Anther school vent...............

[beautybelle]

There is really no reason at all for me to post this other than to get it off my chest but may I say that I personally bitterly hate public schools and just about anything related with them. I hate to say this out loud but Im almost to a point that if someone tells me that they are a teacher im automatically on the defensive. Good grief, is there really any left that actually give a hoot if a child learns or not because if they are I would LOVE to meet one. I honestly dont think I can think of a place that has so many educated (cant write that here) in one spot as a public school building.

Let me explain a little more. We as a family really do try to abide and live by the rules. We really, really do. However, my ds is in the 5th grade this year and from the very day he started school its been nothing but one headache right after another.. Heck, I cant keep up with the rules there are so many of them and they're making more by the day. Its probably going to sound like my son may be the problem but my gripe isnt disiplinary related because he is a very good student with high grades and never causes any trouble, its all school policy junk.

The SOL thing is so off the charts that it would take me all day to complain about that. The absenteeism thing is almost as smart. Accelerated reading points being mandatory, yeah, thats a great way of instilling a love of reading. That was a great idea (yeah, right).

And then, God forbid, if you have to go in to talk with one of them about something, anything really, you get this im so educated and smart and you're the dumbest hillbilly to ever breath fresh air attitude. When all you can do is sit there with a smile plastered on your face agreeing with whatever in the hades they're saying because, really, does it do any good at all to try to talk to these people, well not in my experience.

Wouldnt you just love to say just one time "Wipe that holier than thou smirk off your face because all YOUR policys and rules are failing, its not ME!!) But 2 things stop me, one is I dont want her to go back and take it out on my son because she doesnt like me and the other is security. LOL But its a very nice thought.

I have to laugh a little when I see posts talking about how come parents and teachers cant work together (in a Walgreens world maybe) well its because once the kids start school they think they own them and they can lead the parents around by the nose rings. Most parents dont like this attitude and hence the friction. I can honestly remember before my son started school thinking that I would volunteer in the classrooms, join PTA, just help out and be supportive. It was all of a week before I realized what a rosey picture I had because school isnt like it was when I went and they dont want you in the vicinity of the school much less in the building.

I know they're a lot of teachers on this board and Ive never met you and you may just be wonderful and love kids, love your job, etc. that would be great and I sincerely apologize if I hurt anybody feelings but you obviously dont live where I do and I know I have flames coming but this is one issue where I honestly dont care. My care has officially run out as of today.

7 yrs (counting Pre-School & Kinder.) of TRYING to work WITH the school system and im just fed up. You have a problem and you (following the rules here) call and set up an appt with the teacher, you tell her what is wrong and would like to come up with a way to help the situation, nah, nah, nah, back up little girl, I'LL tell YOU how WE'RE going to handle the situation, you take your opinion and go on back home and live with it.

I really wish that we had more school options here but we live in a very remote area and there are 2 options, PS or HS. I would choose HS but my son loves going to school and being with his friends so HS is out for him. BUT my daughter is 2 and Im seriously thinking about never letting her set foot in a school building.

Yes, im p!ssed off as heck.

Go ahead and flame away but please dont tell me how bad the kids are vs. the teachers because I would be willing to bet my house that as bad as the kids are the teachers are as bad if not worse in most cases.

Oh and let me address the teacher appreciation thing before that gets going too. I would above anyone appreciate a good teacher, I really would. Just send us one and I will be the first in line.
Shew, I feel better. Im not sure how long Ive had that on my mind and Ive never let on to this extent how much I hate PS.

Oh and I HAVE to tell this one more story before I go. Now this is what I call smart. This past Christmas THE SCHOOL gave my nephew a Christmas present (he's very low income so he qualified for some sort of program) now keep in mind THEY gave it to him. Well hes in the 4th grade and told his buddies that it could be a bomb. One of the buddies told the teacher what he said and she took the present and him to the principals office and they called the police and the mom. Well when mom gets there they have the boy in a chair and a pair of handcuffs on the table in front of him and the principal and police are all telling him that he could go to jail for remarks like that. The kid was scared to death. Mom asks where he got the gift to begin with and they told her at school. OK now (well this is where they probably would've had to put the handcuffs on me to keep me from choking somebody silly) I could not believe, well I guess I can, that this could happen. If I give you a gift im pretty much gonna know what I put in it and then you turn around and tell me that its a bomb, well correct me if im wrong here but wouldnt you disagree with that person and say NO its not, its a teddybear (or whatever). I cant say that I would start screaming and run for my life. Geez am I missing something. I know that common sense is pretty much extinct but good grief these people run, actually run, a school. But anyway they suspended nephew for 2 weeks. Mom took the present and threw it at the principal and told her to NEVER give her son nothing else as long as he was in her school. The nephew was told to never, ever, under any circumstances to utter the B word at school. Not even playing.

