Am I really supposed to feel sorry for my friend? (long vent)

[DocRafiki]

Originally posted by aahmom1
Maybe you shouldn't be so worried about what your friends spends and worry more about yourself. Seeing as how she doesn't want to go into debt up to her eyebrows she obviously has somewhat of a brain in her head.

The only times I worry about what she spends is when I can see it leading to disaster (like not saving up for emergencies, like now). Thanks for the implication that I have no brain in my head. I do urge you to reconsider that one. I have enough confidence in my IQ (not to mention documentation) that I'll challenge yours any day.

You really shouldn't insult an entire group of our society because you think you belong on some pedestal because you won't take a job in waitressing or retail. How offensive can you be? Who do you think works in the restaurants and stores you build your debt in? The fact that you think you are better than them because you sat home for months without a job MAKES ME LAUGH!

Hey, you know that last post that wasn't directed towards CindyB? It was all for you. Enjoy.

Do a little growing up, it'll do you good.

Typical. Yes, I guess I was "grown up" when I worked at McDonald's. Thanks for the ***umption.

I'd rather live in Florida too.

I'm not jealous of my friend. She's not jealous of me. I think I've found where the jealousy lies here. Do I feel guilty now for achieving my goals? Yeah right.

 

[aahmom1]

Scroll up Doc.

I said I would rather live in Florida too, that wasn't being snotty, I would rather live in Florida. If you have a choice between Florida and up here, you're in the right place. There's nothing great about snow and cold, I can tell you that.

 

[Steve H.]

The comment about the consumer debt vs. the school debt has be confused. What is the difference here? If you didn't pay either debt you could be sent to a collections agency.

I think the point they were trying to make is that a student loan typically has better interest rates, payback periods, etc. than something like credit card debt.

 

[ByTheSea]

If people aren't picking on one person it is another. Why can't some people around here just grow up and get a life!

 

[DocRafiki]

Thanks, Disney. If I were as good as you at expressing myself, maybe this wouldn't have gone this far.

I do understand school debt vs. consumer debt (somewhat), and yes I know all about compounding, as my $110K will be $200K if I take 30 years to pay it off (which I'm not planning on doing).

My credit card debt is my #1 debt-reduction priority, even though a good amount of it is at a lower APR than my student loans.

Now back to defending myself.



Aahmom... I'm not sure who you were addressing when you asked...

Let me ask you, why is it ok for you to comment on what others say, but nobody else can?

But, really, I hope no one gave the impression that some people aren't allowed to express their opinion. I invite all opinions. Just be prepared for a response (unless I get so fed up that I just give up on this thread).

 

[aahmom1]

Not you, and if you look up you'll see that if I misread what you were saying I apologized.

 

[snoopy]

Hey, I paid for my entire college education from a waitress/bartender job. Its hard work, but the money is good. I was good at it, I guess, but I sure as heck don't ever want to go back to it. Can't say I blame Doc for not wanting to either. She went to school for 8 years, she wants to work with animals, so be it. Good luck in finding something more suitable to your skills, Doc.

As for the friend, don't we all know someone like this? I have a friend who when I have a problem, she has to put in her two cents about her problem as well. Nevermind that her problem isn't as big as mine, or that her Mommy and Daddy have bailed her out of every bad situation she has ever been and probably always will. We call her "topper" because she always has to top whatever it is you are talking about. I've learned to not share my problems with her, she isn't very good at empathizing or just listening. She's good for other stuff though, so I keep her around as my friend.

 

[SonjaB]

What was the question?

 

[DocRafiki]

Originally posted by Toby'sFriend

If I was single and had no children, I would be working 18 hours a day 6 days a week at whatever I could do to earn money.

You mean even if you were in debt, or regardless?

I don't consider $5k to be up to your eyebrows, but at $100k in debt you'd better know how to swim really well. I waitressed in college and it was hard work that paid very well. I did a good deal of my studying at 2:00am, not much sleep.

