another pregnant, non-married celebrity

[Rock'n Robin]

Thanks Tinks, I am not slamming single parents as role models--I know a few who are wonderful moms in spite of circumstanc--I am saying celebrities should not be role models. I believe this in many areas, especially when they have kids without benefit of wedlock. I do want to add that if this is an "accident" (I hate that term) I agree it is better to have the child--but some of these couples make a conscious decision to stay together and have a family without being married--ala Kurt and Goldie. And sometimes it backfires--in this week's People, it has an article about Mary Louise Parker and her BF who decided to have a child together, but now have split up and are awaiting the birth separately.
I just try to get through to my own girls that having kids is something you do when you are married. If you aren't married, as another poster said, that is what birth control is for. Yes I know it doesn't always work (which is where that horrible term "accident" comes in) and I know my idea of the perfect family is very old fashioned, and yes one good single parent is better than two bad parents, but if you are in love WHY NOT GET MARRIED and prove it in the sight of God (or insert your diety here) and everybody, regardless of taxes, and then have babies?
Robin M.

 

[Planogirl]

Originally posted by preshi
I'm happy for her... I don't see anything wrong with it. She's in love and she's been with him for a year and she seems like a very well educated and stable individual. Plus she's in her 30's correct? She's not 15 or anything.

Plus it's not my job to judge what others do with thier lives.

Congrats Gwenyth.

I couldn't put it any better.

 

[Princess_Aurora]

I think celebs can get through it a lot easier. A lot of actresses don't have time to meet Mr. Right but still want to be mothers. As long as they be sure to make time for that baby instead of having nannies raise him/her that's fine with me. They have the money to be single parents. I think in Hollywood it's a lot different than it is in our life. I mean, if they get married and then end up getting divorced later on, they risk going through so much bad PR so I can see how it would be better for actors and actresses not to get married but for women it's harder because they still have that urge to have a family. And I guess part of the reason I don't see it as a big deal is b/c I had my first baby when I was unmarried...and in high school at that.

 

[DawnCt]

Originally posted by goofygirl
Is she pregnant by that guy from Coldplay she was dating?

Yes, I agree it would be nice if people got married first before they got pregnant. Birth control isn't that hard to use, especially if you are a star and you can afford plenty of it! I guess I am too "old fashioned" anymore! It annoys me not just when stars do this, but when anyone does this, as I don't buy the "well these things DO happen" excuse. What gets me is when women who do this say, "Well we didn't want to get married, its too much of a committment." Well, what do they think having a child is? I also don't get why a woman would want to have a child with a man she doesn't even want to marry. In that case, she may as well use a sperm bank, or adopt a child.

Wow Goofygirl, is this a first!? I agree with ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING you said! Even birds know enough to build a nest before laying their eggs...(or other birds)

 

[preshi]

BTW none of us will know if this was or was not planned and if they do or do not plan on getting married... and also it's none of our business.

She's been very private about her personal life and I actually congratulate her for that. Alot of young celebs these days go from dating one person in the spotlight to another with all of it out there for us to see.

It really does interest me how a little piece of paper can get people in such an uproar..

 

[Robinrs]

Robin I do understand what you're saying but the way it was put certainly can hit to the core.

I do understand that the world is FAR from perfect but we must be careful how we reflect on it. Your daughters will know from your actions and your responses how you feel and hopefully they will not see celebrities as role models and see you as one. I also hope that you will be the understanding parent IF this does happen in your world.

BTW, my oldest sister has been married for 40 years to the same man and her family is more dysfunctional than any in my family, including all kinds of abuse and more than I can mention on this board. My other sister had a child out of wedlock who is an investment banker in San Francisco and a graduate of Stanford University. They have a wonderful relationship and are both successes in their fields and life.

I'm sure it doesn't fit the "norm" but what does? The haphazard way marriage is treated in Hollywood is more of disgusting to me than what Gwyneth is doing.

 

[luv2nascar]

Judge not unless you would liked to be judged also
Although I think marriage first is the best option
lets face it - it doesn't always happen that way
Let's applaud her for choosing life and not one of the other options she has available to her
I'm sure lots of other people in hollywood would or have choose something quite different for a pregnancy outcome
Life is precious celebrate every new born baby no matter how they come into the world

 

[DawnCt]

Originally posted by preshi

It really does interest me how a little piece of paper can get people in such an uproar..

We need a little piece of paper to drive a car, a piece of paper to leave the country, a piece of paper if you work in a licensed profession, a piece of paper to prove that we were even born, a piece of paper to prove you own the home you bought, that you graduated from high school or college, and in the end, a death certificate to prove you don't exist anymore, BUT for some reason a "piece of paper" signifying marriage prior to having a baby is "just an insignificant" piece of paper. I guess I just don't understand the uproar of those who don't think its important.

 

[Disney845]

Originally posted by Rock'n Robin
but if you are in love WHY NOT GET MARRIED and prove it in the sight of God (or insert your diety here) and everybody, regardless of taxes, and then have babies?
Robin M.

Maybe because not everyone in the world feels as though they have to "prove" themselves to ANYONE much less a religious icon (especially if they happen to not belive in one). In the case of people who have little or no religious beliefs, what is the purpose of marriage other than to "conform" to the preconceived view that society has placed on "coupledom."

I am not saying I am anti-marriage, or do not feel that a two-parent married couple is "optimal" for children...but really it is only that way because of the stigma placed on children born out of wedlock. If society itself did not have such hang-ups about what is "right and proper" would it really matter so much?