I told my son to never take anything they gave him unless it was homework or schoolwork related, speak when spoken too, dont do anything out of the ordinary, and come home.
Oh well 7 more years to go and he might get out on good behavior. LOL

Mods, if this post is against the rules, go ahead and delete it because in truth I just wanted to write it down.

 

[bluesaturn]

Would you like some cheese?

 

[beautybelle]

Sure, swiss please.

 

[bluesaturn]

Sure, swiss please.

 

[JennaTX]

Sorry you have had probelms with your child's teachers all of these years.

Both of my kids go to public school, and every single one of their teachers has been great! Sure the kids have had problems in school, but the teachers always worked with me together to make sure the kids were getting a good education.

As far as your nephew goes, he is in 4th grade and should know better than to say he has a bomb.

Last week I got a call from the VP, my DS in K was in her office. A girl in his class had found BB shells on the playground, DS wanted to see them and she didn't want to show him, so he told her the BB gun was his and it was in his backpack.

So yes, he got taken to the VP's office, and his backpack was searched. The VP understood that he was just trying to see the shells, but told me that even though he is a little guy, if it happened again, he would be suspended.

Unfortunately, this is what schools have to do in this day and age. If they take my 5 year old into the office, I would certainly expect them to take a 10 year old 4th grader into the office also, who should know better than saying anything like that.

 

[dizzymomx4]

I Totally understand all of your frustrations. ALL Of THEM! I too had similar problems at the school that my son attended.

The AR for reading, alot of schools have started that program and even though they think that it works, it doesn't. Since when is it okay to have children read books then wait to take the test on the computer, oh did I mention that there is only 1 in the class, yeah and there is never enough time to take the test to get the points that are needed to get a decent grade. Then if you dont get enought points you get to spend the only recess time that you get, durng lunch to yep, read some more. I am all for reading, love to read and so do my boys. What happened to reading and either writing a book report or telling the teacher orally about the book. Hum, worked for years...yep YEARS!

I had so many issues with our boys. We have four. Our 24 and 18 went to PS. Our 11 went to PS until 3rd grade and our dear 7 yo went a whopping 3 days! I finally took my gut feeling and started homeschooling. BEST THING EVER !!
We are in our second year. The boys love it, I love it. There are no longer struggles of homwork, or tears of why he didn't get done. There are no longer "I am the teacher, that's why" comments.
Maybe you should look into the support groups in your area and see what is available to you.
I know that we all sent the kids to public school because " THEY " tell us to, who are "THEY?"

I wish you the best for your family and may you follow where your heart leads.

 

[beautybelle]

Im not saying this in a snarky way but did you read the part where I said that THE SCHOOL gave him the present to begin with?

I mean, I would totally 100% agree with you if HE brought the present from home and they didnt already know what was in it but that wasnt the case.

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

I agree with Jenna about the nephew. He should have known better. Because of Columbine and other high profile attacks on schools, schools no longer have the option of looking the other way. Every single one of the shooters told people about their plan, and every single person thought they were just joking. There are federal and state laws now that address this and all threats must be reported. Because of these attacks schools have been forced to take a zero tolerance approach to such comments, and typically the students and parents are well informed. The nephew could have very easily been suspended for his comment, he is very lucky he wasn't.

I'm nto saying that schools shouldn't be allowed to exercise some common sense in these situations, just saying that in many instances that decision has beeen taken completely out of their hands and they have no choice but to take a zero tolerance approach to these kinds of threats.

OP, I'm sorry you're having such trouble with your school. I do take offense that you state that teachers don't care about kids. I'm not getting into this profession for the money, let me tell ya. Most of the teachers I work with care greatly for the students. I don't know what is going on in your area, but I hope you are able to find a satisfactory solution for your family.

 

[JennaTX]

Im not saying this in a snarky way but did you read the part where I said that THE SCHOOL gave him the present to begin with?

I mean, I would totally 100% agree with you if HE brought the present from home and they didnt already know what was in it but that wasnt the case.

Yes I read where THE SCHOOl gave it to him. I'm still not sure why he decided to say it was a bomb?