I'm glad your starting work again soon DocRafiki. Best of luck to you.

I've gotten to the point where I see life passing me by, and I need to take time for myself. I was one of maybe 5 people out of my class of 80 who had a job on the side during vet school, and most people thought I was nuts for doing it. (But, hey, one was at The Disney Store, so I'm sure you guys could understand that I needed the escape). I spent many a night at the school, taking 10 minute naps on a couch in the hallway, not to mention being on E.R. duty until midnight and being called in for emergencies at 2 a.m. I had very little "life" for 4 years (not that pre-med was a picnic at the time, but seems like a cake walk now). My last job was 10-12 hours a day x 5 a week, and it really wore me ragged (still much easier than being in school). I am tired. I have no intention of letting my career BECOME my identity and then waking up at age 50 not knowing who the heck I am. Money is not that important, and I'm nowhere near needing it that badly.

 

[DocRafiki]

Originally posted by Poohbear123
I don't think that Doc Rafiki was bad mouthing waitresses or burger cookers, I think she thinks that She deserves to be paid 10.00 an hour or more, and not really have to work for it. This is how ALL young people feel these days, my 2 included! If you had a "mental breakdown" maybe your feild of work isn't for you, and you should make some Life Changes. {{{Hugs}}}.

Yes, you're right. Getting that full tuition scholarship was a breeze, pre-med/biology/chemistry was a breeze, vet school was a breeze, and being a vet is a breeze. I really haven't had to work at all. Now if doctors make SO much money for NO work, then why isn't everyone doing it?

Are you of the 'school of thought' that the only real work is manual labor, by any chance?

Why did you put "mental breakdown" in quotes? I never said that. That's what I'm trying to avoid.

I've made no secret on here that I've hated my job. I had no idea of the realities behind it. I daydream of other jobs nearly every day. I sometimes look at my techs or receptionists and wish I could switch places for just a day. I envy truck drivers when I'm driving to work. However, I'm stuck in it due to the loans. I'm also still hopeful since I know a few people who felt the same in their first vet jobs but now love what they're doing since they're in a better clinic. So, I'm not giving up any time soon. But, thanks for your concern, and feel free to PM me with questions about pets any time.

 

[DocRafiki]

Originally posted by SonjaH
What was the question?

Yes, I'm wondering how this became another rant about my career choices and finances.

Back to the person in question... she is actually one of my 2 best friends, has been for 10 years now. She just does annoy me with her spoiled routine every once in a while, and we'll get into a little tiff about it. I don't want to give the impression that I hate all of my friends. Sometimes you just have to blow off steam.

Now I'm really mad at you all for keeping me online all evening.

 

[chell]

Doc, after reading all of these responses I can't remember exactly what your question was. I do remember the basics though. I do hope you are still in one piece though!

Like someone else mentioned, she may be jealous of you. You have a plan and you know what you want in life. Maybe she wishes she did also. I know people like that. On the other hand, she may be just like my mother and has to be the center of attention at all times. No one can ever be in a worse situation that she is. You would be ROTFL if I told you some of the stuff she has pulled.

If I were you, I wouldn't feel bad! And I wouldn't feel sorry for her either. She does have to grow up some time.

By the way, congrats on the new job. I hope it is everything you want it to be.

 

[gepetto]

Originally posted by DocRafiki
I envy truck drivers when I'm driving to work. However, I'm stuck in it due to the loans.

Actually some over-the-road truck drivers do really well. They can make as much as $60-80K depending on how many miles they drive. That could go a long way towards paying off your loans.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

Well like I said - Best of luck to you Doc Rafiki. Quite frankly you've made some career and school choices that you are going to have to live with for a very long time. Even though you feel that "money just isn't that important" I somehow suspect that those loan payments are on your mind quite frequently. I don't envy you the stress of having to live with that.

Quite honestly my reaction and the reaction of many others were a direct response to the lecture you gave Stay At Home Mom's on the Debate Board the other day about 50% of them are lazy, unwilling work, incapable of taking care of themselves, and poor role models. Frankly, this new information about you does put an interesting perspective on that post.

