Another what would you do?

[hiwaygal]

I got invited to a wedding shower today. It's at a nearby restaurant and we have to pay for our own meal (no biggie).

I do not know the bride. I do not know the groom. I'm "casual" friends with the grooms mother.

The couple is registered at Target.

I kinda feel like I have to go to this shower, and I would guess I really shouldn't show up without a gift . I just don't know how much I should spend on a gift. I'm thinking $20 or $25...what do you think?

 

[ilovejack02]

$25 gift card.

Ok now im gonna say it, who the heck has a bridal shower and expect folks to pay for their own lunch!!!???
RUDE BEYOND WORDS!!

 

[yo-ho-yo-ho]

I'd turn down the invite !!

 

[korbbec]

I would skip out. You do not know either person and you have to pay for your own meal. Just RSVP that you have somewhere else to be.

 

[hiwaygal]

I understand about not going...but like I said, I kinda feel like I have to be there. I will be seeing the grooms mother (my friend) later tonight at another function. And at this point, I think it's too late to RSVP.

 

[freckles and boo]

If the only person I would know would be the groom's mom, I would politely turn down the invitation (and the opportunity to pay for my own lunch) but would probably send a gift card or something. I remember my mother-in-law inviting all her friends to my forced, post-elopement reception, and although I was grateful, I felt very guilty accepting gifts from people I didn't know.

 

[aprilgail2]

No way would I go to a shower where I had to pay for myself, what the heck kind of shower is that?? How tacky!!! I would buy a gift and drop it off at the house after the shower but I would not go to anything that tacky.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

You didn't happen to forget that bowling tournament that you have going on today, did you?

 

[luvflorida]

I'm thinking $20 or $25...what do you think?

I'm thinking I'd tell the mother that, fortunately, I have money to spend on a gift, but unfortunately, I have to use it to pay for my meal at a wedding shower this afternoon.

 

[liamsaunt]

Well, if it were me I would turn down the invite, but you say that you can't so my advice is to go to the lunch and just buy a small gift for the bride. Since you have to pay for the lunch I would say you don't even need to spend $25 if you don't want to. You could just get her something small and practical for the kitchen--some dishtowels, or a set of wooden spoons or measuring cups or something like that. Kitchen stuff is very appropriate for a shower gift.

 

[powellrj]

I would give a gift certificate to the restaurant you are eating in and then tell the host they can use it to pay for my meal! Just kidding, I think under the circumstances a $20 gift card to Target would be fine.

 

[GJM]

I would turn it down, I have never been invited to a shower where I had to pay for my own meal.

One shower I went to a couple of years ago, had the envelopes for the thank you cards at your place setting, we had to write our address on the envelope.

I just didn't like that - I had 80 people at my shower and wrote out each thank you card & the envelope.

 

[disykat]

I don't care what kind of shower it was, if I didn't know the guest of honor (or her husband to be) I wouldn't be going.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

You got invited today? I wouldn't go but that is me.

I would just give a small gift or a gift card, 20.00 would be fine. I wouldn't go over that.

 

[crz4mm2]

"Casual " friends of the groom's mother?

I am not even inviting casual friends to my DIL to be's shower.....

I wouldn't go either.
Now, if it was a GOOD friend's son that was getting married, That is a whole different story!

 

[hiwaygal]

You got invited today? I wouldn't go but that is me.

I would just give a small gift or a gift card, 20.00 would be fine. I wouldn't go over that.

No, I wasn't invited today...the shower is today.

I received the invite about two weeks ago. I'm not completely blameless...I never RSVP'd (and I know I should have...there are million excuses why I didn't, but they are just excuses).

My friend called the other day to ask if I was going. DH answered (I was at work) and he didn't know what I was going to do. Again, I had the opportunity to RSVP, but didn't (more excuses). So...now I'm going to the shower.

 

[barkley]

I would turn it down, I have never been invited to a shower where I had to pay for my own meal.

One shower I went to a couple of years ago, had the envelopes for the thank you cards at your place setting, we had to write our address on the envelope.

I just didn't like that - I had 80 people at my shower and wrote out each thank you card & the envelope.

try getting an invitation with the bride's registry list enclosed-and an item highlighted with the words 'this is the gift you will bring' can ya tell i did'nt go to that one??? also caught wind of the plans for another bridal shower i was invited too -the 'games' were going to be replaced with a session of preaddressing thank-you notes for all of the guests at the previous showers she'd had, as well as those she anticipated would be gifting her with wedding gifts. that shower also got a 'no' from me.

as for the op-i would'nt go, would'nt feel i needed to make an excuse-just 'sorry i can't make it'.

anyone want to start a poll on how many of think that not only will the guests pay for their own lunch-but they will all get hit up to contribute to cover the brides as well?

 

[Cantw8]

Do you want to go? I know you said you feel like you "have" to but do you want to? If you do then you should go and I think I $25 gift card is fine

 

[FayeW]

try getting an invitation with the bride's registry list enclosed-and an item highlighted with the words 'this is the gift you will bring' can ya tell i did'nt go to that one??? also caught wind of the plans for another bridal shower i was invited too -the 'games' were going to be replaced with a session of preaddressing thank-you notes for all of the guests at the previous showers she'd had, as well as those she anticipated would be gifting her with wedding gifts. that shower also got a 'no' from me.

as for the op-i would'nt go, would'nt feel i needed to make an excuse-just 'sorry i can't make it'.

anyone want to start a poll on how many of think that not only will the guests pay for their own lunch-but they will all get hit up to contribute to cover the brides as well?

What the heck has happened in the world since I got married nearly 17 years ago??? I cannot even fathom where somebody would get the nerve to do either of those. WOW!

 

[Shugardrawers]

Well if you really feel you must go I suggest giving her a copy of Emily Post's latest book. Maybe she'll share it with her future MIL Please tell me you didn't go.