Apology to moderators

[RVGal]

I am all for giving them time and room to grieve.

With that said, I am afraid that if we let the subject drop entirely now, it will be totally ignored or another reason to banish posters and erase their concerns at a later date. We are not trying to push this into the forefront at the moment. We do respect the passing of a friend to many and a moderator of this board. We just want to be sure his passing isn't seized an excuse to make all of this go away.

(I hope that read with the respect and calm tone I typed it with.)

That was very well said and I think we are all mature enough to read the tone. I don't think anyone here means to disrespect the loss of Bob. It is a separate and sad thing that deserves to be focused on as such, not tossed in with other issues IMO.

 

[ChrizJen]

Robin, what you say makes sense to me. But it's like, at this point, I'd almost rather have them come here and say, "Hey guys, you know what? We're not going to tell you what happened. This is how we choose to run our board. And there won't be any comments about it again." Because at least that way, I would thank them for the wonderful times they've given me, pack my bags, and keep on keepin on.

But when someone comes in and tells you you'll receive an answer, you sort of hope you'll get one. I fear everytime I post in one of these threads, but since so many others are gone, I feel like I have to. If one of these posts is what gets me banned, so be it. I'd rather go out letting my opinion be known.

I could not have said this better myself. Excellent post.
Trust me, I won't disillusion myself to believe that this is a democracy here. I know it's a privately run message board, and the powers that be can make any decisions they want to for whatever reasons they want to.

I don't expect that the unrest here the past few days to make a huge difference in how things are decided. I do, however agree that if we sit silently and let it go, then we are giving them an excuse to sweep it all under the rug. I think what some here are saying is that we just don't want this to blow over. We want it to remain fresh in peoples' minds so that there is no choice but to either answer the questions, or make us leave. Either way, they'll be making a statement.

 

[AuntieM03]

I am all for giving them time and room to grieve.

With that said, I am afraid that if we let the subject drop entirely now, it will be totally ignored or another reason to banish posters and erase their concerns at a later date. We are not trying to push this into the forefront at the moment. We do respect the passing of a friend to many and a moderator of this board. We just want to be sure his passing isn't seized an excuse to make all of this go away.

(I hope that read with the respect and calm tone I typed it with.)

That's what I am afraid of also. When would be the appropriate time to bring it up? If we don't mention it for weeks and bring it up I am sure the thought would be that too much time has passed and why are we dredging it back up. Though we don't expect answers right this moment, I think it is better to keep it in the forefront. I am interested in the other side of the story that was alluded to.
I am sorry for the loss and my thoughts are with those grieving.

 

[mickeyboat]

There's very little than can be done to make this right. An explination is necessary but many people, if allowed, will never come back after being treated like this and I can't say I blame them.

Me either, Mare. Things will never be the same. But I could stomach it better if those folks at least had the option to accept or refuse an explanation / apology / offer of reinstatement.

And while I completely understand needing time to grieve, the longer this goes on the worse it will get for me, the more suspicious I will feel, the less comfortable I will feel being here.

 

[mickeysaver]

Peeking my head out from under the blankets....

I see that there are lots of changes happening here on the CB. I see them as a good thing. The Mods are doing a great job and I hope that peace will be fully restored soon. In the interim, please be mindful that even as an adult, your life can be messed with if you do not maintain a certain level of internet safety awareness.

A few months ago, I came to the realization that I had let way too many people have access to way too much of my personal information via the internet. Sadly, even on The DIS, there are/were people that need to get a clue and worry more about their own lives rather than intentionally trying to ruin the lives of the people around them. I had been lulled into a false sense of security because 99.9999% of the people on The DIS are really wonderful people that I would be glad to call friend in real life.

For anyone that is interested....
Life is good. Health is good. Love is good. Work is good.

The DIS is still good too, when enjoyed carefully.

