Alternative to baby "leash"

[Suellen]

If you have that many issues of your patent using a leash on you then perhaps it was used in an inappropriate manner. If this still troubles you 35 years later then you need to seek psychiatric counseling over this. Here's my FWIW. Having been a nurse is the ER and critical care units for 14 plus years and having encountered hundreds of patients with severe psychiatric problems that they believe were caused by their parents, I have never had someone say that it was caused by their mother or father putting a harness on them.

As for your you tube videos, are you telling me that there are not examples of parents all over you tube doing inappropriate things with their kids? You can find just about anything you want on you tube.

Of course you can find stuff on youtube... but the question here was WHY do people associate these harnesses with dog leashes... seeing parents with kids this way is WHY people associate it with dogs. PARENTS who use them and treat their children like dogs.

So no I don't need therapy thank you very much and my dad used it exactly as I've seen them used. Tethered to a parent. Just as everyone here is saying. You think your kids don't know or won't remember being leashed to you.... but you don't know that.

FWIW ~ I am not a psychiatric patient. I really appreciate the correlation though. Wow.... personal attack much?

 

[FosterA]

Of course you can find stuff on youtube... but the question here was WHY do people associate these harnesses with dog leashes... seeing parents with kids this way is WHY people associate it with dogs. PARENTS who use them and treat their children like dogs.

So no I don't need therapy thank you very much and my dad used it exactly as I've seen them used. Tethered to a parent. Just as everyone here is saying. You think your kids don't know or won't remember being leashed to you.... but you don't know that.

FWIW ~ I am not a psychiatric patient. I really appreciate the correlation though. Wow.... personal attack much?

sorry you had a bad experience as a child. I can make a pretty good list of crappy things my parents did to me too but that's what makes us who we are today and helps us in making better choices for our kids. Totally understand why "you" would not use a leash.

But...I don't believe there was ever an argument that child leashes don't "look" like dog leashes. (of course I haven't sludged through every post in this thread) I remember the first time I saw one I actually chuckled because they really do. BUT.....my point is "so what if they "look" like a dog leash?? When my kids were babies and peeked through the slats of their cribs, they sort of looked like my Shih Tzu in his crate I certainly don't debate the similarity to a dog on a leash but what' so bad about that? We're not talking about a choke chain or shock collar here folks. If the kid isn't embarassed or being drug along and seems to be enjoying getting to stretch his legs versus being strapped down in a stroller, who cares what it "looks" like?? I think pacifiers look pretty dumb but if it creates some peace and quiet than big whoop. Would that be considered lazy to pop a "binky" in a kid's mouth versus teaching them how to behave in public versus cry? I think putting a toddler in a bike helmet because he rides his tricyle 1/24th of a mile of an hour....in the grass... looks pretty dumb too (my overprotective neighbor does this and I laugh every day when I look out the window) BUT if it gives the parents some peace of mind and it's not hurting or humiliating the kids or bugging other people than WHAT ON EARTH IS THE BIG DEAL?

 

[Suellen]

sorry you had a bad experience as a child. I can make a pretty good list of crappy things my parents did to me too but that's what makes us who we are today and helps us in making better choices for our kids. Totally understand why "you" would not use a leash.

But...I don't believe there was ever an argument that child leashes don't "look" like dog leashes. (of course I haven't sludged through every post in this thread) I remember the first time I saw one I actually chuckled because they really do. BUT.....my point is "so what if they "look" like a dog leash?? When my kids were babies and peeked through the slats of their cribs, they sort of looked like my Shih Tzu in his crate I certainly don't debate the similarity to a dog on a leash but what' so bad about that? We're not talking about a choke chain or shock collar here folks. If the kid isn't embarassed or being drug along and seems to be enjoying getting to stretch his legs versus being strapped down in a stroller, who cares what it "looks" like?? I think pacifiers look pretty dumb but if it creates some peace and quiet than big whoop. Would that be considered lazy to pop a "binky" in a kid's mouth versus teaching them how to behave in public versus cry? I think putting a toddler in a bike helmet because he rides his tricyle 1/24th of a mile of an hour....in the grass... looks pretty dumb too (my overprotective neighbor does this and I laugh every day when I look out the window) BUT if it gives the parents some peace of mind and it's not hurting or humiliating the kids or bugging other people than WHAT ON EARTH IS THE BIG DEAL?

There isn't one. What others do with their kids don't matter to me. I couldn't care less.

I only posted those videos because yeah... there have been claims they are NOTHING like a dog leash and why do people keep associating them.

 

[twinboysmom]

Of course you can find stuff on youtube... but the question here was WHY do people associate these harnesses with dog leashes... seeing parents with kids this way is WHY people associate it with dogs. PARENTS who use them and treat their children like dogs.

So no I don't need therapy thank you very much and my dad used it exactly as I've seen them used. Tethered to a parent. Just as everyone here is saying. You think your kids don't know or won't remember being leashed to you.... but you don't know that.

FWIW ~ I am not a psychiatric patient. I really appreciate the correlation though. Wow.... personal attack much?

