Are “good manners” a thing of the past?

[mom2rtk]

Are you seriously implying that the younger generation have less morals ? Wow. What a huge horrible blanket statement.

Unlike this one?

I usually find it’s the boomers that are the rudest and most entitled age group.

ETA: Looks like pea-n-me beat me to it!

 

[China Expat]

Yes, a thing of the past.

 

[CdnCarrie]

Unlike this one?

Yes I already acknowledged that.
It was actually done more tongue in cheek.

ETA it doesn’t anger you that the OP and other posters are implying due to their age your children have no manners and you’re a bad parent? It does anger me greatly.

 

[shh]

So why are the older people that grew up in this “village” setting such a bad example these days?

And limited face to face? Why are you hiding you kids at home?
Mine are in school. Sports and work. Lots of face to face time. Besides the years of being in daycare with 120 kids all summer long.

yep...it's every demographic - just a changed world.

 

[disneyseniors]

I own a retail store and I deal with a lot of young customers. 2008 till about 5 years ago I did notice a lack of manners with the younger kids. Over the last few years I have also noticed that the high school kids that come into my store are polite about 90% of the time. I think it's better now that it was. The only problem I see is some people are making it harder to be polite. Last year at WDW as we walked into a store, I let my wife and kids in and 2 ladies in their mid 30's were right behind my family so as a gentleman I held the door for them. One of them snapped at me saying " I don't need no man holding the door for me" So I stepped inside the store and let the door close behind me. I didn't comment back because that would have just furthered their agenda. I did laugh a little bit lol.

Something like that happened to me last week.
I was leaving a restaurant and saw a young lady about to go in so I held the door for her. She was dressed like a construction worker, and she just glared at me and grabbed the door, and didn't bother to say thank you or anything. I just smiled and shook my head.
I love it when someone is courteous enough to hold a door open for me, and I was a teen in the womens lib age, LOL.
Also I am a born Northerner but moved to Tn. for several years. I noticed that the people there were much more courteous, especially the men who always opened the doors, etc. I don't know if it's regional or not, but just something I noticed. I don't want to start a "regional" thing, but it was just what I noticed over 15 years. I know that all areas of the US have rude and courteous people. FWIW

 

[CdnCarrie]

yep...it's every demographic - just a changed world.

For sure. We don’t have the same values as 1922 - a hundred years ago. Things evolve. Some good - some bad

 

[Disneylover99]

We’ve had this conversation here previously - I get really defensive when people try to label my kids as being lazy, disrespectful and with no morals. And paint me as a bad parent - just because of their ages.

ETA it doesn’t anger you that the OP and other posters are implying due to their age your children have no manners and you’re a bad parent? It does anger me greatly.

Nobody is saying this specifically about your children. Nobody is calling you a bad parent. Don’t take it so personally.

Most posters are making generalizations, just as you did about baby boomers.

 

[CdnCarrie]

Nobody is saying this specifically about your children. Nobody is calling you a bad parent. Don’t take it so personally.

Most posters are making generalizations, just as you did about baby boomers.

Baby boomer comment was made in reaction to original post.
But yes it’s annoying when people paint all one generation as being rude. Lazy. Etc.
it’s quite rude actually.

 

[SandyinMonterey]

Just my observations here and there, I would say kids/teenagers these days seem to be lacking in manners. But will add I've seen some adults act just as bad, if not worse and thought to myself if their parents are like that, what are they teaching their kids? I've told and taught my daughter from a very young age that manners, good manners, are very important. I am not saying she's perfect but I have seen her holding doors open, always saying please and thank you and she helped an elderly women out of the grocery store and into the van that was taking seniors grocery shopping.

 

[mom2rtk]

Baby boomer comment was made in reaction to original post.
But yes it’s annoying when people paint all one generation as being rude. Lazy. Etc.
it’s quite rude actually.

But weren't you painting an entire generation as being one thing or another?

 

[slo]

But it’s okay for an older person to say all young people have no morals? Personally I think thats about the rudest thing anyone can say.
Sorry you had these experiences but my experiences with my son’s baseball is exactly the opposite. Young Gentlemen that were always nice to me. Never played at the caliber your daughter seems to have obtained but the only bad experience I had was with parents not players.
I work daily with college age students and have for 30 years and have never had a bad experience.