 

[luvmy2sams]

You have summed up my feelings very well. Great post. This is exactly how I feel. Everyone is walking on egg shells and the ones who didn't were banned. Things HAVE settled a bit but handing out tags like Halloween candy also isn't going to fill the void.



Well in a lot of cases the people banned weren't told why, no warnings, no points, nothing. People keep citing the poster who was banned WHILE they were on vacation. What did they do when they weren't even using their computer???

I want an explanation because Alex promised me one. He came here and started a thread saying that they would explain things. Frankly, without that thread I wouldn't have had any clue that any drama was happening. That thread implied that the missing posters were involved in some kind of legal action by The Dis. That was very worrisome to me. Now WMKathy has since clarified those statements but when you hear (from Alex) that now banned posters are being contacted by the Dis corporate lawyers and no one can tell you why, it tends to get people a bit worked up.

I'd also like the webmasters to speak out because this isn't the 1st time I've seen this happen here. People have been banned en mass before and it always seems to reek of cronyism. The teachers pets are safe while committing the same infractions the rebels were banned for.

I hold no ill will toward the WMs or Alex or Pete - I've never gotten any points or warnings. But like others I'm just sad and frustrated. The Dis is one of my favorite places and right now the fun has been sucked out of this place. I have every confidence that things will stabilize but I also don't think the events of the last week should be swept under the rug.

I am all for giving them time and room to grieve.

With that said, I am afraid that if we let the subject drop entirely now, it will be totally ignored or another reason to banish posters and erase their concerns at a later date. We are not trying to push this into the forefront at the moment. We do respect the passing of a friend to many and a moderator of this board. We just want to be sure his passing isn't seized an excuse to make all of this go away.

(I hope that read with the respect and calm tone I typed it with.)

Chiming in her to give a to RadioNate and TurboKitty.

 

[RadioNate]

I am all for giving them time and room to grieve.

With that said, I am afraid that if we let the subject drop entirely now, it will be totally ignored or another reason to banish posters and erase their concerns at a later date. We are not trying to push this into the forefront at the moment. We do respect the passing of a friend to many and a moderator of this board. We just want to be sure his passing isn't seized an excuse to make all of this go away.

(I hope that read with the respect and calm tone I typed it with.)

That's what I am afraid of also. When would be the appropriate time to bring it up? If we don't mention it for weeks and bring it up I am sure the thought would be that too much time has passed and why are we dredging it back up. Though we don't expect answers right this moment, I think it is better to keep it in the forefront. I am interested in the other side of the story that was alluded to.
I am sorry for the loss and my thoughts are with those grieving.

I agree - I AM sorry for those who lost a dear friend this week. And they do need time to grieve. I don't think anyone has forgotten that.

 

[Passions71203]

Hard to be patient when you scroll around bored because many prolific posters are gone..........it just isn't as fun.

But you are still here

 

[Mkrop]

When there seems to be no reason for most of the bans that have happened, that leaves the rest of us to wonder what we may or may not be doing that will get us banned. For that, yes, they do owe us an explanation.

It isn't fair to leave us in the dark if it means that we constantly question if this post will be "the" post that gets us banned.

It isn't fair that the people that were banned weren't given a reason and, yes, that reason is between the DIS and them... but it isn't fair that so many were banned in a seemingly random way with no reason given to anyone. That is my business. That is everyone's business.

ITA Excellent post I feel like every time I post I am holding my breath. I am afraid to joke around, I am afraid to post my opinion. etc. Some people out there really have no clue why they were banned and their emails have been ignored, that is not fair.

Alison, you've made my reply easy. I totally agree with everything you've said (and Kiki and others too.) I haven't "lost" good friends from here. I'm an inconsistent poster at best. But I think the members deserve an answer for 2 reasons. 1) we should know what the rules are, because they appeared to be different than what must of us expect, and 2) we were promised an answer.

