Angel Tree gift advice needed.

[Agent7]

I volunteer with a charity that does Christmas (it's not Angel Tree but similar and local). We also have a $75 "limit" (really a recommendation). I know we straight up told parents requesting laptops/iPads/game systems that we had that limit. The worker might have had an off day or that could have been literally all they told them they wanted (and if prodded said "thats it" you can't do much (my charity won't even write down those items we would put "headphones" and "clothes" or something like that)). And the teens usually know that they are being listed, they were there half the time. Honestly when you get something outlandish (did you say rims and bmx tires?) more than haft the time it's for parents to resell or use themselves. Seriously. If the child is truly in need they will be grateful for whatever they get. Yes they may want Beats, but if it's something else or nothing and they really are in need that 'something else' is fine. Don't be fooled into thinking you have to buy something off their list if you can't afford it. If that child hadn't have got adopted the charity wouldn't have provided any of that list (seriously, he would have probably gotten a few cheap things including cheap headphones).

Now that being said you could buy a different pair of headphones (but if he has a way to use Beats he probably at least has a pair of earbuds or something) or go with a hoody, maybe a tshirt, some cool stuff from TJ Maxx (maybe see if they have nice brand socks, jackets, etc for cheap). I don't recommend gift cards (unless it's to somewhere like children's place (that has nothing for adults) and cannot be exchanged for cash). The parents can take that money and the kids won't see it (esp Walmart cards, mom/dad can use them for alcohol etc.).

Also another reason to not give these kids the moon is because if they are listed year after year (I'd say at least half are) the next years sponsor may not be able to fulfill the "all my dreams" list. That sounds harsh. It really does. And yes these kids deserve to be happy with their presents like ant other child. But if you get a kid who got an iPad, Beats, and DS last year and this year he got clothes, books, and cheaper versions of his wants the parents get mad. I mean they get mad. And we (the volunteers) get cursed at (sometimes anyway). If someone can afford a lot of money per child that's awesome but we try not to give them unrealistic expectations for future years.

I'm sorry if I'm coming off as cynical. I'm not, I am however trying to give you realistic ideas of what happens with gifts. And how some parents can be. I love volunteering and stuffing toy bags for the kids who don't get adopted (we get lots of local toy donations! So exciting!). I've helped list several people who would have had nothing if not for us (and when they ask for kids clothes and baby blankets because their newborn/toddler has no winter clothes or warm blankets and they cry because their kids will have presents you know) so the organizations are good. Likely you've got a pretty sweet 13 year old. Who maybe really wants some Beats. But would probably be happy and grateful with what you can afford. Especially if you can find a cool black/grey/navy hoody and hat.

Sorry for such a long reply! Happy Holidays to you!

 

[okeydokey]

Not everybody has beats. My kids sure don't. A 13 year old should have realistic expectations. I have a 13 year old and he wanted a laptop for Christmas. Well, guess what, not in the budget.

Our church giving tree has restricted gifts to one outfit of clothes and one modest present for each kid. This is to ensure that two kids in the same family do not get wildly different experiences if two different families pick their cards. Some families have 4 or 6 kids to give cards out for.

One year we had a kid who asked for Grand Theft Auto video game in his church wish list. Really? We also had to stop giving bikes because when someone went back and looked at the past several years, the same families was asking for and getting bikes for each child in their household. I am guessing they didn't all really need new bikes every year.

After that, a different organizational method was used to cut down on people taking advantage and to make it a more fair experience for everyone.

And I am disturbed that this seems to be forced on employees.

 

[lauradis]

This! I worked in an inner city school for two years. One school had a charity angel tree drive where well meaning people would have donated many things (almost 2 UHAULS full) and every kid -500 plus- had a gift of some sort.

Yes, I did hear the PP's comments all the time in the hallway from the middle school kids. They would purposely put the expensive things in- because yes "the people from the rich town can afford it "- they also said other things but I'm not repeating it.

I loved working the angel tree day, setting up gifts, putting them in opaque bags and having parents sign off for the gifts. What I didn't love was the parents trading the large bags of gifts for drugs - right outside the school parking lot and selling the items outright for cash. One "mom" offered something interesting for someone elses bag.

