Angel Tree gift advice needed.

[luvmy3]

I think this poster is suggesting that such expensive gifts are not appropriate to be requested from an angel tree.
May people buying for angel trees can afford the items he requested for their own families.
Again, some adult should have assisted this boy in making his list.

Maybe but that isn't how I took it. If the pp comes back maybe she'll clarify what she meant.


I think he wants Beats because everyone else has them, and I don't fault a kid for that. This time of year it's probably very hard to see everyone else getting something you won't have the chance to ever own. A little Christmas magic is not a bad thing to wish for IMO.

 

[descovy]

So because this kid is lower class he wouldn't be asking for a name brand?
He asked for Beats for a reason, they are what is in in that age range, and it doesn't matter what class someone is from in this instance.

The generic term in this case is headphones.

Yes, that's what I mean.

Let's put it this way... you ask your Mom or Santa for Beats and expect Beats.

But you ask a stranger on an Angel Tree card for Beats because you want BIG PUFFY headphones. :roll eyes:

The kid might be poor, but he isn't stupid.


Aside... my 70 yr old dad just got an iPhone. But he wanted to be able to hear it ring when driving his tractor (yeah.) The young guy at Best Buy said you need some "Beats" and proceeded to sell him some $25 Sony Headphones.

Yes he called them Beats. But no, he didn't expect my crusty 70 yr old dad to want BEATS to listen in his tractor.

Conversely, if you have a runny nose, I might ask if you'd like a Kleenex. Even if I only have CVS brand "facial tissue" in my pocket.

 

[luvsJack]

Yes, that's what I mean.

Let's put it this way... you ask your Mom or Santa for Beats and expect Beats.

But you ask a stranger on an Angel Tree card for Beats because you want BIG PUFFY headphones. :roll eyes:

The kid might be poor, but he isn't stupid.


Aside... my 70 yr old dad just got an iPhone. But he wanted to be able to hear it ring when driving his tractor (yeah.) The young guy at Best Buy said you need some "Beats" and proceeded to sell him some $25 Sony Headphones.

Yes he called them Beats. But no, he didn't expect my crusty 70 yr old dad to want BEATS to listen in his tractor.

Conversely, if you have a runny nose, I might ask if you'd like a Kleenex. Even if I only have CVS brand "facial tissue" in my pocket.

And the kid might want Beats. For kids his age, it can be about the brand because that's what everyone else has. Its not like he doesn't see them around on his peers and in his neighborhood.

Maybe he had no idea there was a $75 limit and they said to put down what you want.

I take back what I said earlier, maybe she shouldn't get another brand. He might not use them.

I asked dd about "beats" meaning headphones and she said "no it means beats".

OP, is there anyway another employee can go in on this kid with you? Two of you together could get the Beats.

 

[NEDisneyFans]

Last year we adopted 2 kids and everyone gave $10. Because some people said they'd rather buy items than give money, this year's coordinator decided we'd all be pre-assigned a kid. I especially do not appreciate the 7.5x increase in my donation obligation. Most of our employees make $10/hr or less, so it's not like their kids are getting expensive gifts either. The company has now said they will match $50 for anyone who spends at least the $75 limit if we bring in our receipts by this Thursday. But next year, I want to go back to $10. I give to other organizations, and even $25 eats into what I can give elsewhere.

You have historically made a $10 donation and someone else decided you needed to spend $75??? That is not a donation, it is extortion!

 

[Cindy B]

I think a 13yo should have a REALISTIC Christmas list. They most likely KNOW that a complete stranger is buying these things. They may also have an unrealistic idea on just what those buying can afford. They may think "Oh those rich folks can afford these things."

This! I worked in an inner city school for two years. One school had a charity angel tree drive where well meaning people would have donated many things (almost 2 UHAULS full) and every kid -500 plus- had a gift of some sort.

Yes, I did hear the PP's comments all the time in the hallway from the middle school kids. They would purposely put the expensive things in- because yes "the people from the rich town can afford it "- they also said other things but I'm not repeating it.

I loved working the angel tree day, setting up gifts, putting them in opaque bags and having parents sign off for the gifts. What I didn't love was the parents trading the large bags of gifts for drugs - right outside the school parking lot and selling the items outright for cash. One "mom" offered something interesting for someone elses bag.

