Any other DISers trying to concieve? Reread OP for the QOTD!

[2bemarried]

LisaB....I'm sorry to hear that aunt flo showed up. Don't stress over possibilities. Good luck with the ultrasound tomorrow.

Kahana-ri...good luck ttc.

Rachael good luck charting. I didn't have the patience to do that.

Becky...I like your new mantra. That's a great way to look at it...even when your SIL announces her pregnancy. Unfortunately we're not all that lucky. Right now we have 1 set of friends that are due with their first in August, 1 set due with their second in October and friends from church just announced their pregnancy 2 weeks ago. It all gets discouraging after awhile but we can't give up.

2bemarried, it's important to maintain a sense of humor. Today, DH has to go to Wal-Mart to get me my New Cycle Socks. I buy 2 new packs of socks for every new cycle. If I'm going to spend every day in stirr-ups, I want my socks to be clean. I have a LOT of socks. I always get my hair cut before my retrieval surgery. I need to look good in my johnny, brown hospital socks, and surgical bonnet. Today is your DH's surgery, right? I hope everything goes well. Just remember, with ICSI, you only need one per egg. So, whatever they can find is good enough.

Carla I LOVE the sock idea!! I prefer the ones they have in the hospital...you know the cute soft ones with treads on the bottom DH got a pair of them today . Do you seriously spend EVERY day in stirr-ups? That's just a little frightening.

DH and I checked into the outpatient surgery center at 6am this morning. He went under at 7:15 and the procedure was done by 8:10. I'm normally just rolling out of bed at 8:10 The doctor performed two steps. The first was an aspiration (needle biopsy) to check for sperm. The little guys were there but they weren't moving. So the docs then did an incision and took 4 tubes worth of stuff. The RE surgeon took those back to the lab and will examine them to tell if they found viable guys. DH's urologist is "cautiously optimistic" that we will have what we need to get pregnant. So...here's my question for those in the "know"....if the little guys are motile...can that be treated? Do they have to be motile to use them in ICSI?

 

[AllyandJack]

Kristy, they don't have to move for ICSI. They just have to be normal form and alive. I have no idea how they determine "aliveness". But, they just take a normal, alive one and inject it right into the egg. So, they don't have to move at all as long as they're normal form. Four tubes is AWESOME! What's the next step for you guys?

 

[mickeyboat]

Another hello to all of you. Hope you had a good weekend.

luvmygoofy - please ask for the fasting glucose test for PCOS. Even if you are not trying to get PG right now, PCOS can be a precursor for diabetes. So if there are signs right now, you can deal with it now, before it becomes a chronic illness. I had PCOS, and it took 2 1/2 years for the doctor to test me - at my insistence. I got PG several weeks after I started Metformin.

Carla - it is absolutely amazing how much you are already going through for your children. I have a good feeling about this one! Maybe we could all send you some stirrup socks.

About all this practicing. I told DH it was a medical fact that he was using up all his boy sperm while we were practicing. After beign married for 7 years, we had two girls. Told ya!

To everyone else - I completely understand your feelings about friends, relatives, teens and drug users getting PG, and also feelings when you see how some people treat their children - when you are having such a tough time yourself. I used to feel badly that I felt that way - until I decided that I am entitled to my feelings, and I wasn't going to feel badly because I was having them.

I had an ectopic PG in August, 1997. I was due on Memorial Day weekend. I was excited for about 5 minutes, until I was told that the PG was not viable. I had a D & C, methotrexade, and didn't really tell anyone. Everyone knew we were trying, and having trouble, though. In October, my SIL handed me a couple of hospital PG tests, and told me she wouldn't be needing these anymore. I was very confused at first, but when I realized what she meant, I almost passed out. She was due the same time I would have been. I could barely eek out a "congratulations" before I told DH we needed to get out of there. I know she is still mad because she didn't get the fluorish she deserved when she announced her PG, but I was not in a position to give her that. I still wonder what that baby would have been like.

More baby dust for all!

