An Inconvenient Truth: happyhaunt Style! (New... pg. 113!)

[magicforever]

love the title of your TR

 

[GOOFYsince71]

love the title of your TR

Dear Dear magicforever..........
Just in case you are unaware...........This is not Me(l)'s only
Title since she has started this Trip Report!
Oh no....not by a longshot
(what does that mean actually?)
To view the other titles , simply click on "first" at the top to bring you to the first installment where Me(l) is kind enough to keep a running list of all the titles up to date....
Thanks again Mel.
It's title Heaven!

-----------------------------------------------------jan

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

So this is what I think I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna take turns working on this trippie along with the other one.

Here on the TR Board.

Try to post something to each every other day.

Yeah, right.

But... something along those lines anyways.

Anywho... thanks for continuing to read and comment.

It means alot. To Me(l).

And it's the thing that keeps a poor 'ol trip reporter going.

Except for ZZUB.

He runs on Yoo Hoo.

Cheers, Mel.

 

[GOOFYsince71]

Just to say Good-bye....
I bid farewell to Utah Mama yesterday.
Thanks to all of you who were my favorite summer reads.
Mel, sweet Mel
UtahMama.
TwinkieMama
TicToc
horsegirl
gmax and mom
and especially ZZUB
Best of luck to you all
As I said yesterday, I am addicted to these mighty fine threads, and need to stop,,I am getting nothing done anymore .
As the story goes, I am applying a Lime Green Mickey Head Paint Chip on my left shoulder...kinda like a patch...to see if I can kick this habit.
Thanks to all of you who made me laugh, cry, smile all day long.
You are an amazing bunch...

--------------------------------------jan

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Just to say Good-bye....
I bid farewell to Utah Mama yesterday.
Thanks to all of you who were my favorite summer reads.
Mel, sweet Mel
UtahMama.
TwinkieMama
TicToc
horsegirl
gmax and mom
and especially ZZUB
Best of luck to you all
As I said yesterday, I am addicted to these mighty fine threads, and need to stop,,I am getting nothing done anymore .
As the story goes, I am applying a Lime Green Mickey Head Paint Chip on my left shoulder...kinda like a patch...to see if I can kick this habit.
Thanks to all of you who made me laugh, cry, smile all day long.
You are an amazing bunch...

--------------------------------------jan

I'm sorry to see you go.

My friend.

But... ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

Good luck with the lime green patch. Thingie.

I've tried it once or twice. Before.

But... I always come back.

My name is Mel happyhaunt. And I need my Dis-fix.

Take care, Mel.

 

[Ginamarie]

Just to say Good-bye....
I bid farewell to Utah Mama yesterday.
Thanks to all of you who were my favorite summer reads.
Mel, sweet Mel
UtahMama.
TwinkieMama
TicToc
horsegirl
gmax and mom
and especially ZZUB
Best of luck to you all
As I said yesterday, I am addicted to these mighty fine threads, and need to stop,,I am getting nothing done anymore .
As the story goes, I am applying a Lime Green Mickey Head Paint Chip on my left shoulder...kinda like a patch...to see if I can kick this habit.
Thanks to all of you who made me laugh, cry, smile all day long.
You are an amazing bunch...

--------------------------------------jan

It's harder than you think. THere's no methedone for Disboards withdrawral. I know. I tried it. First you get the sweats, and the chills. Then you start to hear voices in your head "Caaaaaaaalvin", they say. "CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLVVVVVIN." Whatever it is you think you see becomes Zzub driving a surrey.

It's a dangerous withdrawral. Please be careful.

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Instead we were gonna do The Jungle Cruise.

I know. I know.

Boys had done it earlier. While Beth and I were at tea.

But... I like me a little Jungle Cruise. And so do the rest of the happyhaunt clan. We are the thrifty, redundant, stuck in ADVENTURELAND... now... happyhaunts.

We are also hackneyed. For the most part.

It's cheesie. And almost identical everytime. The same lame jokes. And silli puns. The same stuff to look at. And, yet, the laughter still comes.

For me, anyhow.

It reminds me of holidays with my family. And friends.

My family tells the same stories. Over and over.

The General favours the story of the time I went to The Canada-Wide Science Fair. And ended up winning first place in my category.

Over twenty years ago.

It's the only thing I ever did to please her.

I think.

Anywho... she likes to haul out my whole freakin' DISPLAY. From her basement. And show everyone.

Again.

Like they haven't seen it a million times.

Last Christmas.

Even the kids DIE when she starts talking about it. AGAIN.

It's vastly embarrassing.

And,yet, at least I did her proud. Once.

Oh.

She's pretty happy about the three grandchildren. Too.

She'd pull out the rather graphic pictures of their births. If I let her.

