To the OP:
I also want to encourage you to not go at Christmas! And I know you didn't solicit any opinions on Meds, but I wanted to quickly encourage you to very much consider allowing you son to try medication. My Daughter is now 10 and has been on a very small dose of lexapro for her anxiety. We had her in therapy from the time she was about 4 or 5 (she was selective mute with severe social anxiety). We fought medicine tooth and nail.
A few things to consider:
With anxiety therapy is useless if the anixiety doesn't allow them to process and apply the strategies. The meds allow them to be able to have the anxiety off enough to focus on the therapy.
A wise doctor told us that if your child does not need the meds then they won't work. For us two to three weeks on medicine and she was a happy and relaxed child. For us it was night and day and I cried because I realized I had been keeping her in a state of anxiety because of my own anxiety about drugs.
The younger you start a child on some medication therapy the much higher prognosis that they won't need it later. My husband wants her off yesterday simply because he doesn't want her on any drug. But the Psychologist we saw just yesterday said that while you are concerned about putting a child on medicine at a young age, this is also the age where the self esteem is hugely developed and for kids with social anxiety you will see them start to also show signs of depression. Have you ever heard him say "I hate my life, or found notes about not liking himself? The doctor says that if you wait to treat a child that TRULY needs the meds then you now have complications of low self esteem and depression to treat and then you are trying to treat them when they are teens (as noted above by a PP) and trying to find the right meds is difficult. Now is the best time to try, not when they are in middle and high school and already feel they are unable to be successful. Also, one huge thing I found was that the children at school basically "wrote her off" because they knew she was too shy to play, or wouldn't talk to them". She still has struggles maybe starting conversations, but now she actually has friends and is able to "hang" with people. But it took a long time after SHE felt ready to do that for the others to accept this new personality.
Lastly, medicine and therapy are needed together. I am not suggesting doing medication and then drop therapy (although with the meds for my DD it was so apparent that she felt such a difference that it was tempting to just say she's fixed). But we know that she needs to remain on both for the short term in order for her to be able to have a better prognosis for her future and not need either in the long run.
Again I know you didn't solicit this, but please know that with all my heart I understand your pain and trepidation to think he may need medication. Please consider strongly giving it a try. Please feel free to send a private message if you want any more information.
Good luck! For our DD we just never would go to Disney at a crowded time. We are going this Thanksgiving and we are conisdering asking for a GAC but to be honest I don't think she will need it. Good luck! Sending prayers and good wishes for your son. I know how absolutely devastating it is to watch them hurt in this manner. Know that you are being an outstanding parent trying to get him help now!