I let other teachers know what was going on, veteran teachers and while they understood how angry and disappointed I was, they kept on saying "It's this city... it's the way of life. Most kids don't get the gifts"

I went home and I cried.

This helped me understand angel trees. Unless I know it is directly going to the kid I don't do it.

We stopped doing angel tree here too, we'll unless on of the kids wants too. Try adopting family in your area, it will make you cry but in the good way

 

[LilyWDW]

Lists like this are why so many adults go towards little children when picking someone on the angel tree.
There's no way to help this kid out at Christmas unless you've got a lot of extra coin to spend at the holidays because his wants all cost more than the average donation budget. It's much easier with a child under 10 years old.

This is me. I picked an angel off the tree this year. I spent a good 15-20 minutes looking at the cards to pick one. I finally settled on a 5 year old girl who "needed" clothing and socks and "wanted" things that were Disney princess or faeries. There were quite a few younger kids with lists like hers.

Then you had the teens. One I saw had "needed" specific clothing brands and "wanted" Beats, an Iphone, and a laptop. Sorry kid... I am not the one that will be helping you with that. I think Iphones are over priced and would never waste the money on one.

Now, I will say not all the teens were like this. Some had lists that were affordable and were not crazy. Good for them.

I think the charities need to be stricter with what they allow. "Needs" should be basic... not specific brands. "Wants" should be a bit more realistic. For the kid I listed above maybe they should have put "a laptop, over the ear headphones, and an MP3 player". That allows a wider range of possibilities.

 

[SMD]

Since there seems to be some interest, I'll clarify how this year's office charity project went awry.

Last year the company was wrapping up a major project during the first week of December, and we knew that there would be a layoff before the end of the year. The idea to adopt 2 kids came from a senior manager, who most people assumed had a lot of influence on the layoff decision. She was pretty charismatic, and really tried to convince everyone to give $10. I admit, I felt sort of pressured to give. (And I shouldn't have, because I'd already given $35 in toys to Toys for Tots). We probably did have close to 100% participation.

Fast forward to this year, the company wanted to do this again because it was so well received. The assigned an assistant to coordinate this year. She was a bit of an overachiever and told the charity we would take more kids. Then she wrote her own notes on the letters about which item she thought we should buy and passed them out to people. We had no idea this was coming. And there has been so much negative backlash to this, but what were we going to do, tell the charity on December 9th that we couldn't accommodate the kids she asked them to send us? That was when the company decided to step up and reimburse $50 to employees. And they've assured us that we will NOT be doing this again next year. (I know I won't, I got a layoff notice for next Monday.) The coordinator is being very smug about this whole thing, she thinks she's done a great job getting us to participate and helping so many kids. Yea, ok, whatever.

I did buy the Skullcandy headphones, a sweater, and a zip hoodie. I decided to buy the headphones because this is still a 13 year old who was told he'd get a Christmas gift from this charity, and I wanted him to have something to open when the gifts are distributed. I think he'd rather have those than nothing because he didn't get the brand he asked for.

 

[luvsJack]

Since there seems to be some interest, I'll clarify how this year's office charity project went awry.

Last year the company was wrapping up a major project during the first week of December, and we knew that there would be a layoff before the end of the year. The idea to adopt 2 kids came from a senior manager, who most people assumed had a lot of influence on the layoff decision. She was pretty charismatic, and really tried to convince everyone to give $10. I admit, I felt sort of pressured to give. (And I shouldn't have, because I'd already given $35 in toys to Toys for Tots). We probably did have close to 100% participation.

Fast forward to this year, the company wanted to do this again because it was so well received. The assigned an assistant to coordinate this year. She was a bit of an overachiever and told the charity we would take more kids. Then she wrote her own notes on the letters about which item she thought we should buy and passed them out to people. We had no idea this was coming. And there has been so much negative backlash to this, but what were we going to do, tell the charity on December 9th that we couldn't accommodate the kids she asked them to send us? That was when the company decided to step up and reimburse $50 to employees. And they've assured us that we will NOT be doing this again next year. (I know I won't, I got a layoff notice for next Monday.) The coordinator is being very smug about this whole thing, she thinks she's done a great job getting us to participate and helping so many kids. Yea, ok, whatever.

