Alternative to baby "leash"

[ttintagel]

If it's not something which can be controlled by parenting, why is it you hardly ever saw these things 20, 30, 40 years ago (your case notwithstanding)?

SO TOTALLY not true.
My mother used one with my older sister in the 1970's. Several of my aunts used them, too.
In one version or another, the concept has been in common use for over a thousand years. Where do you think the phrase, "tied to his mother's apron strings" came from?

 

[phorsenuf]

Remember...I also have never leashed my kids and I certainly don't think a leash is the only way to go. I just can't, for the life of me, wrap my brain around why so many people on the DIS have such hang ups about them and insist on judging and calling parents lazy for using them I just wanted to point out that saying a parent is lazy for using a leash is like saying a parent is lazy for using a crib versus training and disciplining your child to sleep in a big-kid bed the day they learn to pull up or walk.

Apples to oranges on the bolded. Just because I don't agree with leashes doesn't mean I think a parent is lazy per se. I just happen to think there are more appropriate ways to deal with a child in that environment.

 

[ttintagel]

I find it funny how some claim putting a kid on a leash gives them independence....

So, a kid with training wheels isn't learning how to ride a bike?
A teen in a driver ed car with rider-side controls isn't learning how to drive a car?

 

[phorsenuf]

SO TOTALLY not true.
My mother used one with my older sister in the 1970's. Several of my aunts used them, too.
In one version or another, the concept has been in common use for over a thousand years. Where do you think the phrase, "tied to his mother's apron strings" came from?

Nope.

http://www.wordorigins.org/index.php/apron_strings_tied_to/

apron strings, tied to
Dave Wilton, Saturday, April 08, 2006

To be tied to apron strings is to be controlled by or unduly attached to one’s wife or mother. The phrase dates to 1848, first appearing in Anne Brontë’s The Tenant of Wildfell Hall:

Even at his age, he ought not to be always tied to his mother’s apron string.

The metaphor is fairly obvious and the term apron string has been in use in reference to women since the mid-17th century. An apron string hold or apron string tenure referred to property of one’s wife, which was controlled by the husband during her life but which afterwards would revert to her original family.

(Source: Oxford English Dictionary, 2nd Edition)

 

[Hannathy]

So, a kid with training wheels isn't learning how to ride a bike?
A teen in a driver ed car with rider-side controls isn't learning how to drive a car?

Actually they aren't. You don't learn to ride a bike with training wheels. They are there only so you can't fall over. When they are taken off a child still has to learn how to "ride" a bike or else you would take of the training wheels and a kid would go riding off down the street.

If a drivers ed car has controls they are only used in an emergency they don't let the student drive as fast as they want and then the instructor applies the brake.

 

[BonnieA]

I don't get it. What difference is it to you? Mind your own business. I don't give a flying fig what people think. I don't know these people. If they don't agree, that is their problem, not mine. Do what you want.

 

[maxiesmom]

As for strollers, that's much more safer then letting them roam to the end of a leash. Strollers also keep the flow of movement, especially in a crowded environment. Little feet move much slower which makes them easier to trip over.

Right. Because we never see posts on here complaining about strollers. About how people trip over strollers, or get hit with strollers. Or about people blocking walkways with strollers.

If the parent uses the toddler leash properly, it won't bother anyone else. Just as if people use strollers properly, they don't bother anyone else.

 

[larryz]

And pushing the little snowflakes about in strollers like a snowdrift of entitled little marshmallows isn't doing them any good, either...

 

[mdsouth]

Perhaps it's a "responsible parent" who knows their child's tendency to take off and doesn't want to chance them running into a dangerous situation...

It only takes a split second, and the most responsible parent in the world can't react fast enough to stop the consequences.

And then, they truly ARE the responsible parent -- as listed in the police report.


Thanks so much for sharing your opinions.