But with shootings at schools, what do you expect them to do? Seriously, what if it was a crazy teacher who did wrap up a bomb and it went off? Wouldn't you then be saying that the school did not do enough to protect your nephew, that he told them it was a bomb.

 

[beautybelle]

Dizzymomx4: There is nothing in this world I would love better than to join a HS group and have that support but unfortunately I live in such a remote place (we, well not me personally, still have outhouses around here and people living in cabins with no electricity, yep, its true) that there is like 3 PS to choose from and from what I can find there are about the same amount of people homeschooling, so there are no such groups around here. Ive checked around and I told our librarian that if they ever should be some families that want to start one to let me know (she's our boy scount leader too). But whether or not there are any groups I still may keep my daughter home.

 

[beautybelle]

OK Jenna, thanks for the input.

 

[Liann]

Hun mine are 12 and 16. I feel your pain. I have LOTS of stories all the way from Elementary schools allowing convicted child molestors on campus and IN the PTA (not just one) to a teacher using my kid as a teacher's aide in pre k (DS is above average) to bonking my kid(DD) on the noggin with a stuffed toy leaving a bump for not knowing the teachers favorite singer (Elvis btw) in KINDERGARTEN to DS being bullied and being told my kid (DS)should fit in better to begging the teachers to keep my DD back in 2nd grade cuz she was obviously behind only to be told she would catch up and be fine. (She's not and now in 7th grade struggling. Guess what they wanna do? Ya hold her back in her hormonal most important self esteem year.

I'm SO sick of these ppl acting like they know my children more than I do. JUST SICK!

In no way am I saying my children are perfect. They came from ME so I know they have issues lol. I just wish SOMEONE would actually listen to me. Heck, night before last I got an email from one of my DD's (12) teachers. She told me that my DD had been a turd for 2 days. (in nice words) and the last sentance basicly told me this- I tried, YOU deal with it. I was SO pissed. I had been to numerous conferences, written notes and emails, DD attends her tutoring ever Wed afternoon for an hour or more.

PLEASE don't get me wrong. I KNOW how frustrating my DD can be- TRUST ME. She hates to be wrong, She shuts down when she doesn't understand something instead of wanting to learn how it works. Gee, I dunno whee she gets it from.......

What I AM saying is that teaching and knowing how to teach my child is beyond me. (I mean educationwise) because I would NEVER assume myself to be lerned enough for that. It's why she goes to School instead of my homeschooling.

When my son was in 9th grade he took COLLEGE physics. I didn't go to college. How would I have helped or taught him anything? I rely on the system to teach my kids what they need to know. It's what I pay taxes for. It's part of the reason we are so damned broke. I RELY on their teachers SO much to help my children be more than I am.

Anyhoo, my reply to that email was me talking said teacher down from being frustrated. The reply back to me was "YAY! she got a B on the homework you helped her with!"

***????? I swear it took me 5 minutes to explain how to get circumferance with a pen and paper for my DD to get it.

(Of course it took me 20 minutes on the internet to learn how myself)

Aren't these ppl supposed to be learned professionals in dealing with our kids?

I'm having an off day and venting, bite me.

I honestly feel as if my DD12 has been passed along ONLY because her passing made the teacher prior look good. That leaves my DD in 7th grade and not ready for it. Who wants to bet she'll make it to the 8th grade by the skin of her teeth?

I can't afford private school and I can't afford something like Sylvan. Where does that leave my DD?

It's just not fair.

 

[dipin]

Are there teachers who won't work with parents because they are bad teachers? Sure

Are there teachers who can't work with parents because they have a ton of mandates and regulations that they must follow or the school will lose funds? Sure

And, worst of all, are the teachers who won't work with parents because half the parents are so sure they know what is best for their snowflake that they forget that there are at least a dozen other kids there, with parents who have very different ideas of what should be done? Sure.


In any given week, a teacher will receive complaints that they assign both too much homework and too little homework, that they allow for too much play time and too little play time, that they are too demanding and not demanding enough, that the kid is too bored and too overwhelmed. And all parents get equally frustrated, and all think it is the teacher's fault they are not getting their way.

