Am I the only "mean" mom during the summer?

[Beca]

I don't think you are mean, but your dd is certainly expressing that she is not enjoying what should be a carefree, enjoyable time.

My dd is 4. Her summer is NO different from the school year (a good thing she doesn't know the difference between summer and "regular" times). Some parents think I am crazy, but I have actually ADDED to her summer activities rather than taking away. Why? She is getting older and can handle more.

However, I have put her in things that she LOVES to do. Her private school, which is in walking distance (so we walk for exercise) is holding two separate sessions this summer....a 6 wk one on music, and a 6wk one on travel. Yep, she is in both!!

She also does gymnastics, cheerleading, ballet, and "clinics" at our neighborhood gymnastics studio. I have that kid doing at least one hour of "activity" 6 days a week. And then, in the evenings, if she wants to, we swim or jump on the trampoline as our "family" time.

I agree that teaching children the value of physical education is VERY important, but I HATE walking on a treadmill and would never make my dd do it. Activity is important, so I find things that interest her. If your dd is already very active, why the need for the treadmill?

As far as school work, why not see what she would like to "explore" over the summer? Rosetta Stone has some really good programs for learning languages that are easy and fun...even my 4yr old gets into them. And, what about sitting down with your daughter and reading some of the great "chick" books of our time? I simply ADORE Jane Austen, and probably would've as a young teen if I had been exposed to her. Who knows, maybe she will "fall in love" with the grammar and deportment exemplified by Jane's heroines, and this could serve as her impetus to make sure she excels in these areas. And, what young girl would not fall in love with the "Anne of Green Gables" series of books? Maybe summers could become a study of "Great Books"? In the future, maybe you could even make a point of planning your vacations around the visitation of these places.

Finally, I would give her some choice in how she chooses to educate herself, and how she chooses to exercise. Let her know that inaction is not an option, but let her make some choices...then, help to ensure that she carries out those choices. I do think children should have a large control over what they do in the summer...surely, you can find a "common ground" on this one.

Of course....you are her mother...but, you did kind of ask.



Beca

 

[N.Bailey]

Well she just asked me as I was writing this thread what grammar she had to do for the week. I told her. She was back 10 minutes later with it all done. So her grammar for the week was done in 10 minutes. HHHHUMMMMM maybe as a mean mom for a reward for finishing the weeks work already i will add more......LOL. Just kidding. She is done with grammar for the week in 10 minutes, so i don't think she is overworked. Amazing how much they can get done when they want to. She is going to Vacation Bible school this week (she is a counselor for cheer) so wanted more free time.

Does this mean you only require 30 minutes a week reading? I agree with others that this is your child and your call, but I feel reading should be done daily.

My son is IEP, so I'm with you on summer work. Our school wants my son to attend summer school, but after going that route for a few years, my son felt he was being punished. We made him a deal at that time that if he agreed to do a little work over the summer, we would never make him go again. While it was beneficial, I think it was doing more damage than good. So, we work on school work a bit during the summer. It certainly doesn't consume his time though, but he needs the refresher. The school allows us access to the library all summer as every book is color coded according to reading level. This is something the town library doesn't offer and it's been a Godsend for us.

My daughter doesn't do quite as much, but sometimes I put her in charge of helping him and she learns quite a bit that way too, so it just works out well for us.

 

[momm2four]

I don't think you're being too tough. I wish I were disciplined enough to maintain something like that over the summer.

Especially in math, I feel that practice is the only way to become more proficient. It would be nice if my next year's math students would practice this summer so that next fall, I wouldn't have to go back over basics that they should already know.

I agree that summer is a time to relax, but for goodness sakes, if my kids have the entire day for themselves, it certainly won't kill them to work on 10 math problems or read for 20 minutes.

I am going to try to make sure that my two oldest sons practice their mult. facts this summer at least 20 min. per day. I'll do this with contests and online games, but my goal is for both of them to know their facts backwards and forwards. Lack of knowledge in this department slows down math students more than any other single thing I can think of, IMO.

...and if this post contains incorrect grammar or misspellings, please ignore and chalk it up to the fact that my DH left today for a 4 day business trip, so I've been alone with my kids all day (as I will be the next 3 days), and I have had myself a little party with a couple Seagram's Bahama Mama coolers (after putting the kids down for the evening, of course )

Lori P.

