Am I Out Of Line??

[kmaclou]

My MOH has a tattoo that will be very visible the day of the wedding. You know what? That's fine! She's had it for years, it represents her and quite honestly, I couldn't care less. I didn't even think about it until your post. What is important is that my dearest, closest friend will be by my side the day of the wedding and I don't care if she shaves her head, does weird makeup or anything else.

It's so easy to get stressed out wedding planning and trying to get everything to be perfect, but just keep in mind that what will be remembered is not that your BMs had tattoos (because those can be covered and photoshopped) but how you treated everyone leading up to the wedding.

 

[LuluLovesDisney]

To be honest, I think I would have to know where the tattoo was for me to have a strong opinion. For example, if a bm knew I didn't want to see the tattoos and have a huge one on her neck done, the week before the wedding, I would think why didn't she wait till after? Is there pent up aggression?

However, one of my BM's had tattoos and she wanted me to make sure they were covered. I didn't care, they are on her wrist (like a bracelet) and her back, none of them bothered me. Again if it were a huge neck one, I would have def been more paranoid abt covering it up. In the end, she chose to use the tattoo cover up makeup and I don't think it worked that well. It covered for abt an hour and then the colors started to show through like a grayish tone. I was actually more worried abt getting the makeup on my white dress when hugging her lol.

You have a right to ask her to cover it up but only you know the situation and if there is any backstory that would make this go any deeper, you know?
If a BM does something that bothers you enough, you can always ask her to step down, but that will forever alter your relationship. I wouldn't risk it over one little tattoo, but a dragon across the forehead would probably make me change my mind!

 

[brer rabbit 28]

Wow. i can see how your attitude at the moment could blow this out of proportion and possibly ruin friendships which are way more important than one day.

I completely understand that you want everything to be perfect but these are your friends. People that you have asked to share your day. How would it feel if they weren't there because of this? I imagine it would really cast a cloud over the whole event.

I'm sorry that you have probably not received the responses you expected with this thread. I do hope that you can take some friendly advice and put this into somer perspective. One more tattoo to cover is really no big deal in the grand scheme of things.

 

[angel81uk]

A good make up artist will be able to do a fantastic cover up job (I know it's something I was trained to do). Just make sure they don't just use a skin tone make up by itself or the tattoos will soon show through. A good cover up job will need multiple layers of carefully applied colours (orange to cover up the black outlines, green to cover up any red etc) but if it's done properly the result will be invisible and last for many hours (it wouldn't hurt for your bridesmaid to re set it with a bit of powder every now and then though just to make sure).

The only problem is it can be time consuming to do a good tattoo cover which means it will add to the cost. It's unlikely to cost as much as buying matching shawls/shrugs for the three of them though not to mention less stressful than having to go out and find them!

 

[NYPrincess422]

Guess what, everyone has their own opinion, and thats how it should be. I dont think everyone will agree with me here, but, since this is my wedding, my opinion matters. Its cool that everyone disagrees with me, I dont get offended by that.

My whole point is that Ive been to weddings and seen where girls try to cover it up and it looks trashy. Some of you have stated, it doesnt work. Some of you have offered other solutions, which I SO appreciate and will look into. I want them in the pictures, not their tattoos. I get the whole "exact them for who they are blah blah"...that sounds great, but all of the tats are big, in obvious places that will be in pictures, and I dont want to look back 20 years from now and see that. None of us are into it. The whole situation was at first they didnt want to cover it. My MOH was the one to lay the smack down and say they had to. When I showed DF the pictures of them in the dress, all he could say was, "cute dress, what about those tattoos though?"....so as long as they can cover it up any kind of way, im cool with it.

Anyway, thanks to those for the suggestions of cover ups, etc, i'm gonna pass those ideas along to them.

 

[Keira1387]

I don't feel your out of line on this. When your a bridesmaid there are certain things you don't do as a PP said. Things like cutting, and dyeing your hair crazy colors before the wedding. I think getting visable tattoos falls into that too. I would just get the tattoo coverup and move on.

 

[Bride-to-be]

Jocelyn I am completely on your side. I would be LIVID, just beyond furious.

I don't know where the tatoos are but I like Judi's idea of getting wraps or something to cover them. Even if you have them put make up on it would be even better if you could cover them with fabric of some sort.

Did you ever see the episode of my fair wedding where the bride was covered in tatoos and david tutera flipped on her?

I am not sure if anyone else mentioned this - but if all else fails you could always have the tatoos photoshopped out of the pictures - I don't think it would be that hard or expensive.

 

[crystalllize]

I'm completely, 100% on your side as well!

I have 4 tattoos (none visible in my dress) and before getting each one, I made sure that it would be in a discreet place that wouldn't show in my wedding gown or any bridesmaid's dresses. I would be absolutely furious if one of my girls got a visible tattoo before my wedding.

2 of my 4 girls have tattoos and it's not an issue for me, because they're very discreet. I would insist on makeup or a cover-up and I don't think it's rude to say that. It's your wedding and if you don't want tattoos in your photos, you shouldn't have to have them!

JMHO!

 

[Pooh's Corner]

I agree with you for sure. My MOH doesn't have any tatoos, but my DF's "bestwoman" has one on her upper neck and lower back. So I have to either find a dress to cover it up or maybe add a sweater (since it will be Feb I will probably go with the sweater)!!