 

[NYDisGuy]

My DW is a teacher and she always has massive amounts of emails from parents with specific instructions for their kid and how they should be handled etc. etc. It's just not possible anymore. Education cuts have limited the amount of 1 on 1 interaction between a teacher and student because of overcrowding in the classroom. Coupled with the increasing state and federal education guidelines and test grades, teachers have a ton to worry about every year. It might be impossible with scheduling but parents do need to be a part of their child's education. The teacher has a life outside of work too.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Where on earth do you live that you hate the schools that badly?
If your child is doing great and enjoys school then I don't really understand what your issues are. If you feel incompetent talking to the teacher then that is because you feel that way. Not because anyone made you feel that way. As far as volunteering in the classrooms etc. There is very limited amounts of that in most schools. It is a safety measure. I do not know you and not every parent is on the up and up. You have not been backround checked etc. Heck, you may not even be a nice person for all I know. (not saying you aren't but giving an example) There are plenty of things you can do to help your school without implementing yourself in their daily routine. It seems from your post that you want everything your way and you think that is the only right way.
As for the bomb situation. Well, there is zero tolerance now. Do I think it is overboard? Sure. Tell that to all the parents whose children have been hurt by something like that and they won't think it is overboard at all. Life is not the way it was when we were kids. Kids bring weapons to school, they try to blow things up, they are more than just mean now. Do you think you could joke about having a bomb at a local airport or any other public location nowadays? Yes, your nephew is a child, but at 4th grade level shouldn't he have a grasp on the fact that you cannot joke like that in school? It doesn't matter who gave it to him or even if they knew what the present was. The point was that he thought it was funny to say it was a bomb. How do they know that he isn't building one at home? With the internet these days kids can get a lot more information than they used to.
Do I think all teachers are awesome? No. Do I think most of them are pretty good. Absolutely. From reading your post it seems like your child is doing great and enjoys school but you don't because you had a preconceived notion that you would be at that school night and day. That has nothing to do with teachers. That has to do with you.
I wish you luck and hope that you can see that just because something isn't exactly how you pictured it doesn't mean it is not good or even great.
Good luck.

 

[disneyjunkie]

There is really no reason at all for me to post this other than to get it off my chest but may I say that I personally bitterly hate public schools and just about anything related with them. I hate to say this out loud but Im almost to a point that if someone tells me that they are a teacher im automatically on the defensive. Good grief, is there really any left that actually give a hoot if a child learns or not because if they are I would LOVE to meet one. I honestly dont think I can think of a place that has so many educated (cant write that here) in one spot as a public school building.

Let me explain a little more. We as a family really do try to abide and live by the rules. We really, really do. However, my ds is in the 5th grade this year and from the very day he started school its been nothing but one headache right after another.. Heck, I cant keep up with the rules there are so many of them and they're making more by the day. Its probably going to sound like my son may be the problem but my gripe isnt disiplinary related because he is a very good student with high grades and never causes any trouble, its all school policy junk.

The SOL thing is so off the charts that it would take me all day to complain about that. The absenteeism thing is almost as smart. Accelerated reading points being mandatory, yeah, thats a great way of instilling a love of reading. That was a great idea (yeah, right).

And then, God forbid, if you have to go in to talk with one of them about something, anything really, you get this im so educated and smart and you're the dumbest hillbilly to ever breath fresh air attitude. When all you can do is sit there with a smile plastered on your face agreeing with whatever in the hades they're saying because, really, does it do any good at all to try to talk to these people, well not in my experience.

Wouldnt you just love to say just one time "Wipe that holier than thou smirk off your face because all YOUR policys and rules are failing, its not ME!!) But 2 things stop me, one is I dont want her to go back and take it out on my son because she doesnt like me and the other is security. LOL But its a very nice thought.

I have to laugh a little when I see posts talking about how come parents and teachers cant work together (in a Walgreens world maybe) well its because once the kids start school they think they own them and they can lead the parents around by the nose rings. Most parents dont like this attitude and hence the friction. I can honestly remember before my son started school thinking that I would volunteer in the classrooms, join PTA, just help out and be supportive. It was all of a week before I realized what a rosey picture I had because school isnt like it was when I went and they dont want you in the vicinity of the school much less in the building.

I know they're a lot of teachers on this board and Ive never met you and you may just be wonderful and love kids, love your job, etc. that would be great and I sincerely apologize if I hurt anybody feelings but you obviously dont live where I do and I know I have flames coming but this is one issue where I honestly dont care. My care has officially run out as of today.

7 yrs (counting Pre-School & Kinder.) of TRYING to work WITH the school system and im just fed up. You have a problem and you (following the rules here) call and set up an appt with the teacher, you tell her what is wrong and would like to come up with a way to help the situation, nah, nah, nah, back up little girl, I'LL tell YOU how WE'RE going to handle the situation, you take your opinion and go on back home and live with it.

