Are you talking to your children about the possibility of war?

[The LK 4]

I am a little bit upset with my MIL right now. She is watching my children today after school while I am at work, and she just told me she has been talking with them about the possible upcoming war. I don't think she should have done this because I don't feel that they need to get all worked up about it. If something would happen, then yes I would want to discuss it with them. However, they don't really have any concept of what this all means. Am I wrong for wanting to protect them from all of this? By that, I don't mean that I want to shelter them from everything that is going on, but they are only children and can only stay innocent for so long.
Anyone else having similar feelings? It is such a sad time in the world right now.

 

[tiggerlover]

I can understand how you feel. I am not talking to my son about this yet. I will wait until when and if something happens. However, we are in a military community and kids do hear things, especially since all the children in DS's school have parents in the military. The school even has begun talking to the students about deployments since so many moms and dads are deployed.

 

[dandave]

I think it should be up to the parents to talk with their children. I would be upset if a relative took it upon themselves to have that talk for me. Yes, I have talked with mine to explain that we are probably going to war. They don't seem worried, thank goodness. I just wanted them to hear it from me.

 

[JESW]

DS is 8 and I have spoken to him just a bit about it. We don't watch the news here at home (I watch it after the kids go to bed or I get it all on-line) but I don't know what the older kids will be saying on the bus or at school. I want him to know that something may happen but I also want him to know that it won't happen here and he is safe. (I know we can no longer say that, but I'm not laying that on my young son)

I let him watch a little bit of the 9/11/01 coverage just so that he would know. Very hard things to tell your children about.

I would have been upset if my MIL told my kids as I think that would be my and DH's job....altho DH doesn't talk about any of that so it's MY job. I don't believe that the kids need to know a lot. Too hard for them. My neighbor/friend has a DD10 who has had trouble sleeping ever since they found Elizabeth Smart. She now thinks someone is going to come after her in their house.

Jill

 

[Robinrs]

Not mentioning it until I have to. My son has been through enough lately, he hardly needs to deal with this now.

 

[Serena]

The only reason I think it would be okay for her to talk to your children is if they brought the subject up to her. Otherwise, she shouldn't have said anything.

I just answer the questions as they are asked. I try not to watch the news at night, or if I do I watch it in my room.
Life goes on.

 

[Zurg]

I talked to them. They are going to hear stuff and I want them to hear from me first.

I have reservations about this war and I shared them and I shared why the president thinks it is important. I talked about how we are free to disagree. I told them that I trust we as a nation will do every thing we can to protect the innocent, even in a war.

We talked about the difference between supporting the politics or not vs supporting the men and women fighting. I have no reservations about them. The people who love our country so much they are willing to go fight deserve our greates respect and admiration.

I also told them that I think this is a topic for moms & dad to talk with their kids about so if their friends are talking about it, don't join in. Don't go talking with the kids who's parents haven't talked to them about it.

They wanted to know why Saddam's wife lets him do the stuff he does. LOL

 

[The LK 4]

Originally posted by Zurg

They wanted to know why Saddam's wife lets him do the stuff he does. LOL

VERY intelligent children you have!

 

[JohnTBap]

Mothers-in-law - doncha love em?

I watched the address last night and DD 8 was in the room and asked me to turn it off. I complied. She wanted to talk a little and I told her that we just have to be brave. (You're right - couldn't think of anything better.)

 

[RitaZ.]

DS #1 (11 y.o.) watched part of the address with us. The subject was also discussed during his Social Studies class today. As for my 7 y.o. and 5 y.o., we haven't said anything yet. We are trying to keep things as normal as possible for our kids. I think keeping the tv off is a good idea, I only watch Cosby re-runs.

One of the things that I'm really concerned about is DS's upcoming Orlando trip (5th grade), it's for 3 days. We paid for the trip last month, but who knows what's going to happen now. The trip is scheduled for the end of May. I just don't know...

 

[Buckalew]

Yes, we have/are discussing it.