Pixiechick, I agree with both of your statements as well. If what the banned did was supposedly so agaisnt DIS policy, then why are so many banned and nonbanned members confused. If they violated a policy, I think the fair thing would have been to issue a warning and some points, this way people could learn from their mistakes and the policy could be reinforced.

Now we all sit here and wonder what the heck the rules are how should we move forward and post without fear. If the policy is so vague that many of us sit and wonder, then the DIS mods should realize that this is an opportunity to reclarify its position. I hope they do.

 

[paigevz]

A few months ago, I came to the realization that I had let way too many people have access to way too much of my personal information via the internet. Sadly, even on The DIS, there are/were people that need to get a clue and worry more about their own lives rather than intentionally trying to ruin the lives of the people around them. I had been lulled into a false sense of security because 99.9999% of the people on The DIS are really wonderful people that I would be glad to call friend in real life.

I agree totally, however, I do not agree that is the reason for what has gone on. Too many people who are no longer here did not engage in any inappropriate behaviors here or elsewhere.

But you are still here

Yeah, but I'm boring compared to a lot of my buddies............

 

[Piglets Mommy]

To be honest, I don't know what is going on with whatever everyone seems to have a problem with, but I will state for the record that the mods and owners should be given a good amount of time to grieve. They've lost a good friend and it will take time for them. The goings on of banning people from posting IMHO pale in comparison to losing a friend. After all, we can still keep up with the lives of those friends banned. The mods/owners can not keep up with Bob anymore. It's time to let go of this agenda for a little while and show some support.

I agree that people should be allowed to grieve BUT allof this started over a week before Bob's sad passing. Posters were banned with no warnings, points, or explanation. Those of us who are left are walking on eggshells. What ARE the rules? What can I and can't I say? People were banned and treads were poofed for talking about cornbread and french fries, yet many posts with adult photos were around for about 1/2 hour today. Last time I checked, there was nothing in the DIS guidelines about not posting about cornbread and fries.

I think we all want an explanation and some guidelines as to what can and cannot be said.

 

[PrincessPAC]

I feel like every time I post I am holding my breath. I am afraid to joke around, I am afraid to post my opinion. etc. Some people out there really have no clue why they were banned and their emails have been ignored, that is not fair.

This is exactly how I feel and why I haven't posted much lately. I feel like a student watching all of her friends getting sent to detention - some for reasons unexplained, afraid to ask the teacher a question for fear of being punished.

This used to be my favorite place to visit during the day (sometimes too much), but now I get an uneasy feeling anytime I come here. The only reason I still stop by is because I do still have some friends who have not been banned (yet) and because I keep hoping that it gets better each day.

I am deeply sorry about Bob's death. The loss of anyone, whether we are close to them or not, has an effect on us whether we realize it or not. I hope those who were close to Bob can find a way to cope with their loss. This is a trying time for them, and I do respect their need for time to grieve.

However, I agree with those who say that by *letting up* on questioning this whole situation, we are allowing it to be swept under the rug. True, this place could sometimes get a little wild, but that's part of what made it so interesting. The clashing of personalities is natural, and when things did get too out of control, people were penalized and/or the thread was locked. If we were all the same and everyone agreed with each other, then why would we even need to bother to ask a question? We all have differences, which also means that we may have different opinions. We should embrace this instead of erase it. Some people did go overboard at times, but I am confused as to why some people were banned while others were not. The reason I think that we feel *entitled* to an answer is because we were told that we would get one.

I just wish we could go back to the good ol' days (ya know - a couple of weeks ago ).

 

[weregoingtodw]

This is exactly how I feel and why I haven't posted much lately. I feel like a student watching all of her friends getting sent to detention - some for reasons unexplained, afraid to ask the teacher a question for fear of being punished.

This used to be my favorite place to visit during the day (sometimes too much), but now I get an uneasy feeling anytime I come here. The only reason I still stop by is because I do still have some friends who have not been banned (yet) and because I keep hoping that it gets better each day.

