An Inconvenient Truth: happyhaunt Style! (New... pg. 113!)

[FSUMARCHIEF]

I"m first, I'm first! Its happened twice today! Not both here, but twice anyway. I like the installment! Thanks Mel!

Blessings!
MarkyMark

 

[offwegotoneverland]

I've never really got the whole we are walking around a resort complex the size of a large city so let us walk up a tree thing.

But the whole peeps thing is funny. Do they make halloween peeps too?

 

[MainStMandy]

I've never really got the whole we are walking around a resort complex the size of a large city so let us walk up a tree thing.

But the whole peeps thing is funny. Do they make halloween peeps too?

But would halloween peeps be just as fun??

 

[Mumbler]

Oh Yeah, the Swiss Family Robinson Tree House!!! aka most vigorous workout you can get on vacation!

We call this "the line ride" which is actually from the clever minds of the South Park creators, but holds up very well here, in this instance.

BTW, my daughter has not only SEEN that movie, but she actually really, really liked it!! (She's only six though)

Great report, I usually lurk but the treehouse brought me out of lurkdom cause we were just there (MK) over the weekend and walked by "the line ride"!

 

[sheridac]

However, Billie Jean King did not really look like a pink Peep chick.

More like GI Joe. Before he went metrosexual.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

 

[ZZUB]

This is mind-bogglingly boring.

Wow. Sometimes it's like you're reading my mind.

We've only been in the Swiss Family Tree house once several years ago. Back in the days before I wrote trip reports. We only did it to escape an unspeakable horror. We actually sought refuge in that stupid tree.

We were on Pirates and we were stuck on a boat with the worst kind of Disney people. It was worse than the tour groups. It was two families together. A really loud, obnoxious mom, her husband and three mangy, foul mouthed kids and then there was another family with them. The men were brothers. How do I know that? B/c they were the LOUD, DISCUSS EVERY PRIVATE AND PERSONAL DETAIL OUT LOUD FAMILY. The brother and his wife had two kids. Also, the brother's wife had a "female condition" which she talked about for most of the ride. Nice. Nice memory for our family.

You've never heard so much cussing. No kidding, no sooner had we gone down the waterfall, then the two men took off their shirts and acted like they were paddling the boats. The one guy had a monster belly (this was in the days before free dining, thank goodness or else none of us would get to eat), and the other had what only could be described as man-breasts. In other words, he needed the manziere.

And the smell! My word, the smell!

Finally, the ride ended and we beat cleats out of there. We were desperate to get away from those clowns. But as is usually the case when you're trying to avoid people at Disney, we couldn't escape them. After getting lost in the bizarre bazaar at the end of Pirates, we were headed towards the Jungle Cruise. Only to discover the LOUD, FOUL MOUTHED, SMELLY, OVER-EMPHASIZING THE PERSONAL DETAILS OUT LOUD IN PUBLIC "family" was headed that direction.

So we climbed the stupid tree. To avoid THOSE people.

Thanks for the happy memory, Mel.

 

[bdg100]

Nope, didn't read this one either. But, thanks for sharing. I'm sure it was a great report.

BDG

Where is the delete button on this baby anyway?

 

[UtahMama]

We just blow up peeps in the microwave for fun! Had no idea we could

for SPORT too! Thanks for that little piece of Candian lore! I dont think I can

wait till Easter and I 'll get some peep-spooks!



ZZub? Isn't it a "BRO"?

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Wow. Sometimes it's like you're reading my mind.

We've only been in the Swiss Family Tree house once several years ago. Back in the days before I wrote trip reports. We only did it to escape an unspeakable horror. We actually sought refuge in that stupid tree.

We were on Pirates and we were stuck on a boat with the worst kind of Disney people. It was worse than the tour groups. It was two families together. A really loud, obnoxious mom, her husband and three mangy, foul mouthed kids and then there was another family with them. The men were brothers. How do I know that? B/c they were the LOUD, DISCUSS EVERY PRIVATE AND PERSONAL DETAIL OUT LOUD FAMILY. The brother and his wife had two kids. Also, the brother's wife had a "female condition" which she talked about for most of the ride. Nice. Nice memory for our family.

