Am I Being Unreasonable

[tink_n_pooh]

My first thought is you're not getting paid enough money.

My second thought is that I would not expect to be paid if you didn't provide the service unless it is spelled out in some kind of contract.

My thoughts exactly

 

[cornflake]

I have not read all of this thread......

There is simply no way that the Mother should have "been thrown" by the cancellation!!!!! I think if you decide to use in home day care as opposed to a day care center, then common sense tells you that there will come a day that the babysitter will get sick or something will come up causing a cancellation. Certainly not a common occurance, but it is going to happen at some point. That is why the one who needs to have a back up plan is the Mother NOT the babysitter. If I used a babysitter there is NO WAY I would expect them to come up with a back up plan for me, that is my job! There should have been no annoyance on the part of the Mother, its a risk she took by hiring an at home sitter.......people get sick, its unavoidable.

It's not a random babysitter though, who you'd like, call on a sporadic basis, this is supposed to be a daily thing. Either it's a business or it's not.

I didn't say she should have had an entire backup plan in place, I get she's just got the single client, wasn't charging much, etc., but I can see where the woman was coming from because it's more than a babysitter. She's relying on it five days a week so she can get to work.

 

[bearloch]

Im Sorry every parent should have a back up plan becase LIFE happens people get sick, hurt, emergencys happen..

 

[Suz D]

The only thing I have to contribute to this discussion that hasn't been mentioned before is:

If you are going to ask for paid sick time you need to specify how much time you should get (I think earlier you or a PP mentioned 5 days-that needs to be in the contract when you draw up a new one- which you definately should).

I would never sign a contract that said "paid sick days". What is to prevent the child care provider from taking a day or two off every month as "sick time"? Not saying you would do that OP, but just that I would be concerned about that if I was starting with a child care provider for the first time.

You've received good and consistent advice about having a lawyer help you draw up a contract. I'm appreciative of the fact that you are offering reasonable rates due to the economic climate, but the wording of your contract doesn't sound professional, nor is it specific enough.

With all that said, I'm glad you are free from having to care for this child (and the child's mother).

 

[fortwildernessishome]

It's not a random babysitter though, who you'd like, call on a sporadic basis, this is supposed to be a daily thing. Either it's a business or it's not.

I didn't say she should have had an entire backup plan in place, I get she's just got the single client, wasn't charging much, etc., but I can see where the woman was coming from because it's more than a babysitter. She's relying on it five days a week so she can get to work.

I dont think my response implied that I felt that she was a "random babysitter". I understand that she was a daily babysitter.

Even so, like I said before when you hire one woman to be your in home babysitter for your child, common sense has to tell you that at some point she will be too ill to care for your child. Like I said before, not an everyday occurance by any means, but at some point it will happen.

Its a risk you take by hiring that type of service as opposed to a day care center, where lots of people work and one or two people being out sick will not close down the place.

Many, many years ago, I did in home babysitting. I did it for three years straight. In that three years. I was too sick two different times to babysit that day. I called the familys that morning to let them know. They scrambled to make changes to their day.

No one was mad or upset. They knew when they hired me that at some point I would get sick, just like the rest of the population, and be unable to work. Again.just common sense.

So while I was not a "random babysitter" and took care of kids "daily" I did get sick. It happens. Its common sense. Like I said before when you are hiring a one woman show for in home day care you have to know this can happen. If you choose this for your child then you must have alternative plans in place. You cannot be surprised, mad or feel you cant "rely" on someone because they get sick. If you feel like this would truly "throw you" then by all means do not hire an at home sitter!

Note: by "you" I mean the general you, no one specific!

 

[MSLRAC]

]In regards to the overall pay issue, $75 for 20 hours may or may not be the average in your area, even for a special needs child. [/B]In my experience, daycare/babysitting rates vary widely depending on the part of the country you're in. For example, I pay $145 a week for my toddler's full-time daycare (50-52 hours per week), but in NYC, etc it would be at least double that.

No, I don't think you should expect to be paid for that day. It was your decision to tell the mother that she couldn't bring her child, and she likely had to pay another person to watch him.

I agree with the part in bold. We pay $220 a week for our two youngest to go to a 5 star preschool/pre-k program, 5 days per week from 8-5. DS also has Autism and as such does require a bit more attention than some of the other kids but there is no additional charge for him. So in our area, $75 a week for before/after school care, even for an Autistic child, is way too much money.

Also, we pay no matter what. If one or both kids miss all week, we still have to pay. If the center is closed for a a holiday or whatever, we pay. But, we have a signed contract with the center and we knew this going in. There are some centers in our area that offer 5 sick and 5 vacation days a year for a child that has been enrolled for over a year but for various reasons, we opted against them.