 

[PaulaSue]

You have 50 minutes listed just with the last 2 things so I am guessing it would take at least 1 1/2 hours a day just for the paper work you listed.

IMO, OP it way too much everyday for a child her age considering it is summer vacation not even couunting all the other sport related items per day. When does she get a break to be a kid?

 

[Mom21]

and I have had myself a little party with a couple Seagram's Bahama Mama coolers (after putting the kids down for the evening, of course )

Lori P.

I think after this I may need to come over and borrow a few....LOL. Have fun.

 

[DISUNC]

On days she doesn't have a scheduled physical activity (cheer, tennis) she must walk on the treadmill for 15 minutes--usually only 2-3 days a week.

So is she right? Is she the only child abused in this manner? Do I work her like a slave? Does every other child get to spend all of their day how they want...which in her case would be whining about how bored she is......HAHA

Honestly...If I was your kid...I'd run away from home. I am sooooooooo with your DD on this!

Summertime is DOWNTIME for kids...Thats why it's called VACATION! And most 9 year old are VERY acive naturally during this time. Chores are OK, and Reading is OK...but I think you are way toooo structured!

I would act the same way as your DD if my boss gave me all this WORK to do on my vacation!!!

Really you have to Lighten UP!! Her reaction to all this is quite understandable.

You are only a Child ONCE!!! Let her ENJOY Childhood!

 

[MamaLema]

OP, I guess we'll be mean together. My kids aren't off until the end of the month, though. But they usually do 1 page of math, 1 page of grammar and some reading. They are 7 and 9 and even the 2 year old grabs some crayons and draws during that time. Maybe no one will believe me but my kids enjoy it!! They ask me for worksheets.

We usually go to the park 2 hours in the morning and 2 hours in the evening, with occasional swimming. They have plenty of time to be kids in my opinion.

I don't think you're a "mean" mom.

 

[Mom21]

When does she get a break to be a kid?

Let's see. She sleeps 9 hours a night. I require 1 and 1/2 hours of work on a bad day. Let's just say 30 minutes to take a bath and brush her teeth. That leaves 13 hours to be a kid. I am sure she will survive on that.

 

[WatchinCaptKangaroo]

Certainly you can save the treadmill for rainy days and go for a walk with her for 15 minutes. Fresh air is good for adults and kids alike.

 

[Mom21]

OP, I guess we'll be mean together. My kids aren't off until the end of the month, though. But they usually do 1 page of math, 1 page of grammar and some reading. They are 7 and 9 and even the 2 year old grabs some crayons and draws during that time. Maybe no one will believe me but my kids enjoy it!! They ask me for worksheets.

We usually go to the park 2 hours in the morning and 2 hours in the evening, with occasional swimming. They have plenty of time to be kids in my opinion.

I don't think you're a "mean" mom.

Thank you. Will you be my new best friend? Guess you get me.

 

[robertsmom]

With my kids, we "bribe" then to do workbooks over the summer. We "pay" them with special treats like a trip to a major league baseball game. Works okay for us and it helps keep them up on their school work. They have good grades and that is all we ask of them. JMHO, Jay

This works for me too. He is required to read 30 minutes a day (reading comprehension is a problem for him), but he knows that if he does extra reading, I will surprise him with tickets to a Texas Rangers game (which he LOVES). Actually, I would probably do that anyway since it makes him so happy, but he doesn't need to know that!

 

[robertsmom]

Let's see. She sleeps 9 hours a night. I require 1 and 1/2 hours of work on a bad day. Let's just say 30 minutes to take a bath and brush her teeth. That leaves 13 hours to be a kid. I am sure she will survive on that.

Ok, I have to ask......you don't really seem to want opinions that differ from yours, so why bother asking?

 

[epcotfan]

Honestly...If I was your kid...I'd run away from home. I am sooooooooo with your DD on this!

Summertime is DOWNTIME for kids...Thats why it's called VACATION! And most 9 year old are VERY acive naturally during this time. Chores are OK, and Reading is OK...but I think you are way toooo structured!

I would act the same way as your DD if my boss gave me all this WORK to do on my vacation!!!

Really you have to Lighten UP!! Her reaction to all this is quite understandable.

You are only a Child ONCE!!! Let her ENJOY Childhood!

I agree. Sometimes too much structure isn't a good thing. I know of a couple of kids I went to school with that totally rebelled once they had the tiniest bit of freedom. Other children had no clue what to do with themselves whenever they had "free" time because no one was telling them what they should be doing.