I totally didn’t say all young people have no morals.

What experiences did I have? I didn’t mention a single one outside of observances.

And we’re talking about manners not morals - there’s a difference.
You can have really good morals and really crappy manners.

If my post upset you personally in some way, then I apologize.

 

[dreamer17555]

Kids today are direct. This could easily be considered rude. I actually applause this generation for learning to speak up for themselves. And as someone who grew up being told that I was never allowed to speak to my parents in any sort of contradictory manner, it was shocking the first time my DD did it. But the truth is she had good points. I just had to get over my own ego to hear them.

If you are a parent nowadays it’s probably a good idea to look at Tiktok beyond the dances and challenges. There is a lot of political activism going on. There is also a lot of kids sharing openly about trauma in their household in a way that we were taught to keep inside. I was taught to never criticize my parents even when they were completely 100% in the wrong. This generation is going to call out bad behavior. It feels shocking but they aren’t wrong.

There also is a sense of caring less I think in this generation versus my generation which was millennials of caring what everyone thinks of you. Some poster brought up about a child wearing a certain outfit to church. I literally could hear what my daughter would say to that. They went even if they didn’t want to, if someone at church is judging their outfit they’re not being very kind and those people judging are at church for the wrong reason.

My daughter is way less likely at 20 to throw a tantrum over anything than some adults I’ve seen. She is way more likely to constantly apologize to underpaid workers for inconveniencing them in anyway. That being said she will totally call out those in power or those in a position of authority who are abusing that power. Honestly I think the world needs more people doing exactly that.

 

[Disneylover99]

Baby boomer comment was made in reaction to original post.

So you only said it, because the original poster is presumably a baby boomer?

But yes it’s annoying when people paint all one generation as being rude. Lazy. Etc.
it’s quite rude actually.

Most people have clarified they don’t think all of one generation is rude, lazy, etc…. As you mentioned, everyone has their own varied experiences.

 

[dreamer17555]

Speaking of good manners personally I think it’s really bad manners for people to post passive aggressive laughing emojis to mock serious posts but that happens a lot on this board.

 

[CdnCarrie]

I totally didn’t say all young people have no morals.

What experiences did I have? I didn’t mention a single one outside of observances.

And we’re talking about manners not morals - there’s a difference.
You can have really good morals and really crappy manners.

If my post upset you personally in some way, then I apologize.

You did mention experience with kids at work.
I don’t agree with you that manners are on the decline

 

[DisneyOma]

There doesn't seem to be a societal incentive to behave with civility and honor these days - regardless of the origins or who you care to blame. Ever notice, the amazed reactions and "viral" nature of when someone does the "right" thing - its the exception not the rule. Cynical, but there we are. I don't think it means most people are behaving badly, but it does seem most aren't going out of their way to make an effort to help one another either.

I feel like it's the opposite - no one notices when someone posts a nice thing online, but the yelling and fistfights and rudeness caught on camera make the rounds at lightning speed! And I feel some of it is staged/done on purpose for the camera just because of the attention this stuff gets. Same as the "influencers" out there - why are we letting our kids fuel such nonsense?

 

[john7994]

I feel like it's the opposite - no one notices when someone posts a nice thing online, but the yelling and fistfights and rudeness caught on camera make the rounds at lightning speed! And I feel some of it is staged/done on purpose for the camera just because of the attention this stuff gets. Same as the "influencers" out there - why are we letting our kids fuel such nonsense?

Different side of the same coin perhaps?

 

[slo]

You did mention experience with kids at work.
I don’t agree with you that manners are on the decline

And that’s ok - I don’t agree with everyone about everything.

My DD18 does not fit in with the generalization about todays kids, but I don’t take offense because I know how MY kid is. In fact, my DD would agree with almost everyone here in regards to how so many kids are today, and she’s in the thick of it in a high school that has about 3500 kids.

We’ll agree to disagree with this topic, and again, that is ok

 

[ShirikiUtundu]

and who raised the kids that raised the kids?

 

[Travel60]

and who raised the kids that raised the kids?

Dr. Benjamin Spock (oops, just aged myself).