I did buy the Skullcandy headphones, a sweater, and a zip hoodie. I decided to buy the headphones because this is still a 13 year old who was told he'd get a Christmas gift from this charity, and I wanted him to have something to open when the gifts are distributed. I think he'd rather have those than nothing because he didn't get the brand he asked for.

I think you did a great job.

And the way this was organized was the problem NOT really the kid. If she had asked for only a couple of kids then it would not have been hard to get the kid the things he asked for.

What notes did she add?

 

[sam_gordon]

I agree, you did a great job. Knowing someone else committed to $75 per person, AND that's I'm going to be laid off, I'd be very tempted to hand the tag back to them.

Something doesn't make sense though. How does taking more kids = more money from each employee. I thought YOU got this boy. It's not that the office takes a big collection and then shops for multiple kids, right?

 

[disneychrista]

what were we going to do, tell the charity on December 9th that we couldn't accommodate the kids she asked them to send us?

IMO, they should have sent the assistant to shop for the kids with the $50 budget per child. It is unreasonable to expect employees spend money on a charity when it is forced upon them.

In the future they should have asked employees who wanted to participate & how much they would be willing to spend. If 10 people sign up for $25 each, they let the charity know they can take 4 children.

 

[SMD]

I agree, you did a great job. Knowing someone else committed to $75 per person, AND that's I'm going to be laid off, I'd be very tempted to hand the tag back to them.

Something doesn't make sense though. How does taking more kids = more money from each employee. I thought YOU got this boy. It's not that the office takes a big collection and then shops for multiple kids, right?

Yes, I was assigned him and I am the only one shopping for him. Last year the whole office got 2 kids, we all donated $10 and someone shopped for the 2 kids. I think we collected $300 last year and I think it was a different organization. This year we were each given our own kid to shop for, so I suppose people could still spend $10, they just now have to buy an item instead of just handing over cash. I admit it's potentially more fun to buy stuff for a kid than to just give money, but there's a wide gap with many other ways to do this between this year and last year.

I think you did a great job.

And the way this was organized was the problem NOT really the kid. If she had asked for only a couple of kids then it would not have been hard to get the kid the things he asked for.

What notes did she add?

One kid asked for iPod, a purse, boots and makeup. She circled the purse and said to get 2.

 

[luvsJack]

Yes, I was assigned him and I am the only one shopping for him. Last year the whole office got 2 kids, we all donated $10 and someone shopped for the 2 kids. I think we collected $300 last year and I think it was a different organization. This year we were each given our own kid to shop for, so I suppose people could still spend $10, they just now have to buy an item instead of just handing over cash. I admit it's potentially more fun to buy stuff for a kid than to just give money, but there's a wide gap with many other ways to do this between this year and last year.




One kid asked for iPod, a purse, boots and makeup. She circled the purse and said to get 2.

The way they did it last year makes a lot more sense,

Why on earth would anyone want to buy a kid 2 purses? That's dumb. A purse filled with make up would have made a lot more sense.

She should have kept her notes to herself and not been so controlling,

 

[cfriend416]

Since there seems to be some interest, I'll clarify how this year's office charity project went awry.

Last year the company was wrapping up a major project during the first week of December, and we knew that there would be a layoff before the end of the year. The idea to adopt 2 kids came from a senior manager, who most people assumed had a lot of influence on the layoff decision. She was pretty charismatic, and really tried to convince everyone to give $10. I admit, I felt sort of pressured to give. (And I shouldn't have, because I'd already given $35 in toys to Toys for Tots). We probably did have close to 100% participation.

Fast forward to this year, the company wanted to do this again because it was so well received. The assigned an assistant to coordinate this year. She was a bit of an overachiever and told the charity we would take more kids. Then she wrote her own notes on the letters about which item she thought we should buy and passed them out to people. We had no idea this was coming. And there has been so much negative backlash to this, but what were we going to do, tell the charity on December 9th that we couldn't accommodate the kids she asked them to send us? That was when the company decided to step up and reimburse $50 to employees. And they've assured us that we will NOT be doing this again next year. (I know I won't, I got a layoff notice for next Monday.) The coordinator is being very smug about this whole thing, she thinks she's done a great job getting us to participate and helping so many kids. Yea, ok, whatever.

