An Inconvenient Truth: happyhaunt Style! (New... pg. 113!)

[auntk]

Mel - Those last 2 installments (heck - all of them) were too funny. Thanks for being the bright spot in an otherwise rotten day.

 

[MomPlanner22]

Mellyman gets Astronomy? So does my DH. That must make their circulation at least 2 (though I suspect not much more!)

Great TR! Loving it!

 

[nicolemarie]

Mel -

The question is, have you seen Space Mountain with the lights on?

Because that's when it really becomes scary. Those tracks are VERY close together. I will never raise my hands or head in that ride again.

Now Rock n' Rollercoaster and Everest? Bring it. They're awesome. In a not at all scary way.

Another hilarious glimpse into the family of Happyhaunts. Lovin' it every time.

NM

 

[Tinkerbell Teen]

I swear my report will be up before I turn 13. This part. But my braces are giving me heck. And lots of it.

That was good. I love Space Mountain. You are one heck of a writer.

Update more. I'll lose my head if this takes any longer.

 

[ZZUB]

Let me see if I understand this correctly.

You jump off of cliffs into waters of unknown depths.

You ride Missioneath knowing full well IT HAS KILLED PEOPLE. More than one I might add. (I might also subtract and multiply if I was in a math mood)

You ride the insensitively named Tower of Terror.

You ride Rock-n-Rollercoaster. Which, I observe, has also killed people.

You eat at the Biergarten.

You'll ride a surrey bike around the Boardwalk.

You sip tea in an over-priced hotel.

And you're afraid of Space Mountain?!

Are you out of your Vulcan mind?

It goes, what, 28 miles an hour? The monorail goes faster.

It's dark. So is Peter Pan.

It's jerky. So is Thunder Mountain. In fact it's worse.

Space Mountain is nothing. Mainstreet after Wishes is more frightening.

In fact, Wishes is more frightening.

Toughen up, Mel. You're starting to act like an Ole Miss Priss.

No wonder Tommy Bama (cool name kid) runs away from you.

And Pepper killed himself.

 

[bdg100]

Another great installment!

Ditto

 

[Backstage_Gal]

Great stuff as always, Mel!!!!

I rode SM with my mom back in the 80's, when she was 70 something. She sat behind me, so I couldn't see her. I did not hear a peep out of her the entire time. Thought she had given up the ghost, or something!!

Turns out she was afraid to lose her dentures, so she kept her mouth shut. Good move on her part!

Last time I rode that ride too, for some reason...... (and I still have all my teeth!). That ride just killed it for me.

 

[DisneyNutMary]

Great installment Me(l)
I was quite shocked at your fear of Space Mountain- I can't imagine that you'd be afraid of anything.

Thanks for the new word too....enqueuing I'm sure I'll be using thay on in the future- and fonding remembering your trippie

 

[Minnie]

Mel - Though I hate to do it I'm going to admit something (ZZUB turn your head) I've never rode SM (chicken - well yes) but have rode several times on MS (in which I zzub each time) for my DS. TFI.

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Let me see if I understand this correctly.

You jump off of cliffs into waters of unknown depths.

You ride Missioneath knowing full well IT HAS KILLED PEOPLE. More than one I might add. (I might also subtract and multiply if I was in a math mood)

You ride the insensitively named Tower of Terror.

You ride Rock-n-Rollercoaster. Which, I observe, has also killed people.

You eat at the Biergarten.

You'll ride a surrey bike around the Boardwalk.

You sip tea in an over-priced hotel.

And you're afraid of Space Mountain?!

Are you out of your Vulcan mind?

It goes, what, 28 miles an hour? The monorail goes faster.

It's dark. So is Peter Pan.

It's jerky. So is Thunder Mountain. In fact it's worse.

Space Mountain is nothing. Mainstreet after Wishes is more frightening.

In fact, Wishes is more frightening.

Toughen up, Mel. You're starting to act like an Ole Miss Priss.

No wonder Tommy Bama (cool name kid) runs away from you.

And Pepper killed himself.

I'm not.

Not one bit.

Everyone is scared of things.