You've never heard so much cussing. No kidding, no sooner had we gone down the waterfall, then the two men took off their shirts and acted like they were paddling the boats. The one guy had a monster belly (this was in the days before free dining, thank goodness or else none of us would get to eat), and the other had what only could be described as man-breasts. In other words, he needed the manziere.

And the smell! My word, the smell!

Finally, the ride ended and we beat cleats out of there. We were desperate to get away from those clowns. But as is usually the case when you're trying to avoid people at Disney, we couldn't escape them. After getting lost in the bizarre bazaar at the end of Pirates, we were headed towards the Jungle Cruise. Only to discover the LOUD, FOUL MOUTHED, SMELLY, OVER-EMPHASIZING THE PERSONAL DETAILS OUT LOUD IN PUBLIC "family" was headed that direction.

So we climbed the stupid tree. To avoid THOSE people.

Thanks for the happy memory, Mel.

Oh.

So MANY things I'd like to say HERE.

But... I can't.

Because I'm nice people.

It seemed for a second that you were talking about MY family.

For just a second.

You old so and so.

You couldn't have been tho.

Because we've NEVER been on the Pirates ride together.

As far as I know.

But... for a second I was confusselled. My up was down. My east was west. And my beef stew tasted like chicken.

I'm a terrible cook. BTW.

But... my kids seem to like it. Anyhow.

Where was I?

Oh yeah.

I have nothing to say that's nice. So I won't say anything at all.

I'll just leave you with this... twanswait it for yer mutt:

"I've got my pistol in my pocket boy
I'm Alabama bound.
Well I'm not looking for no trouble.
But nobody dogs me around."

Heh heh.

Cheers, Melly.

 

[celerystalker]

You know, I've been doing the peeps competitions for awhile now. But I didn't know about the toothpicks! It makes so much more sense that way. We always said it's the bigger one that wins, but it will be so much more fun to add the stabbing!
Microwaving peeps is the only way I'll eat them. Cuz it makes them taste like roasted marshmellows instead of crunchy sugary fluff.
But then I worry I'm going to mutate. Cuz peeps in the microwave take on that special texture that is definitely NOT normal. So if something happens to me, know it's the peep syndrome.

 

[MainStMandy]

You know, I've been doing the peeps competitions for awhile now. But I didn't know about the toothpicks! It makes so much more sense that way. We always said it's the bigger one that wins, but it will be so much more fun to add the stabbing!
Microwaving peeps is the only way I'll eat them. Cuz it makes them taste like roasted marshmellows instead of crunchy sugary fluff.
But then I worry I'm going to mutate. Cuz peeps in the microwave take on that special texture that is definitely NOT normal. So if something happens to me, know it's the peep syndrome.

ROFL , is there any cure for peep syndrome?

 

[samc]

We aren't into messin' with Crocs. Is what I'm sayin'.

Crocs can be dangerous, especially...crocs worn with socks..by jocks..standing on docks..........it's true...just so ya know

Our brand of dangerous sport is... Peep Jousting.

That's right.

Now... follow my instructions... TO THE LETTER.

But... please don't. Because it's so stupid.

Anywho... take two Peeps.

The lil' sweetie marshmellowy Easter treats. The chicks. Or... when feeling particularily bloodthirsty... the BUNNIES.

(I can't believe I'm writing this, btw. TFI.)

Now then... I prefer a pink Peep chick. And a blue Peep chick-dude. To represent... for me... Billie Jean King and Bobby Riggs and their 1973 "Battle of the Sexes". However, Billie Jean King did not really look like a pink Peep chick.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Then JAM two little wooden toothpicks under the "wings". Of which there aren't really any. To speak of.

So... instead... stick the toothpicks right square in the middle of their bellies.