Denae

 

[LisaB]

Rachael, thank you. Some days I wonder if I can keep going, but then I realize that the alternative is giving up. I'm only 29. I'm not willing to give up. I tell my DH that I'm shooting up the wrong drugs. My cousin has terrible endometriosis and has had numerous surgeries for it. She also has severe PCOS. Her doctors told her she would NEVER get pregnant. They even recommended having everything removed so she wouldn't have to be in pain. Well, don't you know she got pregnant.....from a one night stand in a broom closet at drug rehab. So, heroin works for her. Maybe it'll work for the rest of us. Plus, everytime I watch Cops and they arrest some addict, they ALWAYS have kids. If I can prove heroin as some sort of fertility drug, I'll be rich.

In my case at least I would lose weight with the heroin diet

 

[scifihippie]

at the heroin diet.

I have a friend who was doing a clomid/trigger cycle and she ended up having to trigger earlier than she thought and she was going to be out of town for two days. She ended up meeting her DH halfway two nights and having some back-seat foolin' around. We told her it would work b/c it works for all those teenagers!

Carla, I'm sorry about your blood blister. I bled a few times from sticks and those spots were sore for a few weeks. I understand about the mom thing too. I didn't even go into any details with my mom about anything. It wasn't worth the aggrivation for me. I did tell my dad (parents divorced). He helped us finance part of our tx. Our ins sucks b/c it only paid diagnosis and not tx.

2bemarried, yay on the successful surgery. I don't believe they have to be motile for ICSI. Fingers crossed that you get great news from the urologist.

Rachael, I second everyone else, just look for a pattern. It took me several cycles of charting to realize that I was having a problem and not ovulating. I would have blissfully gone on unaware for many more months had I not charted. Charting your temps can give you a lot of info and help you target your best days for conceiving. Just look for that temp shift.

Denae, I'm sorry for your loss. How heartbreaking to have your SIL be due when you were.

lovemygoofy, there are lots of blood tests they can do to help diagnose PCOS. The RE thought I had it until he checked my glucose, like the pp mentioned, my androgens and my TSH/FSH ratio. Those are standard hormone tests your doc can run. They can also do an ultrasound to see if your ovaries look polycystic.

Anyone watch Days of our Lives? I watched it in high school then again over the winter while I was on maternity leave. Well, it's still in my TiVo list. I turned it on this weekend just to see what was going on and I was at the Mimi/Shawn IVF story. Sooooooooo UNREALISTIC!!!! I guess they have to take huge dramatic license with it like every other serious storyline.

 

[2bemarried]

Thanks for the info Carla. The doctor said the sperm were alive but not motile in the asperation so hopefully the 4 tubes worth will be of good quality to do IVF/ICSI. The next step is seeing my RE Monday at 2:30. Aunt flo should be coming to town in the next two weeks so I'm hoping we can get into the med tech class soon, wait for Aunt Flo to pass through town and then start the medications.

Denae...thanks so much for sharing your story with us. I appreciate hearing from others that have been through all of this stuff.

Melissa...I don't watch Days of Our Lives but if it's anything like the One Life To Live prison execution storyline, it should be stratched from the storyboard.

 

[helenabear]

I'm a bit behind here due to the server busy as well as being gone most of the weekend.

Lisa, so sorry about AF. Not a good birthday at all... had similar feelings when mine started on Mother's Day.

Denae That had to be so rough... my heart goes out to you with that.

Okay, you had me laughing at the heroine

Carla, just hang in there... don't give up at all! I am sure everything will work out and this will be just a distant memory and even something to possibly laugh about in the future.

Same to you Kristy!

Becky, what a great attitude you have there. I try to keep that one myself... though I admit sometimes it is easier than others.

QOTD: I admit I don't talk to others about it much at all. Every month that goes by I feel like a bit of a failure. I do have a doc appt in a month (regular check up). I am not sure what that will bring. We don't have much stress going on so I am not sure what could come of that. Right now I just have this "feeling" that this isn't meant to be. I hear of so many who just try and one or two months later they are pregnant. So not many I can talk to anyway.

not the perkiest here I know, and considering what a lot of you are going through, I am lucky. I'm not sure I could be as strong as many of you are going through all the procedures.