I did buy the Skullcandy headphones, a sweater, and a zip hoodie. I decided to buy the headphones because this is still a 13 year old who was told he'd get a Christmas gift from this charity, and I wanted him to have something to open when the gifts are distributed. I think he'd rather have those than nothing because he didn't get the brand he asked for.

So sorry to hear about your layoff and I'm sorry this whole experience wasn't more positive for you. It sucks to get screwed over when you're just trying to do a nice thing. Fortunately you seem like the kind of person who won't let this turn you off to giving during the holiday season in the future. For what it's worth, I think you chose great gifts and I really hope the boy appreciates them!

 

[Art 1]

I pick 10 each year and keep it around $15 each. If that's not good enough too bad.

 

[Granny square]

I pick 10 each year and keep it around $15 each. If that's not good enough too bad.

So if they are stuck with you they are screwed because no one else can pick them. You can't buy decent hats and mittens for $15. Let alone a toy.

 

[moon]

I pick 10 each year and keep it around $15 each. If that's not good enough too bad.

Why not pick one or two and spend more on them?

 

[luvmy3]

Well geez Art what is wrong with you trying to help out those 10 kids.

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

Why not pick one or two and spend more on them?

Our Angel Tree's have $15.00 limits. If you buy over, the gifts are split and given to other tags that were not pulled. Can you imagine having a $15.00 limit and you get a nice $15.00 item you had on the list and your sibling got an Ipod. They put limits on trees for a reason.

Just because you spend $15.00 doesn't mean the item is not worth more.

 

[Granny square]

Our Angel Tree's have $15.00 limits. If you buy over, the gifts are split and given to other tags that were not pulled. Can you imagine having a $15.00 limit and you get a nice $15.00 item you had on the list and your sibling got an Ipod. They put limits on trees for a reason. Just because you spend $15.00 doesn't mean the item is not worth more.

Lol, then you have the child who's patron spent $ regular price and the one who buys twice the amt bargain shopping. Same outcome.

As I said you can't buy good hats and mitts for $15. Let alone a fun toy in addition. I'm glad that ours seem to actually be based on what a kid wants not what others deem good enough for a poor kid.

 

[luvmy3]

Lol, then you have the child who's patron spent $ regular price and the one who buys twice the amt bargain shopping. Same outcome.

As I said you can't buy good hats and mitts for $15. Let alone a fun toy in addition. I'm glad that ours seem to actually be based on what a kid wants not what others deem good enough for a poor kid.

If you can't find something good for $15 then you don't know how to shop.
Not everyone that bargain shops just goes out and gets cheap "junk"

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

Lol, then you have the child who's patron spent $ regular price and the one who buys twice the amt bargain shopping. Same outcome.

As I said you can't buy good hats and mitts for $15. Let alone a fun toy in addition. I'm glad that ours seem to actually be based on what a kid wants not what others deem good enough for a poor kid.

It's not deemed what is good enough for a "poor" person. The recipients are told to put items in the $15.00 range and the requests are asked to be changed if not within the price range.

You also put the receipt in the bag with the gift. It is not to make anyone feel inferior but for everyone to feel equal. Just because the gift is not a large one, it is a gift and the people receiving are grateful. We have all ages, and actually take on a full nursing home, so many older tags on the tree also.

I understand that children want "big" gifts. But for some the reality is that it will not be there. Even for my children it will not be there, but we still have 2 angels from the tree.

Each of my children have a $100.00 limit this year. It's been tough. So I feel giving a $15.00 gift to two others is in line with our budget.

My children would have been grateful if they had received an extra gift. Many of the children on the tree are registered at more than one site. Then need in our area is great.

As for getting something on sale that fits in the limit, I really do not believe people are getting $100.00 gifts for $15.00 but maybe a nice glove/hat set would definitely be in that range.

 

[islangrl]

Our local big flea market sells Beats. Over the ear for @ $40, and earbuds for @ $25. I don't know if they are real, fell off the truck or are a write off by the company to keep the market wanting more, but they come in the same packaging as the ones you get at Target, etc.

Just an idea.
I think it's very kind of you to follow through even though it was thrust upon you. Merry Christmas!