Nope, not a personal attack. Never did I refer to you as a psychiatric patient. I suggested that if something that happened to you 35 years ago was still bothering you to the point that you feel humiliated when you think about it that you speak to a professional. Also, I am perfectly fine with my boys remembering being on a leash. I would rather they be able to ask me why I felt the need to put them on a leash than to not because they slipped out of my hand at an interstate rest area and were hit by a car. They don't complain about the harness. And I don't drag them like a dog. You keep saying that what other parents do doesn't matter to you. Yet you continue to post on this topic so obviously, you could care less.

 

[Suellen]

I'm just posting so you will....

I've never once said NO ONE should leash their kid. Not once. EVER. I personally wouldn't. I mentioned this incident to my husband this morning after posting it here and he was surprised I'd never mentioned it. So, no it isn't something I sit around thinking about or obviously even talk about.... I only thought of it because we were talking about it.

People need to do what is right for them and their family.

Parents who drag their kid around like a dog are what make people associate these things with dogs.

Discipline is not always punishment.

I don't give how SOMEONE else handles their kid a second thought. Not my business.

I hope I'd get involved if it was a BAD situation for a kid... but I can't even guarantee that. We really are the type of people that mind our own business.

those are my points.

 

[tallen429]

While I never used one at WDW, I did have one when we lived in Europe and travelled very frequently to numerous countries. I used it with my middle son in large crowds and it was a lifesaver. As a matter of fact, I was often stopped by people to ask how to GET one! (I purchased it in the States and don't recall them being readily available in Europe at the time).
It is very easy for a small child to get swept up in crowd.

To each their own. I actually consider it responsible parenting, not the opposite.
I also find it a bit amusing that the same group who thinks any child who isn't in diapers has no business being in a stroller then chastises a rational alternative to keeping a child safe....

 

[GoofyVette]

Use your arms, just as I did and my Mother did. Strollers/Leashes are convenience for you, but a hassle for the rest of us. I would not tie my kid off on a leash for nothing. Maybe this is why so many are disconnected from thier kids or vice versa. I express my thoughts clearly to the parents who have a kid or two roped to their doublewide stroller while standing in the middle of a walkway reading a map. Be parents or stay home and stay outta our way whilst we are on vacation. Just my Two Cents.

 

[TLSnell1981]

So no I don't need therapy thank you very much and my dad used it exactly as I've seen them used. Tethered to a parent. Just as everyone here is saying. You think your kids don't know or won't remember being leashed to you.... but you don't know that.

FWIW ~ I am not a psych?

Well, I just asked, my 17 year old DGD, "were you traumatized because we used a leash at WDW (when you were 2)?" She laughed and said, "no, it made it easier for me to keep YOU from getting lost."

 

[maxiesmom]

Use your arms, just as I did and my Mother did. Strollers/Leashes are convenience for you, but a hassle for the rest of us. I would not tie my kid off on a leash for nothing. Maybe this is why so many are disconnected from thier kids or vice versa. I express my thoughts clearly to the parents who have a kid or two roped to their doublewide stroller while standing in the middle of a walkway reading a map. Be parents or stay home and stay outta our way whilst we are on vacation. Just my Two Cents.

As another poster pointed out, it is very uncomfortable to walk around with your arm up above your head all day. Yet some people think that by asking their child to do that, they are somehow being a better parent that one who uses a leash to keep their child safe. Yep, physical discomfort is somehow better than letting your child ride or walk.

Using a stroller or a leash does not mean you are ignoring your child and not parenting. And if use properly should have no impact on your vacation.

Keep in mind too that adults speed walking thru the parks can have a negative impact on others too. Also all map readers don't have strollers. Even if they banned strollers there would still be people stopping to read their maps getting in your way.

 

[North of Mouse]

Lots of practice with consistency now with consequences. No matter where you go he has to stay right with you, or you leave immediately, Going for a walk to the park, he runs you go home immediately and he has a time out. Going for ice cream, he doesn't stay, no ice cream and you go home. grocery store, with you or into the cart or home. Every single time, no exceptions.


I'm with your DH, hate them.

Say what you mean and mean what you say - no exceptions, amazing how quick even very young ones get the message. How many times have I heard parents say, "I knew he/she wasn't going to listen to me" Children live up/down to your expectations. Stand firm and they'll obey you because they know there is no choice Be consistant

 

[maxiesmom]

Say what you mean and mean what you say - no exceptions, amazing how quick even very young ones get the message. How many times have I heard parents say, "I knew he/she wasn't going to listen to me" Children live up/down to your expectations. Stand firm and they'll obey you because they know there is no choice Be consistant

There is no perfect way of parenting that works for all kids all of the time. Even kids who have learned that mom and dad mean what they say will sometimes push their boundaries at the worst possible time.

I have yet to know of any parenting method that is perfect and works on all kids all of the time, without question.