 

[2bemarried]

not the perkiest here I know, and considering what a lot of you are going through, I am lucky. I'm not sure I could be as strong as many of you are going through all the procedures.

Elaine, if we went back one year and you asked me if I could handle infertility issues and all of these tests I would have said no. You honestly don't know how much you can handle until you're faced with it. You're a strong strong woman and I have faith that if you were faced with this you would handle it just as well as anyone else would. Besides...we always have the ladies here and the yaya's to support us.

 

[beckmrk04]

You know... I was just sitting here tonight and thinking. Every time I get discouraged, each and every person on this thread has given me some form of wisdom, encouragement, a funny story and a laugh, or a hug and warm wishes. Thank you all so much- I know there are also probably some lurkers out there who are feeling a little better stopping by. Just a sappy thought.

2bemarried: I am keeping my fingers crossed for you!! Glad the surgery went well!

helenabear: I feel the same way- every time it doesn't happen I catastrophize it and feel like something must be "wrong" with me. BUT- I am trying to practice what I preach, hard as it is, and maintain that God has it all worked out- I'm just not privy to the plan yet!!

Here's an encouraging story I thought I'd share. At my previous job, I worked with a woman named Brenda. She was 42 years old, and I just loved her to death. She was great. She had been married 12 years, and she and her husband tried to have kids, but it just never happened. They decided that it wasn't meant to be. About 1 year ago, Brenda got sick. Very sick. Horrible stomach cramps and nausea. She ended up in the emergency room, and you guessed it. Brenda found out that she was 5 months pregnant!!! She now has a beautiful daughter (I forget her name).

So, I think of Brenda a lot when I worry about getting pregnant. I remember that things aren't always going to happen on my schedule- God (or fate or whatever you believe in) has a sense of humor that can't be beat!!

 

[beckmrk04]

Reread OP for QOTD (5/31)

QOTD: The biggest misconception that I had was that you can get pregnant any time in your cycle. Or that the first time you had sex without birth control: BOOM- you'd be pregnant. I'm sure this was drilled into my head in school. It's sad how little we actually learn about our bodies.

Then I found out that heroin, along with crack and alcohol, are actually the best fertility drugs, but HMO's won't cover them. Who knew.

 

[AllyandJack]

Denae, I'm so sorry for your ectopic. It almost seems like an extra kick in the face. You can't just suffer the miscarriage, oh no, you have to have it complicated and threaten your life. I don't know why people think we'd want their spare pregnancy tests. Getting an announcement like that stinks....after having a m/c, it's never easy, but can't people have some tact? I already have a set of socks laid out for my date with the stirrups tomorrow. Good times.

Melissa, I had heard about that Days storyline. I'm still freaked out about the All My Children storyline...how the fertility doctor was using his own sperm for the inseminations. Makes me happy my RE is a woman!

Kristy, I think4 tubes should be enough. Not all will survive the thaw, but 4 tubes seems to be sufficient for ICSI. They should be able to tell you Monday if they were normal forms. I hope they can get you going right away. Will you learn your protocol on Monday?

Elaine, you'd be really surprised at what you can handle. At my very first appointment with my RE, I said that I would go as far as IUI, but I wouldn't do IVF. I didn't think I could handle it. She has this diagram of the process in her ultrasound room. I used to sit there and stare at it and think, "No WAY!" My RE moves fast...she moves fast and doesn't ask questions or give warning (she calls at 2pm and tells you to inject at 8pm that night). This works for me since, given the chance to think about it, I might back out. Whatever you do, don't NOT see a doctor because you're afraid of what they'll find. I held onto my RE's name for 3 months because I didn't want to entertain the idea that something horrible might be wrong. That was 3 months totally wasted.