I let other teachers know what was going on, veteran teachers and while they understood how angry and disappointed I was, they kept on saying "It's this city... it's the way of life. Most kids don't get the gifts"

I went home and I cried.

This helped me understand angel trees. Unless I know it is directly going to the kid I don't do it.

 

[EMom]

Maybe but that isn't how I took it. If the pp comes back maybe she'll clarify what she meant.


I think he wants Beats because everyone else has them, and I don't fault a kid for that. This time of year it's probably very hard to see everyone else getting something you won't have the chance to ever own. A little Christmas magic is not a bad thing to wish for IMO.

"Everyone else" doesn't have them. I am one of the parents who would not spend that much money on a pair of headphones for my own kid. I can, but I won't.

Someone should have supervised the wish list and had the kids list items that were within the dollar limit the company would commit to. To do otherwise and list whatever you dream of means that either (1) people will have to go well over budget to buy even ONE item or (2) they will have to think up subsititute items they can afford, but have no way of knowing whether the kid wants them or not. A more realistic list would have best served the giver and the recipient.

I'll be honest at the risk of sounding Grinchy. Even if the giver somehow comes up with enough money to buy things like iPads or Beats or some of the other items on a grand wish list, I don't know how much good that does a kid in the long run. I grew up in a family with nothing, before Angel trees existed. Some years, we had very lean Christmases. Had I gotten amazing gifts from some generous donor, I would have been temporarily thrilled, but how long would that generosity have continued? I learned a hard, but valuable lesson. If I wanted more, I'd better do well in school and make something of myself so I could have that "more" as no one was going to hand it to me. Being poor is not fun, but it can be highly motivating.

I am not suggesting there should be no Angel trees. Far from it. But the lists need to be affordable for the givers, lest they grow weary of outrageous requests and drop giving altogether. We used to do Angel trees, and I was amazed at the differences on lists. Some were reasonable and I went above and beyond for those kids. Some asked for more than I would ever spend on my own family and I passed those over. Eventually, we started getting names of senior citizens, who seem to be less status conscious and were equally needy and deserving. For kids, we just donate toys to Blue Santa or Toys for Tots.

I know what I am saying sounds harsh, but I lived it. I am very empathetic to their situation because it was MY situation.

 

[luvmy3]

"Everyone else" doesn't have them. I am one of the parents who would not spend that much money on a pair of headphones for my own kid. I can, but I won't.

Someone should have supervised the wish list and had the kids list items that were within the dollar limit the company would commit to. To do otherwise and list whatever you dream of means that either (1) people will have to go well over budget to buy even ONE item or (2) they will have to think up subsititute items they can afford, but have no way of knowing whether the kid wants them or not. A more realistic list would have best served the giver and the recipient.

I'll be honest at the risk of sounding Grinchy. Even if the giver somehow comes up with enough money to buy things like iPads or Beats or some of the other items on a grand wish list, I don't know how much good that does a kid in the long run. I grew up in a family with nothing, before Angel trees existed. Some years, we had very lean Christmases. Had I gotten amazing gifts from some generous donor, I would have been temporarily thrilled, but how long would that generosity have continued? I learned a hard, but valuable lesson. If I wanted more, I'd better do well in school and make something of myself so I could have that "more" as no one was going to hand it to me. Being poor is not fun, but it can be highly motivating.

I am not suggesting there should be no Angel trees. Far from it. But the lists need to be affordable for the givers, lest they grow weary of outrageous requests and drop giving altogether. We used to do Angel trees, and I was amazed at the differences on lists. Some were reasonable and I went above and beyond for those kids. Some asked for more than I would ever spend on my own family and I passed those over. Eventually, we started getting names of senior citizens, who seem to be less status conscious and were equally needy and deserving. For kids, we just donate toys to Blue Santa or Toys for Tots.

I know what I am saying sounds harsh, but I lived it. I am very empathetic to their situation because it was MY situation.

I'm sure you knew that when I said everyone I certainly didn't mean every single person.
Having said that, I don't disagree that an adult should have helped him come up with a list that fit the budget of the sponsors. I'm still not going to fault a 13 year old for wishing for something he sees many of his peers with, or what he sees plastered all over the christmas ads as a hot need to have item.

 

[mjkacmom]

Yes he called them Beats. But no, he didn't expect my crusty 70 yr old dad to want BEATS to listen in his tractor.

Conversely, if you have a runny nose, I might ask if you'd like a Kleenex. Even if I only have CVS brand "facial tissue" in my pocket.

