Am I really supposed to feel sorry for my friend? (long vent)

[Poohbear123]

I don't think that Doc Rafiki was bad mouthing waitresses or burger cookers, I think she thinks that She deserves to be paid 10.00 an hour or more, and not really have to work for it. This is how ALL young people feel these days, my 2 included! If you had a "mental breakdown" maybe your feild of work isn't for you, and you should make some Life Changes. {{{Hugs}}}.

 

[Kelsie]

My reaction was completely different when I read this. Doc, do you suppose your friend just needs someone to talk to? Not to be compared or judged. I have friends who do things I may not agree with but I will always be there to listen if they need me.

Just a thought

Good Luck with your new job!

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

you know what? I'm a professional, but I'm also a mom. guesss that changes my perspective, too. I worked on an assembly line in college. if I had to do it again to feed my kids, I would in a heartbeat.

but I wouldn't put the work expererience on my professinal resume.

 

[Beauty]

He is stuck up in Mississippi, which is where I was for 9 months before I found my first vet job down here. That area is hopeless as far as jobs are concerned, and just being there can suck the life out of a person.

AMEN TO THAT!!!!!!! We wouldn't be here for a second longer if John didn't have a wonderful job. But believe me hes one of the lucky ones, there are NO jobs here and I say anyone who gets out is lucky!

And if you're thinking of making me your new honeywolf, you can stick it.

You go girl!

 

[SPAGo 98]

Originally posted by Poohbear123
I think she thinks that She deserves to be paid 10.00 an hour or more, and not really have to work for it. This is how ALL young people feel these days, my 2 included!

i wouldn't say that. it's safe to say that doc wouldn't touch my job with a 10 ft pole, and i still do it for less than $10/hr. some of us understand that debt is a horrible vicious cycle and it's best to stay out of it in the first place.

 

[RUDisney]

I think Sonja's right. You're at a different time in your life than someone with kids. Heck, I wanted to take some big risks professionally before we got our kids, too. DH is not a big risk taker and I'm not bitter about not taking those risks.

I've gotta say, I'd do what I had to do if I was so far in debt, but there's a fine line between jobs that are outside your field and being unemployed when someone is reviewing your resume. I'd work hard at finding another job in my field, or at least one that pays as well before I'd take a job just to have one. It's too bad that we can't hear the inflection in your voice when you made the comments about waitresses. Typing what you think can sometimes make anyone "sound" very shallow or petty. I have gobs of respect for someone who waitresses, collects trash, digs ditches, etc.... I just don't want to do it myself. I've been a hostess, waitress, and retail employee to put myself through school. I went to school to have more opportunities to select a career that I want to be in whether it is in my field of study or not. I'm not ashamed to admit that... though I'm also not "too good" to take any job that I really had to even though I'd wait a fair amount of time before jumping into something simply out of fear.

 

[caitycaity]

I think she thinks that She deserves to be paid 10.00 an hour or more, and not really have to work for it. This is how ALL young people feel these days

i totally disagree that that is how all young people feel these days.

 

[Pin Wizard]

((Jen)) I hope your new job goes well for you!

Who wanted a violin? Here you go...

At school today I was talking with another student about the things our kids say. I was saying that my 9 year old tells me it's time for me to quit school and go back to work. She mentioned that she "has never had a job in her life." It must be nice! She's 26, divorced, and has 2 little ones. I've also seen her SUV in the parking lot. Hmmm...

 

[lilboo]

If your friend was aware of the depths of your situation she was being a little inconsiderate laying out all her problems on you....what does she want--a cookie??

<img height="200" src="http://popkornjunkie.com/images/cookiemonster.jpg">

 

[aahmom1]

If your friend was aware of the depths of your situation she was being a little inconsiderate laying out all her problems on you....what does she want--a cookie??

Sometimes people just need somebody to talk to, it doesn't make her a bad person.

 

[lilboo]

I agree, it doesn't make her a bad person, just not a very good reader of how other people may be responding to her...though I don't doubt that the DOC has now made her feelings abundantly clear in IM.

 

[CookieGVB]

To some people who make less money, $5K of debt IS "up to their eyeballs." You have more debt to repay, but are more likely to earn enough to repay it at your higher salary, so you're not as concerned about it.

In this economy, a little healthy fear of debt is probably a good thing.

Maybe if you just said, "I hear ya - I have tons of debt to repay myself" you could commiserate, and not keep score on who owes more.

 

[DocRafiki]

Originally posted by Cindy B

Like I said before, there were tons of opportunities at Penn. they even have radio/print ads for employment in the vetranary field. I would have personally jumped at the chance to work at an Ivy League school, and gotten whatever education I would have liked to desire at no cost! I know I sent you the link quite a few times... a bone was thrown when you were saying "I don't have a job", not even a no thanks, or a I don't want to relocate or anything.

