another pregnant, non-married celebrity

[Mickey76]

Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone.

It could have been worse. It could have been a one night stand and she may have never have known who the father was for sure.

I hope the baby is healthy and has a happy, happy life.


Mickey76

 

[noel]

I just find it so amazing that so many people feel what is right for them should be right for everyone else.

For me personally there is not anything I hold more sacred than my marriage. My husband is the most amazing person I've ever known and for me to live without him would be like living without air.

But that doesn't mean I think an unmarried couple (whether there are kids involved or not) need to "pony up" and get married to prove they're truly committed to each other.
It's none of my business and I have no right to judge IMHO.

 

[goofygirl]

the committment of marriage is not the same as the committment of having a child.

True. The committment of having a child is MUCH bigger than a marriage committment. So how can one handle the intense, lifelong committment to a child (you can't even divorce a child like a spouse!) if they can't even commit to a marriage which is less of a committment?

And holy cow!- I actually agree with something DawnCt AND Deb in IA said! I just know some pigs are going to be flying by this window any minute....


But I still think cats rule over kids, so don't get TOO excited!

I don't think anyone here is really advocating getting married, even to the wrong person JUST to have children. I think the point is to wait and find the right person, take the time to commit to them in every way, and THEN when you are solid in your marriage, start a family. The best things in life aren't rushed. They come to those who wait.

 

[Mskanga]

Originally posted by DawnCt
We need a little piece of paper to drive a car, a piece of paper to leave the country, a piece of paper if you work in a licensed profession, a piece of paper to prove that we were even born, a piece of paper to prove you own the home you bought, that you graduated from high school or college, and in the end, a death certificate to prove you don't exist anymore, BUT for some reason a "piece of paper" signifying marriage prior to having a baby is "just an insignificant" piece of paper.

I never knew a license was needed to have a child and love him/her.
There are things that I consider much worse than this, but since I don't live other people's lives, I really don't care what they do.

There are a lot of people out there who have several kids by different fathers , there are people out there who had sex with more than the person who they married. If I was to stop talking to all the people I know in those circumstances, there would be very few people I would talk to.

 

[GAIL HAYDEN]

Originally posted by goofygirl
True. The committment of having a child is MUCH bigger than a marriage committment. So how can one handle the intense, lifelong committment to a child (you can't even divorce a child like a spouse!) if they can't even commit to a marriage which is less of a committment?

And holy cow!- I actually agree with something DawnCt AND Deb in IA said! I just know some pigs are going to be flying by this window any minute....


But I still think cats rule over kids, so don't get TOO excited!

I don't think anyone here is really advocating getting married, even to the wrong person JUST to have children. I think the point is to wait and find the right person, take the time to commit to them in every way, and THEN when you are solid in your marriage, start a family. The best things in life aren't rushed. They come to those who wait.

There is no comparison between the committment of having a child and one of marriage. Some people don't want to commit to marriage but, want children. Some people want to commit to marriage but don't want children. Saying if one cannot commit to marriage they cannot commit to parenthood is a concept I cannot see. And, IMHO, any committment should not be entered into lightly. Both these issues require a great deal of thought and desire.
True, we have paper for everything, but, those papers are because there are laws that require them. There is no law that requires someone to be married to have a child. (sorry that this got tagged to your post, but, I did not feel like doing another post to address them).
Your point about waiting and finding the right person, etc. is fine, for you and others, but, not to everyone else. I respect your opinion on this, totally, but, I also respect the rights of others to do as they see fit with their lives. I refuse to inflict my sense or morality (or lack there of) on others. Not my job.

But I still think cats rule over kids, so don't get TOO excited!

Not too excited, but, in a lot of ways, I do agree, but, I would add dogs and horses too.

 

[Jasminesmommy]

After all the bad in her life I am happy she has something good to look forward too. I had gotten pregnant before marrage and married the daddy. My sister is now pregnant and being pressured from family to marry before the baby is born. I told her to think about it before she puts herself in a marriage that may not last since she has been with the guy since she was 16 she is 18 now.