How old are your kids? I have two teens and three tweens, and Beats are Beats. And Uggs do not mean any sheepskin boots. And American Girl Doll does not mean any 18 inch doll. And kids would never ask for Kleenex (always tissues).

I got ds15 a pair of Beats Studio (refurbished) a couple of years ago. I couldn't understand why they cost so much more than the skullcandy ones I got for my twins. That is, until I watched the whole first season of Downton Abby on my netbook, using the Beats - it was awesome! Surround sound, and I couldn't hear anything going on in the house - it really made having the kids off from school for two weeks tolerable!

 

[design_mom]

I don't have a big problem with a kid having a "dream item" on his list, but someone should have guided him to make the rest of the list more reasonable. (I think I had a pony on my Christmas list for a couple of years. Never got it, but I got plenty of other things that I also wanted.) It sounds like this particular kid has 4 "ponies" on his list, but nothing less expensive. At 13, I think he's old enough to know what's a big ticket item, even if he doesn't know exact prices.

I wonder what kind of guidance, if any, families are given when making out the lists. Are the kids told that people will be trying to fulfill the wishes or are the kids just invited to write letters to Santa without guidance?

 

[bittybabygrower]

My daughter's Student Counsel sponsors an Angel Tree every year and the students pick a random Angel. My DD got a 13 year old girl who put an IPhone, IPad mini, Beats and Uggs. She was like, are you kidding? There is a $30 limit. DD is like, well she isn't getting any if that, heck I'm not getting any of that myself and I am 18 lol She picked out a really pretty scarf/hat/glove set and ordered some great boots from Kohl's on Black Friday.

The parents or social workers are supposed to help the kids make decisions and tell the older kids the limit. Guess not.

 

[Cindy B]

I don't have a big problem with a kid having a "dream item" on his list, but someone should have guided him to make the rest of the list more reasonable. (I think I had a pony on my Christmas list for a couple of years. Never got it, but I got plenty of other things that I also wanted.) It sounds like this particular kid has 4 "ponies" on his list, but nothing less expensive. At 13, I think he's old enough to know what's a big ticket item, even if he doesn't know exact prices.

I wonder what kind of guidance, if any, families are given when making out the lists. Are the kids told that people will be trying to fulfill the wishes or are the kids just invited to write letters to Santa without guidance?

I worked at a school that had an Angel tree. (see previous post). Part of my job as a teacher was to ask the students what they wanted. And if you ask a 3rd grader what they want, they want the moon. I watched my much wiser veteran grade partner do a good job guiding the kids to a more reasonable outcome.

sure there were still some kids that asked for a 3DS (and got them!), but most expectations were reasonable- craft kits, nail polish, books, board games, action figures, LEGOS, beyblades, playing cards, clothes, lip gloss

It was also wise because the high ticket items (3DS, Xbox games, etc) were sold or traded by the family members picking up the gifts and the kids never saw them.

Craft kits were not a hot commodity to be resold.

 

[Cindy B]

My daughter's Student Counsel sponsors an Angel Tree every year and the students pick a random Angel. My DD got a 13 year old girl who put an IPhone, IPad mini, Beats and Uggs. She was like, are you kidding? There is a $30 limit. DD is like, well she isn't getting any if that, heck I'm not getting any of that myself and I am 18 lol She picked out a really pretty scarf/hat/glove set and ordered some great boots from Kohl's on Black Friday.

The parents or social workers are supposed to help the kids make decisions and tell the older kids the limit. Guess not.

Your daughter is very wise. That Angel Tree is a $600 list.- that isn't happening in our house either.

 

[JanaDee]

I think in this instance, the kids say "Beats" like you and I might say "Kleenex" for Facial Tissue, "Keds" for canvas shoes, or "Jello" for gelatin.

Yes a middle class kid might ask for only the name brand, but in this instance go with the skull candy.

He just means over the head earphones.

My 8th grade GS troop likes to get gifts (like angel tree, but through our county CPS office) This year we did a 13 yo boy. My 13 yo girls had some great ideas!

We spent $85 (no clothing sizes) We got him a Coby mp3 touch player for $40 (like a generic iPod touch) Skull Candy over the ear phones $20, a Google Play card for music $10, and some Nike Tube socks (all the rage with boys at my girls' school for $15) Altogether it is a really nice set of gifts.

