an 18 year old wants to take a 25 year old to a prom

[Papa Deuce]

They've had a 6 mos relationship, so why not? It's not like it's a one night stand for heaven's sake. I was 17 and invited a 27yo to my senior prom. He became my DH, it's last 43 yrs and still going strong!

Things were way different in that time. I can't see the comparison.

 

[MichelleVW]

Things were way different in that time. I can't see the comparison.

I agree....somehow I would be very concerned on what a 27 year old man would want with my 16 year old child (who although very intellegent and can be mature) says "like" every other word and wants to hang out in the mall with her friends!!

 

[almburr]

we had a problem like that here, student is a senior and 18, BF was 26. Also had a senior who is 18 wanted to take his 8th grade girlfriend. I dont have a problem with the senior and older BF, but I do with the senior and 8th grader.

 

[Piecey]

I didn't realize schools would look into that kind of thing. I don't think we ever had to name our dates to our prom (or even if they went to our school or not) She's an adult, let him go. I doubt anyone would even notice or care that he was there.

I had to fill out a "prom date request form" listing the legal name of my prom date, the school he attended, his age and contact information for that school. The secretaries actually called the other schools to discuss the 'temperment' of the requested date and then passed the information on the vice principal, who made the final call. (I was in an office assistant position and always found those calls amusing )

I knew of a few that got turned down.

 

[Barb]

I'm pretty sure our high school has an age limit and I'm pretty sure 25 is too old.

 

[Beth76]

same here... If so I wouldn't of been able to go to mine.. I was 17 and dh 23 at the time. I was 6 months pregnant and didnt want to go anyway

Well you would have been able to go.

They've had a 6 mos relationship, so why not? It's not like it's a one night stand for heaven's sake. I was 17 and invited a 27yo to my senior prom. He became my DH, it's last 43 yrs and still going strong!

This isn't an issue of the relationship of this couple. They are both adults and it's no one else's business. The issue is the appropriateness and safety concerns of a not-even-near-high-school-aged adult attending a high school function. And why would it be ok since they're dating for 6 months but not ok if she just met him? Are you going to be the person to investigate the length of people's relationships?

 

[robinb]

Things were way different in that time. I can't see the comparison.

What do you mean: "things were different"? Were girls more mature? Young men less so? It was OK 50 years ago but NOT OK now? That's just silly IMO. Girls and boys were after the same thing 50 years ago as they are in 2007.

What seems to be going on is that the HIGH SCHOOL has taken it upon themselves to regulate the age of the people that their students date. If it's OK with the mom of a 17-year old to date a 24 year-old then what business is it of the SCHOOL to tell the girl "no"? If you won't allow your teen girl to date a man in his 20's, that is totally up to you. BUT it's not up to the school to decide, IMO.

Honestly, I would be concerned about my teen daughter dating men in their 20's and 30's ... only because I did i myself. I wonder what those men really saw in the young immature college woman that I was at the time. Of course, from over twice that age I know now , but I think I even knew then. The song "Hey Nineteen" by Steely Dan has always had a soft spot in my heart. It tells of a total disconnect between people from different decades. oooking back, I felt the disconnect then too and I started dating men closer to my own age.

 

[Papa Deuce]

What do you mean: "things were different"? Were girls more mature? Young men less so? It was OK 50 years ago but NOT OK now? That's just silly IMO. Girls and boys were after the same thing 50 years ago as they are in 2007.

Calm down... sheesh!

What I meant was that TIMES are so much more scary now. People "may" have not been as vigilant. So, in the way people behaved, YES, I think it would have been more acceptable from a safety standpoint back then....

but hey, I was only 1 or 2 then...

 

[disykat]

IMO if you're mature enough to date a 25 year old, you should be mature enough to understand why 25 year olds aren't an accepted part of the high school social scene.

 

[transparant]

Doesn't anyone have a dad like mine? If I was 18 and I said I was taking a 25 year old to the prom - he would have said "yep....over my dead body". End of story, there would be no negotiating. And he wouldn't have given a rats butt if I was "a legal adult" 18 year old.

