Anyone Love a Good Boudreaux Joke?

[tarmand]

In honor of the WPASADI comedy challenge and in order to drum up more votes for the tribal council here:

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=794566

I thought I would start a Boudreaux joke thread. Who's Boudreaux, you ask. Well, he's dat crazy cajun from da bayou.

And away we go:

Pierre looks out the window and sees Boudreaux standing out in his field. Pierre tells his wife Marie, that he is worried about Boudreaux.
The next day he looks out his window and he sees Boudreaux still standing out in his field and tells Marie that he's really worried about Boudreaux.

The next day, he looks out and Boudreaux is still standing out in his field. He says, "Marie, Boudreaux has lost his mind and I need to go help him!"

He walks over to Boudreaux and says, "What the heck are you doing Boudreaux?"

Boudreaux says, "I'm trying to win de Nobel Prize."

Pierre says, "Mais, how you plan to do dat?"

Boudreaux says, "I saw a show on TV and dey said if you want to win de Nobel Prize dat you have to be out standing in your field."

 

[eeyore kelly]

Way down in dat old swamp known as Louisiana, Boudreaux's old lady had
> been pregnant for some time, and now the time had come. So, he brought
> her to the doctor, and the doctor began to deliver the baby. She had a
> little boy, and the doctor looked over at Boudreaux and said, "Hey,
> Boudreaux! You just had you a son! Ain't dat grand!!"
>
> Boudreaux got excited by this, but just then the doctor spoke up and
> said, "Hold on! We ain't finished yet!" The doctor then delivered a
> little girl. He said, "Hey, Boudreaux! You got you a daughter! She a
> pretty lil tang, too." Boudreaux got kind of puzzled by this, and then
> the doctor said, "Hold on, we still ain't got done yet!" The doctor
> then delivered another boy and said, "Boudreaux, you just had youself
> another boy!"
>
> When Boudreaux and his wife went home with their three children, he sat
> down with his wife and said, "Mama, you remember dat night what we ran
> out of Vaseline and we had to use dat dere 3-in-1 Oil?"
>
> She said, "Yeah, I do."
>
> Boudreaux said, "Man, it's a dang good tang we didn't use no WD-40!"

 

[tarmand]

This Louisiana game warden had been keeping an eye on the fishing docks, when after about a week he noticed that Boudreaux had been coming back every day with a boat full of fish. One day he starts to talk to Boudreaux as he's pulling his boat in. The warden says,'Boudreaux, I been watchin you. I notice every day dat you been comin' in wid a full load of fish. You must be havin some good luck? Eh?" Boudreaux answers, "May yah, dem fish is easy to catch." The game warden replies, "Well listen. I got me a day off comin next Saturday. I was wondring, maybe I could go an fish wid you?" Boudreaux replies, "May dat be no problem. Jus make shore you be here at dat 6 a.m. sharp. Cause I gonna leave dis dock wid or widout you." "May I'll be here, don't chu worry none about dat" answers the warden.
Saturday comes and the game warden is waiting at the dock when Boudreaux pulls up and puts his boat in the water. The game warden gets in and Boudreaux proceeds to drive the boat out to the middle of the lake. At this point, Boudreaux shuts off the engine and lets the boat glide to a stop. The game warden, who'd been curious anyway, says to Boudreaux, "May Boudreaux, I been lookin aroun dis boat, and I notice dat all you don brought was dis here ice-chest and dat little brown paper bag under your seat. May, you don't even got no fishin pole." Boudreaux answers, "May, dat be because dats all I need" And he proceeds to pull a stick of dynamite out of the brown paper bag, lights it, thows it in the water and watches it go boooom! All the fish in the area, being stunned, float to the top of the water.

The warden, by this time, can't believe his eyes. Half yelling, he says to Boudreaux, "May Boudreaux, I know we been knowin each udder for a long time, but man, you can't be doing dat, especially wid me being a game warden n all. May, dat's agin de law in a big way dat is." Boudreaux, without say a word, calmly reaches down into the bag (with the warden still rattling off), pulls out a stick, lights it, hands it to the warden and says, "You gonna talk, or you gonna fish?"

 

[Barqs]

After he was dead, a Cajun discovered himself in Hell. He looked around awhile, then went right to work shoveling brimstone. The devil came up to him and said, "How you like it here, my friend? It's hard work and it's hot, yeah?"

The Cajun just smiled and answered, "It not so bad. The work is steady. I got no problem with steady work. And it ain't so hot. You think this is hot? Man, I'm from south Lousiana --- It hot there, my fren! This ain't nothing." He just laughed and went back to work singing and having a high old time.

Satan, being a former Texan, did not like Cajuns. He said to himself, "I'll get him. So he don't mind the hot, huh?" Satan waved a hand and the whole place was suddenly ice and snow, solid. And he said, "That'll fix dat fool!"

When he went back to check on the Cajun, he found him jumping up and yelling and laughing and clapping and dancing. So Satan said, "Man, what's wrong with you?!"

