Afraid to Fly

[ihearttink]

My husband and I will be celebrating our 20th wedding anniversay in May. We have been to Disney, with our daughter, 5 times over the years and have driven each time. This will be our first time there by ourselves and I am looking forward to it. What I am NOT looking forward to is the drive down (22 hours from Connecticut). It takes a total travel time of 4 days back and forth. I would really like to use those days at Disney.

My husband thinks we should fly, 2 hours versus 22, but I am beyond petrified. One time I tried to fly to Vegas with my friends. I got on the plane and off with only my luggage making the trip.

Does anyone have any suggestions how to overcome this fear? I would love to be able to get on the plane and go but I'm afraid I will book it and choke again like I did with the Vegas vacation.

Thanks for any suggestions you might have.

 

[CarolA]

Perhaps you could go to the doctor and get a perscription for Xanax.

The best piece of advice I can give you is that you have lived thru the most dangerous part of the trip when you arrive at the airport. I fly every week. I have been nearly killed twice in car accidents. (The last one I survived due to a wonderful car safety system) I nave never even been scratched by a plane.

There is a website. I don't know the address. Try typing fear of flying in google.

 

[Tigger Woods]

Originally posted by CarolA
Perhaps you could go to the doctor and get a perscription for Xanax.

I second the Xanax solution. I used to have a terrible fear of flying. I would close my eyes and pray during take-offs and landings. (Seriously.) The slightest turbulence would cause me to be on pins and needles. Drinking alcohol only made things worse. Finally, my doctor prescribed Xanax, which is a non-addictive anti-anxiety pill. I took one an hour before take-off, and was extremely relaxed by flight time. I was much less anxious during the flight. Believe it or not, I have flown so many times since then, I no longer need the Xanax, and have learned to really enjoy flying. Xanax got me over the hump, and I highly recommend it.

 

[Brian Noble]

My MIL also is very afraid of flying, and no amount of quoting per-pasenger-mile accident statistics will convince her. (Though it is true: you are *much* more likely to be killed on the way to/from the airport than on the plane.) In a car, she has the sense of being in control of her fate, and not so in an airplane. However, a visit to and appropriate script from her physician, plus the allure of a destination impossible to drive to (the UK) helped her get on a plane.

Have a conversation with your physician, and possibly get a referral for a specialist. There are also folks out there who specifically work with people afraid of flying---you could see if someone is in your area.

Barring that, you could consider taking a train. It will be as slow as a car and as expensive as a plane, but it is more pleasant than the former and less scary than the latter.

 

[js]

Does the Xanax make you feel cloudy or sleepy? I hate the feeling of not being in control but this sounds like such a good solution for me.
I HATE flying. Always did and still do. We go to Florida once or twice a year and usually drive from NY which I really don't mind since I hate the flying (but my husband usually does all the driving LOL) Anyway, we are flying next month, day after Thanksgiving to WDW, and already had many dreams about being on the plane, the plane being out of control, etc. but I wake up before anything happens. My one dream where the plane was out of control, I saw the face of the captain (Asian) and now told my family that if the captain is Asian when we get on, I think we will need to get off the plane. Can you imagine, we are on the plane, boarding, and I have to turn around. What could I do after that dream? Anyway, yes, that is how bad my flying is. I don't limit myself to where we go due to flying but this is the anxiety I experience prior to a flight I'm going to try the Zanax route.
My dd loves to fly and my ds tolerates it although I try to be really good and happy and excited I am a wreck inside.
Thank you very much.

 

[Brian Noble]

One suggestion: don't start your conversation with your physician with "I want Xanax." Contrary to the post above, it is a habit-forming drug (though based on literature I've read, not at low doses or short term use), and your physician may suspect you are "doctor shopping" to get him/her to write you a script.

 

[lilallybean]

I have the very same fear, my poor lil sister had claw marks on her arms during our last flight together. I am a psych nurse so I do know how addictive the meds can be. I went to see my Dr. and I discussed my fear. I suggest that you ask your for Ativan 0.5mg and onlly ask for about 6 pills. That should be about the right amount to get youthere and then back again. Take one as you are getting ready to go to the airport(DO NOT DRIVE YOURSELF THERE!!!), take one at the airport, and then one around take off. Don't ever be afriad to talk with yourDr. In fact I would even try to call and talk with the nurse about what is going on first, he may not even need to see you in the office if you ask for only a FEW pills. Also while in the air try to distract yourself. Starting with the letter A name a disney character that starts with each letter of the alphabet. Then name a movie that starts with each letter, then a song. You will be back on land before ya know it! Good luck and hope this all helps you out!