I would not be so presumptuous to determine what is or is not acceptable "role-model" behavior from stars (or the other single mothers who I believe were lumped into the poor role model category). But if I had children...which I don't...I think that a couple such as Kurt and Goldie who have been together in a loving, seemingly committed relationship for many years (where they support each other's children) is much more preferable than a couple who marry, have a child together and then get involved in a messy divorce and custody battle.

 

[Deb in IA]

Originally posted by preshi

It really does interest me how a little piece of paper can get people in such an uproar..

Sorry, Meagan, but you've hit one of my pet peeves.

Marriage is NOT just a little piece of paper.

Marriage is a legally binding relationship between one man and one woman, mutually exclusive, and, in theory, at least, based on a deep love and attachment.

Marriage carries with it certain assumptions of survivorship, ability to make medical decisions for each other, inheritance, and financial responsibilites.

And like it or not, pieces of paper are of utmost importance in our lives.

We entered this world with a piece of paper, and will leave this world with a piece of paper (a birth certificate, a death certificate).

If we are stopped by police officers when driving our car, we'd better have a couple of certain pieces of paper (or plastic, now a days).

Without a piece of paper in the form of a deed, we do not own our homes.

Without a piece of paper in the form of our checking account, we cannot bank or withdraw our money.

Pieces of paper in the form money or checks are used every day for the necessities of life.

Anyone who has marched across a stage and received a diploma will tell you that is a very important piece of paper.



Pieces of paper define our lives, whether we like it or not. Marriage is no different.


(I must have been typing at the same time Dawnct was . . . )

 

[jipsy]

Those who sit on the highest horse,
fall the furthest,
hurt the worst.

 

[Lucky4me]

Originally posted by snoopy
Yup.

Double yup.
Make room for me in that glass house. Our daughter was 3 when we married.

 

[preshi]

Basically what I'm saying is if two responsible , loving people want to have a child why should they need to have a piece of paper saying that they will be together?

Maybe I just don't get it because I don't believe God or whomever. No law states that you have to have the certificate to have babies. So that just makes it a moral thing...


All of the things Deb stated can be achieved between two loving people without a legally binding certificate.

As for all the other "little pieces of paper" none of them are what we are talking about here but thanks for the examples.

 

[MHopkins2]

I think if you're emotionally, physically, and financially ready to have a baby, more power to you. I don't know anything about the first two in Gwyneth's case, but I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt, and I'd say the third is not an issue. Frankly I'd rather see her have a baby than some of the married people I know who are "expecting."

 

[Beauty]

I think if you're emotionally, physically, and financially ready to have a baby, more power to you. I don't know anything about the first two in Gwyneth's case, but I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt, and I'd say the third is not an issue. Frankly I'd rather see her have a baby than some of the married people I know who are "expecting."

I agree 100% with the above. DH and I got pregnant before he was even out of high school! Were we ready, nope and we made it and are still happy.

In Gwen's place, she is rich, successful etc....why shouldn't she have a baby if she wants. There are PLENTY of people out there getting married JUST BECAUSE the women is pregnant and then they are stuck in a horrible marriage and no one is happy. I say more power to her.

 

[disykat]

I believe a stable two parent family is ideal. However if I had an "accidental" pregnancy I would have kept the baby and been a single mom - although that is not likely since I personally don't believe in sex outside of marriage. Had I not married I probably would have adopted. I don't see anything "wrong" with single parenthood - but I think celebrities have a much easier time at that job than most of us would because of their large incomes.

I never really got the whole Murphy Brown hype. I didn't feel like she glorified single parenting, I felt like she made the best out of a surprise pregnancy.

 

[floridaminnie]

I was planning on marrying DD's father when I became pregnant. We ended up not getting married, b/c I was pregnant. If we had married, it would have been a marriage NOT made in heaven. It would have been you know what! I had my daughter and raising her basically on my own right now. It is the most important job in the world to me. Would I prefer to have been married. Yes. Just not with her father!

 

[GAIL HAYDEN]

Originally posted by Rock'n Robin
Gwyneth Paltrow is pregnant according to E! online. Good for her, but I wish these people would remember to get married first. Is it any wonder the institution of marriage is getting such bad press? It really drives home the point that these people are NOT role models.
Robin M.

they are entertainers, not role models. Luckily, it is a free country and if anyone wishes to become a parent without benefit of some stupid piece of paper, more power to them, it is their right. You do not need to be married to provide a stable homelife. A child needs two parents, that is it.

 

[GAIL HAYDEN]

Originally posted by goofygirl
Is she pregnant by that guy from Coldplay she was dating?

Yes, I agree it would be nice if people got married first before they got pregnant. Birth control isn't that hard to use, especially if you are a star and you can afford plenty of it! I guess I am too "old fashioned" anymore! It annoys me not just when stars do this, but when anyone does this, as I don't buy the "well these things DO happen" excuse. What gets me is when women who do this say, "Well we didn't want to get married, its too much of a committment." Well, what do they think having a child is? I also don't get why a woman would want to have a child with a man she doesn't even want to marry. In that case, she may as well use a sperm bank, or adopt a child.

the committment of marriage is not the same as the committment of having a child. As it is your choice and right not to have a child, it is anyone's choice and right to have one any way they want.

 

[GAIL HAYDEN]

Originally posted by Jaimee
"It really drives home the point that these people are not role models"


OUCH! I guess I should tell my DS to find someone other than me to look up to I think that was a VERY harsh statement. Marriage isn't always an option for everyone. I think a loving SINGLE parent household can be just as good as an "ideal" 2 parent household.

sometimes better.