My things are: spiders, snakes, Space Mountain, Spice Girls, salmonella, Sargent Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band The Movie, soap-on-a-rope, sweaters with really tight necklines, sweddish masseuses, strawberry poptarts, sleepwalking, skorts, subliminal messages, Star Trek, skinamarinky doo, schnadenfreud and Sheridac.


Except for Sheridac.

'Cause I know that she knows that I know that she knows that I know that she knows I'm kidding.

I know.

Sure... I'm afraid of some "s" stuff. Who isn't?

And... I've been called MANY things in my lifetime: stupid, foul-mouthed, plageriser, hackneyed, lame, tacky, trashy, insane, idiotic, snarky, unpleasant, smelly and stupid. Again.

The above... all by YOU. TFI.

That's not to say you're not a friend. By any means.


HOWEVER... I've NEVER, EVER, EVER... been called "prissy". Before.

By anyone. You included.

Or anyone.


Therefore... THANKS, ZZUB!


You made my day.

Roll TIDE! Right back at Ya!

Cheers, Mel.

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Ditto

Oops!

Forgot a few more "s" words.


Heh heh.


Cheers, Mel.

 

[celerystalker]

Wow. I just got back last night and got caught up on your trip report. Thank you so much for the glimpse into your family. Are you planning another trip soon? I don't know what I'll do when you finish this trip report. I know some out there think you won't ever finish, but I have faith in you! While I was on vacation, I missed your installments terribly. I even had a dream that you came to Nashville to catch me up on the latest happy haunt jaunts. Give me a call if you ever decide to stop in!

 

[Ginamarie]

OMG I just read your entire thread today. I'm not going to mention how long that took. I will say that I laughed! I cried! I managed to avoid any semblance of work or house-cleaning! If only you could charge admission for a thread.

This is what I get for staying off the TR forum for 6 months!

 

[flafan]

Loving your report, thanks for sharing

 

[bdg100]

Oops!

Forgot a few more "s" words.


Heh heh.


Cheers, Mel.

What other "S" words could you have been thinking of? Let me help. Super Star or maybe Super Duper Star? Even. Gee, thanks Mel.

Great report. Thanks for sharing.


BDG

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

While Mellyman and the two smaller, taller happyhaunts did Space Mountain. Two times.

Tommy and I checked out the bathroom beside Space Mountain.

More fun than SM, by the way, and also... the arcade. In the base of Space Mountain.

Specifically... THE CLAW.

I always try to play THE CLAW... whenever I see it.

Whenever, wherever.

At the mall, at Disney or even at the more hoity toity eating establishments that the happyhaunts frequent.

Because of this: I am unable to ever grab a freakin' prize. Playing the stupid game.

Why?

No idea.

Both Mellyman, Beth and Calvin can do it.

BOTH.

Heh heh.

I cannot.

CANNOT.

Oh... I can usually PICK UP the cheap stuffed toy. I just cannot seem to bring it to the slot or opening afterwards.

Oh... The Claw is my Master. Too.

The amount of money I have spent on it.

Time.

And frustration. Factor.

And, yet, I cannot seem to obey The Claw any better than anyone else in my life.

The Claw decides who will go. And who will stay.

It seems to have decided I will STAY... in front of it for endless moments. Pumping my husband's hard earned coin in. It seems to have also decided that I will GO... away. Eventually. Without a stupid purple stuffed goldfish.

Again.

The Claw is my second greatest nemesis.

I think.

So... Tommy and I clawed around for awhile waiting for the rest of the happyhaunts. To finish up.

I looked at souveniers. In the dump shop and decided that I really didn't feel the need for a Space Mountain T-shirt. This particular day.

Or any day.

Finally, the rest of the Space cadets arrived.

All excited from their rides.

And all ready to mock poor lil 'ol Me(l). As we walked through Tomorrowland.

I took in all with grace and dignity.

And, then, hoofed my beautiful bride in the back of the knee, in midstep, causing him to wooble. And nearly fall.

Then I laughed.

Because of this: I can.

We had to decide what to do next.

Calvin: Let's go back to Adventureland.
Tommy: Yes. I may want to, too.
Beth: Ok. What did you do there besides The Jungle Cruise?
Calvin: That's all. We only had time to do that once after lunch and Buzz Lightyear.
Me: PARDON? I said... I said... PARDON ME?
Mellyman: We did it a couple times while you guys were at tea. Big deal. Heh heh.