 

[vacationwoman]

If you are that afraid of flying why force yourself to do it, with or without the help of "drugs"?

Even if the "drugs" help you during the flight you will spend days (both going and returning) being overly anxious about your upcoming flight. I tried taking "drugs" once and it didn't help. The days before my flights were "very stressed" and the drugs didn't help that much during the flight. So in 1992 I just stopped flying altogether.

This has been my own experience although I'm sure others have had good luck with the "drug" help.

Take the extra days and drive or if it's too much driving for you take the train. We have been taking the train since "93" and love it. (my husband can no longer drive and it's too much for me to do alone)
I do spoil myself by getting a deluxe sleeper and although it's hugely expensive I just consider it a normal part of my vacation expense and it's worth every penny if it keeps me out of the air.

Good Luck

 

[goofy4tink]

Check out the 'fear of flying' site. It is indeed good and was helpful for me. A lot of those ominous noises are explained. I fly now and start counting off the seconds and tell my dd exactly what will happen next. I myself am an extremely nervous flier. It's only now, after flying every year, at least once, that I can start to relax. So....get some good headphones. Either bring your own music or plug into the airlines music. Not hearing the outside noise helps. Try deep breathing. If you have had any lamaze classes, this is a good time for them!!! Try to sit in the middle seat. My dd only flys on the window and dh likes the aisle, so it makes it easier for me.

Now, for me the big thing to remember is that...the darn plane really, really wants to be in the air. That's what it was built for. This is the big reason I hate take-off and landing. Go to the fear of flying site....it should help. Go and watch the other people in the airport. Once on board the plane, watch the attendants,,,if they look relaxed so should you. Try not to obsess over this until May. Otherwise you will make yourself sick!!!! Come on..you can do it...we know you can. Think of the extra time with Mickey that you're gonna have!!!!!

 

[BillPA]

Think about the train. It is still 20+ hours, but you can relax on the ride down and back, it's only 1 day each way not 2. You won’t need to worry about traffic, this won't help with the fear of flying, but it might be a good alternative to a plane.

Have a great trip.

 

[Kevenswife2]

I don't have a fear of flying, but do start having 'bad thoughts' in the middle of a flight. Thoughts of all the things which could go wrong. When that happens I start thinking of the flight crew. They all want to make it safely home to their families and will do everything in their power to make it so.

We've been to FL four times in the last five years. Out of those four times, last year was the first we've flown. I have to say I'm spoiled now. I never want to spend four of my vacation days driving again.

If I had a fear of flying as you do, I wouldn't hesitate to talk to my doctor and see what they suggest. My fear is of the dentist, and he always 'gives me the gas' to help me relax.

Congrats on your upcoming wedding anniversary! 20 years, that's great! Hope you enjoy your 'adult only' Disney trip , however you get there.

 

[Anne745]

Take the meds, but please talk to your doctor. My doctor always gives me about 6-7 of Ativan and it is enough to take the edge of of my huge fear. Try it before you fly but remember when you are relaxed it works differently than when you are nervous. For some people Xanax works great, others use Ativan. Both are similar. Your doctor can help you decide. Thanks and enjoy the flight. Also try a nice tape of someone that relaxes you. The music of Josh Grobin works for me. Good luck. Anne

 

[ihearttink]

Thanks for your responses everyone.

I am going to go and talk to my dr. about xanax. The last time we were at Disney and rode on space mountain, when I said "lets ride again" dh looked at me and said I can't believe you'r afraid to fly but will get on this again, LOL.

Usually the ride down and back was easy and fun for me, but as I get older I dislike it more and more.

I have done the train twice and didn't mind it. Hubby hated it. I will also check out the websites.

Wish me luck, the worst that can happen is the luggage will make it and I won't, oh, been there and done that already.

 

[Luckymommyx2]

Please check out the fearoflying.com website. I'm okay once I hit cruising altitude but hate take-offs and any turbulance. I'm flying in 10 days and thought I'd check out the website to see if it made me feel better and it did. They have short videos, sounds, and he goes in depth to explain things. Great tool for those even a little nervous flying. Good luck!!