I am deeply sorry about Bob's death. The loss of anyone, whether we are close to them or not, has an effect on us whether we realize it or not. I hope those who were close to Bob can find a way to cope with their loss. This is a trying time for them, and I do respect their need for time to grieve.

However, I agree with those who say that by *letting up* on questioning this whole situation, we are allowing it to be swept under the rug. True, this place could sometimes get a little wild, but that's part of what made it so interesting. The clashing of personalities is natural, and when things did get too out of control, people were penalized and/or the thread was locked. If we were all the same and everyone agreed with each other, then why would we even need to bother to ask a question? We all have differences, which also means that we may have different opinions. We should embrace this instead of erase it. Some people did go overboard at times, but I am confused as to why some people were banned while others were not. The reason I think that we feel *entitled* to an answer is because we were told that we would get one.

I just wish we could go back to the good ol' days (ya know - a couple of weeks ago ).

That. Exactly.

 

[Christopher Robin]

Bumping to keep it on Page 1.

 

[wvjules]

The issue of the bannings can't be addressed, but the bannings continue. Weird, huh?

 

[paigevz]

The issue of the bannings can't be addressed, but the bannings continue. Weird, huh?

Really? Today?

 

[magsnden]

i just read through this entire thread. everyone has excellent points - allow the mods to grieve, please explain/clear up, the 2 really don't have much to do with each other (even saying that makes me fear that this will be my last post).

maybe we should change this title to "an appeal to the moderators" because it really seems that this is at the heart of most posters' fears:

what can we say? what will get us banned? what did those people do to get banned??


that's really the BEST reason for an explanation - to make sure we're not also on the chopping block. some say, "why do you think they'll give a reason," or "why do you think you deserve an explanation" - that's why! i personally "know" one DISer that was banned for sticking up for the right to be on more than this message board. she, herself, wasn't registered over there, but felt that people shouldn't be banned for it. and then, yup you guessed it, POOF! gone.

i'm completely heartbroken about all this. there are a LOT of people gone who have made this place the first place they check, spending time here more than anywhere else. many, like myself, admit maybe it's too much time!


like i said, i'm worrying that this post (and just about any post where i mention my friend or this entire mess at all) will be the last.

i really do hope they make some announcement soon, so that those of us left here will be able to feel more secure in our standing with the DIS.

 

[robinb]

But, there seems to be a lot of current disboard members (and friends of those banned) who are demanding that the mods tell you why.

I want to address this comment from a different angle. The initial question for me isn't "Why were they banned?" but "What rules did they break?". I know the rules here and I have read the user agreement. I try to follow the rules to the best of my ability. AFAIK, most of the banned people were also following all the written rules as set forth by the DIS but they were still banned.

I don't mind reading a user agreement and then making the choice to agree or move on. But what makes me the most uncomfortable there appears to be unwritten rules that can lead to being banned. How can we be expected to follow the rules when we don't even know what they are?

 

[Mkrop]

I want to address this comment from a different angle. The initial question for me isn't "Why were they banned?" but "What rules did they break?". I know the rules here and I have read the user agreement. I try to follow the rules to the best of my ability. AFAIK, most of the banned people were also following all the written rules as set forth by the DIS but they were still banned.

I don't mind reading a user agreement and then making the choice to agree or move on. But what makes me the most uncomfortable there appears to be unwritten rules that can lead to being banned. How can we be expected to follow the rules when we don't even know what they are?

EXACTLY!

 

[Christopher Robin]

I want to address this comment from a different angle. The initial question for me isn't "Why were they banned?" but "What rules did they break?". I know the rules here and I have read the user agreement. I try to follow the rules to the best of my ability. AFAIK, most of the banned people were also following all the written rules as set forth by the DIS but they were still banned.

I don't mind reading a user agreement and then making the choice to agree or move on. But what makes me the most uncomfortable there appears to be unwritten rules that can lead to being banned. How can we be expected to follow the rules when we don't even know what they are?