Amy's Journal: Comments Welcome!

[toystoryduo]

Amy,

Hope you had a good weekend.... Have a wonderful week!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Tracy thanks for all your support. You are right, thanks to Wishers like you, I have a very nice family to support me when I need it. And not ruin my Mother's Day in the process!

I am sorry I have been MIA so long. Last week was really a blur. I think I was really just drained all week long from the fiasco of Mother's Day. I realize that my relationship with my sister is a joke and I have to figure out how to have a relationship with her that doesn't leave me feeling so drained and angry. I know I need to see her less but also know that is going to put my parents in an awkward postion and also know that my relationship with my nephew is going to suffer if my relationship with his mom is severely altered. Too much to think about quite frankly!

I did so so with food last week. I didn't exercise but twice, not nearly enough. Dh and I have made a plan to walk tonight but the weather looks ominious. So if that doesn't pan out I need to treadmill instead.

I did pretty well on the weekend with food. Parents took us out for dinner, I had helped my stepdad with his medical settlement (which finally came in) and he took us out to thank us. We went to local steakhouse, I did eat some appetizers but had a plain top sirloin, no potato and no alcohol! In fact I didn't have one cocktail all weekend. We had out of town friends in yesterday and again, I ate too many snacks but held my own during lunch, no cocktails and thew out the leftovers. Then I skipped dinner.

I shopped for clothes on the weekend. So much nicer than before, I am down 1-2 sizes and was able to buy some styles I haven't worn in awhile, namely clothes that aren't baggy! So that was nice. I do have some stuff that still fits from the tail end of last summer (stuff I bought before the cruise) but its getting too big and hopefully will be too big altogether very soon.

I now need to get to journals to catch up with all of you! I am really hoping for a stellar few weeks here before the trip. Still holding out to hope to make it to 40 pounds by June 15 when we leave. But I need to stay focused. And I am going to WW for sure on Wednesday. Didn't make it last week due to an appointment.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Okay, I did my walk with dh. He is stressed about work so that was good for him. While walking I ran into my old friend. She and I were best friends (or not) for 30 years. We had a parting of the ways. I never know what to say to her, we attempted a conversation across a semi busy street, neither one caring enough to cross the street and talk for real. It upset me as always and as usual she made no comment about my weight. At over 35 pounds I would think she would but oh well. At my weight maybe its not that noticeable, she's not the only one who hasn't. I don't have an ex husband but if I did I think it might feel like this if I ran into him. How strange to have shared so much, her daughter's middle name is after my daughter, I used to be that kid's godmother and now we do some half a** thing across a street. What a dumb world sometimes we live in.

I have dh out grilling chicken, I am having a healthy spinach chicken salad. Food was good today except for some stupid chocolate chip cookies I thought were gone. Well, they are now .

Breakfast: 4 cookies (8)
]Lunch: Lean Cuisine (4)
Snack: Hamburger patty (4)
Snack: protein bar: (2)
Dinner: Salad: (5), wheat thins (3)
Total: 26, right on target. But could have made some way better choices. Did get in my 45 minute walk.

I also forgot to add earlier, apparently menopause has decided to not come after all. After a four month hiatus (had a hormone check, dr. said they were so low this was likely it) I had a TOM to end all TOM's last week. What a nightmare! I do feel better this week but it wreaked havoc with my mood, bloating and everything else. No idea when or if that will happen again. At 42, its been over 8 years of this but this time I thought I was really done. With my luck I'll be cursed the whole time I'm in California!

Also found out we need $1200 worth of window repairs, just what I didn't need less than a month before vacation. Took the money out of savings and will have to scramble before we leave. It is always SOMETHING!!

 

[goldcupmom]

Gee, Amy, I hear you about TOM. It's here, it's gone, months at a time. SO hard to deal with! I've been doing this for well over 10 years!!!! When will it ever end!!

Sorry Mother's Day was such a bummer! Many days I'm thankful I live half a country away from mine.

