ANGRY WHITE LONER IN VAN STILL ON THE LOOSE, PROFILERS WARN
Urge Public Not to be Fooled by Conclusive Ballistics Evidence
Days after the police nabbed two suspects in the recent Washington D.C.-area sniper spree, sniper profilers warned the public that the typical sniper they had been profiling for weeks an angry white loner in a white van had still not been found.
Despite conclusive ballistics evidence linking the two suspects to the crimes, sniper profilers spokesman David T. Farnsworth accused law enforcement of taking their eye off the ball: an angry white loner in a white van, whom Mr. Farnsworth believes is still at large.
Lets not have a rush to judgment, said Mr. Farnsworth in Chicago earlier today. Every day that we assume this case is closed is another day that the angry white loner, or loners, goes free.
Mr. Farnsworth, the author of the book Why Angry White Loners Do Bad Things, is in Chicago for the annual meeting of the National Association of Sniper Profilers, which starts tomorrow.
The group, representing 10,000 sniper profilers from across the country, is feeling the heat these days, with many Monday-morning quarterbacks ridiculing the sniper profilers angry-white-loner theories.
But the mounting anger and resentment among sniper profilers could lead to unpredictable rage on their part, warns University of Minnesota professor Dr. Wilson Krieger, who has been profiling sniper profilers for the last fifteen years.
While Dr. Krieger says that profiling the typical sniper profiler is a risky business, he adds, In my experience, the typical sniper profiler is a white male with few friends who tends to work alone and may lash out when proven wrong.
**** BOROWITZ IN NYC TUESDAY NIGHT ****
Andy Borowitz hosts an evening of stories for "Stories at the Moth" this Tuesday night, October 29. At the Nuyorican Poets Cafe, 236 East 3rd Street, btw. Avenues B & C. Doors open at 7, stories begin at 8.
Urge Public Not to be Fooled by Conclusive Ballistics Evidence
Days after the police nabbed two suspects in the recent Washington D.C.-area sniper spree, sniper profilers warned the public that the typical sniper they had been profiling for weeks an angry white loner in a white van had still not been found.
Despite conclusive ballistics evidence linking the two suspects to the crimes, sniper profilers spokesman David T. Farnsworth accused law enforcement of taking their eye off the ball: an angry white loner in a white van, whom Mr. Farnsworth believes is still at large.
Lets not have a rush to judgment, said Mr. Farnsworth in Chicago earlier today. Every day that we assume this case is closed is another day that the angry white loner, or loners, goes free.
Mr. Farnsworth, the author of the book Why Angry White Loners Do Bad Things, is in Chicago for the annual meeting of the National Association of Sniper Profilers, which starts tomorrow.
The group, representing 10,000 sniper profilers from across the country, is feeling the heat these days, with many Monday-morning quarterbacks ridiculing the sniper profilers angry-white-loner theories.
But the mounting anger and resentment among sniper profilers could lead to unpredictable rage on their part, warns University of Minnesota professor Dr. Wilson Krieger, who has been profiling sniper profilers for the last fifteen years.
While Dr. Krieger says that profiling the typical sniper profiler is a risky business, he adds, In my experience, the typical sniper profiler is a white male with few friends who tends to work alone and may lash out when proven wrong.
**** BOROWITZ IN NYC TUESDAY NIGHT ****
Andy Borowitz hosts an evening of stories for "Stories at the Moth" this Tuesday night, October 29. At the Nuyorican Poets Cafe, 236 East 3rd Street, btw. Avenues B & C. Doors open at 7, stories begin at 8.