 

[Pigeon]

I've used in home daycare. I agree that you need some type of agreement for your clients.

I do not think you should get paid if you are unavailable. The "backup plan" that clients are supposed to have would be nice, but for folks without family or friends willing to help out may not be terribly realistic. I never was able to find one and I looked.

I don't know rates in your area but where I live, she'd never be able to find someone to do what you are doing for that price. If you find this woman difficult to deal with, look into finding other clients and tell her you are done.

 

[woodkins]

I agree with the part in bold. We pay $220 a week for our two youngest to go to a 5 star preschool/pre-k program, 5 days per week from 8-5. DS also has Autism and as such does require a bit more attention than some of the other kids but there is no additional charge for him. So in our area, $75 a week for before/after school care, even for an Autistic child, is way too much money.

Also, we pay no matter what. If one or both kids miss all week, we still have to pay. If the center is closed for a a holiday or whatever, we pay. But, we have a signed contract with the center and we knew this going in. There are some centers in our area that offer 5 sick and 5 vacation days a year for a child that has been enrolled for over a year but for various reasons, we opted against them.

She is getting paid less than $4 per hour not including the amount of money she pays for the gas to transport to and from school. You cannot conpare the cost of before/after school care to that of a school/daycare full day environment. For a regular hs babysitter I pay $10 per hour ($8-10 is the going rate).

 

[squirrel]

I agree with the part in bold. We pay $220 a week for our two youngest to go to a 5 star preschool/pre-k program, 5 days per week from 8-5. DS also has Autism and as such does require a bit more attention than some of the other kids but there is no additional charge for him. So in our area, $75 a week for before/after school care, even for an Autistic child, is way too much money.

Also, we pay no matter what. If one or both kids miss all week, we still have to pay. If the center is closed for a a holiday or whatever, we pay. But, we have a signed contract with the center and we knew this going in. There are some centers in our area that offer 5 sick and 5 vacation days a year for a child that has been enrolled for over a year but for various reasons, we opted against them.

Up here before and afterschool care is not half of what a full day care would be, it's more. Before and after daycare is harder to find as most that are doing it would prefer to do a whole day of care and get paid more. They can't do another job in between the school day and with all the school scheduling there are often days where pick ups are earlier for meetings with parents or professional days where there isn't any school.

You haven't even factored in the time and gas spent going to and from the school.

The OP never mentioned if the child she was looking after also attended the same school as one or more of her children. If she already was going to the school for her own child(ren) then she would already be spending gas money.

 

[Missy29]

My first thought is you're not getting paid enough money.

My second thought is that I would not expect to be paid if you didn't provide the service unless it is spelled out in some kind of contract.

I agree also,you are getting paid $3.75 per hour, that's just crazy. I think it's time to give yourself a raise.

 

[mjkacmom]

She is getting paid less than $4 per hour not including the amount of money she pays for the gas to transport to and from school. You cannot conpare the cost of before/after school care to that of a school/daycare full day environment. For a regular hs babysitter I pay $10 per hour ($8-10 is the going rate).

The rate here is about $4 per hour if the sitting happens at the sitter's home (where there are usually other children), and $10 - $12 if the sitter comes to the child's home.

 

[bpesch]

I wonder how long it's going to be before the "fired" client is trying to come back. If she's that way and having that many issues, it's not likely she's going to find a reliable babysitter for what she paid you. I foresee a little groveling in the future from this woman.

 

[MSLRAC]

She is getting paid less than $4 per hour not including the amount of money she pays for the gas to transport to and from school. You cannot conpare the cost of before/after school care to that of a school/daycare full day environment. For a regular hs babysitter I pay $10 per hour ($8-10 is the going rate).

Up here before and afterschool care is not half of what a full day care would be, it's more. Before and after daycare is harder to find as most that are doing it would prefer to do a whole day of care and get paid more. They can't do another job in between the school day and with all the school scheduling there are often days where pick ups are earlier for meetings with parents or professional days where there isn't any school.

You haven't even factored in the time and gas spent going to and from the school.

The OP never mentioned if the child she was looking after also attended the same school as one or more of her children. If she already was going to the school for her own child(ren) then she would already be spending gas money.

Again, it depends on where you live...

Here we can hire a CPR certified high school aged sitter for $10 an hour for all 3 kids. And most of the preschool centers around here offer before and after school care for school aged students with bus service. We looked into it for our oldest and it was only going to be an extra $40 a week and that included breakfast, an after school snack and supervised homework time with help if needed.

So depending on where the OP lives, there could be other options out there for this family that do cost the same amount or even less.

