an 18 year old wants to take a 25 year old to a prom

[hentob]

Honestly, I don't think the school would approve a 25year old, just because the chaperones at the dance would have a very difficult time placing limits upon an adults behavior.

Good point

 

[golfgal]

Doesn't anyone have a dad like mine? If I was 18 and I said I was taking a 25 year old to the prom - he would have said "yep....over my dead body". End of story, there would be no negotiating. And he wouldn't have given a rats butt if I was "a legal adult" 18 year old.

My Dad didn't think I should go out with a junior when I was a sophomore, he was a summer birthday and I am a December birthday so technically he was only 6 months older then I was but that didn't matter .

Our old high school just did away with any issues involving bringing kids of various ages, only kids that were currently a junior or senior in high school were allowed to attend the prom-no one younger, no one older. The kids that were dating older/younger kids ended up either going with a friend or would go stag with a bunch of friends. No one seemed to think it was an issue.

 

[Papa Deuce]

Agreed.....18 living at home and going to high school doesn't scream Adult to me...


Seems the no's are outnumbering the yes, but apparently not many no's are voicing their opinions, just voting..

And the ones who did it themselves are being vocal. I would like to see what they think if they have an 18 year old daughter 5, 10, or 15 years from now. I bet the answer might not be the same.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

I don't know. I'm just putting it out there... but here is one thought... say a 16 year old girl is attending, and this guy takes notice of her too often, maybe she wonders about the creepy older guy?

Sorry, but as a female who was once 16, 17 and 18 years old, a 25 year old guy to a 16 and 17 yo female is not anywhere NEAR being a creepy old guy.

If a 16 yo is at a senior prom, then she is with a date. Why would she concern herself with someone else's creepy old bf?

 

[ziggystardust]

I did too. Well kinda -- I was 18 bf was 22

 

[helenabear]

And the ones who did it themselves are being vocal. I would like to see what they think if they have an 18 year old daughter 5, 10, or 15 years from now. I bet the answer might not be the same.

I don't think you have a right to speak for people here. I think we know by now that you hate the idea of it. You are happy that 51% of the population here on the CB agrees with you. However, that won't change my mind. I think the school has no right to put limits on that, and I really am shocked when I hear how much information people had to provide. The world hasn't change *that* much. The media only has you believing the world is much worse now than it was 20 years or so ago (look at stats and you will find this to be faaaaar more true than you may want to believe)

 

[Becky2005]

Also, if the school claims they've had to tell other people that their older dates couldn't attend, then it should be a clue to them to have put it in writing by now.

Our school DOES have it in writing. My oldest isn't old enough to go to Prom but I'm always looking ahead and can find the information out. I was curious about something else so I had to look up how our Prom did things. They had the prom information on-line with all the rules. I accidentally found out more 2 weeks ago when it was our Prom because my DD does her cheer at our HS and it was Prom, so basically when I went to pick her up, there were prom kids everywhere. I loved how they did that because the parents were invited to come see the crowing of the Prom court (which I didn't even *know* existed -- I had never heard of a Prom Queen/King before only homecoming in our school.) I thought it was nice for the boy's parents to be able to see the kids and take pictures, etc... It was a really nice set-up for the gym & then basically a red carpet send off for the kids to get on the busses.

Ours is chartered bussed into the city for their actual prom, they do have a rule "Attendees must be High School Age but not older than 20". Plus if your date happens to be from another school, they need a waiver from that school that they are in good standing there. It's all spelled out. Looking at the order form you have to put everyone's names, circle the year they are or if they are non-our school & then have to have the waiver if they are non-our school before you can even buy tickets.

So, in our case, the 25 year old wouldn't even be allowed to come.

 

[Papa Deuce]

I don't think you have a right to speak for people here. I think we know by now that you hate the idea of it. You are happy that 51% of the population here on the CB agrees with you. However, that won't change my mind. I think the school has no right to put limits on that, and I really am shocked when I hear how much information people had to provide. The world hasn't change *that* much. The media only has you believing the world is much worse now than it was 20 years or so ago (look at stats and you will find this to be faaaaar more true than you may want to believe)

So, if a 17 year old senior walked in with a 38 year old guy, that's cool by you? ( And I am not assuming a sexual relationship, or that it is her dad, or her uncle ).... no lines should be drawn?

I won't speak for you. You tell me.


As to the second point, I was referring to a post about 40 years ago, not 20..... show me THOSE stats.

 

[Bunchkin]

When I was 18 I had just started dating my then 23 yr old boy friend (whom I ended up marrying 6 yrs later ). I did NOT take him to my prom even though he asked.
I thought he was too old!!! I ended up going with a long time friend instead.

DH still razzes me occasionally about not taking him. .......18 yrs later!!!

 

[Becky2005]

The world hasn't change *that* much. The media only has you believing the world is much worse now than it was 20 years or so ago (look at stats and you will find this to be faaaaar more true than you may want to believe)

That may be true but the legalities have certainly changed, if for whatever reason something happens and it's the older person that causes it, the school would be liable more than likely. I'm sure *someone* would sue since people sue for everything now so basically the school does everything to CYA as much as possible. I'm trying to think way back when I was in school, I'm pretty sure we had an upper age limit too (not sure about lower but everyone would think it's bizarre if a Middle Schooler showed up. I do see our school took care of that with the "high school age" part.)