A responsible parent DOES use a tether at times. My nephew is Autistic and is a runner. He does not have a fear for safety and also does not respond to just words or even the same consequences over and over. So, my mother made him a vest that has a tether attached to it on the back. The vest zips in the back not the front since a child could remove the vest on his or her own otherwise.

Before the vest, he ran across the yard and across three lanes of traffic in split seconds as three adults ran after him. We were all in the yard with him within arms length but it wasn't enough to keep him safe. That scare alone makes me believe that ALL PARENTS should do whatever is best for their child to keep them safe -- it doesn't matter that some people will look at you in a weird manner or that some people think it is morally wrong to harness a child.

 

[mdsouth]

these child-leash threads always amaze me. What on earth is the big deal?! It seems like so many people are appalled by them because they "look" like a dog leash. How dumb is that? My kids slept in cribs and those sort of "look" like dog crates.

For the record...i've never used a leash on my now 15 y.o and 12 y.o. Because they were such cling-on babies that i could rarely remove them from my body. But...i've seen those little monkey backpack leash things and i think they are pretty clever. When i first saw one i actually thought that it was more caring of a parent to use one than strapping their kid into a stroller because at least with the leash, they could get some exercise.

I know it's shocking to some people but alot of parents actually would like to enjoy themselves while on vacation and not just have it all be about the kid and proving yourself to be a "consistent and controlled" parent that is always "on". If leashing the tike allows you to actually have a better time and nobody is being hurt in the process and it's not disrupting other guests than what's the problem? My 12 year old son loves soda and i never allow it at home but when we were at disney, that kid od'd on the stuff. You know why? I wanted to be lazy and have a good time at disney and didn't feel like arguing about how much coke was too much etc etc. His coke drinking didn't effect any other guests or take away from anybody else's enjoyment of the park so i didn't let it bother me. If a "leasher" wants to relax and attempt to have a good time and loosen up on the "consistent parenting" thing for a couple days i highly doubt the kid will turn out to be a delinquent because for 5 days he wasn't disciplined enough to walk side-by-side with mom. Loosen up people........

amen!

 

[mco65]

WOW, glad my twins are out of the stroller/leash stages.. I used both and could care less what others may have thought of my parenting skills.. It's not a contest.. who cares what method you use for peace of mind!

 

[jcondrad]

I admit I was worried about our 2 yo too and purchased a harness just in case. If it meant my daughters safety, then I didn't care what anyone thought. We never had to use it though, there was so much going on she stayed right by us.

An alternative though, our harness came with a side "leash" it had a Velcro strap to wrap around the Childs wrist and the other end could connect to the stroller or a parents wrist.

 

[Suellen]

This kid doesn't looked leashed like a dog at ALL.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QScZdIesojc

And this little girl.... she looks like she is having fun right?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUFKt5WQqv8

THIS is why people view it like walking your dog.

Yeah, yeah... two examples... but check out youtube... it isn't just two.

 

[maxiesmom]

This kid doesn't looked leashed like a dog at ALL.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QScZdIesojc

And this little girl.... she looks like she is having fun right?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUFKt5WQqv8

THIS is why people view it like walking your dog.

Yeah, yeah... two examples... but check out youtube... it isn't just two.

What those videos don't explain is the reason why the parents chose to use a leash for their child. I'd rather a child be on a leash than running around like a wild thing, tearing up the place. Or running away and getting hurt. Though using one at a playground seems to be an odd choice.

 

[Suellen]

What those videos don't explain is the reason why the parents chose to use a leash for their child. I'd rather a child be on a leash than running around like a wild thing, tearing up the place. Or running away and getting hurt. Though using one at a playground seems to be an odd choice.

Just saying.... these parents and this type of thing is why people associate the "tether/leash/harness" with how we treat our dogs.

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

Just saying.... these parents and this type of thing is why people associate the "tether/leash/harness" with how we treat our dogs.

I completely agree! I never once even thought about putting a leash on my kids and walking them. Some people like to parent the most convenient way possible. Sad really...