Glad you're getting back on track!

Have a great rest of the week and Weekend!!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Julie, I guess I was hoping menopause for me would be like it was for my mom: just stopped one month, end of story. But then my mom never had a menstrual cramp or PMS either!

Today was good, dh and I did get our walk in, I wasn't sure we would it poured rain here for several hours. It was chilly, only in the high 40's with this weird cold front that moved in. But we did it and I was glad we did. Food today:

Breakfast: Oatmeal w/ walnuts (6)
Lunch: cheeseburger and half small order of fries from McD's (10)Not the best choice but dd was so nervous about her hearing test I told her we would have lunch when it was over. At least I got a Happy Meal and didnt eat the whole order of fries.
Snack: Southbeach diet cookies: (2)
Dinner: Chicken strips on salad greens: (6) Orange (1)
Total: 25, one point under

Ate McD's with dd after her appointment with the audioligst. No real change, doesn't need to go back for a year so that was a real relief. The school nurse, Mrs. Doomsday always calls me with a: "your daughter flunked her hearing test, you REALLY need to get this checked out, she could go deaf". As usual, it was the same, slightly hard of hearing with a couple of tones, nothing to worry about. Then we had some time to kill before I could take her back to school (her class was at lunch) so we went shopping. I bought a few more shirts. Another 15 pounds and I will never shop in the section that says "WOMAN" again. Always conveniently located next to maternity and the restroom. Can't wait to be a regular size again. Heck, even a 16 will feel like a real thrill for this former size 22! Actually I think I even had some 24's at my highest.

A funny sidenote. I am an American Justice junkie. I watched it today while I was folding and ironing, an episode that showed a trial of some guy that killed his wife. The prosecutor was quite heavy in the trial footage. But the interview after the trial where she talked about the case, clearly shot much later, she was at least 50 pounds lighter. It was amazing. She looked so much younger and more attractive. It was quite motivating to see right in front of me a before and after of this woman. And she nailed the S.O.B. that killed his wife in the process! Kept me from eating the kids choc. chip cookies, I ate the Southbeach Diet ones I bought instead! Thank Miss Prosecutor Lady on American Justice!

Weigh in tomorrow, no idea how I have done, the TOM thing and the stress of last week probably didn't help matters too much. But I have recouped nicely the last four days so who knows? I haven't stepped on the scale once so its a msytery waiting to be revealed!

Thanks for stopping by.

 

[toystoryduo]

Amy,

I wish we lived closer to one another so we could walk together and chat. I completely understand what you are going through with your sister and your former best friend. Been there, done that. It's so hard when we have challenging relationships with family and no relationship with friends we used to talk to all the time. It's amazing to me how a person can be close to someone for such a long time and then it's like they're both traveling on separate paths. It can be so hard. We're here for you, WISH sis!

I'm sending you some for weigh-in. I hope it goes well for you!

Did you watch Oprah yesterday with Bob Greene? I had a couple of light bulb moments during the show yesterday.... see my journal for details.

Hold your head up high, Amy! Be proud of the progress that you have made and the progress you will make. This is our year!

Have a wonderful Wednesday!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Oh Tracy, I wish I had known Bob Greene would be on Oprah! I didn't watch it yesterday but wish I had! I need to look on her website to see when he's on. Hopefully now that summer is almost here my afternoons wil slow down a little bit. I know you understand about this stuff with my sister and friend. Its just hard when I see my friend so often, we live in the same neighborhood, kids go to the same school, etc. I run into her more than I would like and I hate the awkardness of the situation!

Weigh in was good, I was down two pounds. So I was really happy with that. Six pounds to go and I can be at 40! I have decided to take my scale along on vacation. With being gone two weeks I think its important for me to weigh a few times. I am hoping that when it inches up as I know it will, that number will remind me not to go so overboard I have to re-lose 10 pounds when I get home.