And subject everyone to THAT. Along with Christmas cake. And Plum Pudding.

SHUDDER!

What I'm saying is this: She only made it to one of their births. In time.

It was Calvin's. And she spent the whole time sitting weakly beside me in a chair.

Listening to me curse a blue-streak at the top of my lungs.

Heh heh.

What I'm really saying is this: If any of YOU out there think YOU ARE or WERE a GEEK or NERD. Growing up. Hear this... I was the Queen of all Geeks. A SCIENCE FAIR GEEKETTE. With braces. Headgear. Plenty of pimples. And leg-warmers. And... The General along. As a chaperone.

Rest easy. My Disfriends. You really have not climbed the heights of Geekdom yet. Until you've dated a fellow Science Fair contestant. Exchanged presentation tips and locked headgear. In an embrace. Or two.

I like nerdy guys.

So sue me.

And then... Shhhhh! Don't tell my DH.

Oh... nevermind... he hasn't been reading this for a couple of weeks now. He and Beth and Calvin are deeply engrossed in the DVD Star Trek Enterprise (Season 2) after dinner in the evenings. Again. For the second time.

SEE?

Where was I?

Oh... The Jungle Cruise. Because it's just like all the above. The SAME story and the same jokes.

Same old same old.

But in a GOOD way. Unlike the above.

The kids really like it too. Again... redundancy. Reigns supreme.

And... I always try to take a picture of the big snake.

Which leads me to a funny Disney story... something that we do every single time. On the Jungle Cruise.

A few trips back. To Disney. We were staying at Old Key West Resort.

A nice private quiet villa.

So far from the main building that we had to DRIVE to get to the freakin' pool with the slide.

But... no matter.

We were sitting on the balcony one morning having coffee when I knocked an empty Coke can off of the ledge.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

It was from the day before and I hadn't thrown it in the garbage yet.

Because of my slob factor. TFI.

Anywho... it fell down in the bushes beside someone else's patio area.

Beth volunteered to go pick it up.

Ok.

Thanks, bunny.

Out the door and down the stairs.

Then we heard the LOUDEST SCREAM of TERROR.

Absolute TERROR.

From her.

Both Mellyman and I bolted from our chairs and with only our sleeping gear on. Ran out and down the stairs.

Meaning... Mellyman was in his panties.

And I was in my boxers and a t-shirt.

Heh heh.

It's true. Except he doesn't wear panties. I just like to refer to his underwear that way.

To bug. Him.

It works, btw. Really well.

I was... in fact... wearing boxers and a t-shirt. But they were from La Senza so all was normal(ish).

Except for Mellyman in his panties.

What I'm getting to is this: Beth had just seen a SNAKE!!!!

But we were confusselled because she was whispering "Snack. Snack. Snack!"... in her daze of terror.

SNACK!!!!!!

She sad "SNACK!" instead of "SNAKE!".

Mwaaaaaahaaaaaahaaaaaaahaaaaaa!

She's never been allowed to live it down.

And, therefore, when we see the big SNACK on the Jungle Cruise. Hanging on the tree.

All the happyhaunts scream, together, at the top of our lungs:

"SNACK!!!!"!!!!

Which usually causes a large lull in the Guide's scripted speech. And a bunch of people sitting on either side of our family to scoot their bums down along the bench seat.

As far away from us as they can.

It also makes Beth GLARE at us all.

And me scoot towards her for a big hug.

Because I don't like "snacks" anymore than she does.

It's a dietary choice. I make.



Up next: A big tree. To climb. In the heat. And fall. And stuff like that.

 

[celerystalker]

I was in Science Olympiad for 6 years. Yes, for 6 years, I was the queen of rocks and fossils. I even placed 4th in the country one year.
For those who don't know, Science Olympiad is a big (I mean HUGE!) competition between middle school and high school teams. There's a regional, state, and national competition. My team got to go to nationals 4 of the 6 years.
Umm. It was my life.
So yes, some of us know of geekdom and have clutched it in our tiny pasty white hands.

 

[ZZUB]

It's cheesie. And almost identical everytime. The same lame jokes. And silli puns. The same stuff to look at. And, yet, the laughter still comes.

Is it me or are you writing in verse now?

We are also hackneyed

That's better than being knockneed, I suppose.

So far from the main building that we had to DRIVE to get to the freakin' pool with the slide.

This is the funniest thing I've read today. I spit Diet Coke all over my desk. Which is odd b/c I was drinking water at the time.

 

[UtahMama]

The Jungle Cruise!!! I love this part of the Trip Report! Yours especially. Because you are my favorite(ish) TR-er doing my childhood favorite ride!

When you mentioned Mellyman's panties, I spat water out of my nose! Only it wasn't water it was dietPepsi (wasted)!!