 

[FosterA]

I have no idea why I got sucked into this stupid thread, my kids are grown and I've never even used a leash before I guess I just had to open my big mouth because the judging and snobbery on this DIS board is amazing to me.

Gotta say, that playground-leashed kid video was pretty funny though!

anyhoo....doesn't matter what kind of videos are on Youtube. You can probably google "screaming kid strapped into Hummer-sized stroller" and find a load of them. You can probably search for "mom frantic after losing toddler because his sweaty little hand slipped out of hers for a second". You can probably even find "family of 4 taking up entire trail by insisting on all holding hands and creating a barricade so nobody can get by". Who knows......Obviously the first video is an "older" child who is a bit out of control because either she has "issues" or maybe her mom can't "parent", but the leash isn't a problem. This girl would probably be a challenge without a leash too so why not let the mom have the peace of mind to leash the kid? Why should you care? The leash is not what is making this kid be a pain in the butt.... know what I mean?

Second video is hilarious. It's obvious the parent that is a little cuckoo. But who knows, maybe the parent was kidnapped by a pedophile when they were a kid so they have "over protective issues'? Maybe the parent is just super lazy and wants to be able to play on his iphone and not worry about the kid. Once again...I don't think the leash is the issue. If they didn't have this leash maybe the guy would never leave the house because of his phobias? If he was anti-leash and felt that it was better to just hold hands with the child, then he'd be climbing all over that slide too and that would just be freaky and weird

What it comes down to is that there are lazy parents and uptight parents but I don't think a leash has a single thing to do with it.

And for the sake of argument....let's say someone has been working with their child on the proper way to behave in public/crowded places and they have been teaching their kid not to run off and so forth and so on. Let's say they practice at Walmart all the time and things are going well and the child is proving to be quite the disciplined little guy. Then...family decides to go to Disney and mom and dad are actually a man and a woman/husband/wife/individual and not just put on the Earth to be a parent. This man or woman would like to half-way enjoy themselves and have a good time after working like a slave at their job all year and they'd like to be able to relax and look at the sites at Disney. They decide to leash the kid just for some peace of mind so they can attempt to have a good time on vacation TOO (because, it's not ALWAYS about the kid). Is that so wrong? Not to "quit" parenting since you are on vacation but to relax your "child-training" just a notch AS LONG AS IT'S NOT HURTING CHILD OR DISRUPTING OTHER GUESTS? Is it so bad to admit that it's ok that maybe you want to be a little lazier on vacation and get back to work on "training my child to walk in public" when you get back home?? Is that so bad? Disclaimer: I have never leashed and hate strollers too. My kids were like barnacles on my body so it wasn't necessary. Secondly...in case you overlooked it, I never said to "quit parenting" on vacation, just to relax some on your "child training" AS LONG AS IT'S SAFE AND NOT DISRUPTIVE TO OTHERS.
and don't pipe up with "but leashes can trip people, yada yada" We all know that the Hummer strollers are way more annoying and in the way.

 

[maxiesmom]

I completely agree! I never once even thought about putting a leash on my kids and walking them. Some people like to parent the most convenient way possible. Sad really...

Are you anti stroller too then? Because strollers are a huge convenience. As are baby wraps. You don't like those then either, right? Did you use all cloth diapers as well, because you know those convenient disposable diapers are not good for the planet at all.

Convenient doesn't necessarily = bad. Or sad.

 

[Suellen]

I have no idea why I got sucked into this stupid thread, my kids are grown and I've never even used a leash before I guess I just had to open my big mouth because the judging and snobbery on this DIS board is amazing to me.

