Are “good manners” a thing of the past?

Well as an educator I can tell you kids say things now that they never would have said 30 years ago. I believe social media is partly to blame.

I also believe young parents are different today. I have a niece whose kids have no manners. They don’t say hello, thank you, nothing. They eat like animals. I’m not even kidding. Not all kids are like this but it’s becoming more common in my experience. We attended mass for Easter. My nieces son (he’s 8) decided to attend looking like ace Ventura. Hawaiian shirt, flip flops, hair intentionally sticking up. Making faces all through mass and my niece smiling about it. I found it extremely rude towards my sister( his grandmother) because it was her church and people she knew who saw it. My niece constantly talks about the off the wall things her kids do. Like a badge of honor or trying to show how hard her life is. It’s exhausting. So it’s no wonder with that sort if parenting that kids have no boundaries.

Oh and everything is my *****, my ******. They have to use the correct terms which is fine but they think it’s normal to talk about those things constantly. Nothing is private or modest.
 
I was in a crowded bar not long ago and someone ripped a ripe one. I was on a crowded plane the other day, same thing. At least excuse yourself to the bathroom and do what you need to do.
 
Well as an educator I can tell you kids say things now that they never would have said 30 years ago. I believe social media is partly to blame.
That and TV's influence in general (geeze, I sound like my grandparents now). I remember watching shows like "Home Improvement" and saying "wow", I would never even dream of talking to my parents like that.
 
That and TV's influence in general (geeze, I sound like my grandparents now). I remember watching shows like "Home Improvement" and saying "wow", I would never even dream of talking to my parents like that.
I agree, but with this generation they rarely watch traditional tv. It’s all about YouTube and TikTok.
 

I think that the pandemic has had a huge effect on how people behave. Maybe people just forgot their manners after being isolated for so long. Or maybe they are so tired of being cooped up that they kind of go crazy. I see this more on the road than in person, though.

I only know a handful of kids anymore, but all of them are being taught basic manners like please and thank you. They are also being taught to speak up when someone is hurts them or something isn't right for them, which might be seen as rude in the past.

Finally, in my previous job (workers' comp) there were three things that helped me predict how likely someone was to be rude: 1) being between 50 and 65 years old was a minor predictor (maybe 20% more likely to be rude to me). 2) Making a lot of money was a slightly better predictor (maybe 40%). 3) The biggest predictor of rudeness (about 70%) was being toward the top of the totem pole in their organization, but not actually at the top. They were mostly major power-trippers. One once yelled at me for 20+ minutes for sending him a check that I was legally obligated to send him - and I sent the letter explaining that with the check - because he didn't ask for it. It's tax-free money, man, just enjoy it?

I think that a lot of the people who are able to afford WDW these days are more likely to be in that upper end of the ladder. They are used to getting their way, they are paying a lot, and on vacation, they answer to no one. It's a recipe for their worst behavior. Disney is pricing out a lot of the people who can't afford to be rude in their daily lives, so the ones with worse manners end up there in larger concentrations. If 1% of the people you run into are rude, it might not make much of a difference in your day. If it's 5%, that might be all you remember because they are louder and likely to be more in your face than the people quietly enjoying their day.

Wow, this was much longer than I planned. If you made it this far, congrats! I might be procrastinating on schoolwork right now.
On the point about upper end adults: my neighbor owns a very successful business. He’s one of the biggest horses behinds I’ve ever met. My husband has had words with him recently because we are about to move and don’t care to pretend we like them anymore. My husband works a blue collar job. I know that guy thinks he’s better than us with his big pool, 6 cars, condo on the beach, etc. but his manners say otherwise. He actually twice pitched a big party tent in our yard for graduation parties. Without asking. That’s how entitled he is. I can easily see him acting like a clown at WDW.
 
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So many folks today seem angry, or easily angered. I would not dream of behaving the way I see people behave these days. I even see it in the Kindergartners that I work with. I'm 75 years old, the first of the baby boomers.
 
I don't think good manners are a thing of the past. Harder to find in a sea of rudeness? Sure, but it isn't gone. We are still out there, teaching our kids to do the same.

I think the bad behavior has become more boisterous. They stick out because it is louder and obnoxious. And if anyone is behaving badly, the cell phones come out and record it for the world to see. We remember that more than the polite person that quietly holds the door for us when we walk in to a public space. And when is the last time you saw a video going viral for being polite? Those are few and far between.

No doubt, bad behavior is very prevalent -- but politeness still exists.

FWIW, I live in the midwest.
 
Every generation has said this for pretty much forever.
This is it in a simple, single statement. When we were younger, I'm absolutely certain the older generations said similar things about us. Looking back decades when I was younger, I expect I had many moments of rudeness and disrespect, at least in the eyes of the people I was doing it to. Most teen-agers have always known 'everything' (that's sarcasm, not a blanket statement) - and rarely like being told they don't. I blame it more on hormones and testosterone, and less on failed parenting. And there are just as many 60-70-80-somethings who can be rude and immoral, too.......

But there are good people out there who do have respect. Too often, I think we like to point out the negatives. The positives are definitely there, if you watch for them.
 
Showing others dignity, kindness or respect can still be found. Although Americans seem to fall short when it comes to manners. Is it due to ideology, equality, selfishness, etc? IDK I don't believe it's because parents don't have time to teach children.
 