As for your friend -- well of course nobody likes to listen to constant whining. But of course she's worried about losing her job. Lots of people are worried right now. It is a crappy job market and it isn't getting any easier. You yourself know seeing that you have been out of work for the past 6 months.

If it were my friend, I'd do my best to cut her a little slack.

 

[janette]

Friends like that can be annoying sometimes Doc. Just let it roll off and hope it turns out alright for her.

I don't have a degree after several years of trying too while I worked at various jobs. I still don't have a degree but thankfully I managed to get a job doing what my degree would have been in. Although I worked as a waitress I don't want to do it again, I would have to be desperate. That doesn't mean I don't respect what they do just realize it's hard work and I prefer other types of jobs.

It's great to have a Dr on the DIS, I appreciate that you help us out with your expertise I hope the new job is everything you want it to be.

 

[bsnyder]

Jen, I think you have the right attitude, that maybe the first job just wasn't the right atmosphere for you. You've worked hard to become a vet, and I think you'll find the right place to use your skills and talents.

I'm hoping the new job is perfect for you!!

And I want to echo Janette, and thank you for the time you spend helping the many DIS pet owners. It's very much appreciated!

 

[Buckalew]

Truly, after reading this I have eye strain and I do forget the question... LOL

All I want to do is wish you lots of luck on your new job. My BIL is a vet and a darned good one too. It is a lot of hard work for much less $ than a medical doctor. (Personall, I think it is a harder job also because a vet has to know about different animals, birds, reptiles instead of the human body, pets can't talk and tell you where it hurts and there aren't very many people out there with vet ins. so people want you to cure their animal w/o having to pay you much $ for doing it) Anyway, my BIL worked for 2 vets before he started his own practice. He's in a great building and has built up a very good business. If you ever want to move to TN look us up.
Oh, & this thread reminded me why I don't like to vent here.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

Some people just have a "woe is me" attitude. My sister is like that. After DH and I got married, we moved into a yechy little apartment with walls that looked like they had been peed on (we did fix it up and it looked cute), but while I was in the midst of trying to get it all together and cleaning up the former tenants' dirt, my SAHM sister called to complain that her DH said that they were going to have to save money by cutting down on the housekeeper's hours...the poor dear! I just always dealt with my own situations...she whimpers about hers all the time to me.

Altho I had a degree in Accounting, I worked for 2 1/2 years as a paper carrier when the kids were younger...I could fit it into my schedule...worked from 4:15 - 6:15 AM, then DH went to work when I got home. I did VERY well, but quit when DH had to travel more for work. I WISH I felt I could waitress...it's can be a nice, flexible, good-paying job. God help me if I ever had to work at Accounting again...learning it in college was great, working at it was awful. Yech.

Pre-marriage/children is a great time tho to be a little more carefree...take some chances, find out who you are and what you really want to do.

Now...I have this German Shepherd and he...oh, never mind...you get the night off.

 

[Serena]

Hi Doc. I think I remember the question.

It is perfectly ok to get tired of someone complaining.

 

[DocRafiki]

Buckalew... someone who understands! (and some other people too ) If only we could have stopped at one species! And don't forget we're expected to be emergency drs, cardiologists, surgeons, internists, gp's, OB/GYNs, etc. I don't want to discount MDs though. I have great respect for them. Though we hear a lot that vet school is harder than med school, I could never go through a residency like they pretty much have to, and the stress of having an animal's life in my hands is enough. I could not handle having that responsibility for a person. And I know the gp's & pediatricians get a bad rap when they're also expected to know it all.

Hey, gepetto... don't give me any ideas! That is tempting! But, I know that kind of money is for Looooong hours, and I do like my time at home with my dogs. Plus, I have to look into the future; my time at work now is an investment for the future, when I might be able to open my own practice. I don't even want to think about that now. Of course, I could always buy my own trucking company too.