Allow me to reinact my surprise with the use of an appropriate smilie:

 

[javamom]

All the happyhaunts scream, together, at the top of our lungs:

"SNACK!!!!"!!!!

I am DED (dead)!! I think I had a bladder malfunction on this one. BTW, my mom did a similar thing involving cows that she will never live down... that and the dime-sniffing goats...

 

[Frickles]

I'm still laughing at the image of you in headgear & legwarmers! Keep it up Mel because it is awesome!

 

[horsegirl]

Then we heard the LOUDEST SCREAM of TERROR.

Absolute TERROR.

From her.

Both Mellyman and I bolted from our chairs and with only our sleeping gear on. Ran out and down the stairs.

Meaning... Mellyman was in his panties.

And I was in my boxers and a t-shirt.

Heh heh.

It's true. Except he doesn't wear panties. I just like to refer to his underwear that way.

To bug. Him.

It works, btw. Really well.

I was... in fact... wearing boxers and a t-shirt. But they were from La Senza so all was normal(ish).

Except for Mellyman in his panties.

I like boxers too baby, on my boys and me!

What I'm getting to is this: Beth had just seen a SNAKE!!!!

But we were confusselled because she was whispering "Snack. Snack. Snack!"... in her daze of terror.

SNACK!!!!!!

She sad "SNACK!" instead of "SNAKE!".

Mwaaaaaahaaaaaahaaaaaaahaaaaaa!

She's never been allowed to live it down.

And, therefore, when we see the big SNACK on the Jungle Cruise. Hanging on the tree.

All the happyhaunts scream, together, at the top of our lungs:

"SNACK!!!!"!!!!

Which usually causes a large lull in the Guide's scripted speech. And a bunch of people sitting on either side of our family to scoot their bums down along the bench seat.

As far away from us as they can.

It also makes Beth GLARE at us all.

And me scoot towards her for a big hug.

Because I don't like "snacks" anymore than she does.

It's a dietary choice. I make.

Snack!!!!!!!!!! Me either Hauntie. You are cracking me up!

 

[offwegotoneverland]

That was very funny (even by the high standards you have prev. set for yourself)

We saw three snacks on our walk last weekend in the park...too bad DH wasn't wearing the right gear to make them go away...from now on he goes in panties clearly the choice in uniforms for these issues.

Good to know!

 

[bdg100]

Great repo... Never mind I didn't really read it. Thanks for posting it anyway.

BDG

 

[HaleyB]

Silly and I love the Jungle Cruise. The 3 hour tour. The Two week adventure.

And as I may possibly have said before, we go to Disney a lot. Just the land more than the world. Disneyland's Jungle Cruise is not really the same at all.

It makes more sense too, as the cool fallen temple part is tied into the Indiana Jones ride. Anyhow (anywho?) we know the patter by heart, and most of the variations.

We like to mess with the Captians. So we say the first line of some of the off color, Disney back room jokes that we know. Hee hee. We like to scare them. Just a little.

I miss the old Hippo bit.

And now I know I will think "Snack" everytime I see the big snake... so it will be eve more fun to ride.

Blah blah blah. I need coffee, sorry about leaving this junk on your trippie.

 

[nicolemarie]

You're gonna give us the whole bit about your winning science project and then NOT EVEN TELL US WHAT IT WAS?

What's up with that?

Another hilarious installment, Mel.

Rest easy. My Disfriends. You really have not climbed the heights of Geekdom yet. Until you've dated a fellow Science Fair contestant. Exchanged presentation tips and locked headgear. In an embrace. Or two.

Especially that.

NM

 

[Lil' Grumpy]

dear ms. happy & her haunties:

i am back from from our lil disney cruise. like always, i "got" into it.
but oh, boy! did we have some fun!

do you remember me...mentioning, taking your report? well i got me a lil
drink, and a recliner...& set things up by the big air conditioner vent on
deck 10..have you seen top gun? and the scene where tom cat threw goose's
dogtags into the ocean?...well if you can, imagined { and pardon me}...a
similar dramatic ending for your report. i was sooo disappointed...& a lil funny
-looking..as i chased those pages all over deck 10.



p.s...i still believe that your husband has yet to have laid eyes on
"once upon a happy haunts' adventure story? p.s..everyone knows it's proper
ettiquete for women to wear men clothing..but not the reverse! for example..
over at crush,,,,the cool dude brought out a bikini top..& asked jordan if it
was ok for him to wear..she said, sure, if you're a woman! all he could do,
while everyone burst out > ...was to hang his mouth opened. that's
when it dawn on me, " i bet mellyhaunt's husband does that all the time!"