I am not knocking the OP because like I said, my DS has Autism and we truly value his care and those providing it but, not knowing where she lives or the going rates in her area, I don't feel as if one can really judge whether or not she is underpaid.

But that said, I think the mother is truly doing her son a disservice by not being upfront about his Autism and needs. And given some of the OP's statements about the boy's behavior, I think the mother was taking advantage of her.

 

[peanutsmommy10]

Up here before and afterschool care is not half of what a full day care would be, it's more. Before and after daycare is harder to find as most that are doing it would prefer to do a whole day of care and get paid more. They can't do another job in between the school day and with all the school scheduling there are often days where pick ups are earlier for meetings with parents or professional days where there isn't any school.

You haven't even factored in the time and gas spent going to and from the school.

The OP never mentioned if the child she was looking after also attended the same school as one or more of her children. If she already was going to the school for her own child(ren) then she would already be spending gas money.[/QUOTE

My kids go to a different school. They are bused. I drive(well drove) this chid to and from school daily and yes I never factored in gas and time. I admit that was my fault though. Her son has done a lot to my house, my kids toys, stepped on my baby's head and more. Every time I've ever said anything to his mother she just laughs it off like it's no big deal. Dare she try and come back, especially after the cps issue I may or may not be dealing with, she won't find me welcoming her. I refuse to watch her child ever again. I feel she took great advantage of me. I don't care, as I've said, about the sick day and pay. I'm over that. I think that was the straw that broke the camels back for me. It just got overwhelming. And now she turns around and blames me for being unlicensed and watching him for too many hours a week. That's her fault. She set the hours. Not me. She also knew I was unlicensed. I was up front.

 

[Maddies Mama]

My kids go to a different school. They are bused. I drive(well drove) this chid to and from school daily and yes I never factored in gas and time. I admit that was my fault though. Her son has done a lot to my house, my kids toys, stepped on my baby's head and more. Every time I've ever said anything to his mother she just laughs it off like it's no big deal. Dare she try and come back, especially after the cps issue I may or may not be dealing with, she won't find me welcoming her. I refuse to watch her child ever again. I feel she took great advantage of me. I don't care, as I've said, about the sick day and pay. I'm over that. I think that was the straw that broke the camels back for me. It just got overwhelming. And now she turns around and blames me for being unlicensed and watching him for too many hours a week. That's her fault. She set the hours. Not me. She also knew I was unlicensed. I was up front.

I am maybe confused at what you are trying to say here? Wouldn't you mutually agree to the hours of care? I don't think anyone would just blindly agree to care for someone's child without knowing the details like the hours or time of day that it entails.

 

[dr&momto2boys]

My first thought is you're not getting paid enough money.

My second thought is that I would not expect to be paid if you didn't provide the service unless it is spelled out in some kind of contract.

Exactly. You should take this as an opportunity to "renegotiate" and come up with a written and signed contract.
$75 for 20 hours...increase the rate OR at least negotiate sick days.
You do realize your sick days will cost her money, right?

 

[peanutsmommy10]

I am maybe confused at what you are trying to say here? Wouldn't you mutually agree to the hours of care? I don't think anyone would just blindly agree to care for someone's child without knowing the details like the hours or time of day that it entails.

yes we did mutually agree to hours but she tried throwing in my face the other day how unlicensed daycares can only watch children like 12 hrs per week. NOT true. So she said if I was doing 20, which I was, that it was between her and me and no one need know, kinda like she was breaking rules but it was ok cuz she agreed. Real backwards

 

[OceanAnnie]

yes we did mutually agree to hours but she tried throwing in my face the other day how unlicensed daycares can only watch children like 12 hrs per week. NOT true. So she said if I was doing 20, which I was, that it was between her and me and no one need know, kinda like she was breaking rules but it was ok cuz she agreed. Real backwards

Just tell her she won't have that problem again.

 

[torinsmom]

There is not limit to the number of hours an unlicensed person can take care of kids here in NC. The limit is on how many kids you care for besides your own before you are required to be licensed. It's been awhile since I did daycare in my home, but at one point, I kept three children(two from one family and one from another) plus my own child for 50 hours/week. I could have easily gotten licensed, but I didn't have to and didn't want to keep more kids.

Now, if you are keeping kids full day and then keeping additional kids before or after school, I believe there IS a limit to how long the additional kids can be at the home.

I don't believe this mom would be able to put her child in afterschool at the school. They would have to have diaper changing facilities to take him and he needs more one on one attention than that.

 

[barbarabini]

here in nj - i pay $15 per hour to the sitter who watches my 22 month old.

i think op gets paid to little and should bump it up a little.

A 2012 increase/