Capish?

Put them on a microwaveable plate. Close and facing each other.

And crank the microwave on high.

Watch them expand. Until one of them stabs the other one with its toothpick sword.

For the win. Oh yeah.

The bloodsport of marshmellows.

PRICELESS

 

[pongoperdigirl]

Hey yo Melly Poo

It's been a while.
THought I would d
r
o
p
you a line and tell you great report.

And I thank you for sharing it.

 

[MyTalula]

so we happyhaunts decided to climb a BIG TREE.

In the sweltering HEAT. Of a Florida afternoon.

Suffer the dehydration and dizziness.

That comes with heat stroke.

Not to mention the hallucinations.

Of grandeur.


To be continued. Up next: We finish Adventureland. Head out. OF MK. Stopping for a few bad pics and heading to the BWVs. For some happyhaunt fun with water.

Ahhhh haaaaaaa the cool pool, some ice cold beer(ish) beverages the cure for all of the above heat related afflictions. I'm just guessin'

 

[Libade]

I just caught up on both trip reports - thank you! For the laughs.

I would like to contribute to the peep discussion. May I? Thank you.

I found this website last year. Other than yours and ZZUB's trip reports, there has never been anything more funny. To me.

Check it out.

You must.

http://www.peepresearch.org/

 

[mikayla73]

Ahhhh haaaaaaa the cool pool, some ice cold beer(ish) beverages the cure for all of the above heat related afflictions. I'm just guessin'

I have to agree

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

If I combine our names it's easier.

Mela is unable to get a Dole Whip. This trip. And the next one. Too. BTW.

Why?

Because I tend to forget. Even though I REALLY want one.

I think.

I am not a treat-based or treat-oriented person.

I do not run on sugar.

I run on LOVE.

Oh.

BWWWWAAAAAHAAAA HAAAAA!

Sorry.

But... it's true. Love. Along with cheese, protein, fine Canadian beer, fine Mexican tequila... therefore, gas... and myself along with all the other happyhappyhaunts run on competition, laughter, friendship, music, reading, writing and arithmatic... except arithmatic... except for Mellyman.

I also run on run-on sentances. Bad spelling and awful poor grammer, eh.

Anywho... I FORGOT to get myself a Dole Whip again.

And the kids didn't remind me by asking for a treat, either.

All I want is a nice simple Pineapple Float. At Aloha Isle. In ADVENTURELAND.

That's all.

I swore to myself... when I remembered... and we were already half-way down Main Street. That I would get one on my next trip.

Please refer to: One happyhaunt, Two happyhaunt, Red happyhaunt, Blue happyhaunt.

What you'll discover is this: I forgot again.

One day I will get me MY DOLE WHIP.

And I will stop swearing.

Moving on.

Down Main.

I turned around to take some pictures. Of the street. I love Main Street.

I just never get to spend enough time exploring the shopping potential. There.

Mellyman hates to shop.

And I like to keep Mellyman happy.

Especially at Disney.

Shhhhh. Don't tell DH. He'd take advantage of that knowledge.

You can bet your bottom dollar on that. One.

Anyway... here we go:

Oops.

That's in completely the wrong order.

But... you get the picture.

Heh heh.

We decided to take the Resort Monorail back to our car.

Because that's what we do.

It's odd.

I don't know why we do it but we like to take the Resorts-bound line. Both to and from the MK.

I'll tell you why.

This is my call. It's because it goes... CLOCKWISE.

I like to approach the MK. In a clockwise manner.

And leave the same way.

I WAS dropped on my head as a baby. Once.

I was also hit in the head by a ski-lift. The T-bar. Once.

I also had a bike accident. Once.

And drove my highschool boyfriend's motorcycle into the side of a barn.

His.

In fact.

Ok.

That's how we usually do it.

Leave the MK.

Even if it takes more time.

Usually, though, it's the way to go.

Smaller crowds.

Both ways.

And all that.


We headed back to the BWVs.