I have been really good today, I feel very much back on track. Although I am disgusted that since March 28 I have only managed to lose two lousy pounds. Not acceptable. These plateaus which are really just periods of time when I lose focus, really kill my overall weight loss. Still, I am down 14 pounds since the third week of January. Of course to confuse all of you more, that is partly weight I gained over the fall and holidays. Lose a little, gain some back, lose that, lose some more, gain some back... It never ends!

We have two bbq's on Saturday, one is a graduation we can only stay at for an hour and the other is at our usual monthly dinner group of friends. I am really looking forward to both and know I need to save all of my flex points for that day. It won't be pretty given my love of burgers, brats, queso, beer and brownies all of which I know are on the menu! The rest of the weekend I have carefully planned out, the only other dangerous thing is going to see Pirates III, popcorn is also something I am not always great at resisting!

Here is my food thus far:
Breakfast: Protein bar: (2)
Lunch: Healthy choice meal (4)
Snack: wheat thins with salsa (3)
10 points thus far, I plan on making a healthy dinner. I think I will also go down and have a bowl of cereal, I have 16 points left for the day and I am hungry. Don't see me waiting until dinner which is probably a good five hours away!

Edited:

Here is dinner:
chicken: 6
Veggies w/ sauce:1
Pasta: 3
Salad: 1
Cherries: 1
Ice cream cone: 5
Total: 26
Splurged and had a baskin robbins cone, worth all five points. Points were right on target, it was raining so I treadmilled for 30 minutes, wanted to do 40 but had to help dd with a writing assignement. So a good start to my new week. I also bought a very nice, digital food scale today at WW. $39.95 and already came in handy when I weighed my chicken breast and found it to be about 4 oz biggern than I thought it would be. Must have been a chicken related to Dolly Parton. So I cut it down to size. I have been bad about measuring and be truly accountable in the last six weeks and the scale's measly loss shows it! Time to get serious with the the weighing and measuring!

Thanks for reading.

 

[toystoryduo]

Congratulations Amy on your two pound loss! That is wonderful!

Sounds like you have a fun weekend ahead of you. You'll have to let us know how Pirates III turns out. I think I'm going to wait a couple of weeks to see it.

Have a great Thursday!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Tracy, your are such a good support to me!

Yesterday was good until I got stressed due to some more stuff with my sister. Add to that dh's stressful as in God awful stress at work and we decided to go out. I had three Coors Lights, some chips and salsa but only 1/3 of dh's combo plate (Mexican). So I ended up using 15 Flex points. That leaves me only 10 left which I intend to use tomorrow night. I have decided to arrive at the first party chewing gum and full of the 32 oz. of water I intend to drink right before I leave home. Second party is a gamble, but I'll do my best. Sunday and Monday I intend to stay on track. So we'll see how this holiday weekend turns out! Tonight is when we are seeing POTC III, and I am taking my own popcorn and a Special K Protein/chocolate bar. Again, I am planning ahead we'll see if I can stick to the plan!

I hope everyone has a great weekend, Summer is Here!

 

[toystoryduo]

Amy,

I hope you have a wonderful weekend.

 

[traceycooper]

Hi Amy
ARRGHHH sorry DD is harrasing me right as i'm trying to type this & is having a major teen strop!!
Well done on the 2lb loss, keep heading for that 40lb milestone i'm sure you'll get there
Sorry to hear things arnt going well with your sister.
Have a great time at the movies, i'm dying to see POTC 3, just havnt had time to fit it in, hoping to go mid week, hope its as good as the last 2!

 

[toystoryduo]

Hi Amy,

How was your weekend? How was POTC 3? I've heard that Captain Jack was only in about 1/2 of the movie. Who knew a pirate could be eye candy? ARGGHHHHH!

Hope you have a great week! How many days till your Disneyland vacation?

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Tracy and Tracey! POTC 3 was great, eye candy galore Tracy! Jack Sparrow wasn't in the first half hour, but since the movie was 170 minutes long he was in far more than half.

