Any other working moms feel like your short-changing your family?

[disneyjunkie]

I wasn't responding to your post, I was talking about how it has turned into Working Moms trying to "defend themselves" and putting down the SAHM decision.

I don't see anyone putting down the SAHM decision. Everyone is doing what the OP did. We're stating our opinions, feelings... on the topic

 

[disykat]

I don't see anyone putting down the SAHM decision. Everyone is doing what the OP did. We're stating our opinions, feelings... on the topic

I felt like on about page 8 it started to degenerate into a "SAHMs are naive" thread. I'm glad to see it getting back on track.

Like most people here, I very much see both options as viable. It totally on each individual family.

 

[WeLoveLilo05]

I kinda get what your saying. Since I have been working we are able to give them nicer christmases and go on vacation more and do little things like take them shopping or to the movies more but I am miserable!!

I know a lot of woman that work full time and say they would go insane if they had to stay home full time but I wonder how they can be successful moms and wives and still work full time and not be tired and stressed like I am????

I am in the same boat as you...I was MISERABLE while student teaching and I am done with school and can begin looking for a job, actually I am waiting til Sept when DD is in school (still she will only be in school half day) and I just don't think I want to b/c I remember, as you described, not eating healthy (or my mom making meals for me, which I am thankful for, but i felt bad that she'd make extra dishes for us), wash out the wazoo on weekends, my house was not the way I usually kept it, not having enough time for DD. On my last day of Student teaching my DD jumped up and down and said "yaaaay you don't have to work anymore, I missed you so much mama!" It just made me so sad that I left her. It was just so stressful, so I am unsure what to do come Sept.

If i went to work we'd have a lot in savings (since we have lived off of one income for 6 years) but just not sure how it is all going to work out. I thought maybe if I got a job PT at a bakery or something that would be good. And what good is it if your miserable and stressed all the time KWIM?

Ohhhh and if you want a PT time, may I suggest a library? LOL I worked at a library all throughout HS and some of college and the hours were great, couldn't be beat.

 

[Momvic5]

OP...I just think that sometimes we, moms, place a lot of pressure on ourselves - whether we are working or stay at home moms. I also think that some of us are just naturally "wired" to stress out or worry about things. I know by examining myself that many times the stress that I feel is self-inflicted. I am a SAHM, but I feel stressed and tired a lot. I homeschool my 3 children, but by the time our school day ends, I still have a ton of typical mom stuff to do. If I don't do these things each day, I feel behind for the next day or that I am short-changing my family. I spend a lot of time with my kids, but I still feel that I don't speed enough of the "right time" with them. Why?...I don't know. The funny thing is is that I am putting these pressures or demands on myself....my dh and children could care less about some of the things I insist on doing. However, I know this about myself, and I am working on it. I try to focus on what I feel is absolutely important for the day, and if I find myself stressing out over something I didn't do, then I try to make it a priority for the next day or the next opportunity. I wish I were the type of person who could just relax and enjoy what I have done instead of always focusing on what I haven't done.....but I am not so I am just going to blame it on my "wiring".


I think talking to your family about how you are feeling is a great idea. Maybe they can help you sort through your feelings and help you discern between what it is that they really need from you and what you feel that they need from you. I know that is the biggest problem for me....finding the happy medium or peace between giving my family what they really need and what I think they need.

 

[Took]

Really? I thought it was a pretty tame discussion about the important details to consider, and I thought the most commonly wrap-up phrase was something along the lines of "your mileage may vary, but you should consider all the options carefully".

ITA. I think most everyone has been polite and respectful and has told the OP that she must look at the details of her own situation. No one seemed to "put down" anyone else. "Running the numbers" just makes good sense. Then, one must balance those financial considerations against the emotional/mental ones invovled in either taking an outside job or not. That pretty much sums it up.

Good luck, OP.