Becky, imagine going to the doctor and finding out you were 5 months pregnant?? HA! See, that could never happen to us because we're obsessed and it could never go unnoticed. I don't think my PPO covers heroin either. I'm not sure how great of a diet it is....my cousin was 280lbs at one point and had gastric bypass surgery. She got down to about 180lbs, but now she's back up to 260lbs. That was Medicaid money well spent.


QOTD 5/31: Oh, definitely that sex=baby. Not so. 1 in 6 couples will have some sort of trouble conceiving. 20% of those will never get a diagnosis and will go on as "unexplained". I also had this pie-eyed idea that if you did everything "right" - had a nice place to live, financial stability, all the proper insurances, good marriage, wonderful environment, planned ahead - that a family would come naturally and it would be a happy time. It seems to be the exact opposite. My DH said to me the other night, "So are we making a baby or what?" I said, "I guess so." (This was after he had a big fight with BCBS and I had ENOUGH) He said, "This should be a happy time!" Are you kidding?! He can sit there and having it be a happy time because he isn't the one getting the needles and having headaches and nausea and muscle cramps. He's not the one whose ovaries blow up to 5 times their normal size making the simple task of tying my shoes unbearable. He's not the one getting jabbed with needles and having blood taken every day. He's not the one who has to drive 1.5 hours to a doctor every morning. He doesn't have to have surgery and he wasn't the one who was bedridden for weeks. So, yeah, for him, it can still be a happy time! I wonder if it will ever be a happy time. I don't think so. I won't allow a baby shower. I refuse to buy anything but diapers until the baby(ies) is home safe from the hospital. So, it's just not a happy time and I always thought it would be.

 

[Minnesota!]

I only have a minute, but I wanted to give ((((((((((((((((((((((((((humungous hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))) for all the sad news around here lately. The m/c and just upset feelings. It sucks. "IF sucks" has been my motto for about 5 years now. I pray for all of us to realize our dreams....having that baby in our arms....

I have to get to work, but wanted to let you know I am still around :O) WDW was awesome!

 

[Syrreal]

QOTD- Actually, the biggest misconception I have about pregnancy is that you can get pregnant by not actually being there (all this travel I've been having to do w/o dh doesn't help things) j/k

Decided to wait to see if AF comes or not before testing. I did some calculating and it is a possibility that I will be O after I come back in 2 1/2 weeks so if I am not this month we may have a possibility of being next month.

I'll talk to you ladies when I get back. Pixiedust to everyone

 

[LisaB]

I did my baseline ultrasound today. I dragged my dh to it because I figure he should share in the pain. I kept telling him all he has to do is jerk off in a cup and then he needs me there. I love going because I get caught up on the new Playboys. I love the articles and cartoons. We have an appointment on Friday with my doctor to see about the next step if I don't get pregnant this cycle. Then we are off to the finger lakes for wine tasting for our 10th anniversary. Well at least I can drink wine.

 

[beckmrk04]

Well at least I can drink wine.

Heck yeah! That has been the redeeming factor of NOT being pregnant for me. Margaritas, daquiris, and wine. Not that I'm a big lush, but I have been enjoying more of them since I can, and before I'm not allowed.

I should O around June 10th this time. So, hopefully.

Carla- you are SO right. Most of us will know we're pregnant the first minute we can get the technology to work. BUT- Brenda's story always reminds me that sometimes we can't see "the plan" and "the plan" may not be our own plan, but it will all work out.

and baby dust to everyone!!!

 

[KimR]

BUT- Brenda's story always reminds me that sometimes we can't see "the plan" and "the plan" may not be our own plan, but it will all work out.

and baby dust to everyone!!!

This is so true. It took me a year to conceive my 2nd DD after going off the pill. For some reason, the pill supressed my normal hormone production and I was not ovulating (technical name: post-pill amenorrhea). Nothing seemed to work and I was extremely frustrated, to say the least. Well, almost 1 year to the day of stopping the pill I finally ovulated and conceived DD. I remember my frustration and wanting to be pregnant NOW so badly. The thing is, though, had I gotten pregnant earlier I would have a child but it wouldn't be DD and what a shame that would be. We were meant to have HER and I would have gladly waited however long it took to conceive that amazing person.