Did everyone forget Mary and Joseph were not married when Jesus was born.

 

[browneyes]

Cool, I must be a role model for Gwyneth.

GG, birth control methods are not 100%. I was on the pill for 3 1/2 years when I got pregnant with my dd.

 

[GAIL HAYDEN]

Originally posted by Jasminesmommy
After all the bad in her life I am happy she has something good to look forward too. I had gotten pregnant before marrage and married the daddy. My sister is now pregnant and being pressured from family to marry before the baby is born. I told her to think about it before she puts herself in a marriage that may not last since she has been with the guy since she was 16 she is 18 now.

Did everyone forget Mary and Joseph were not married when Jesus was born.

Well, yes, I remembered that, but, did you forget Joseph was NOT the father? I believe God was/is.

 

[poohandwendy]

I couldn't care less about what Gwyneth Paltrow does with her life...but as to all of the discussion about the difference between committing a marriage and having a child....

sorry, but if you choose to have a child you still have tied yourself, forever, to the person who fathered that child. Unless you adopt, hide the pregnancy froim the father or he ignores his responsibility, you have most certainly made a commitment with him...you will have to deal with him as long as the child lives (at least in some respects).

IMO, the ideal situation is 2 stable, married parents. Many different situations work out great. But that doesn't mean they are ideal. Anything is better than an abusive or unhappy home. But anything more than that doesn't equal ideal.

 

[mamajoan]

Originally posted by goofygirl


And holy cow!- I actually agree with something DawnCt AND Deb in IA said! I just know some pigs are going to be flying by this window any minute....


But I still think cats rule over kids, so don't get TOO excited!

goofygirl......... I am still ROTFLMAO!! Really! Thank you so much for the late night giggle... this quote alone was worth opening this thread.

 

[aprilgail2]

I had a child 4 years ago, I am single, she was totally planned and I totally planned to be a single parent. I have no desire to get married (and no I am not gay), but I love kids and wanted at least one....well I had her and I am now starting the process of overseas adoption of another child. My daughter is a happy kid, well adjusted and surrounded by family and friends and neighbors that adore her. Her uncle is wild about her and is over to see her 5 times a week, my neighbors(50 years old) are crazy about her and come over every day to visit her and play. She is not lacking in people who love her and is in a stable home. I make decent money and she goes to a very nice preschool and on Disney vacations so its not like I am having kids and going on welfare. As long as we are happy that is enough for me as far as I am concerned. I think she is better off growing up in a single family home than these kids who have to grow up with parents fighting all the time or the children of divorced parents who get shuffled back and forth every other weekend or hearing one parent bad mouth the other....

 

[Lorix2]

Celebrity or not, married or not, it's her choice. I personally think she'll be a great mother. It's none of our business either way.

Congrats Gwenyth

 

[poohandwendy]

At the risk of being flamed,

What is ironic to me is parents who would never accept anything but the very best for their children, the best schools, the best clothes, the best home, the most qualified childcare etc...argue that children don’t need 2 parents. That one parent is better than an abusive or unhappy 2 parent home. Why set the standard so low, when the standards are so high in every other respect?

Why not aim for offering your children EVERYTHING? Seems to me that some people are more willing to wait for financial stability than relationship stablity for their children. That doesn't make much sense to me.

I am not talking about situations of divorce or unintended pregnancy, but when a person specifically chooses to get pregnant and go it alone. The argument I keep hearing always starts with "I wanted..."

This is only my opinion and everyone has the right to do things however they want. It just seems so ironic that so many people think that children do not need 2 parents. Well, they don't need the best clothes or most expensive toys, but that doesn't stop people from making those 'things' a priority...

 

[poohandwendy]

Well, yes, I remembered that, but, did you forget Joseph was NOT the father? I believe God was/is.