I really wish that we had more school options here but we live in a very remote area and there are 2 options, PS or HS. I would choose HS but my son loves going to school and being with his friends so HS is out for him. BUT my daughter is 2 and Im seriously thinking about never letting her set foot in a school building.

Yes, im p!ssed off as heck.

Go ahead and flame away but please dont tell me how bad the kids are vs. the teachers because I would be willing to bet my house that as bad as the kids are the teachers are as bad if not worse in most cases.

Oh and let me address the teacher appreciation thing before that gets going too. I would above anyone appreciate a good teacher, I really would. Just send us one and I will be the first in line.
Shew, I feel better. Im not sure how long Ive had that on my mind and Ive never let on to this extent how much I hate PS.

Oh and I HAVE to tell this one more story before I go. Now this is what I call smart. This past Christmas THE SCHOOL gave my nephew a Christmas present (he's very low income so he qualified for some sort of program) now keep in mind THEY gave it to him. Well hes in the 4th grade and told his buddies that it could be a bomb. One of the buddies told the teacher what he said and she took the present and him to the principals office and they called the police and the mom. Well when mom gets there they have the boy in a chair and a pair of handcuffs on the table in front of him and the principal and police are all telling him that he could go to jail for remarks like that. The kid was scared to death. Mom asks where he got the gift to begin with and they told her at school. OK now (well this is where they probably would've had to put the handcuffs on me to keep me from choking somebody silly) I could not believe, well I guess I can, that this could happen. If I give you a gift im pretty much gonna know what I put in it and then you turn around and tell me that its a bomb, well correct me if im wrong here but wouldnt you disagree with that person and say NO its not, its a teddybear (or whatever). I cant say that I would start screaming and run for my life. Geez am I missing something. I know that common sense is pretty much extinct but good grief these people run, actually run, a school. But anyway they suspended nephew for 2 weeks. Mom took the present and threw it at the principal and told her to NEVER give her son nothing else as long as he was in her school. The nephew was told to never, ever, under any circumstances to utter the B word at school. Not even playing.

I told my son to never take anything they gave him unless it was homework or schoolwork related, speak when spoken too, dont do anything out of the ordinary, and come home.
Oh well 7 more years to go and he might get out on good behavior. LOL

Mods, if this post is against the rules, go ahead and delete it because in truth I just wanted to write it down.

You're the parent.

If you think the school is a toxic place, pull your son and home school him.

Why would you allow your son to have the final say in something you feel so strongly about?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Why would your nephew claim to have a bomb? That is pretty odd.

And yes, schools have to follow procedure on a claim like this.

I cannot see any public or private school for that matter not suspending him to be honest.

They take this seriously.

 

[tw1nsmom]

There are a lot of problems in our public schools, BUT...

MOST of the teachers are caring professionals doing their best to educate our children.

MOST of the children are good kids who may make some mistakes at times, but overall do their best.


SOME of my fellow parents need to adjust their meds.

 

[Cindy B]

Absenteeism is tied in with federal funds. If the school has a high absenteeism rate, there will be lack of funds. (Of course this has to do with the type of school, type of aide it receives, etc.)

AR is a criterion referenced system. It works for most districts. Do I love it? No. There is not a true customizable program for every Suzy and Steven Snowflake that is in the system.

I care about my kids. I cared so much that I stood outside a GANG ridden urban environment to wait with my student at dismissal so nothing happened to him. Maybe I was the crazy white lady-- but NO ONE bothered us. If I didn't care, I would have ran to my car at the dismissal bell (like most other teachers). I stayed outside and waited. I would not have wanted a drive by or an accident to occur with this child if I knew I could have prevented that.

Was it scary? Heck yes. Especially when it gets dark early and the slow silence of the urban neighborhood creeps up on you.. (it's usually around 4 pm). But I still waited.

 

[dimimi]

Im not saying this in a snarky way but did you read the part where I said that THE SCHOOL gave him the present to begin with?

I mean, I would totally 100% agree with you if HE brought the present from home and they didnt already know what was in it but that wasnt the case.

Our schools make it clear via letters home and talk to kids...this kind of talk is unacceptable and is handled in a clear matter. School safety is number 1 and you can't make exceptions. Think about the school shootings...MOST of them had warning comments made and unreported. Schools must protect themselves and the other kids. Yes it sounds unreasonable...until they are wrong and don't think something is a big deal...then it is a big deal!

You didn't really give a set example of what upset you...besides your nephew.