And it scared us all too much to sleep.
So we decided to go swimming.
Instead.
The other thing is this: Thanks for reading, posting and all your comments.
I love them all.
I think.
I'm going to try and do group responses, again. I've just been a little bit busy lately.
I'm training my new kitten to use the toilet.
I'm using the same technique as I did with all three of my children.
And... it's going, similarily, spectacularily badly.
Moving on...
The happyhaunts headed happily to the pool.
Except for Calvin.
Who didn't originally want to go swimming. And was in a bit of a snit.
Which meant that all the rest of us would be paying somewhat of a price.
Especially Tommy.
From day ONE... Tommy has been Calvin's favourite person. Who, by chance of birth order, has less power. Than he has.
Is smaller.
Slower.
Gentler... by nature.
Frightens easily.
And shares his bedroom.
Now... Calvin ALSO loves Tommy. Madly. And is super-protective of him. When ANYONE ELSE messes with his little brother. Protective to the point where he once thought I was hurting Tommy... I was changing his diaper as a small baby and he had a rash and was screaming bloody murder... and so a four-year old Calvin launched himself at me. From across the room. And BIT me.
Just once.
But... enough to draw blood.
On my butt-cheek.
He will unleash HELL. At his command. If ANYONE ELSE... bothers his baby brother.
Is what I'm saying.
However... Tommy is his whipping boy. As siblings go.
Lower rank.
The scapegoat.
Not that his father and I approve of this. But... you can't be with them every minute of every day. And, as the third and youngest brother of three, Mellyman believes in the natural order of things.
He is also the most successful of the three brothers. By far.
Though he spent most of his childhood tied to a tree in his yard.
Lost most of his cookies.
And wore their hand-me-downs.
He kept his marbles. Tho.
Is his point.
And he's really really good friends with them both today. Many years later.
Except for the middle one.
TFI.
He believes that Calvin will teach Tommy things. If we let them go to it.
In their own way.
For the most part, we do.
And Calvin has taught Tommy how to pee on a tree, catch a ball, jump off of the playhouse roof, torment a big sister properly and be the recipient of many bouts of digestion's foul side-effects.
Under the covers. In the bunk bed.
He's taught him the Art of The Dutch Oven.
Is what I'm sayin'.
It's genetic tho... their father is the Master of the Detroit Oven.
In the car.
All of this to say: We have little to no class. And Tommy was gonna be IN FOR IT... at the Clown Pool. Because Calvin was "in a mood".
I felt that I'd have to watch the boys pretty carefully.
So... I brought a book.
To the pool.
I was thinking I'd do a little tanning, have myself a cocktail and stay out of the water. Reading my book.
It was a great poolside read, too: The Diary of Anais Nin.
Plus... I had a People Magazine at the ready. Just in case. I can't abide looking at Nicole Richie for very long, tho.
She always makes me order food. For her.
Since she's never hangin' wit her homie Me(l)... I end up eating it.
I looked at the "People" for awhile, watched the kids and Mellyman out of the corner of my eye... and then went to the bar and ordered two beers.
And that was that.
I was really hungry but was looking forward to mounds and mounds of Weiner Salad, pretzel bread and sausages. For dinner. In Germany.
I brought the beer back to my seat and watched the kids for awhile. Some more. That included my husband. Mellyman and Beth were doing the Clown Slide together and basically playing around by themselves. He was throwing her into the air across the pool. She'd swim back and he'd do it again. And again. She was screaming with the fun of it. They were having plenty of fun.
And that man. Who spends his days driving a desk at work. Would NOT be able to lift his arms above his shoulders. Tomorrow. I was betting.
It was a two-thing. My girl and my biggest guy. And I was enjoying watching.
Tommy had his floaty suit on and was paddling around in front of me. Trying to dive down. To the bottom of the pool.
Kept popping up. He could barely get under the water.
Still... he was busy and safe.
Calvin was sitting on the side of the pool.
He had gone down the water slide a few times but was not his generally rambuctious self.
Plus... I think he was mad at me. Too.
I suggested he get over it and play with Tommy. In the water.
And leave me in peace to read my dirty book.
Ok.
He jumped in and they played a bunch of games:
1. Swim under your brother and drag him under. Kicking and screaming.
2. As your little brother tries to swim for the side, drag him back to deeper water. By the ankle.
3. Splash the smaller child in the eye.
4. Give him a mouthful of foot.
5. Jump on his head. In a attempt to playfully drown him.
BUT...
THEN... after I put my dirty book away...
I decided to jump in too.
And play a little something something called, "Looky! I'm bigger than YOU, Calvin, and I'm gonna teach you a little something something!"
It was a fun little something. Something.
Tommy enjoyed it fully and, truthfully, it put a smile on Calvin's face.
Nothing he likes better than being manhandled. In this case: Mommyhandled.
Note to myself: A one-piece suit would have been better for this game of free-style water wrestling. Especially the part where he hooked his toe through into the side of my bottoms. And the tie at the side undid. Causing a brief "Time-out".
I fixed the damage plenty quickly and we carried on.
When we were out of breath. Completely tussled and half-drowned... I realized a bunch of people were watching us.
My bad.
Horseplay.
And all that.
I got out of the pool. Calvin promised to play more nicely with Tommy. And I drank both of the beers.
Whew.
That's when Mellyman came lookin' for Me(l).
Mostly for his beer. But... I'm sure he was lookin' for me too.
He stood in front of me staring at me standing there dripping wet, hair in a big wet knot, two empty beers and one side of my string bikini bottoms done in a perfect bow. The other side pulled too tight and tied in a hasty knot.
"Come here, Woman!"
PARDON?
Me?
"I said COME HERE, Woman."
I went.
Go figure.
He said, "Get me another beer, pronto."
I said, "Why should I? If you're gonna be like THAT?"
He leaned down and looked me in the face and said, with steely eyes, "If you don't... I will drag you up the stairs and you'll do the CLOWN SLIDE. Missy."
I smiled, "You lie."
He smiled back, "Try me, Mel. Just try me. See if I'm kidding or not. You won't know up from down. I swear. Oh, that's wrong. You'll become familiar with... DOWN... pretty fast!"
Smiled wider. THAT smile. That I hate. And... love.
I was all excited. By the threat.
And... threatened. Too.
That's the way he plays it.
I got him the beer.
Let him have my lounger. Brought him another towel. And watched the kids while he drank his beer.
Because, just like Anais Nin... I with a deep instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me. Who does not believe me naive or innocent and who has the courage to treat me as a woman.
I... THINK.
Maybe.
Ask me in twenty more years.
Cheers, Mel.
To be continued. Up next: Gettin' down and dirty. At the Biergarten. In Germany. The down and dirty chicken dance. With Mommies, Daddies and plenty of little kids. It wasn't really that down and dirty. That's what I meant to say. Anywho... Some new friends. Shooters. And a fellow... whose name starts with... Z. Strangely enough.
Amy
) or treats, or Weiners in my salad. ((I like one of those three))
love those things so much. And sharks aren't too scary until they smell blood, I guess I would have to specify what type and size sharks I would do that for though. 
NUAGHTY, I loved it! 