Weekend was pretty good with food, esp. given it was a holiday weekend. I surivived the movie fine, didn't eat at the first bbq on Saturday and then only ate about half what I normally would at the second (which was still far too much food but I am improving). I did however have way too many drinks!

TOM came back again. Four months off now two in two weeks. I am so bloated, I am up 3-4 pounds. Really discouraging when except for those cocktails I did very well on the weekend. This is the kind of thing that really gets me down. I see my 40 pound loss by June 15 not happening. At this point I may not even make 35, which I was at according to my scale on Saturday and I am now 4 pounds away from.

Oh well, TOM is done (for now) so maybe I can shed the water and then the fat to get to my goal. Never hurts to hope!

I am having out of town company this weekend into next week so that is going to make for some challenges. Its always something! I think I will amend my menus, I was going to make fried chicken (these are friends from Texas). My mom always made the best, she always made it for company and I can do about as well. So I thought it would tickle her (and it did when I told her) for me to make her old standby. I think I'll grill it instead. She wont' remember and if she does, oh well! Just don't need a bunch of fried food to lop on more pounds on my bloated body!

Thanks for reading, I think I'll go put my fist through a wall in a fit of menstrual/weight loss woes!

 

[traceycooper]

Hi Amy
I'm sure TOM is to blame for those teeny 3-4 pounds, Dont worry i'm sure as TOM goes away & you get back on track after the weekend it will all melt away.
I saw POTC 3 last night, wasnt what i expected but if Johnny Depp is in it i'm happy

 

[toystoryduo]

Amy,

Please don't get discouraged. I bet those 3-4 pounds are from TOM and will just melt away.

I hope you have a great weekend! I think your plan to grill is a good one.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Tracy and Tracey! TOM is most likely the culprit, two pounds of it is gone but still one pound hanging on. Trying very hard not to get discouraged or head to the nearest vet to get myself fixed!

So today I had lunch out with dh. We went to Rumbi Grill, my old standby for my 11 point salad. But wait, according to Dottie's latest update, its 16 points not 11! So that is a seven point, rather huge difference. Luckily I double checked when I got home, Dottie frequently updates so at least I know now that my healthy salad ain't so healthy after all!

Food today:
Oatmeal: 5
Salad: 16.5
Southbeach bar/milk: 4
Ice Cream: 6

I would not have had that ice cream had I known I was over on my points. Oh well, thats what flex points are for.

So my total for the day: 31.5, basically six flex points used. And I have to be done for the day, I can have some veggie soup (0 points) later if I get hungry. Luckily a late lunch should keep that from happening.

Not sure if I will walk tonight, took a one hour one yesterday but today I am trying to get the house cleaned for my company! And dh is working late, kids have no homework so its just me and my mop with nothing to stop us!

Thanks for reading.

 

[traceycooper]

Hi Amy
Have a great weekend & happy mopping

 

[dabute]

Hi Amy,

Sorry to hear you are struggling with being discouraged. It seems are bodies never do what they are supposed to be doing. The most important thing is you are not giving up. That makes you a winner in my book. Have a wonderful weekend.

Jennifer

 

[toystoryduo]

Hey WISH sis! How was your weekend? Hope it was a good one for you and your family!

Have a great Tuesday!

 

[eeyore25]

Hi Amy,

Sorry to hear about all the stress that you are having/ had. WIth everything going, I think you are doing great. Congrats on the 2 pound loss. That is great.

You asked in my journal if we got the hail the other day....man did we ever. I looked out my window at work (16th street mall) and it looked like it was snowing. I had to take pictures with my phone to show DH I knew he would not believe me! It hailed for a good 20 minutes for so. Crazy I tell you.

We too went to see POTCIII and I loved it. DH didn't really like it so much. He said they left too many story lines open. They didn't explain things well. I thought it was great and I loved all the great eye candy. Especially Will at the end!!! YUM!!!!

You are doing great! Keep up the good work!

Have a great day