Am I old fashioned?

[joolz1910]

Not old fashioned at all, if you're from another era then so I am
You did exactly as I would have done (might not have brought her home at all TBH).

Playdates at the age that my children are (5 & 7), regardless if we are giving or recieving are planned with parents a little in advance around childrens after school activites. No way do I let my children make these arrangements themselves. Our school would never let a child go home with another parent anyway.

I'm going to go out on limb here and possibly get a bit flamed but me and my (stay at home mum) friends do feel that we are quite often taken advantage of by full time working parents who rely on us to fetch,collect, and have playdates with their children and they never offer back. I don't see it as "quit pro quo" but I think to offer occasionally would be a nice gesture. We'd like a second income but I don't have family locally and would never rely on other parents so I could go and earn a high wage.
We had a couple that used to live on our st and our children went to school together and the Mum would often turn up on the door during school holidays saying that they would love to come over and play! One day I said yes and her girls we in a terrible mood. To cut a long story short I ended up spending so much time with the children, I didn't get time to cook my dinner, ended up taking my kids to mcdonalds for tea and when I walked them to their front door I could see him cooking a lovely meal and she had been to the Gym!!!! Never again, I told myself.....

Lol. I don't think it's just working mums who do this. I am a teacher and have had friends do this to me during school holidays because they know I'm at home. It's a cheek!

I've got a new scenario for everyone - my DD (11) has been invited to a party which is a 70 mile round trip. That is not a typo and there is no food provided, just drinks. Would you go? I've said no btw.

 

[Zeebs]

Lol. I don't think it's just working mums who do this. I am a teacher and have had friends do this to me during school holidays because they know I'm at home. It's a cheek!

I've got a new scenario for everyone - my DD (11) has been invited to a party which is a 70 mile round trip. That is not a typo and there is no food provided, just drinks. Would you go? I've said no btw.

What sort of party involves a 70 mile round trip.

I don't think you are old fashioned in fact I think you/I are in the modern world, I remember as a kid having a whole lot more freedom than we have now. I was riding my bike to school at 6 on my own.

Cullen is nearly 5 so we haven't had this whole play date thing, anything he has been too has included a parent. I am not sure how I will handle it when they get older.

Kirsten

 

[joolz1910]

What sort of party involves a 70 mile round trip.

I don't think you are old fashioned in fact I think you/I are in the modern world, I remember as a kid having a whole lot more freedom than we have now. I was riding my bike to school at 6 on my own.

Cullen is nearly 5 so we haven't had this whole play date thing, anything he has been too has included a parent. I am not sure how I will handle it when they get older.

Kirsten

The party is Laser Quest. There is one closer but the parents explained that this venue wasn't good enough.

I had much more freedom as a kid. I think it's a shame in many ways that our children are so closely supervised. I was a child in the 70's, so we usually hopped on our choppers, and headed down the rec for the whole day, flares flapping in the wind....

 

[Ware Bears]

I've got a new scenario for everyone - my DD (11) has been invited to a party which is a 70 mile round trip. That is not a typo and there is no food provided, just drinks. Would you go? I've said no btw.

I'd say no too.

 

[saraheeyore]

Lol. I don't think it's just working mums who do this. I am a teacher and have had friends do this to me during school holidays because they know I'm at home. It's a cheek!

I've got a new scenario for everyone - my DD (11) has been invited to a party which is a 70 mile round trip. That is not a typo and there is no food provided, just drinks. Would you go? I've said no btw.

definitly no on that one thats insane for a kids party and what sort of party does not provide food. maybe they should have picked somewhere more local and be able to afford to feed them. I'm sure 11 year olds would be just as happy with the cinema and fast food or bowling

 

[Chilly]

70 mile trip for laser quest only - MADNESS

 

[scottish mum]

I've got a new scenario for everyone - my DD (11) has been invited to a party which is a 70 mile round trip. That is not a typo and there is no food provided, just drinks. Would you go? I've said no btw.

For us a 70 mile round trip for a birthday party is quite normal, the nearest big town is 40 miles away. However it usually involves food for the kids attending and quite often they get transported by the birthday childs parents. If we have to take them then we spend the time doing shopping so that its not a wasted trip.

For you however if there are plenty of local places they could have gone to I would be inclined to say no. I don't think my kids have ever been invited to a party that didn't give out food

 

[2Tiggies]

Cullen is nearly 5 so we haven't had this whole play date thing, anything he has been too has included a parent. I am not sure how I will handle it when they get older.

Kirsten

Take it from someone who got it wrong. I am a single parent and I work. MyDD is turning 9 and I still walk her to school 5 minutes away. Partly, I admit, because we dont have much time together during the week, but also because I have always done it. Because I am not home in the week to host a play day after school, it doesn't happen. The down side is that she is probably not as independent as she should be for her age. All I am saying is the longer you put it off, the harder it gets to let them go.

 

[MazdaUK]

Playdates for primary kids always end by 6.30 - I've had enough by then DS(11) is in yr 6 and currently we walk with him because he enjoys the one-to-one chat time, although quite a few kids in his year walk on their own. By the summer he'll be walking on his own, but for the moment (especially when its rainy and we need a brolly) its nice to have the company.

I always talk to the mum or dad when arranging a play date, and make sure the child is taken home - so i try to have them when DH is home to deal as he takes the car to work. and I always make sure I have a mobile number in case of accident - its not old-fashioned, its sensible. Suppose there was an accident, how could you let them know?

DS(17) of course is different - he organises his own play dates

70miles for a party - no WAY!

 

[joolz1910]

I think kids tell you when they are ready to go solo. My DD wanted to walk to school on her own. I was the reluctant one.

Reading your replies, I think all the Dis kids should play together. We all seem to approach things in a similar way. Who wants my lot next week?

 

[KemlynUltra]

Originally Posted by joolz1910 View Post
So, am I old fashioned? Do I need to chill out?


no, not old fashioned at all, some parents are too busy watching tv and 'getting peace' rather than truly contemplate the dangers out there..... i've noticed with friends of my own 8 kids other parents taking their safety for granted ...... they only have to be in the wrong place at the wrong time for disaster to strike