 

[VBfan]

Still wondering how the date's age was 'discovered'.

I hope this school pays this much attention to 'psychiatric' issues and teacher's backgrounds, to insure a safe campus.

 

[Andy B]

I have voted that she should be allowed to take him although as a Brit we do not have the formal Prom which seems to have such a significance for you. My wife is 4 years older than me so would not have been allowed under some of the rules that have been outlined.

One of the things that always surprises me about the USA is that for a country which seems to want personal freedoms, the amount of restrictions you impose.

 

[hentob]

I guess I am wondering what 25 year old man would even want to go to a prom with bunch of teenagers? Why doesn't she just go with a friend? At 25, DH owned his own home and, of course, worked full time. I am giggling at the prospect of him even wanting to attended a prom at that stage of his life I can only imagine the ribbing he would have received around the water cooler the next Monday


So, I don't think the problem lies with the school, but with a grown man that would even want to attend such an event

 

[inaminute]

Would a 25 year old feel at ease with a bunch of high schoolers?

Probably not. Poor guy probably doesn't want to go, but his girlfriend does. Since he cares about her and wants her to be happy, he'll make the sacrifice and go.

He COULD be a keeper.

 

[powellrj]

we were in the opposite situation with my DS. Back when he was in HS, his manager at McDs wanted him to take her to the prom as his date. She was 24, divorced with a small child. Since I was going to be helping to pay his part of the "date" I said no way was I going to help him pay to take her to the prom.


I agree that he is doing this because he wants to be a good boyfriend. The DS in my prom story is now 24 and there is no way he would WANT to attend the high school prom, but I can see him agreeing to it to make his GF happy. Since his GF is 23, I don't have to worry about it.

This year is my middle DS that is a sophomore going to the prom with an older woman (junior)!

 

[MichelleVW]

Doesn't anyone have a dad like mine? If I was 18 and I said I was taking a 25 year old to the prom - he would have said "yep....over my dead body". End of story, there would be no negotiating. And he wouldn't have given a rats butt if I was "a legal adult" 18 year old.

Agreed.....18 living at home and going to high school doesn't scream Adult to me...


Seems the no's are outnumbering the yes, but apparently not many no's are voicing their opinions, just voting..

 

[auntpolly]

What I meant was that TIMES are so much more scary now. People "may" have not been as vigilant. So, in the way people behaved, YES, I think it would have been more acceptable from a safety standpoint back then....

i don't know they were pretty scary then, as I look back.

Raise your hand girls if you did some stuff when you were a teenager that, well, all I can say is THANK GOD nothing bad happened!

 

[hentob]

Probably not. Poor guy probably doesn't want to go, but his girlfriend does. Since he cares about her and wants her to be happy, he'll make the sacrifice and go.

He COULD be a keeper.

Eh. I look at it more like a wimp of a grown man. Perhaps he could say something like "Honey, I know we have been "going out" an entire 6 months and all, but I really don't think it is appropriate for me to be hanging out with all the teens at The Prom. Surely you understand why this makes me uncomfortable. I am a grown up and, after all, there will most likely be chaperones my same age. It's just plain weird. No thank you. How about you take a friend".

Again, maybe it is just me, but I would be a bit turned off by a grown man who would want to hang out at a dance intended for 16-18 year old kids that are playing dress up for the evening

 

[hentob]

Back when he was in HS, his manager at McDs wanted him to take her to the prom as his date. She was 24, divorced with a small child.

How strange

 

[momof3disneyholics]

When I was 18, I took my boyfriend that was 27 at the time to my prom. He didn't "want" to go, but knew how much I did, so he went and had a good time. He knew all of my friends from school anyway, and I knew his friends too.
We had a good time, and I'm glad I have that memory to look back on.
I don't think there is anything wrong with bringing someone that much older than you to prom. Heck, other 18 year olds were the ones sneaking in the booze at my prom.