 

[maxiesmom]

Why not let your child have summer off? When we are adults we have to work year round, what I wouldn't give to be able to take a couple of months off. Why the push? Even if you feel the need to educate your children during the summer, why not do it at the zoo? A museum? I don't agree that a 9 year old needs a set study schedule during what is supposed to be a break.

I'm sorry but I don't agree with you. Why do kids have to be occupied every minute of the day with studies, sports, and volunteer work? What happened to time to play?

 

[disykat]

I don't think you're mean at all. I do similar things with my children each summer - although "every day" would be a gross exageration! We do it on days we don't have other plans.

20 minutes of music practice, half an hour spent reading, and another 10 -15 minutes on whatever skill we're working on seems very reasonable to me. Also, I expect some activity and sometimes if they haven't ridden their bikes or whatever - they actually CHOOSE to go on the treadmill. Often, they join me when I'm exercising (we have sort of a home gym set up).

Basically that means my expectations are about 40 minutes in the morning to do music and something else educational - and then 30 minutes, usually at bedtime, for reading. They also have a few chores. It's almost exactly as the OP described.

They get up at around 9, laze around a bit before doing their work, finish up by noon, eat lunch and then play/relax until dinner, then play some more before coming in to shower, watch some tv, and read before going to sleep.

I'm honestly having trouble grasping how people think this is too much.

 

[DISUNC]

I agree. Sometimes too much structure isn't a good thing. I know of a couple of kids I went to school with that totally rebelled once they had the tiniest bit of freedom. Other children had no clue what to do with themselves whenever they had "free" time because no one was telling them what they should be doing.

I've know 100's of kids who rebelled due to this kind of structure!
Also I find most kids are bored cause they were never aloud to JUST BE kids, someone is always telling them what to do.

Really OP, your daughter TOLD you ..."She was actually holding her head between her hands and screaming about how she "only has 2 hands. How can you make me do so much." And no she wasn't kidding. It was an actual meltdown." Like so many other Moms on this thread You are IGNORING this! This child is not "HAPPY" to be doing this!!!

Dont POO POO this...LISTEN TO HER!!!! This is excatly how a sad 9 year old reacts!

 

[Caradana]

A few thoughts
- How did she do in school this year? If straight As (as I assume), I'd require a half-hour of reading every day of the summer, plus the chores, and call it a day at that.
- Does she have friends who come over? A lot of her activities seem individual, aside from cheer. The homeschooling-to-school adjustment isn't negligible. I'd make this summer all about her and friends. She should be running around outside with them.

 

[Mom21]

I've know 100's of kids who rebelled due to this kind of structure!
Also I find most kids are bored cause they were never aloud to JUST BE kids, someone is always telling them what to do.

Really OP, your daughter TOLD you ..."She was actually holding her head between her hands and screaming about how she "only has 2 hands. How can you make me do so much." And no she wasn't kidding. It was an actual meltdown." Like so manu other Moms on this thread Uou are IGNORING this! This child is not "HAPPY" to be doing this!!!

Dont POO POO this...LISTEN TO HER!!!! This is excatly how a sad 9 year old reacts!

Ok! Now, I am not a nasty person, but I can say that I am going to be nasty right now. Maybe if your mom had made you do grammar pages you would know that is it "allowed" and "BEcause" and "exactly". Not going to comment on the rest, as those are a few of the glaring ones. BTW, my dd is as happy as a child can be that is required to be accountable for her actions. Guess I should just let her be, and then she can grow up to be like my brother: in jail.

PUHLEESE. Do you have kids? My dd is a drama queen. She is going to give a drama if I make her clean up a game she played for the day. That is just how she is. She isn't ready to commit suicide yet. SHe seems happy child for the most part.

 

[ktpool]

Let's see. She sleeps 9 hours a night. I require 1 and 1/2 hours of work on a bad day. Let's just say 30 minutes to take a bath and brush her teeth. That leaves 13 hours to be a kid. I am sure she will survive on that.

I am not sure why you would ask for other opinions than be snippy when they give them to you

If you don't want to take what other parents are saying under consideration, then perhaps you shouldn't have asked.

 

[lsyorke]

..."She was actually holding her head between her hands and screaming about how she "only has 2 hands. How can you make me do so much." And no she wasn't kidding. It was an actual meltdown."

This should be the answer to your question. She sounds like a kid who needs some downtime to be a kid.