I'm sorry if you didn't receive a reply from me, but I do remember sending at least one. I clearly remember wondering why you sent the info a 2nd time when I already thanked you and explained why the opportunities weren't for me.

But since you didn't get them, I'll explain now. I'm a general practitioner. I only have 8 years of education. To work as a vet in a university requires that you be a PhD or a specialist (with some minor exceptions), which is more like 11-13 years of education. I'm not qualified for a state school, much less an ivy league school.

Beyond that, I have no desire to live in the northeast. My happiness is more important than my career, and I CAN find a reasonable job down here.

 

[aahmom1]

I'd rather live in Florida too.

 

[marlasmom]

Since you are not asking for advice for yourself, I find it a little over the top that people feel so free to comment on your choices.

The following is for info only - not a recommendation
but since you will be working in Orlando you MAY want to check out the town I live in (Winter Haven). 35 minutes from WDW and MUCH cheaper than Orlando.

 

[DocRafiki]

Originally posted by CookieGVB
To some people who make less money, $5K of debt IS "up to their eyeballs." You have more debt to repay, but are more likely to earn enough to repay it at your higher salary, so you're not as concerned about it.

Yep, that's pretty much my point. It's not worth freaking over.

Maybe if you just said, "I hear ya - I have tons of debt to repay myself" you could commiserate, and not keep score on who owes more.

Well that's pretty much how I've been responding for the past 2 weeks, but I finally just had to say, "Quit your crapping!"
And it's not really score-keeping on debt. I know that a smaller amt of debt is a bigger deal to her (but, hence, her living expenses should correlate with her income, but they dont). It's more an issue of ... "Well I've had to budget all my life, and now that you might have to do it, I'm supposed to join in your pity party?"

 

[DocRafiki]

Originally posted by Cindy B
My Dh has said he would do anything to help put food on the table.. Mc Donald's, being a waiter, or retail in not beneath either one of us.

You people are really reaching here!

(a) I'm having NO problem putting food on the table. That's what I said. It's not THAT bad.

(b) When did I ever say waitressing and retail were BENEATH me? Like I explained before, it mathematically doesn't make sense.
And I already wrote that I made $5.60 an hour at most at my previous jobs. Do you think those were prestigious jobs? Yes, fast food, merchandise, and 'waitressing' at Chuck E. Cheese... yeah, I'm definitely insulting waiters. When I was in college in Mississippi, I was JEALOUS of waiters for getting the "good" jobs. I was LUCKY to get a job at McDonald's, and I had to walk there at 4:30 a.m. and work 5 hours before even starting my full-time pre-med classes for the day.

So if you all (not you particularly, Cindy B) are trying to grind your "blue collar vs. professionals" axe on me, you are barking up the wrong tree.

 

[aahmom1]

Ok, I'll say it, if you didn't mean to demean waitresses and retail workers then I apologize, honestly.

 

[Disney845]

If people aren't picking on one person it is another. Why can't some people around here just grow up and get a life!

Everyone else and there brother can vent about anything they want to, from their roof leaking, to their car not starting, to their son/daughter being picked on in school. Why then can the Doc not express her annoyance at a "friend" of hers complaining to her all the time. The only question I noticed in the Doc's original post was on whether or not she should feel bad for a friend who has been complaining to her for awhile about something that DocRafiki feels could have been prevented (less clothes spending, car payments, etc...). I am sure she would have looked forward to any and all comments on this topic. What she isn't looking for (hope I am not being too presumptuous here Doc) and neither are many of the rest of us, are the underhanded comments that some people around here continually make.

I don't look down on waitresses or people who work at K-mart, but that isn't for me. I'll be willing to bet that it isn't for a heck of a lot of people either. If I was destitute and had no shelter/food would I do it? Yes, but I wouldn't be excited about it. If I could get by without doing that then all the better. The Doc has clearly put in a lot of hard work in her schooling (oh, and by the way being a student is/can be a full time job). She wants something that will make her happy and provide her with the lifestyle she wants to live in. Is that so bad? I don't think so. I would not encourage someone to get multiple credit cards and run them up so as to create a hole of debt for themselves, but as the Doc already pointed out she has close to $100,000 in school debts already, $5,000 more will not make a big difference, especially if she has a plan to get back on her feet and eventually pay it all off (as she already mentioned this new job should help take care of this in a short amount of time). The comment about the consumer debt vs. the school debt has me confused. What is the difference here? If you didn't pay either debt you could be sent to a collections agency. Also what you choose to do in school is a totally personal choice. No one made you get that debt either, you chose to. No one will argue that college is cheap, but there are a lot of things you can become in college. If you just wanted an ordinary B.A. or B.S. you could do that at any state school, finish in less than 4 years and come away with no debt if you have grants/scholarships. Getting a higher degree takes more time/money, but it will pay off in the long run when the Doc is making 4-5 times what some other professions make.

 

[aahmom1]

Let me ask you, why is it ok for you to comment on what others say, but nobody else can?