I know in our case too there is a post-prom that is at the HS that goes until 3:30 AM and your parents will be called if someone is not at school by 12:15 AM (that doesn't attend prom, you can attend post-prom even if you don't attend prom). It's pretty much a lock-in environment. That would be really weird to have to call a 25-year old's parent and say "they are not at the school at the designated time" plus would they *want* to be locked in without being allowed to leave, etc... See the an above post where that happened with someone wanting to go out to their car for something. They thought it was silly that they should have to follow the rules due to their age. Well, then what about the 18 year olds that are there? Should they then challenge the rules too since they are an "adult" even though they are students at the school too? I suppose if the adult could actually follow the rules and not think they are too old to follow them, then it could work but most aren't going to think that way. Who knows, maybe they smoke and want to go take a smoke break even though you aren't allowed to smoke anywhere on campus (at least here). So, they would have to make sure they could go from at least here approx. 4:30 pm until 3:30 am without a smoke and being accounted for and basically be under a chaperone that amount of time.

 

[Crankyshank]

I have to laugh at the fears a 25yr old date would be leering at the 16yr olds. Who is to say he will? and how is this different from the 16yr old going to a wedding, vacation, the mall, or anything in her daily life where she will encounter older men?

The 18yr old and the 25yr old have been dating for several months. It's pretty likely many of her classmates have met him all ready, and if the parents are fine with it then I really don't see a problem with him attending as she is over the age of consent.

 

[ozarkmom]

I voted not sure. My DS is 17 and her BF is 22 and she wanted him to go with her but he didn't want to and I could see his point. I'm not even sure if he would have been allowed. I haven't seen any rules other than if they don't attend our school you had to go to the office and write their name down and I don't know what happens from there.

 

[Papa Deuce]

I have to laugh at the fears a 25yr old date would be leering at the 16yr olds. Who is to say he will?.

Well that was ONE thought. I didn't say HE would do anything. How about this? Someone 21 or over can far more easily have access to liquor. Yes underage kids can get it, but it isn't always easy. Maybe this guy ( or any 25 year old ) would be quite happy to supply the liquor to minors. Happens ALL THE TIME.

I bet this guy is a stand up fellow. I don't have any issue with him at all. But not every 25 year old guys is. And if the school wants to help kids in this fashion, I am all for it.

And the school needs to protect itself from lawsuits.

 

[MsAmerica]

My nephew is going to his next door neighbor's senior prom with her because her 20 yo boyfriend said he was to old to go to prom after two years of college. He said that prom is for HS kids, not college kids.

I can't imagine ANY 25 yo guy even wanting to go to a HS prom unless he had major control issues over the girl to begin with, but that is a whole other topic.

MsA

 

[shirleyb]

Haven't read past page 1, but here's my take. MY 18 yo daughter would not even be dating a 25 yo, so for her, it wouldn't be an issue, however, if this girl's parents are ok with it, then so am I.

 

[BuckyFan04]

I chose "no," but I hadn't stated my opinion before now because I'm still only a little unsure as to if I would be okay with an 18-year-old going to prom with a 25-year-old. If the 18-year-old and 25-year-old were both mature, responsible people, then as a parent I might be okay with my 18-year-old kid taking the 25-year-old, though in reality I don't think I'd let my 18 yo date a 25 yo in the first place if he/she were living in my house. If I were a parent of another kid (not that 18 yo) going to the prom, I might be a little uncomfortable with the 7-8 year difference between the 25 yo and my kid if I didn't know the 25 yo.

If I were looking at it from the school's point of view, however, I might think a little differently. The school doesn't know how the 25-year-old will act around all of these younger kids (though, granted, they don't know how any guest will act, regardless of age). They don't know if the 25-year-old will bring alcohol to the event, and there's a greater chance that that may happen since the 25 yo can legally obtain it. Like others have stated, it would be harder to monitor/control the actions of a 25 yo.

I think that the school is well within its rights to set an age limit on its functions, limiting who the school lets into its own doors or its functions and who is around the students that the school is responsible for while they are attending the school's functions.

If I were an 18 yo attending a prom, I don't think I'd feel too uncomfortable with a 25 yo there, if the 25 yo were behaving himself. I might think it's a little weird that he was there in the first place, but I don't think I'd find it that creepy.

As far as permission/information slips go, I think it's a good idea for schools to require them for guests to their proms. It would be good for the school to have emergency contact information on hand if the guest gets into trouble, gets hurt, etc. Also, if a high school aged guest causes trouble, then the school can contact the guest's school so it can take proper disciplinary action if needed, since the guest is a representative of his or her own school.

Sorry for writing a novel, but I wanted to get my opinions out there.

 

[Robinrs]

Funny... I just found this.

My Mom married my Dad when she was 16 and he was 23... I guess if they went to a prom they'd be those ages!

They were married for 61 years... I guess sometimes it works.

 

[LuluLovesDisney]

If a school doesn't allow a 25 year old prom date to go, they will be criticized by some, but if they do allow a 25 year old prom date to go and something bad happens, you can bet parents would sue the school for failure to protect their child.

It's a liability. Prom itself is a big liability for schools. If they don't check who attends in any way, shape or form, they're just opening themselves up to lawsuits.

 

[Tink_Or_Belle]

I just read something last week (maybe here?) about a High School girl who is taking her dad to the prom because he is being deployed and she wants to have this great memory with him or something... would they have said no to her because I bet he is WAY over 25. I don't think our school had a rule I know one of my friends took a really old date (ok he was probably 24 but we thought he was an old guy) The school did however say no to the member of the junior class (age 16 almost 17 ) whose girlfriend was in 8th grade (age 14)

 

[Kimberly]

I went to a prom 2 weekends ago (was around the 1st) because a friend's little brother had a date ditch him a the last minute. I felt bad, so I offered to him that if he needed a date, I'd be available. Not a big deal in my opinion, and even helped him out with the limo.

I had a fun time too, and I'm 23.