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I'm at the tail, tail end of the boomers. I think the reason boomers get a bad rap is the era they grew up in. They were told to be seen and not heard, dressed up for church, school, please and thank you were used all the time. Now I'm not speaking for everyone born in that time, but things were very different, and they forget not everyone had the same experience. Now kids see these "influencers" get all sorts of free stuff for doing nothing! Famous people who make demands on the "common" people for free stuff. Limited face-to face interactions with friends, rather through a screen. I honestly believe many people today really can't read faces and determine how a person feels by their expression.
 
Pot, meet kettle. :laughing:
In some ways.
I was more speaking about the “lack of morals” comment.

Whoops I see my quoting was off - sorry for the confusion.
But yes I was more offended by the lack of morals quote.
And yes in my experience the older generation tends to be ruder. But that’s in my experience. I’m not saying they are. I’ve not had a lot of personal experience with young people being rude and I have tend and have volunteered in their activities.

As for my teens they don’t follow any influencers or celebrities.
My oldest is working 2 jobs - more than full time - during his gap year. He’s polite and respectful to everyone except maybe his younger sibling lol.

We’ve had this conversation here previously - I get really defensive when people try to label my kids as being lazy, disrespectful and with no morals. And paint me as a bad parent - just because of their ages.
 
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There doesn't seem to be a societal incentive to behave with civility and honor these days - regardless of the origins or who you care to blame. Ever notice, the amazed reactions and "viral" nature of when someone does the "right" thing - its the exception not the rule. Cynical, but there we are. I don't think it means most people are behaving badly, but it does seem most aren't going out of their way to make an effort to help one another either.
Ding. Ding. Ding. This nails it, imo. The "village" - aka Society values- have always heavily shaped the importance of manners. People who acted rudely or inappropriately would feel embarrassed or shamed by the majority.

Today, there really isn't much outward acknowledgement, acceptance or approval from others for good or kind behavior. But there are ample rewards for being loud, rude or demanding. Especially in a theme park, restaurant or store: I've seen managers give away the farm to placate a bullying customer who broke the rules, disrupted others or behaved unreasonably, while loyal, quiet customers get squat.

The rewards from treating others with respect or acting in a mature, generous and/or polite way is more intrinsic. For a person raised to value this or who believes it's important, they wouldn't feel right behaving otherwise.

I just wish society valued and respected it more.

(Note: I edited orig post because after thinking a bit, felt it was less about adults vs kids or 1 generation vs another - really more of a societal issue.)
 
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Ding. Ding. Ding. This nails it, imo. The "village" - aka Society values- have always heavily shaped the importance of manners. People who acted rude or inappropriate would feel embarrassed or shamed by the majority. Parents and grandparents cared about how their little ones acted - because they felt it reflected directly on their character: how the child was brought up. That filter is gone.

There is no longer awareness, acceptance or approval from others for good or kind behavior - many parents don't care, the media doesn't value or publicize it and too many folks consider a polite, well behaved person as "wimpy" or they don't even notice.

There are ample rewards for being loud, rude, disgusting, or inappropriate to others.

The only positive reinforcement of treating others with respect or acting in a mature, generous and/or polite way is intrinsic: the behavior supports one's personal integrity and values.
You are articulated it far better
 
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Ding. Ding. Ding. This nails it, imo. The "village" - aka Society values- have always heavily shaped the importance of manners. People who acted rude or inappropriate would feel embarrassed or shamed by the majority. Parents and grandparents cared about how their little ones acted - because they felt it reflected directly on their character: how the child was brought up. That filter is gone.

There is no longer awareness, acceptance or approval from others for good or kind behavior - many parents don't care, the media doesn't value or publicize it and too many folks consider a polite, well behaved person as "wimpy" or they don't even notice.

There are ample rewards for being loud, rude, disgusting, or inappropriate to others.

The only positive reinforcement of treating others with respect or acting in a mature, generous and/or polite way is intrinsic: the behavior supports one's personal integrity and values.
So why are the older people that grew up in this “village” setting such a bad example these days?

And limited face to face? Why are you hiding you kids at home?
Mine are in school. Sports and work. Lots of face to face time. Besides the years of being in daycare with 120 kids all summer long.
 
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Ugghhh…..yes yes and yes

I‘ve been with all ages of kids for a long time.
I used to manage teenagers in retail for 25 years
I’ve coached my DD18’s softball teams for 11 years
I manage a chiropractor’s office where people bring their children in (all ages)

The difference in kids manners from the past to today is shockingly so bad. I can get on my pulpit about this, but I don’t have the time. So many parents need to understand they are doing their kids no favors by allowing this behavior - take charge and raise your kids to have manners, be polite, be respectful of people‘s feelings and property and that everything is not all about them. They may not like you for it when they are young, but they will be grateful for it when they are older.
But it’s okay for an older person to say all young people have no morals? Personally I think thats about the rudest thing anyone can say.
Sorry you had these experiences but my experiences with my son’s baseball is exactly the opposite. Young Gentlemen that were always nice to me. Never played at the caliber your daughter seems to have obtained but the only bad experience I had was with parents not players.
I work daily with college age students and have for 30 years and have never had a bad experience.
 













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