Angel Trees

[Feralpeg]

DD and I were at the mall and went to the Salvation Army Angel Tree to select an angel that we could give a gift. Sadly, there were very few taken from the tree and I have a feeling very few will be selected. Most of the gifts requested by the kids are for very expensive items. We say numerous requests for XBox 360, Nintendo DS, IPod, Guitar Hero, etc. There must have been 50 angels on the tree and we couldn't find one where we thought we'd be able to fulfill the wish. So, I am taking a couple of toys to Toys for Tots. While I don't blame the kids for wanting these items, I think it is unreasonable to expect that they will receive them. It's too bad that they can't help the kids ask for things they are more likely to receive.

 

[quentina]

Someone brought this up on another post not to long ago (I believe someone who did social work). We need to remember that these are "wish lists". I also felt the same way when we adopted a family and the main request was an X-box. Then I got to thinking.........what 12 year old doesn't wish for this???

I will say that I did not buy the X-box. Since many people are in on the adoption, I bought for the little ones (can get many items for a smaller price). The president of our company is in on the adoption.......he can buy the x-box!!

I adopted 2 kids from foster care and believe me....it is terrible. When I took my kids to the foster kid christmas party, one little 7 year old cried because Santa found her. When I asked the case worker what that meant, she told me that she has jumped around house to house for a few years and Christmas missed her

After that, I try my best to provide for others however, the X-box was to big of a gift or me.

 

[momof1princess]

i was just telling my DH about this a few days ago. it is so sad...the older kids want what their peers have, and i certainly don't blame them for that, but many people who provide gifts for angel tree and programs like it can't afford those types of gifts (iPod, x-box, wii, etc.), so the older kids don't get their wish fulfilled. if i had the money, every child would get their Christmas wish. it breaks my heart.

 

[EthansMom]

I understand that kids do want big-ticket items. However, I would prefer to give two or three less-expensive gifts (that can help more than one child) than to give one big-ticket gifts.

I also detest donating gifts (such as DVD players, game systems) that would require a further cost to be used (say, buying games or renting DVDs). If a family can't afford food and clothes, I don't feel comfortable encouraging the child to think that his/her parents will buy $50 games.

Also, as sad as it is to have to consider, a big-ticket item can be easily pawned by the recipient's parents for cash.

As has been mentioned by other posters in the past, many requests on Angel Trees aren't for actual real individual children but are generic requests written up by the people running the tree that would then be given to children.

Personally, I prefer our grade school's version of the Angel Tree. The whole grade school adopts one or two families with the arrangements made through a local women's shelter. Requests are always very reasonable. But combining the resources of our 60 families at the school really makes a great Christmas for the one or two families we sponsor.

 

[momof1princess]

I understand that kids do want big-ticket items. However, I would prefer to give two or three less-expensive gifts (that can help more than one child) than to give one big-ticket gifts.

I also detest donating gifts (such as DVD players, game systems) that would require a further cost to be used (say, buying games or renting DVDs). If a family can't afford food and clothes, I don't feel comfortable encouraging the child to think that his/her parents will buy $50 games.

Also, as sad as it is to have to consider, a big-ticket item can be easily pawned by the recipient's parents for cash.

As has been mentioned by other posters in the past, many requests on Angel Trees aren't for actual real individual children but are generic requests written up by the people running the tree that would then be given to children.

Personally, I prefer our grade school's version of the Angel Tree. The whole grade school adopts one or two families with the arrangements made through a local women's shelter. Requests are always very reasonable. But combining the resources of our 60 families at the school really makes a great Christmas for the one or two families we sponsor.

this is my problem...a neighbor and i have adopted an 11 year old girl and her 7 year old brother for Christmas, and i wanted to get the girl an mp3 player, because all the kids have them, BUT, her parents are VERY low income and don't have a computer...they can barely afford food...so the girl wouldn't be able to download music. i'm doing a toiletry gift bag for her instead. the school counselor stressed to us that these kids have NOTHING.

 

[marsha123]

we go to a big church 2000 members . our angle tree this year consists mainly of church members having a hard time. very reasonable wish lists. the one we picked was a 13 year old boy wanting a size 8 .5 shoe.he will get two pairs ,candy and some fun items.

 

[golfgal]

we go to a big church 2000 members . our angle tree this year consists mainly of church members having a hard time. very reasonable wish lists. the one we picked was a 13 year old boy wanting a size 8 .5 shoe.he will get two pairs ,candy and some fun items.