(And then he ran.)

Away from Me(l).

He ran... pushing our empty dirty stinkin' crippled EMPTY stroller.

Looking like a maniac.

And, really funny and cute.

What I'm saying is this: I liked his butt... while running like a lunatic pushing our empty smelly stroller.

We chased him down. Me dragging Tommy and Calvin screaming koala noises at the top of his lungs.

Beth looked like she would DIE.

From the spectacle of it all.

She's getting used to it tho.

Indeed.

Anywho... as we were walking, again, Calvin said that he couldn't WAIT to do Pirates of the Caribbean.

I told him it was closed. For rehab.

No one believed me.

They laughed in my face.

For some reason.

Okay, then. Let's GO.

We went.

Guess what?

CLOSED! CLOSED, closety close closed. Close close closed. Closed closed.

One of those words.

Just sayin'.

Beth looked somewhat happy, and at the same time. Disappointed too.

Funny that.

I've BEEN THERE before. Let me tell ya.

Everytime we view our wedding video.

One of the speeches, by a friend of mine, bordered on obscene.

Also... I was captured barefooted, dress held high, hair down in a wild tangle, and a cloth napkin/bandanna tied around my head like Axl Rose, dancing to "Fire Woman" by the Cult.

With The General looking on. In the background.

I believe she was weeping.

From the joy of it all. Of course.

Passing me over to Mellyman. For GOOD.

Where was I?

Oh yes.

Disney. Not my wonderful/horrible wedding video.

Pirates was closed. Due to the Re-Depp.

Of it all.

All a good thing. Mind you.

Because of this: Johnny Depp is cool as CRAP!

I've said it before and I'll say it again.

He is a dirty pirate man. Who doesn't give a half of a crap about what anyone thinks about him.

In real life, too.

For one... he lives in FRANCE.

For another one: He is a fantastic actor. He breathes life into the quirkiest characters. And makes you believe. Just watching his eyes. You believe him. He acts with his eyes and his gestures as well as the untoppable Groucho Marx. Once. Did.

For two... he was a real wild child who has turned into, reportably, a private, loving, family man.

Who said, upon the birth of his daughter: She gave me life.

What's not to like?

Nothing much.

Just that he's too good looking.

I've always had a ~ no-goodlooking guys policy.

Stringent.

Except for Johnny Depp and Jon Bon Jovi.

Oh.

And, YOU, my beautiful bride.

Hi honey!

Heh heh.

All THREE exceptions are ok because of one thing: Nerd factor.

Except for Johnny.

That is.

"Those are my principles. If you don't like them... I have others." ~ G.M.


Cheers, Mel.



To be continued. Up next: A bunch more crap. Adventureland. And a big tree. More stuff. Is what I'm threatening.

 

[UtahMama]

Another brilliant piece of literature from the DIS boards Celebutant!!!

Another little ditty ("about Jack and Diane") I nearly laughed myself silly over!

Today is a GOOD TR day, I tell Ya!

Thanks for the sticky, chewy-goodness that is YOURS!


Love Ya!

 

[GOOFYsince71]

"Re-Depp"..................everytime I think I have heard it all from ya Mel,
you never cease to amaze me!
I think a Happyhaunt Dictionary should be on the shelves..Just for the sheer joy and fun of it all...You have quite a wit my dear, quite a wit~



------------------------------------------------jan

 

[dean556]

finally caught up

 

[ZZUB]

The Claw is my second greatest nemesis.

One can only imagine who your greatest nemesis is. Judging from this report, I'd say common sense and decency.

One of the speeches, by a friend of mine, bordered on obscene.

I think the surprising thing here, is that the speech wasn't full on obscene. I mean she was, after all, your friend. Or was she?

Here's a thought re: the claw. Whenever you have the impulse to play it. Don't. I recognize this may be a novel idea, Mel, but you really don't have to give into every impulse. Indeed, many of your impulses should be simply ignored. Like this Tripe Report.

On the other hand, at least each chapter doesn't conclude with an annoying so-called cliff hanger. I hate those.

And you can write. Like no one else.

But you still smell.

And probably should be arrested.

Again.