 6 year old yet, I guess I don't really know -- you be the judge).

Very nicely and lovingly tell your daughter what you have planned, that it is meant to be special, that the rest of you are very much looking forward to the experiences and to having a good time. Then, give her the option of going with you, or staying in the hotel room with a disney babysitter while you all go out and enjoy the fun. It's a lot cheaper than cancelling the trip, and it gives her an out, but does not ruin the joy for the rest of you. I bet you anything that after the first dinner she misses, she'll get over her fear.

 

[Tinker53]

Thanks for the idea.... sadly, I did explain to them about the characters being people dressed up in costumes like you wear at Halloween...I hated having to do it, but I did it 2 yrs ago and I keep emphasizing it. I used to be a CM at a Disney Store and when we had character visits, I would hear people asking ME to tell their kids that the costumes had people in them, but I was a representative for Disney and had to abide by the whole "no-it's the real character" thing

I really swear that she kept telling me that she wanted to go so badly this year and when I originally made the ADR's, I kept asking her and asking her if she was going to be fine... the answer was always that she wasn't afraid anymore.... then she was watching one of the planning DVD's again today and that's when she told me she's afraid of Pluto (and now Goofy again too)....

I'm really torn about what to do. If I cancel the ADR's now, I lose out on getting them back for certain since they are at peak dinner times and esp. the LTT one during MNHSSHP @ 5:30..... I'm going over and over the restaurants again trying to come up w/ a game plan and so far everything is booked.....

On the bright side, my younger DD's birthday dinner @ 1900 Park Fare is safe as she is not afraid of Cinderella, Suzy, Perla, and the fairy godmother

I do thank you for all of your suggestions!!! Thank you for reading my vent and offering ideas

You said in your first post it happens around Dog also and Pluto and Goofy are both dogs. Maybe it all has to do with Dogs if you can get her over that fear of dogs, or tell they are not really dogs this might help.

I wish you all the luck in the world. Hope it all works out for you. I have 36 days before we leave, So we will be there at about the same time.

I am sending you some pixi dust

 

[wewantmore]

I have to agree with the 'tough love' approach.

Kayla is 6 and in no way would this attitude fly. I too think that it's a 'power' thing. I'm betting there might be some jealousy about your other DD's birthday being AT Disney.

And well the DOG aspect could be the cause.

Either way, I hope you ALL have a good time.

Michelle

 

[ADisneyQueen]

I think your DD needs to feel that she is in control of the situation. I know this may sound stupid, but would she feel comfortable making a small sign that says Pluto and Goofy do not come to this table (I'm assuming she can write letters with your help)? She could take it to the meal and hold on to it . We have used earmuffs and baby blankets on rides when our oldest DD had just turned 5 and was either afraid of something (hide under the blanket next to mom) or didn't like the sounds (wear the earmuffs). We have photos of her wearing the earmuffs at the parade beacuse it was loud and it was 78 degrees! I know she looked silly, but we all have a good laugh about it now when looking at our albums.
I hope you can find a solution!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I agree with a tough love approach. I would NOT change my plans at all.

My 6yo even when she was 4...for her...if it were genuine fear, she is upset and clingy. If it were something she just preferred not to do--it was more temper tantrum-y.

Even now--when she cries, we can tell if it is an act or the real thing (sad, upset, fearful).

So I would do a tough love approach. Offer an alternative that doesn't require you to change your plans...and if she acts out inapprorpiately, then have a consequence.

As I tell my girls, the naughty corner travels with us. I can find one anywhere at anytime. And do they get upset when we use it near the elevator to the monorail at the contemporary--but by golly, they don't act up again.

I can find some truth to the dog fear with Pluto and Goofy--but I am leary of the true fear or if she has decided that b/c they are dogs she chooses not to associate with them. The language she is using suggests to me that she is using hte latter. I say this only b/c I have a 6yo who sometimes does this. She likes to be in control of a situation. Lately with food--if it isn't something she likes...but for some strange reason she tries it....she then decides that she stilll doesn't like the food, but will eat it this way. It's like--okay, whatever. God love her.


Good luck, but I would seriously reconsider leaving everything as is so that your daughter doesn't learn that she can get her way no matter what.

Enjoy your trip!