 

[shortbun]

My DS is hearing about the possibility of war from his
classmates SO even though I'd rather he stay innocent
to this issue, we have explained Saddam, the plight of
the Iraqi citizens(from both sides) and the support we
feel in our household for our military even though we don't
believe our president has made the right choice. I am
not allowing him to watch the news, the speaches, the
posturing - all to complicated for him to understand. We
have discussed who will bring him home from school IF
he needs to come home early due to an electrical problem,
fire or other emergency. This winter, we prepared our
household with water(which we continuously drink/use and
replace), canned goods and alternative power and heat
sources - "in case of an emergency like flood, other bad
weather". He knows we are prepared for almost anything
and should feel that he is safe. We are playing chess
instead of listening to the news. It's much healthier for
the brain. The news makes me want to scream.
I'm a much better loser at chess
mimi

 

[DiznEeyore]

My ds is 10. When 9/11 happened, he was being homeschooled and was home with me when dh called and told me to turn on the TV. He was really badly affected by what he saw (and we kept it to a minimum).

He's now in a private Christian school, and they have been praying about the coming war as well as reading kids' news magazines about it. They also had an active-duty Marine come in and speak to the kids during Chapel one Friday (he was home from Afghanistan and on his way to the Persian Gulf). That made a *huge* impact on him. He now has an enormous respect and a level of understanding for what our soldiers are working so hard for.

I still was unsure how he'd take the latest developments, but on the way to school this morning, the news of course played a few excerpts of the President's message. He piped up from the back seat, "I hope we go in and take care of that Saddam INSANE! Our soldiers are gonna do it!"

He's not all hyped up and pro-war, but he seems to have a peace about it that he didn't have before. I'm so thankful for the positive direction he's received from the school. And of course we pray together for our President and our soldiers every night.

 

[iluvorlando]

Dh and I had to say something to dd, 8. She knows we are going to war and didn't know why. So we told her why. that's it. We will answer questions but we aren't going to initate the converstation about it.

 

[gina2000]

Yes, we've discussed it. Mostly from the context of why we think Saddam Hussein needs to be removed from power not the graphic portrayal of war. We've also discussed the WTC and bin Laden with him though when 9/11 occurred we kept all tvs off while he was awake. Too graphic.

 

[cgcw]

We haven't yet. DS3 is too young to understand anything so we'll avoid talking in front of him. DS8 will get scared and there is no reason to do that before it's necessary.

Although.....we did get a letter from the school today saying that in the event of an "emergency" they will have the school on lockdown and do not want parents to come and get their children unless they are called. The even stated that if need be, they will have the police involved to keep order and control because their utmost concern is for the children. While I don't know if I'd actually be comfortable because I'd probably want my child with me, I know this makes sense. I just hope they would have needed supplies -- I will be checking into that tomorrow.

In the meantime, I did tell DS8 that if something were to happen really bad (like 9/11) his school would keep him there until it was okay for the parents to come and get him. Then I made light of it -- woohoo -- a sleepover with Mrs. teacher. Just what every kid wants to do...NOT!

 

[TimeforMe]

Yes, we had to, but my kids are 13 and 14. DS' overnight trip to Boston was canceled--they sent a letter home last week, a classmate of his lost her dad in the WTC (we live very close to NYC) and he is very recently interested in history, wars, etc. so we kind of tried to look at it from that point of view. DD is a freshman and, of course, they talk about it in school. I've actually learned from both of them. If they were younger, though, I'd probably not unless absolutely necessary. So far they're OK.

 

[AirForceRocks]

Yes, we've talked to both of our kids (DD 9, DS 6) about the war, and we've tried to answer any questions they might have about what will happen, why we are going to war, and how it will affect them.

Living in DC, they are very cognizant of the uptick in security, and 9/11 is still very fresh in their minds. To not talk to them about it would have raised more concerns than dealing with the situation in an open way.

 

[Nancy]

We have discussed it, but my girls are older. I would be upset if my MIL told my kids anything serious without asking me first.

My 13 yr old and myself are big worry warts. I've been trying to keep her calm by telling her we are fine here, and there are no nukes in Iraq. She calls me at work when she got home from school and said "Mom you've been lying to me all this time!" NOw I'm clueless as to what I've lied about. Seems her teacher was discussing the war today and talking about Iraq having nuclear weapons. So I had to do damage control over the phone.

We watch the news together and I try to answer their questions.
My kids were affected ny 9/11...my BIL and his wife live close to the Trade Center. They know that many people that worked for the same company as my In laws died that day and that we were lucky because Aunt Marilyn didn't go to work that day and their Uncle had his office moved to Brooklyn.

When the war starts I'll hopefully be able to aleve their concerns.

 

[CourtasanSatine]

My mom knowns I watch coverage(but then I'm a journalism major) I do ask some questions and I'm keeping a open mind right now(saving the debates for class)