Am I Out Of Line??

[NYPrincess422]

So, I just posted this in my PJ. My BMs have tattoos, I knew this going into the wedding, and made it clear that the tats would HAVE to be covered because 1) DF is conservative...2)His family his conservative...3) My mom is conservative and although i dont have a prob with them, I dont want them in my wedding pictures.

So today Im on facebook and see that one of my BMs got another tattoo ...and I say to my MOH "I cant freakin believe this"...and my MOH laughs...so I said "Im not laughing"...then she proceeds to defend them! "They always had tats...they'll prob get another one before your wedding comes"....so Ive decided and told her "im only gonna have photographers take pics of me and DF"...and she still defends them!

Am I wrong?

 

[ColeV]

Purchase some tattoo cover-up theatrical make up just in case something shows that day. A quick and easy fix that will allow you to not worry. Just let them know that's the case so there's no argument about it on the day. They should be more considerate, but the best thing for you is just to let it go, not worry, and have that back-up available!

 

[Nikisha421]

IMHO...its' your party....you should do exactly what you want to!

 

[DisneyFirefly]

Not a bride, but in my opinion, you only have the right to demand that they cover any tattoos on the day. I don't think you have the right to demand they not get anything else done before the wedding. What you could do is require that they buy the Dermablend or theater makeup to cover it. Their choice, their tattoo, their expense. It'll save you some money. But I don't think you can tell them not to get any more tattoos before your wedding. If it's that big a deal to you that you won't include them in photos, then maybe you should ask them to step down as bridesmaids? Just my opinion, and I know it doesn't really count since I'm not a bride.

Just an FYI, if your bridesmaids do the makeup route, have them try it beforehand so that they get used to applying it properly. I did it on the one on my leg while working at WDW and it never worked properly (fair skin + purple/red/pink/green rose), so I wound up wearing pants the whole summer.

 

[pixie921]

Not a bride, but in my opinion, you only have the right to demand that they cover any tattoos on the day. I don't think you have the right to demand they not get anything else done before the wedding. What you could do is require that they buy the Dermablend or theater makeup to cover it. Their choice, their tattoo, their expense. It'll save you some money. But I don't think you can tell them not to get any more tattoos before your wedding. If it's that big a deal to you that you won't include them in photos, then maybe you should ask them to step down as bridesmaids? Just my opinion, and I know it doesn't really count since I'm not a bride.

Just an FYI, if your bridesmaids do the makeup route, have them try it beforehand so that they get used to applying it properly. I did it on the one on my leg while working at WDW and it never worked properly (fair skin + purple/red/pink/green rose), so I wound up wearing pants the whole summer.

ITA. You really can't demand that they not get tattoos, just as you couldn't/shouldn't demand that one not cut her hair because you wanted all bridesmaids with updos. Do you want them in your wedding because they're your best friends, or because they'll look good in photos? I'm not trying to be mean; it's just that even though it's *your* special day, try not to get caught up in the little things and frustrate yourself about things you really can't change. And if you threaten to exclude them from photos, they may just bail on the whole wedding.

The Dermablend should do the job. My best friend used it on a huge back tat she has for her wedding and you couldn't even tell it was there.

 

[NYPrincess422]

I asked the girls to be in the bridal party because they are my best friends, but, i think its a little rude when you know your going to be in someone's wedding and get all tatted up, cut your hair crazy, dye it a crazy color, etc. Im not paying all of this money to look back and see them with full arm tattoos. What happened to being some what considerate of the bride?

 

[DisneyFirefly]

What happened to being some what considerate of the bride?

In my opinion, you need to be considerate of them, too. You already said that you knew they had tattoos before you even asked them. They were apparently aware that the tattoos would have to be covered. Maybe I'm just seeing it from the perspective of someone who may eventually be a tattooed bride with a tattooed bridal party, but I honestly think that as long as they're willing to cover it on the day, it should be fine.

 

[NYPrincess422]

Well, thats why it might be hard for you to see my view, because you have tattoos. If people arent into that, they dont want to see that. My whole thing is, yes I knew that had them before, they had asked me how I felt about it. And I told them, its not my thing, its gonna be a conservative crowd, please tone it down. So, just like I agreed to cover up the existing, they agreed to tone it down.

But its cool, because now they'll just have to cover it up or wear shawls and panty hose.

 

[DisneyFirefly]

I just want to reiterate that I do agree that you can tell them to cover it up on the day I was my best friend's MOH and I would've covered my tattoos if she'd asked me, but she didn't. So, I do understand, believe me. Tattoos can always be covered, after all, even if it takes a little work.

But yeah, if they do the makeup route, have them do it a few times before the day. Maybe I just sucked at it, but I couldn't get the makeup right on my leg tattoo.

 

[pixie921]

I asked the girls to be in the bridal party because they are my best friends, but, i think its a little rude when you know your going to be in someone's wedding and get all tatted up, cut your hair crazy, dye it a crazy color, etc. Im not paying all of this money to look back and see them with full arm tattoos. What happened to being some what considerate of the bride?

I understand what you're saying, but again, if they already know they have to cover their tattoos, then why does it matter how many they have? And I say this as a conservative person; someone with NO tattoos, with no desire to get any tattoos, and with friends both tattooed and not. So there's no influence on me there.

I also have the perspective of someone married 18 years whose maid of honor spilled perfume down the front of her dress right before the ceremony and ended up looking like a deer-in-headlights in ALL of the photos because she was so stressed out about her massively stained dress. And nope, that doesn't look good in the photos either, LOL! I was bummed, but what could we do?

And look at it this way -- even if they don't manage to get everything completely covered, photographers have lots of photo editing software at their disposal. Tattoos are easy-peasy to remove digitally.

