Angel Tree gift advice needed.

[Art 1]

So if they are stuck with you they are screwed because no one else can pick them. You can't buy decent hats and mittens for $15. Let alone a toy.

Why not pick one or two and spend more on them?

You would be surprised what you can get for $15 for a young child. And it's on the list, it's what they ask for.

 

[NotUrsula]

The issue with the Beats isn't because he wants the sound quality, or because "everyone else" has them -- the kid wants them because they are a status symbol in his peer group. If you are the kid who has Beats, you're the cool kid. (It is probable that most of the kids he knows don't have them, but they all want them, because they are the stylish thing to have, and they signal that you have the money to afford them.)

What I have learned about the young urban poor, especially, is that their aspirations tend toward portable high-end goods, especially those you can wear so that they can be conspicuously displayed. Having certain expensive items on display is a status symbol in those communities. Even if your home lacks a working oven, it is what others can see on the street that the young will spend their money on. (And I don't just mean teens; this attitude often continues up into people's thirties, especially among men.)

I've done a lot of work on the issue of the digital divide, and while it is closing, it's closing only because of phones. Most poorer families still do not have access to a real computer, but they have access to the internet because they will spend above their means for a high-end phone plan, primarily because of the discount that provides on the phone itself. Even if the plan ends up getting dropped because you didn't pay, you still have the phone, and people can see that you have it.

Anyone remember that old song from the 60's by the Crystals, "Uptown"? (Which was written by Roy Orbison, btw.) When you are on the bottom of the ladder in the outside world, anything that can make you feel special and get you added respect in your own circle is something that you will crave. Beats are the craving of the moment.

​

 

[SLP958]

We have gone in with a group in the past to adopt entire families. Most of the time they were single moms who had full time jobs.

They were so appreciative and sweet.

I hate it when a few bad apples spoil things.

 

[Coonhound]

Well I don't think people who don't have working ovens have any business allowing their kids to ask for high end, name brand things.
I get that it's Christmas and the point is to give to others and make their holiday brighter. But even more than that, I believe that parents need to be real with their kids...kids should know what their parents can and can't afford and where their money would be best spent- too many urban poor spend money on things others can see as a status symbol, rather than saving money and spending on much needed items...if they are signing up their child for an angel tree, they need to explain to the kids that these are complete strangers offering to buy them something for Christmas, and it is unrealistic and RUDE to expect very expensive, name brand things- they should teach the children to be grateful for the gifts they are given and understand what is out of most peoples price range and even if it is within the donor's price range, they may think better than to spend money on name brand items.
We don't want kids to feel shamed by being from poorer families. Honestly I think just a little bit of shame is not a bad thing. You shouldn't be complacent with receiving gifts others have donated to you. If these kids realize that others can afford more because of their education and their careers, it may motivate them to break the cycle of generational urban poverty because they see that if they want the good things they have to make a better life.
My opinion is not a popular one, but I believe it is the truth.
And just for the record I do operation christmas child, angel tree, sos group, and a prison gift ministry. Because I do believe in giving. But I also believe that we need to do something about what is GENERATIONAL poverty.

 

[lovemygoofy]

Such an inspiring thread for the holiday season. Of course this comes around every year. Should the poor kids really get to ask for name brands? Shouldn't the poor families just live in their hovel and continue to be shamed? Great sentiments!

I have been that kid that had to either rely on the Angel Tree( really nothing like that around the little town I grew up in)or the goodness of others. I grew up poor and out of wedlock(shout out to those that love that word). I can promise, assure, and tell you I knew every minute of every day I was poor. The limited food, the hot days or cold nights, the laundry mat and of course people telling me I should be thankful for anything I get after all I was just white poor trash. I did thank profusely the people that really cared and wanted to help and influence. Genuine caring shines through everytime.

Did growing up poor make me the person I am today? I have no clue other than it gives me a lot of compassion down on their luck or have crazy mothers. Lucky I had both, right? Mostly I think it was by the Grace of God I turned out the way I did and now live the way I live.

Poor kids can't dream big because they need to know they are poor. They know and sometimes even the poor deserve a little Christmas magic. I call it inspiration and caring.

 

[Granny square]

There is a nice middle ground. An iPod isn't necessary. Neither is a scrappy gift because that is all they deserve.

Parents of those with money should be doing some teaching too. Like no matter what you think you've planned for it can be lost in an instant and they could be in the same place.

I know couples who had savings. 2 years later those are gone and they are former professionals working 4 minimum wage jobs between them.

 

[KennesawNemo]

I just volunteered at a Salvation Army warehouse today. We were there making bags for "forgotten angles", those kids whose wish lists were not picked up by anyone. We go through SA's stock pile and make a bag for each for them.

We did a lot of substitutes and middle grounds. For example, a kid asked for a bike and a play kitchen, both are "big" items. If she got a bike, then we would find her a tea set or a set of play food, not a kitchen. Towards the later part of the volunteering, we were out of scooters so we put in skate boards instead.

 

[lauradis]

I just volunteered at a Salvation Army warehouse today. We were there making bags for "forgotten angles", those kids who wish lists were not picked up by anyone. We go through SA's stock pile and make a bag each for them.

We did a lot of substitutes and middle grounds. For example, a kid asked for a bike and a play kitchen, both a "big" items. If she gets a bike, then we'll find her a tea set or a set of play food. Towards the later part of the volunteering, we were out of scooters so we put in skate boards instead.

Have you ever done pick up days?

 

[KennesawNemo]

Have you ever done pick up days?

Yes, I did it two years ago.

We were divided into groups. Some sit at a table, handing the bags to the families and making sure the right bag goes to the right families. Some work in the back arranging the bas. Some help the families carry the bags to their car.

 

[KennesawNemo]

I did see some lists today that are kind of off, but not many. I would say 2 or 3 at most.

For example, 22 month old wants a mp3 player. We put in a music toy. BTW, that was not my call. SA did have a small amount of electronics, but they don't give them to 22 month old.

Another thing is a lot older boys want Nintendo DS. I personally don't agree with this request and would not buy one for my bag. I would always avoid pick up a tag like this when I picked my angel. But this is a very personal thing. I don't expect others to agree with me. I did see couple angel bags filled with NDS and extra games for it.