We got some off our church's tree this year too. DS14 picked a 13 year old boy asking for a t-shirt--size 3XXX Dh and I picked adults and they asked for hats and gloves. DD picked one for a girl that wants a board game.

 

[akhenaten]

the salvation army tree we chose from had all simple gifts...
sports balls, a disney dvd, a lullaby cd for an infant, stationary for an 11 year old... the biggest gift requests were for an infant swing and infant bounce chair....
I wanted to buy them all!!!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

We have a tree at our church.

I noticed that there were far more requests on the tree this year than in past years. Specific gifts aren't mentioned. Just the sex, age and sizes of the individual and I think maybe some modest requests if anything.

At this time we are unable to do a gift this year. But I don't recall it ever being so full and likely due to the economy, I think it will have far more tags leftover this year than in past years. Usually we would get 2 or 3 tags and spend up to $100 a piece. We've had to economize this year (only gifting for our children adn some extremely modest gifts for 3 nieces and a nephew) and I just can't fathom going "cheap" on a kid who likely is getting nothing else for Christmas. It woudln't be intentional of course--like I wanted to be cheap. But I presume that we are helping a family that can't do Christmas for their kids and I would be disappointed if I had sought help and all my kid got was a crappy $10 toy.

ETA: While I can appreciate any kid wanting what their peers have, I have coached my kids from early on that Santa had a budget. At the time my kids were making their requests, my DH lost his job and when they asked what the budget was, we told them the cut budget. He has since gotten a job and we were able to do a little extra. But my kids knew that the higher ticket items were simply out of the question. While Angel Tree's job isn't to do that, it just breaks my heart the sheer amount of unreasonable requests. We were watching Ellen last week and there was a mom who had all sorts of financail difficulties and Christmas was cancelled. The woman had 2 kids--Ellen gave her $5000 to pay down debt, a metro card for a year for the family, a new mini-SUV, $2000 to give the boys a proper Christmas (That's $1K per kid--WOW!!!!!), money for something else and then rounded all the cash to $10K. Now we can't all be Ellen, but it is fun to reward those who didn't ask nor expected anything with a very cool holiday gift. But it breaks my heart when so many are asking for these high ticket things. It often makes me wonder. Sometimes, I am not sure it is individual children asking for the gifts.

When we do the tree, my kids do the shopping and I try to steer it a little. They wanted to buy the kid a WallE Robot, so we did plus some other things. When I turned it in--the church lady scoffed at me b/c ebvidently these are kids with nothing and she was essentially saying that other things were more important than that. I'm sure that it was--and we did have some of those things. But it just felt so dirty the way she made her comment like we shopped wrong. But the associations that seem to have the right idea regarding the whole gift giving thing, do not have trees loaded with high ticket requests.

 

[akhenaten]

We have a tree at our church.

I noticed that there were far more requests on the tree this year than in past years. Specific gifts aren't mentioned. Just the sex, age and sizes of the individual and I think maybe some modest requests if anything.

At this time we are unable to do a gift this year. But I don't recall it ever being so full and likely due to the economy, I think it will have far more tags leftover this year than in past years. Usually we would get 2 or 3 tags and spend up to $100 a piece. We've had to economize this year (only gifting for our children adn some extremely modest gifts for 3 nieces and a nephew) and I just can't fathom going "cheap" on a kid who likely is getting nothing else for Christmas. It woudln't be intentional of course--like I wanted to be cheap. But I presume that we are helping a family that can't do Christmas for their kids and I would be disappointed if I had sought help and all my kid got was a crappy $10 toy.

Is it better to get nothing?
When I worked on the giving tree we would sometimes sort and mix and match gifts to make sure everyone got something...
the $100 worth of items you purchased may not have gone to just one person....

 

[babytrees]

I want to respond as a parent who had to fill out Angel Tree requests for my teenagers this year....my girls asked for very reasonable gifts (books or book accessories for one, the other asked for music or art supplies) but I know that the Salvation Army does some "dummy" ones...specifically for teens so there is a possibility of getting some teen items. (teens are often forgotten) The parents also fill out the tags....and I think some of them have higher goals set than their kids. Would my girls like a Wii or PS3? Sure, but they know it isn't happening.

I have added a third kid to my Christmas...but he is 18 and officially not mine....what to get him??

Lisa Loves Pooh....I am/would be happy with anything for my child....I have a grateful heart for anything that helps my child have anything under the tree.