Try not to worry about it and just enjoy your day with your best friends!

 

[helloirishkitty]

I would be upset as well. I don't think you are out of line. If any of my friends had tattoos, they would be warned that they would have to be covered up. I have two tattoos and I was VERY careful about where they were placed when I got them because I didn't want them to show on my wedding day.

If they're going to be covered up anyways, I don't see what the big deal is because tattoos can be covered. At least they didn't dye their hair pink.. that's not quite such an easy fix!

 

[aristocatz]

Can your photographer just airbrush out tattoos as well?

 

[spacerangerqueen]

My MOH has several tattoos. I never even thought about them before the wedding. I have zero tattoos and doubt I will ever get one. As it turns out one of my favorite sets of photos from the wedding is a shot from behind my MOH where one has her blurry with me and my DH in focus at the altar and then the other is her in focus showcasing her tinkerbell tattoo on her shoulder and us blurry in the background. My mother who is pretty conservative even commented how she loved those pics and got them printed. My MOH even got her nose pierced before the wedding. She didn't 'consult' me beforehand and I didn't bother to ask her to take it out. I guess I just don't see the point of having my best friends in my wedding if they don't LOOK like my best friends. But as others have said, it's an easy cover-up. Take a deep breathe and remember that in the end these small details won't matter.

 

[Boston Disney Bride]

I honestly think you should let go of this small detail. This is something that is out of your control. What benefit do you get from being angry and frustrated with your BM's? This is just going to cause a rift between you guys. I completlely understand being frustrated by someone in your wedding party...but now that I am a month away from my wedding there are so many BIGGER issues that need my attention and those small minor flubs fall into the background. Most of the beautiful pictures will be with just you and DF anyways, so try not to worry about it...I know it seems hard now, but I promise as your date approaches you will realize what I'm saying.

 

[girli565]

I agree with Boston Disney Bride, let it go... this will make you CRAZY if you keep dweilling on it.

They're your friends, you love them and appreciate them, that's why you asked them to be in your wedding... just take them as they come, tattoos and all Let it go for your sanity.

 

[Ember]

I'm sorry, you are out of line. You have no right, at all, to dictate to someone else what is and isn't acceptable for them to do with their body. Your friends can pierce, tattoo, dye, or modify their bodies any way they see fit. You can request that they refrain from body modifications prior to your wedding, and you can request that they do their best to hide their modifications on the day of your wedding. You can even go so far as to say that if they won't hide their modifications, they can't be a part of your wedding. But you can not tell them what is and isn't acceptable for their own bodies. Being the bride does not give you that right.

Now, your friends all sound like they are aware that you have an expectation of them to cover their tattoos. You were up front about this when you asked them to be in your bridal party (at least, I think I'm interpreting that right). So they are well aware of the requirements of being your attendants. Beyond that, it's really none of your business.

Again, I am sorry because I don't think you're going to like my take on this. But the whole "What happened to being considerate of the bride?" comment rubbed me the wrong way. Being considerate is not the same as altering their lives to suit you and your wedding. Being considerate is taking your view into account and taking appropriate steps on your wedding day which they've already agreed to do. I don't see a problem here.

 

[NYPrincess422]

They can tat their body up all they want, but in the end, we are paying for this wedding. So it is our decision whether we want a bunch of photos of that or not.

Like I said, they will either cover it with make up or wear a shawl.

 

[Brit_Jude]

They can tat their body up all they want, but in the end, we are paying for this wedding. So it is our decision whether we want a bunch of photos of that or not.

Like I said, they will either cover it with make up or wear a shawl.

Could they not get matching shrugs or jackets that would go with their dresses? I have seen some bridesmaid dresses that have these as matching items. That would work for arms and shoulders. Not sure where the tatoos are. I would even pay for them if it will make the day better for you and your DF.

 

[LaurenLC]

You asked them to be in your wedding, right? You asked them to be in your wedding knowing that they already had tattoos, right? Chances are you were going to ask that they cover their existing tattoos already, so what's the problem with one more?
Your wedding is one of the most important days of your life, but it's not necessarily one of theirs. You can't expect people to change how they live their life for one day. If you want people to be considerate of you and your feelings, then you need to be considerate of theirs.
It's reasonable to be upset, but don't let their choices ruin your wedding planning... It's nothing that can't be fixed.

 

[teddygurl28]

while i understand your point clearly about everyone being conservative and thus requiring the girls to cover up their tattoos on the day of....i think its extremely unfair for you to have an issue with them choosing to get another tattoo (which they have already been aware they will need to cover up) and restricting photos to yourself and df.

You are loosing out by not having photos with your bridesmaids....haven't you chosen these girls to be a part of your wedding because of what they mean in your life? You may regret looking back and not having them beside you in photos.

Tattoos are a touchy subject for many brides/families.
TO show you where im coming from, i have 5 tattoos (only 1 is visible in my dress) and my family expects me to cover it up bc they are ultra conservative...and im not sure how DF family feels-but i have that tattoo as a representation of myself, so don't expect make up to go on it.
almost every single girl has a tattoo in my WP, one of them has a very visble one on her shoulder, she asked if i would like it covered, but i laughed and said i wanted her in the wedding because she is my best friend, not because of her flower tattoo.

Please remember, i agree you have the right to ask them to cover their tattoos for the day of, but i don't see how you have any right to not allow them to get another tattoo, piercing, haircut (as others have mentioned) prior to the wedding. These girls arent meant to be the stepford wives, they are their own person and should be able to express as much

this is a small bump in your planning, please don't over stress or say/do something you may regret down the line...