Another WWYD situation

[ilovefh]

The other night I was walking with my friend and two males holding hands passed us. She immediately started talking about how they shouldn't do that in public, that it's gross...etc. You get my drift. For me this came out of left field. I had no idea she felt this way. Her feelings on this are very strong to say the least.

I just didn't know what to say to her so I said nothing. Didn't agree or disagree. What would you say to your friend in this situation? Would you say anything or just change the subject?

A bit of back story....we are very good friends and I wouldn't let our disagreement about this one issue ruin our friendship, but I was just VERY surprised she felt this way.

 

[hidmickey:myantidrug]

I would have said "really?" in a conversational way so it didn't seem like you were judging her. Since you two are very good friends, I would think it wouldn't be that weird to just open up a conversation about it.

 

[Handbag Lady]

The other night I was walking with my friend and two males holding hands passed us. She immediately started talking about how they shouldn't do that in public, that it's gross...etc. You get my drift. For me this came out of left field. I had no idea she felt this way. Her feelings on this are very strong to say the least.

I just didn't know what to say to her so I said nothing. Didn't agree or disagree. What would you say to your friend in this situation? Would you say anything or just change the subject?

A bit of back story....we are very good friends and I wouldn't let our disagreement about this one issue ruin our friendship, but I was just VERY surprised she felt this way.

I would have been floored and I would have said so to her.

She probably thinks you agree with her since you didn't say anything.

 

[DISshopkeeper]

I think I would have handled it the same way you did. If she feels that strongly, you will not be able to change her mind. And that type of argument can be ugly in a friendship-ending sort of way.

She's entitled to her opinion, as are you.

 

[DISshopkeeper]

She probably thinks you agree with her since you didn't say anything.

Respectfully disagree. My first thought was that I am sure she got the message when you did NOT agree.

 

[ilovefh]

I would have been floored and I would have said so to her.

She probably thinks you agree with her since you didn't say anything.

She now knows I don't agree. My son occasionally picks princess things over more "boy" themed things (he only 22 months). When she saw this one day she said "why do you let him have that? You're not afraid he's going to be gay?" To which I replied that I don't care as long as he's happy in life and whoever he chooses to spend his life with treats him well.

 

[ashley0139]

I feel very strongly about this subject, so I would have had no problem telling her I disagreed with her.

 

[pixiewings71]

I wouldn't have had any problems telling her I disagreed either. lol I'm sorry OP.

 

[RunningGirl]

I think I'd say "Really? Doesn't bother me at all." and move along. Like a PP said, you probably are not going to change your mind, but I think it's important to make a statement against prejudice or you are implying by your silence that you think it's okay.

 

[luvmy3]

I would have said what's gross, did one of them step in something?

 

[Art 1]

I agree with your friend but in your case I would have just let it go. It's just something that I don't care to see.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

I feel very strongly about this subject, so I would have had no problem telling her I disagreed with her.

I agree. I wouldn't be friends with someone with whom I felt I couldn't express my core values.

 

[bdcp]

I think she's entitled to her opinion, just as you are.

 

[Teresa Pitman]

I would have said something - I would have been too shocked not to! I would probably have said "I don't think there is anything 'gross' about it at all, and I think they have the right to hold hands in public just as much as any other couple."

Sure, she is entitled to her opinion, but when she expresses it like that (and rather forcefully, describing two men holding hands as "gross") then I think I would want to let her know that I disagreed. To not say anything sounds, to me, as though you are accepting it.

Her comments about your 22-month-old son are pretty silly, too. Yes, that's what causes homosexuality - toddlers who play with princess toys.

TP

 

[sharbear]

I would have said, doesn't bug me. I feel pretty strongly in the opposite direction as her. But then, her comments would bug me as much as if she had said a racial epitaph.

I feel everyone has a right to their opinion but I don't need them to broadcast it.

 

[bellebud]

She now knows I don't agree. My son occasionally picks princess things over more "boy" themed things (he only 22 months). When she saw this one day she said "why do you let him have that? You're not afraid he's going to be gay?" To which I replied that I don't care as long as he's happy in life and whoever he chooses to spend his life with treats him well.

she doesn't sound very bright. Does she REALLY think a 22 month old boy could become gay by playing w/ a princess themed item??

 

[minkydog]

I think it depends on the situation. I ran into some virulent anti-gay talk when I went to visit an elderly cousin. While we were talking about family, the subject of my nephew came up. My nephew is 22yo and has been in a monogamous relationship with a very nice gentleman. In fact, when DNephew got deathly ill with stage 4 lymphoma, his parter carefully nursed him through months of chemo. He's doing much better now and they are very happy together. My cousin went on a tirade about how gays are going to hell and what an abomination they are, on and on...At first I just listened politely. When she took a breath, i was able to interject that I believe, as a Christian, that we are called to love everyone, even people we disagree with. I pointed out that DNephew is a man of character who is trying hard to pay for his own college education, takes care of animals, and calls his grandma every weekend. Cousin backed off, but clearly there was no changing her mind. I opted to just sit tight and let it go. I was a guest in their home and there was no reason to be difficult. I was leaving the next day anyway, so I just let the matter drop.

OP, I probably would have handled it the same way you did. But I think I would bring it up later,after you've had a chance to think things through. Is this a friendship deal breaker? Do you need to set some boundaries, making the subject off limits? I don't know whether I'd drop the friend or not, but her views would definitely drop her to a 3rd or 4th tier.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I feel very strongly about this subject, so I would have had no problem telling her I disagreed with her.

Same here.

 

[goofyintoronto]

Clearly your friend is homophobic. I would flat out tell her i don't agree and that type of gay bashing/talk really bothers you. Id ask her to keep her opinions to herself. So rude. Esp the thing with your sons choice of toys. She seriously needs to get out more. She honestly thinks you can become gay by playing with princess dolls at the age of 2? I feel sorry for her! (ok not really). Totally clueless woman!

 

[ugadog99]

This is an issue I have very, very strong feelings about. There is no way I could have kept quiet about it!