Gotta say, that playground-leashed kid video was pretty funny though!

anyhoo....doesn't matter what kind of videos are on Youtube. You can probably google "screaming kid strapped into Hummer-sized stroller" and find a load of them. You can probably search for "mom frantic after losing toddler because his sweaty little hand slipped out of hers for a second". You can probably even find "family of 4 taking up entire trail by insisting on all holding hands and creating a barricade so nobody can get by". Who knows......Obviously the first video is an "older" child who is a bit out of control because either she has "issues" or maybe her mom can't "parent", but the leash isn't a problem. This girl would probably be a challenge without a leash too so why not let the mom have the peace of mind to leash the kid? Why should you care? The leash is not what is making this kid be a pain in the butt.... know what I mean?

Second video is hilarious. It's obvious the parent that is a little cuckoo. But who knows, maybe the parent was kidnapped by a pedophile when they were a kid so they have "over protective issues'? Maybe the parent is just super lazy and wants to be able to play on his iphone and not worry about the kid. Once again...I don't think the leash is the issue. If they didn't have this leash maybe the guy would never leave the house because of his phobias? If he was anti-leash and felt that it was better to just hold hands with the child, then he'd be climbing all over that slide too and that would just be freaky and weird

What it comes down to is that there are lazy parents and uptight parents but I don't think a leash has a single thing to do with it.

And for the sake of argument....let's say someone has been working with their child on the proper way to behave in public/crowded places and they have been teaching their kid not to run off and so forth and so on. Let's say they practice at Walmart all the time and things are going well and the child is proving to be quite the disciplined little guy. Then...family decides to go to Disney and mom and dad are actually a man and a woman/husband/wife/individual and not just put on the Earth to be a parent. This man or woman would like to half-way enjoy themselves and have a good time after working like a slave at their job all year and they'd like to be able to relax and look at the sites at Disney. They decide to leash the kid just for some peace of mind so they can attempt to have a good time on vacation TOO (because, it's not ALWAYS about the kid). Is that so wrong? Not to "quit" parenting since you are on vacation but to relax your "child-training" just a notch AS LONG AS IT'S NOT HURTING CHILD OR DISRUPTING OTHER GUESTS? Is it so bad to admit that it's ok that maybe you want to be a little lazier on vacation and get back to work on "training my child to walk in public" when you get back home?? Is that so bad? Disclaimer: I have never leashed and hate strollers too. My kids were like barnacles on my body so it wasn't necessary. Secondly...in case you overlooked it, I never said to "quit parenting" on vacation, just to relax some on your "child training" AS LONG AS IT'S SAFE AND NOT DISRUPTIVE TO OTHERS.
and don't pipe up with "but leashes can trip people, yada yada" We all know that the Hummer strollers are way more annoying and in the way.

Like I said... TWO examples of why I personally would associate the tether to a dog leash. Seeing kids actually treated like dogs while on one. Just saying.

Everyone keeps asking WHY we associate the leash with a dog... that is why. Seeing kids treated like dogs while on them. That's all.

I've said again and again... don't care what YOU do... I would never do it.

FWIW my dad used one on me once and I'm scarred for life by it. I was three and remember it clear as day. I'm humiliated now thinking about it sitting here in my living room 35 years later.

 

[twinboysmom]

Like I said... TWO examples of why I personally would associate the tether to a dog leash. Seeing kids actually treated like dogs while on one. Just saying.

Everyone keeps asking WHY we associate the leash with a dog... that is why. Seeing kids treated like dogs while on them. That's all.

I've said again and again... don't care what YOU do... I would never do it.

FWIW my dad used one on me once and I'm scarred for life by it. I was three and remember it clear as day. I'm humiliated now thinking about it sitting here in my living room 35 years later.

If you have that many issues of your patent using a leash on you then perhaps it was used in an inappropriate manner. If this still troubles you 35 years later then you need to seek psychiatric counseling over this. Here's my FWIW. Having been a nurse is the ER and critical care units for 14 plus years and having encountered hundreds of patients with severe psychiatric problems that they believe were caused by their parents, I have never had someone say that it was caused by their mother or father putting a harness on them.

As for your you tube videos, are you telling me that there are not examples of parents all over you tube doing inappropriate things with their kids? You can find just about anything you want on you tube.