*
really! i 'm so "gald yopu" came back..here..you give the boards such a
prettie colors! . please give mr. my best. just thinking
what a great disney movie it would be..to put both your familes down there
at the same time..at the same resort? [ would you give me !/2 % royalities?]

the best i could ever do...is . hey,,,you know the lady ghost acted
a lil miff when i tried to "see thru" her peettie coats junction..imajined that?

 

[MainStMandy]

OMG....really, this is it???

Page after page after page....and I have only made it through 2 (unfinished mind you) trip reports....

There should be a support group for people like us... Maybe in some kind of padded room,with hidden Mickeys, and of course it would be lime green.

I feel like I may have caught up, but considering I was informed that there is still ONE more trip report and a dining report (God help us all) out there, I have that weak and uneasy sense of something left unfinished....

BTW, would you please adopt me? Yes I maybe be a little old to be one of your children....but I think I could take the general, so props to me huh???

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

so we happyhaunts decided to climb a BIG TREE.

In the sweltering HEAT. Of a Florida afternoon.

Suffer the dehydration and dizziness.

That comes with heat stroke.

Not to mention the hallucinations.

Of grandeur.

Heh heh.

It wasn't that bad. As all that.

Oh... it WAS hot. And we DO like to live life on the edge. With a bit of danger.

But, all of us are in fair enough shape that I wasn't afraid we'd have to be concerned about the health risks. Involved. In climbing the Swiss Family Treehouse tree.

That's more our kind of danger. That. Safe danger. Unlike the style of the late Steve Irwin. Crocodile hunter. And... Mr. Silli, too.

I think.

God Bless him. Them. Whatever.

We aren't into messin' with Crocs. Is what I'm sayin'.

Or am I?

We like... PEEPS. Instead.

Oh yeah.

Our brand of dangerous sport is... Peep Jousting.

That's right.

Now... follow my instructions... TO THE LETTER.

But... please don't. Because it's so stupid.

Anywho... take two Peeps.

The lil' sweetie marshmellowy Easter treats. The chicks. Or... when feeling particularily bloodthirsty... the BUNNIES.

(I can't believe I'm writing this, btw. TFI.)

Now then... I prefer a pink Peep chick. And a blue Peep chick-dude. To represent... for me... Billie Jean King and Bobby Riggs and their 1973 "Battle of the Sexes". However, Billie Jean King did not really look like a pink Peep chick.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Then JAM two little wooden toothpicks under the "wings". Of which there aren't really any. To speak of.

So... instead... stick the toothpicks right square in the middle of their bellies.

Capish?

Put them on a microwaveable plate. Close and facing each other.

And crank the microwave on high.

Watch them expand. Until one of them stabs the other one with its toothpick sword.

For the win. Oh yeah.

The bloodsport of marshmellows.

Mellyman prefers using two yellow Peeps. Because he's a gentleman. TFI.

We go through plenty of Easter candy this way.

And not just us.

I DID NOT make this up.

It's pretty popular and I believe will take the country by storm soon.

Your country. I hope.

Not mine.

I have great confidence in the Can-A-dian youth. Our leaders of tomorrow.

And their stupid parents. Too.

What I'm sayin' is this: We were climbing the Swiss Family Treehouse in Adventureland.

In the heat.

Marvelling... as usual... at the detail. Of it all. And the great wasted space.

There.

It's not a real ride.

It's not even a REAL TREE. It's a building. Built to CODE. With fake leaves and fire regulations. I'm assuming.

And... now that I think of it... it's not really even marshmellowly dangerous. Leaving us with only the heat factor. To spice this up.

I might as well give up right now.

This is mind-bogglingly boring. Sorry. But... to continue:

It's a walk-through.

And it's a walk-up! How's THAT for being doubly cruel?

You can't even ride your golfcart up it.

If you're really lazy, rich and pampered.

Still... it has all the fun of El Rio Del Tiempo.

I think.

The water system is pretty neat. O. So are the rooms and the furnishings.

From a movie no one even remembers anymore.

Least of all our kids.

Or yours. Probably.

And... there's the candy-butt risk factor. Too.

Just like It's a Small World. Especially if you are a particularily tiny DOLL-like happyhaunt and you stumble on the steps. Wearing your CROCS. And fall down wailing your cute tiny knee on another step.

And crying.

And sweating in the heat.

Making ME want to grab those stupid plastic shoes and show them WHO'S THE BOSS.

More like Tony Danza.

Then Steve Irwin.

'Cause I'm a marshmellow PEEP myself. But... a "BAD BUTT" (stronger word) BLUE Peep.

Who has messed with a number of dangerous shoes and high-heeled bots... in my time.

Oh.

Is "BAD BUTT" one word or two?



Cheers, Mel.



To be continued. Up next: We finish Adventureland. Head out. OF MK. Stopping for a few bad pics and heading to the BWVs. For some happyhaunt fun with water.