Anyone but me feel chintzy...

[Thumper1]

There is a saying "When in Rome, Do as the Romans do". In many cultures haggling is a way of life. It is expected that one should haggle for goods. It is a person's individual choice whether to abide by the local customs or not. I'd rather respect a culture and do as they do. So in Mexico I haggle, they expect it. I'd rather know that I'm not being a dunce.

A couple of years ago I took a cruise with Carnival. I had been wanting one of the those clay suns. We went to a downtown store at the first stop and I bought one for around $20 American without haggling. I then continually saw the same item at much less prices in various types of stores. I then learned that you were expected to haggle. As I took an interest in another item and asked the price, I thought it was too much, I turned around to leave. I was then offered a lower price. I then told them too much. I was offered another price. This was when I learned that haggling was a way of life and expected. Isn't it better to respect a culture than feel sorry for it and make the locals feel embarrassed. There will always be people who are better off and less off than we are, I think it says this in the Bible somewhere. If you have a moderate income, do you want 1) the rich people to give you money or 2) respect you for your position in the world and be aware of your customs. I'd rather the latter.

 

[Tinkerbells Magic]

I used to feel very uncomfortable haggling with others, especially in poor areas, but I found in Cambodia and Thailand, the women vendors were actually offended if I didn't haggle. They would INSIST I counter offer and I would say no and take out my money and they would shake their heads no, grimace, and start all sorts of body language and broken English to teach me how. I was surprised how very little of the time people took advantage of me and my daughter, who clearly lived a much different existence than them. I had been warned how we would be taken advantage of constantly, especially travelling alone on one trip. I learned to haggle down to what was usually near half out of respect and then they would smile and say "Yours madam!" Then I would thank them and tip them the difference between haggled and full price and tell them the extra was theres for being such a kind person. In this matter it was acceptable to them. Not charity and done with no deception on their part. We always left with mutual smiles of happiness and head bows. They would always smile and wave as we passed back by on our way to where we were staying.

I also took this time to get to know people and understand their cultures better. There are some great conversations to be had meeting people in a foreign marketplace, especially ones the locals frequent! The people I have met travelling give me a broader view of a culture or country better than books, museums and tour guides combined. People, for me, are the most interesting part of any trip. 10 minute "windows" into other peoples lives enrich me in many ways.

I have seen the "tricks" mentioned in one of the posts above about Haiti happen in Cambodia too. Hard to believe, but true in some cases! If you look far enough or around the next corner you can see where the child is being sent from and from what group of people, or parent. In Cambodia, I never saw any child or group that looked particularly well fed and looked in good health. Most everyone showed telltale signs of living a very harsh life. They looked like they lived like most of the pop. in Cam., in poverty similar to what Barb described (and worse) on her Jeep ride in Cozumel. I am sure there are some who might not. But I know they are in the minority and I would rather give then hold back when it comes to feeding someone's stomach. I figure I have been fortunate and hardly ever spent a night hungry in my life. I have wrestled with this dilemma before in my head, as there are many angles to look at it from, and finally decided I would rather be tricked than to have inadvertently turned away from another human being in true need.

Friends travelling with us on one trip said "Those children are just taking advantage of your kindness, they have honed their "begging" skills to perfection" (which was by all appearnaces fairly accurate) and I shrugged my shoulders, "Point out the ones that you KNOW are going to go to bed on a full stomach tonight". My friend said, "I never thought about it that way."

My oldest daughter found a magnet that we keep on our fridge. Whenever I doubt what I have done or I am discouraged because I have been taken advantage of by someone (and sometimes MAD!), I look at it and it reminds me it is OK to have been made a fool. I would rather be made a fool of than disappoint myself. It says, "Give to the world the best that you have and the best will come back to you". It helps me let go of that anger and remind me that the best indeed comes back to me, in a peaceful and settled heart, that holds few regrets. It allows me to let go of my concerns, because above all else I was true to MYSELF and did what I felt was right. Giving enriches the giver.

Sincerely,

Liz

 

[westjones]

Liz,
That is beautiful!

DJ

 

[Fawn]

Liz....beautifully said!