And decided to have us a little swim before dinner.

Which was scheduled for Germany. The Biergarten. AGAIN.

Yes.

Because we happyhaunts love our pork products. Dancing. And LARGE, HUGE beers.

Mellyman also appreciates the fine blonde German female waiters that work there.

I like the wiener salad.

Until then we decided to hit the POOL.

I'd like to hit that stupid Clown Slide, too.

With a BGM 109 Tomahawk Missile.

Calvin watched us in the room getting ready. And I watched him watching us getting ready.

Calvin: I think I'll stay here.
Me: Why?
Calvin: I think I'll watch this...

Me: You've seen it too many times. WE ALL HAVE. Let's go to the pool.
Calvin: No thanks.
Me: Perhaps... I'm phrasing this wrong because...
Calvin: No you're fine.
Me: Gee. I appreciate that.
Calvin: No prob.
Me: Ok. Then. Don't order room service. No beer. For you. Stay out of my suitcase. Don't make any phonecalls to Canada. And... GET YOUR BUTT MOVING! We are going to THE STUPID CLOWN SLIDE POOL. And you are joining us. Capish?
Calvin: Fine. But, Mom, you aren't ANYTHING like Stacey. Just so you know.
Me: I'll live with that.

We headed down to the pool.

Away from Stacey. And her Top Seven Must-Sees at WDW. Running in a continual loop.

Shut UP! Stacey.

You are the Top Seven Most-Irritating Things at WDW. All seven.

I'd include the annual ticket price increases, the Clown Slide, the inability to get a sandwich at the EARL of SANDWICH, El Rio Del Tiempo, Bazooka-barfing into the pink Teacup's Saucer, the lack of scallops in the Shrimp AND SCALLOP Salad at Chef Mickey's and Kenny Chesney lyrics in that list. As well.

But... Stacey has got all that beat.

I'm GLAD I don't remind Calvin of her.

First of all... no matter what my writing SOUNDS LIKE... I'm not all upbeat, bouncy and chipper.

Heh heh.

I'm pretty laid back. Mellow. Except when competition calls.

Except... I tend to giggle a lot. When I'm happy. Or nervous. Or both.

So we left Calvin's dear Stacey.

And went down the hall to the pool.

"Look at the lazy people, in the lazy river!"

"NUMBER ONE BABY!"

"Love Aerosmith! Love rollercoasters! HELLLLLOOOO!"

Echoing through my so-called mind.



Uggghhhh.



I wanted to shoot myself in the eye. Three times.

They should subject Saddam Hussein to Stacey. 24 hours a day. Running in a loop. The Top Seven. The Top Seven. The Top Seven.

Again and again and again.

Just like Mickey's "Guests".

Talk about TORTURE!


Cheers, Mel.



To be continued. Up next: Swimming. Tormenting your siblings. The Calvin-way. And dinner. With pretty plentiful portions of pork.



Roll TIDE!

 

[nicolemarie]

Am I first?

Now I have to go back and read.

OK - I've read it now. And it's funny as usual.

 

[Mr. Silly]

I have meant to have a Dole Whip since childhood. I have never had one in DisneyLand ever. But I have had one. Once. Last time we were In Disney World, actually. It was pretty good, though my expectations based on decades of anticipation were probably a bit high. Once I get to it in my TR, you can assume there will be a novella on the experience, likely including a brief dissertation on something possibly not directly unrelated to Dole Whip, though somewhat loosely related. Like Scooby Doo. Which really has been concerning me, EMI.

 

[jamal]

Melly!!!!!!!!!!

I am simply running out of ways to express how much you entertain me.
Suffice it to say you did NOT underwhelm me with this installment.

But... it's true. Love. Along with cheese, protein, fine Canadian beer, fine Mexican tequila... therefore, gas... and myself along with all the other happyhappyhaunts run on competition, laughter, friendship, music, reading, writing and arithmatic... except arithmatic... except for Mellyman.

Triple snort....
Jam