 

[akhenaten]

I want to respond as a parent who had to fill out Angel Tree requests for my teenagers this year....my girls asked for very reasonable gifts (books or book accessories for one, the other asked for music or art supplies) but I know that the Salvation Army does some "dummy" ones...specifically for teens so there is a possibility of getting some teen items. (teens are often forgotten) The parents also fill out the tags....and I think some of them have higher goals set than their kids. Would my girls like a Wii or PS3? Sure, but they know it isn't happening.

I have added a third kid to my Christmas...but he is 18 and officially not mine....what to get him??

Lisa Loves Pooh....I am/would be happy with anything for my child....I have a grateful heart for anything that helps my child have anything under the tree.

I hope they get their requests!!
Yes, it was also our experience that most people loved to buy for the babies... we always got more than we needed for them... and the older children were much harder to fulfill!!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Is it better to get nothing?
When I worked on the giving tree we would sometimes sort and mix and match gifts to make sure everyone got something...
the $100 worth of items you purchased may not have gone to just one person....

For our church yes. It is something they do. Families make requests and they don't divvy things up.

The $100 usually consist of a toy and some oufit type thing and I don't remember specifically all what else, but it falls in line with what they expect (well except the toy my child pickedout that she though a kid her age would appreciate--that really ticked me off that the lady made a comment in the presence of my children who were helping me deliver the items.) ETA: It would further tick me off if someone thought it appropritate to pilfer my gifts to make things more "even". I'll have to be sure to confirm if our church tries to do that. If they do, then next Christmas we will go back to our old way of sponsoring a specific family whom we will know will receive everything in tact as intended.

I cried last month over how I was going to fund my children's Christmas and things are a bit volatile right now financially speaking for us. So someone else will have to step up to the plate for us this year.

If that makes me a horrible person b/c a child may go without a gift b/c I didn't take the tag, so be it. By I have a DH now living out of state at our expense, obsetrical bills to look forward to and my family must come first.

I simply commented my thoughts and feelings and my experience and my situation. It's the first time that someone has tried to make me feel guilty about it. Thanks.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Lisa Loves Pooh....I am/would be happy with anything for my child....I have a grateful heart for anything that helps my child have anything under the tree.

That's very sweet of you.


In the mean time, we are throwing spare change to the SA bell ringers.

Things will shift for us in a few months to being more positive and we will likely do the trees next year. But we got caught with our financial pants down and I can't afford more than to be cheap and I just don't feel comfortable with that.

 

[akhenaten]

For our church yes. It is something they do. Families make requests and they don't divvy things up.

The $100 usually consist of a toy and some oufit type thing and I don't remember specifically all what else, but it falls in line with what they expect (well except the toy my child pickedout that she though a kid her age would appreciate--that really ticked me off that the lady made a comment in the presence of my children who were helping me deliver the items.) ETA: It would further tick me off if someone thought it appropritate to pilfer my gifts to make things more "even". I'll have to be sure to confirm if our church tries to do that. If they do, then next Christmas we will go back to our old way of sponsoring a specific family whom we will know will receive everything in tact as intended.

I cried last month over how I was going to fund my children's Christmas and things are a bit volatile right now financially speaking for us. So someone else will have to step up to the plate for us this year.

If that makes me a horrible person b/c a child may go without a gift b/c I didn't take the tag, so be it. By I have a DH now living out of state at our expense, obsetrical bills to look forward to and my family must come first.

I simply commented my thoughts and feelings and my experience and my situation. It's the first time that someone has tried to make me feel guilty about it. Thanks.

hey i was not trying to make you feel guilty....
my feeling is that a $10.00 gift is fine to give if you can afford to only give that.

 

[luvsJack]

The SA redistributes the gifts that are bought so that all the children receive something and so that all in one family will receive equal number of gifts. At first I didn't like this and have complained about it (I only learned this a year or so ago after years of adopting a child every year), but after further thinking--I get an Angel Tree child to teach my children about the joy of giving and to help a child that may not get a gift otherwise. Whether the particular child that we picked gets the gift or another child, those two objectives are met.


When my boys were young, we had very little money most years. We still adopted at least one child from the Angel Tree every year, and sometimes two. Some years we went to Fred's and Dollar General and bought gifts. We did the best we could with what we had to give. Were they top dollar items? No. But the boys' knew the budget we had to work with and they did the best they could to pick out what they knew a child their age would like within that budget. Were they top dollar gifts? No. But we gave from the heart and hopefully a child that may not have gotten a gift for Christmas received a bit of Christmas magic.

I don't say any of that to make anyone feel guilty for not buying for the Angel Tree. That would be dependent on your own financial situation. I simply mean that I don't believe you have to spend a lot of money to bring a little Christmas joy to a child.