Just remind them that you don't want them showing, and if you don't get a wrap or something that makeup will have to be used. They should understand and be happy to make you happy!

 

[aduck126]

its simple, you knew they had tattoos before you asked them to be in the wedding, now you are freaking out about it. i dont get why all of a sudden its a huge deal.

am i the only one that thinks she is freaking out for no reason? its not like they have to consult with you about their every physical change that they make.

 

[raysnkaysmom]

I asked the girls to be in the bridal party because they are my best friends, but, i think its a little rude when you know your going to be in someone's wedding and get all tatted up, cut your hair crazy, dye it a crazy color, etc. Im not paying all of this money to look back and see them with full arm tattoos. What happened to being some what considerate of the bride?

My thoughts...they are your best friends, regardless of their appearance. You love them for who they are, even if you don't care for how they look.
I totally agree they should cover up their tats if you asked them too, and hopefully they will...but I don't think you have a right to tell them to hold off on getting more..... Really, is it worth taking them out of your wedding or losing a friendship over?

 

[JoShan1719]

Mmm I think you're crazy out of line. First off, I think it was rude of you to demand that they cover the tats, but that's your choice. But now to throw a fit because one of your friends got a new tatoo is silly. They're covering them anyway, let it go.

 

[brer rabbit 28]

its simple, you knew they had tattoos before you asked them to be in the wedding, now you are freaking out about it. i dont get why all of a sudden its a huge deal.

am i the only one that thinks she is freaking out for no reason? its not like they have to consult with you about their every physical change that they make.

 

[PrincessShea]

I think you are making a mountain out of a molehill.

Unless we are talking about a row of swastikas above her clavicle, I fail to see the issue, and I think you will regret possibly destroying a friendship over this.

 

[sambycat]

I think you are making a mountain out of a molehill.

Unless we are talking about a row of swastikas above her clavicle, I fail to see the issue, and I think you will regret possibly destroying a friendship over this.

is that bombshell mcgee woman your bridesmaid??!! EEEEEKKK!!!

ok that just struck me funny is all. carry on.....

 

[raysnkaysmom]

I posted my thoughts previously...but also got to thinking... that if I got my friends to cover up who they were....I'd personally regret it later...
Yes, it's your wedding, and you should get what you want, and be happy they are accomodating, but, really, is the one day of a ceremony worth more than your marriage journey, and your friendships? It's just pictures....

 

[MrsStobart2b]

I'm usually a lurker on this site.. but felt I had to respond.

If I was one of your 'best friends' I would be deeply offended right now and would be re-evaluating our friendship. Their tat's obv. don't bother you on a day to day basis or you wouldn't be their friend?!

In 20 years time when you've grown up a little, are you going to look back at your photos and think 'wow I'm glad I can't see their tatoos' or are you going to look back and think 'wow what a great day/ we had so much fun/ look how young and pretty we all look in our dresses'

Perhaps you should have bought sleeved dresses for them in the first place, or shrugs if it really that big of an issue.

Seriously, take a step back and look at this rationally, and how your acting. You could be doing untold damage to great friendships. Stop acting like a spoilt bridezilla.

We all want perfect days..... but isn't the day just the prelude to the rest of our lives? It's just a day!

 

[GirTheGecko]

I think you're possibly ruining a friendship.

When I was a bridesmaid for my brother's wedding (that was canceled), when I saw the dress, I talked to the bride and reminded her that there would be a tattoo showing. She was fine with it since she knew how much the tattoo meant to and fit me. But she said I would be posed in photos to hide it.

For my wedding, I don't care if they show, since these are my dear friends, and the tattoos are a part of them. I want them to come and truly enjoy my wedding. I don't want any hard feelings either. I can't ever see flipping out like that over something so small. Even with my conservative family. I'm also really bothered by a bad makeup cover up of a tattoo.

 

[NYPrincess422]

I love all of the passionate responses. As I stated, they have finally agreed to the make-up cover. Solved. My MOH tried a solution (she works for a chemical plant) on one of the girls, and it literally erased the tat.

Just as a side comment, some of you say "except them for who they are" blah blah blah, its not like they were born with these tattoos. They did this to themselves. And just because they are into the tattoos, doesnt mean that I have to be, or that I have to see that in the pictures. Again, we're a conservative bunch, we're not into it. Plain and simple.

I love them but I dont have to love the tattoos.

 

[anotherdisneygal]

I'm VERY conservative. I would never get a tattoo. My husband would never get a tattoo. My parents and in-laws wouldn't either, but two of my closest girlfriends have a bunch. When I got married (not that long ago), I didn't care. That's who they are and if they were willing to stand up for me, that was all that mattered to me.

Also, IMO I'd rather stay friends with the girls that I was close enough to ask to be in my wedding than worry about whether or not they got more tattoos or dyed their hair purple. And as for argument about wedding photos - I like that my closest girlfriends look like my closest girlfriends when I look back at my pictures (which is not as frequent as you think it's going to be when you are planning the wedding).

Try to remember that planning a wedding is stressful, you don't need to add stress to yourself by micro-managing everyone. I'm sure you'll have a wonderful day, but it's just one day, if you want your friends to stay your friends, try to keep that in the back of your mind.