 

[RobynPrincess]

I wouldn't hesitate on using reigns. I have used them when nannying and they were used on me. I don't actually remember them being used in me but I certainly haven't got any lasting damage by them lol. I don't think it's lazy parenting to use them at all, it gives the child a degree of freedom to walk where they like, and it gives the parent the control of knowing where they are at all times. It's even good if you're on the ball and the child slips over, I have many a time caught them before they hit the floor face first. The reigns I have used are the ones that go over the chest and have a loop at the back to hold on to.

 

[adisneymama]

Here's my take on a father reluctant to use a tether:

1. Buy the backpack tether. Show it to him and make sure you emphasize the term tether, not leash. If he goes for it fine. If he doesn't like it, bring it with you anyway. Stow it away in your park bag.

2. When you get to the first park- give DH custody of DS and the stroller. Let him handle the issues of DS wanting out of said stroller. Let him take DS by the hand in the crowds and/or carry him.

3. When DH starts complaining about how hard it is to keep DS from breaking away and/or wants you to carry DS- pull out the tether and see what he says then.

At least, that's what I'd do.

Exactly what I would do to. Luckily, dh is one for we do whatever it takes to keep them safe. G/L OP!

 

[adisneymama]

I was going to suggest those, too

I like these but think they would be better suited for a less crowded area like a mall or your local park maybe. There is nothing stopping a toddler that has caught a glimpse of something from letting go and running off. He is holding on at his will. With the tether he can't go on his own. I think there is too much at Disney for little eyes to spot and want to see. If he is already active and running this may not be the best option. I think I would just practice more with the stroller and getting him use to it, take the tether as a back up option if needed.

 

[chinchiller]

I saw on one of these threads, at least I think it was here, a rope that you can attach to a stroller or belt loop or you hold that has a little ring on the end of it that your child holds on to, like they would hold on to your hand, but at a more comfortable level for them. Assuming you can get your child to hold on to it like they would hold onto your hand, it would maybe be a good mix of both worlds (not a leash, but not nothing either).

Jon and Kate used a rope with little rings attached to it for the kids to hang on to. That's not exactly what I'm talking about, but it might give you a visual if you've seen the show and are familiar with the contraption.

 

[ilovefh]

I'm neither for or against tethers/reigns/leashes. I'm for making sure your child is safe, no matter how you need to do it. In fact I just saw someone with the monkey backpack one tonight. Truthfully I can say this mom did not get a dirty look or a lecture from me. I did tell her her happy looking daughter was cute!

My question is for those who are vehemently against them and say consistency and consequence are the solution. I've seen PPs ask this too but I haven't seen an answer. If someone has answered it, I apologize.

Do you have locks on your cabinets to keep your toddler away from the chemicals under the sink? How about a baby gate at the top/bottom of your stairs? How about a fence around your pool?

If so why aren't these things considered "lazy" parenting. As you've stated consistency and consequence are the solution. Using your argument all an engaged parent would need to do is instruct their children to stay away from said cabinets/stairs/pools and do so consistently on order to keep their child safe.

Now, I'm not arguing that consistency and consequence are not key concepts when working with children in any capacity. However, it often takes more than a few times in order for the child to "get it" especially at a young age. Why is it so wrong to use a back up method, like a leash/reigns/tether until they understand like you would a cabinet lock, gate or fence?

Truthfully, I have no idea if we'll use one. DS is not quite walking yet so for now he is in a stroller. But, since we go to a park at least weekly, if he is a runner, I may resort to using one until he understands not to walk away. I'd rather him safe than lost.

And for the record, in my limited knowledge I've never heard of anyone being tripped by said leash/reigns/tether.

 

[GadgetRick]

Oh please. I think you know what I was trying to say in my other post. Don't go and try to flip it like I said when you go on vacay you should just throw all rules to the wind.

Uh, I didn't try and flip it...you said just that...almost verbatim.

And I have a question for the people repulsed by leashes and that think it's lazy parenting. Do ya'll have child proof locks on your cabinets or covers on your outlets? If you weren't "lazy" and they had proper discipline than you would never need to worry about your baby sticking a finger in a socket right?

I didn't have child locks in my house. I moved the dangerous stuff away from where they might get into it.

Yes, I used covers for outlets. That's MUCH different than what we're talking about here.

 

[GadgetRick]

SO TOTALLY not true.
My mother used one with my older sister in the 1970's. Several of my aunts used them, too.

You are quite the exception rather than the rule. I was a child in the 70s and never remember seeing any then. Ok, I was a child. I was older in the 80s. Never remember seeing them then. They weren't very popular. Wasn't until sometime during the 90s where they became more common.

They were not being used for a LOT of years previously, yet BILLIONS of people made it to adulthood...

 

[GadgetRick]

Apples to oranges on the bolded. Just because I don't agree with leashes doesn't mean I think a parent is lazy per se. I just happen to think there are more appropriate ways to deal with a child in that environment.

Exactly. I'm with you on this. I'm not saying most parents are lazy for using a leash.

 

[GadgetRick]

So, a kid with training wheels isn't learning how to ride a bike?
A teen in a driver ed car with rider-side controls isn't learning how to drive a car?

Absolutely, however, when my kid goes out on a bike with training wheels, I don't tie them to the house!