The Cajun smiled big and replied, "The Saints done won the Super Bowl!

 

[tarmand]

I love this one:

Pierre and Boudreaux found themselves out of a job when the underwear factory in Port Barre shut down. But their boss said they could go to the LSU office -- you know ... the Louisiana State Unemployment Office -- so that Pierre and Boudreaux could get some money from the State while out of a job.
So Pierre and Boudreaux went to the LSU office.

As Pierre waited, Boudreaux sat down at a desk and was interviewed by the lady there.

"And what was your former occupation?" she asked.

"Me, I was a crotch stitcher. I specialized in ladies underpants." Boudreaux proudly replied.

So the lady looks it up in her big book and says, "OK, you're eligible for $50 a week."

"You mean I don't gotta do nothin' and I kin get $50 a week. Man, dats betta den crawfishin'!" Boudreaux shouted.

Then Pierre sat down and the lady asked him the same question.

Pierre looked her straight in the eye and said, "I was one a dem diesel fitters."

She looked up in her big book again and said "Very good then, you're eligible for $200 a week in unemployment benefits."

"Wait a minute!" Boudreaux shouted. "Mais, how come Pierre gets $200 a week, and me, I only get $50. I tole you I used to be a crotch stitcher; you know you gotta be real good to do dat kind of work so de seams are all nice an straight an smooth so nutting scratches de lady. An Pierre here, he's only a diesel fitter. And he's gonna make at least twice more dan me?!"

"Oh," the lady replied, "but he's a skilled laborer with an education. Diesel fitters are in high demand especially by oil fields and heavy equipment users. There's not many diesel specialists around."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, lady," Boudreaux continued, "you got dat all wrong. Yeah, Pierre's a diesel fitter, all right. But what dat means is dat after I do all de fine work on de lady drawers, he picks dem up, looks 'em over and stretches dem dis way and dat, and den says, 'Yep, dese'll fit her!'"

 

[MrsKreamer]

Boudreaux called Thibodaux all excited. Thibodaux said "May why yall excited?" Boudreaux said "I won some free tickets to goup der an see a football game at LSU!" So Boudreaux and his wife Clotile took a ride up to Baton Rouge, turned around and drove strait home. Thibodaux, puzzled seeing his friend home so soon, asked him what happened. Boudreaux replied "May, we got out der and saw dis big ol sign that said 'LSU left'!"

 

[lulu71]

Mrs. Boudreaux went to the local newspaper and said she wanted to put in the Obituary Column that Boudreaux died. They told her it would be $1.00 per word. She said, "Here's $2.00 - put in dere at BOUDREAUX DIED. They said, Mrs. Boudreaux, surely you want more dan dat." She said, Mais, no, just Boudreaux died. The editor said, "Well, you're a little upset. Bring yourself back tomorrow and you will probably tink of somethin else. She came back the next day, and said, "Yeh, I taught of somethin else, "BOAT FOR SALE".

 

[lulu71]

OK...one more...

Boudreaux won the eight million dollar Lotto drawing. So early Monday morning he drives to Lotto headquarters in Baton Rouge to collect his winnings. Boudreaux tells the clerk, I won the Lotto and I come to collect my money, eight million dollar. The clerk tells him I am sorry Mr. Boudreaux but we don't give all the money at one time, we will pay you four hundred thousand dollars for the next twenty years. Boudreaux tells the clerk may non cher I don't want to wait twenty years for my money I want it today and all of it! Again she tells him I am sorry sir but that's not the way it works. Boudreaux was furious so he tells the clerk if you can't give me all of my money today then here is your ticket and give me back my dollar.

 

[tarmand]

Boudreaux is driving down the big road in Houston, Texas, when all of a sudden this big ole Texan cuts him off and forces Boudreaux to the shoulder where Boudreaux immediately gets out his Country Cadillac (pick-up truck) and walks up to the Texan and begans screaming at the guy. The Texan, remaining calm, politely goes to his trunk, and pulls out a tire tool. He bends over and draws a circle in the concrete on the shoulder of the Interstate and tells Boudreaux to get in the circle and DON'T get out. Well, the Texan walks over to Boudreaux's pick-up truck and bashes in his tail lights. Looking at Boudreaux , the Texan sees him laughing hard. Getting even more frustated, the Texan bashes in the back glass. Looking over at Boudreaux again, he sees him lying on the ground, rolling from laughing so hard. This really gets the Texan upset, so he bashes in the front windshield, the headlights, and the mirrors. Walking over to where Boudreaux was at, in the circle, he still sees ole Boudreaux on the ground, laughing so hard that he's turning blue in the face. Not understanding why, the Texan says to Boudreaux , " Man, I bash in your windows, and you laugh; I bash in your tail lights, and you laugh; I bash in your windshield, mirrors and headlights, and you can barely breathe because you're laughing so hard. What the heck is wrong with you?" Finally catching his breath, Boudreaux says, "You fool; you Texans think you're so much better than us; you know what? When you wasn't looking, I got out that circle three times!!