Since the issue was brought up.... God provided Jesus with 2 parents to raise him, even though 2 were not physically necessary to create Him.

 

[Lucky4me]

quote:

"Why not aim for offering your children EVERYTHING? Seems to me that some people are more willing to wait for financial stability than relationship stablity for their children. That doesn't make much sense to me."


Because relationship stability may never happen for some. Does that mean they cannot or should not be parents?
I know several single parent families where the children are just as loved, nurtured and well adjusted as children from 2 parent families.

 

[believe]

I just don't understand what is the big deal about getting married. If a piece of paper is so insignificant, then what is the big deal about getting the paper?

Also, if I didn't marry someone...say because I didn't truly love them...then why would I want a child with their characteristics.

Three of my siblings have had children out of wedlock....I don't judge them for it and am very happy to enjoy the lives of my nieces and nephews. It doesn't mean I agree with it.

 

[poohandwendy]

Because relationship stability may never happen for some. Does that mean they cannot or should not be parents?

Why not make it a priority if you want children? People certainly have no problem making financial stability a priority in their lives.

I know several single parent families where the children are just as loved, nurtured and well adjusted as children from 2 parent families.

I am not making the case that it cannot be done. I am talking about the irony of wanting to provide everything for your child...with the exception of 2 parents.

 

[Mskanga]

What is ironic to me is parents who would never accept anything but the very best for their children, the best schools, the best clothes, the best home, the most qualified childcare etc...argue that children don’t need 2 parents. That one parent is better than an abusive or unhappy 2 parent home. Why set the standard so low, when the standards are so high in every other respect?

Marriage is not something for everyone, there are single people out there adopting children because they want to have a baby, yet I don't see anyone saying they should get married, instead we praise what a nice thing to do and it is a nice thing to do, what's the difference with having a biological child and not be married? you can still have a loving relationship.

Well, they don't need the best clothes or most expensive toys, but that doesn't stop people from making those 'things' a priority...

Not everyone has those priorities.

Why not aim for offering your children EVERYTHING? Seems to me that some people are more willing to wait for financial stability than relationship stablity for their children.

You can have all relationship stability that you want , but if there's no financial stability , there will be no relationship stability.
Couples argue over money , they always have and always will at some point in their lives. For some people it's easier to have financial stability than a relationship, why so many requirements? With or without a piece of paper, people can love the same way.

 

[moinab]

The fact of the matter is, children don't need 2 parents to survive, or even thrive. They need food, water, and shelter to survive. They need someone to love them and teach them in order to thrive. Are they better off if they are in a stable, loving, two parent family? Of course they are. I'd be better off if I had Gwyneth Paltrow's looks and money, but I'm doing ok as I am.

With the rates of divorce, infidelity, and spousal abuse, it seems to me that there are a whole lot of married people out there who shouldn't be married. If the only people who reproduced were people in healthy, happy marriages, the birth rates would plummet drastically. Of course, that's a whole 'nother debate.

 

[poohandwendy]

Marriage is not something for everyone, there are single people out there adopting children because they want to have a baby, yet I don't see anyone saying they should get married, instead we praise what a nice thing to do and it is a nice thing to do, what's the difference with having a biological child and not be married? you can still have a loving relationship.

Actually, in my post, I didn't mention marriage at all. I was talking about 1 vs 2 parents.

Not everyone has those priorities.

Most people want the 'best' for their children. I wonder why 2 loving parents isn't necessarily a priority anymore.

Couples argue over money , they always have and always will at some point in their lives. For some people it's easier to have financial stability than a relationship, why so many requirements? With or without a piece of paper, people can love the same way.

Not all couples argue over money, even those with little of it. Why so many requirements? Why do we have so many requirements when we hire a babysitter? I say, why set the standards low enough not to have a stable relationship before choosing to bring a child into the world? The answer always seems to start with "I want"... And again...I wasn't talking about marriage.