That thought has helped me get through these past few years of disappointment and heartache...just hoping that whatever happens is for the best in the long run.

 

[LisaB]

Has anyone tried any type of alternative medicine such as achupunture (sp)??

 

[KimR]

Has anyone tried any type of alternative medicine such as achupunture (sp)??

Not acupuncture, but when I was TTC DD2 I did try herbs. They didn't work for me though. I was going to try vitex this time but figured at my age, I don't have time to wait for the herbs to start to work so I went straight to meds (letrozole).

 

[helenabear]

Thanks for all the good thoughts. I think I am just getting down on myself. Just about a year ago (almost exactly) I quit my job. I stay at home and cook, clean, you know... do all that old style wife stuff. I hated my job and I am happy at home and working around the house. My DH is far happier too even though we lost nearly half our income. It's something we always said we wanted... one person to stay at home with kids. So now I keep feeling like I need to make an excuse on why I am at home. People ask if I am working or not... it's just adding to the "can't have children yet" feelings.

I feel like I am constantly justifying why I don't work and to some why I have no children.

I do know I won't touch the chemicals. I know some don't get that, but my mother did and it was too much on her body. Probably not as much as I feel, but when you lose your mom young, you try not to repeat what she did. So it is either natural or adopt for us. I really do not want to risk going through all my mom did. Having me was rough on her body and could've killed her.

That said... I also am having this very strange pull towards adoption. Not a baby mind you, but a toddler or young gradeschooler. I can't decide if it is me wanting it due to impatience, or if it is "the right thing to do"

I know these are rambles, but I am sure some of you might understand. I feel like I am in a waiting position... trying to decide what to do next.

Syrreal, I hope you have a good trip and crossing my fingers for you!

Lisa, your attitude about it really made me smile! I agree some of the articles and cartoons are a riot!!!! I hope you enjoy that wine to the fullest!!! Sounds like you will have a great anniversary

QOTD: I think I'm going to share one from my childhood that might make y'all laugh. I am not sure where this came from, but I sort of know why. I was about 4 or 5 I think, when I saw a lady in town pregnant. I was told the baby is growing inside of her and it all started from a seed.
No joke, from that point until I was about 10 and learned the "Facts of Life" I thought every woman had a seed in her, and somehow when married that seed would begin to grow. Like we all knew when we would be married and all that. So I thought that the seed was growing and then the baby would grow and we'd all have a child in us from about the time we were teens or something. It was very skewed I know, but it cracks me up when I think about it.

 

[AllyandJack]

Elaine, I stayed at home for a while, too. I got out of law school and had 2 jobs in succession that made me miserable. DH told me to stay home. I said OK...figuring I'd be pregnant in a few months - 8 or 9 at the most since I had been on birth control pills for so long. I cleaned all there was to clean. I cooked all there was to cook. Then, I sat. I sat and watched TV with the cats crawling all over me. It was so depressing. So, I went back to work. I am semi-miserable. Not with the job, but I have to commute 1.5 hours (which can turn into 2.5 hours) each way. But, it's so flexible and it allows me to undergo all of the stuff I have to do with the blood work and stuff. It's a trade-off, but I don't have a choice since I can't get a "real" job and I refuse to sit at home and be sad and lonely. It's somehow unacceptable to stay home without kids....people look at you funny, huh? They look at you with pity because they assume you CAN'T get a job.

I love that story about the "seed" - if only, huh?

Lisa, thankfully, DH has never asked me to hang around while he's had his tests or provided his contribution to my procedures. Hey, I went to my HSG alone, he can manage his test alone. Alcohol is usually a good cure for a BFN. I drank and entire bottle of champagne once....straight out of the bottle. I could feel all of the tension flow out of my body....ahhhh.......

I have heard great things about acupuncture. People in my buddy group on FF swear by it and also massage therapy. One woman in my group got a massage before her transfer and she got a BFP - it was a chemical, but she had never gotten a BFP before in her life. Plus, it can't hurt...well, except for the needles.