Just remember... "Beats" = "Kleenex" A name brand way of describing a generic item.

When a kid says Beats, they mean Beats.

 

[luvsJack]

Seems to me that the best way to do ANY Angel Tree would be for the adults in charge to let the kids ask for that one "dream" gift and then other things that are not as expensive. That plus clothes sizes will give plenty of options.

My kids always had wish list for Christmas and there was usually something that may or may not be within the budget and they knew that they wouldn't get everything on the list. I think Angle Tree lists should be done the same way.

But I think we should remember that sometimes these kids are asking for Beats or Uggs or whatever brand name because they simply want to fit in with the other kids who may have these things. Fitting in is very important to a 13 year old no matter what their financial situation is. And maybe even more so for the ones that know their family cannot afford such things. They aren't trying to swindle anyone or get something to sell. They just want to have the same things that the kids around them have

 

[deedeetoo]

Is anyone else bothered by the fact that the OP was assigned by someone in her office to spend $75 on a specific charity? I believe that a workplace has no business doing this type of thing. People should be allowed to give to the charities that they want in the manner that they want. Requiring all employees to do this just seems wrong.

Other topic - my 12yo ds has skullcandy headphones, but now he wants Beats. He's not getting them. He has perfectly good headphones that work. But yes, kids are picky about the brand.

 

[Mrs.Malone]

There are lots of Angel Tree givers who go all out and spend hundreds on the children's gifts. There are also lots of givers who have a much smaller limit. How is a kid to know which person is going to pick him or her? Many of the kids who ask for the moon do so because they have received the moon in previous years with Angel Tree, or have seen or heard that some kids do receive the moon.
I've helped coordinate Angel Tree twice. Once in a church made up of people who were doing okay but didn't have many extras. The givers in that church spent mostly $50-75 on the gifts because it was all they could afford. I later helped with Angel Tree in a wealthy organization. The givers there spent hundreds on each child. In both cases, the teens' requests were about the same: mostly very costly electronics, North Face coats, $200 shoes.

Can't blame kids for asking. They might just get it all. Adults need to help kids make a reasonably priced list to go along with the big list.

 

[EMom]

Is anyone else bothered by the fact that the OP was assigned by someone in her office to spend $75 on a specific charity? I believe that a workplace has no business doing this type of thing. People should be allowed to give to the charities that they want in the manner that they want. Requiring all employees to do this just seems wrong.

Other topic - my 12yo ds has skullcandy headphones, but now he wants Beats. He's not getting them. He has perfectly good headphones that work. But yes, kids are picky about the brand.

Yes, I am very bothered by it. From what the OP said, most of his/her coworkers make $10 per hour or less. People in that income group may not have an extra $75 to spend. To require them to come up with it may mean they have to cut back what they give their own children. Or maybe Christmas dinner is a lot more lean. Requiring a $75 "gift" is just wrong.

 

[luvmy3]

Is anyone else bothered by the fact that the OP was assigned by someone in her office to spend $75 on a specific charity? I believe that a workplace has no business doing this type of thing. People should be allowed to give to the charities that they want in the manner that they want. Requiring all employees to do this just seems wrong.

Other topic - my 12yo ds has skullcandy headphones, but now he wants Beats. He's not getting them. He has perfectly good headphones that work. But yes, kids are picky about the brand.

I'm not bothered by it but that is assuming that participation is optional. Also she said that her company would match $50 for anyone spending $75, so that to me says that the $75 is the limit they can spend on the child but its not required that they actually spend that much.
Obviously if its a case where the company is requiring its employees to do it and requiring them to spend $X amount then yes I'd be very bothered.

 

[disneychrista]

Is anyone else bothered by the fact that the OP was assigned by someone in her office to spend $75 on a specific charity? .

I'm not bothered by it but that is assuming that participation is optional.

That is my question. Can employees say sorry, I can't afford to participate.

 

[usnuzuloose]

That is my question. Can employees say sorry, I can't afford to participate.

I have been on the end of that rope, and it was not for Christmas. I was told to participate in something on my time off and had to pay for it myself. Needless to say I was very offended to the thing I had to attend. I should have turned them in to HR. But that is a whole new thread.

An employer has no right to tell you what to do with your money. And as for kids asking for Ipads and the phones, if they are on the angel tree who is paying for the monthly service for these items once they are purchased?