Advice or explanation about lies and kids?

[tmarquez]

My DD is 6. A few months ago she started telling lies. She doesn't lie to get out of trouble, she just makes up elaborate stories for no reason. I've been trying to do some research about this, but haven't found much of anything except that she may be trying to get attention. I don't think this is the case because she gets TONS of attention from everyone.

She does it a lot. For example, yesterday she told 3 "stories" that I know of. 2 to me, and 1 to her grandma. I am able to catch her now, after months of practice, but grandma totally believed her story. She is very convincing.

Occasionally she WANTS to get caught. She will start the story out simply and if I don't catch her (or let her keep going) she will start to throw in little details that don't seem quite right, then if you let her keep going the details will get continuously more out there until it's just ridiculous. But most of the time she seems very impressed with herself that she can make people believe her.

I'm hoping this is just a stage. It is really kind of frightening how good at it she is. Anybody?

 

[stsomewhere]

My DD=7 started that. I think that it is something they go through. She did stop ater I grounded her for 2 weeks and she had to miss her friend's party.

 

[Stephres]

I think at this age they are really starting to discover the power of their imaginations and can get confused between reality and pretend. I don't think it's anything malicious and you should punish it and she will outgrow it. Maybe just emphasize the difference between pretend stories and real ones.

 

[mcottovs]

I have to agree with PP. My 11 year old was amazingly good at telling stories. She did grow out of it. She did get in trouble when she told me a whopper about getting hit in the classroom by another classmate and I had a meeting with the teacher about it...only to find she had no idea what I was talking about! It doesn't seem like it now, but you will laugh about it down the road. Good luck!

 

[koolaidmoms]

My DD (8) has had several friends already go through this stage. She would come home and tell these stories that the girls had told her and we would have to talk through it about how can that be true - Your friend can not live in California as it would be a half day flight to just get to school in the morning. Maybe what they meant was they wished they lived in California.

But over time DD has had to start to question all that her BFF says. This keeps DD extra honest as DD can understand how DD stuggles to believe her BFF and trust her because of the stories BFF tells.

Maybe this may help with your DD too. The trust factor. If you or anyone else has to constantly question about her telling the truth they will eventually stop believing all she has to say even when she is telling the truth. We read the Boy Who Cried Wolf with DD and talked about real life situations that could happen and the consequences of others not believing us - getting hurt, not having friends, etc...

Hope this helps some.

 

[Juliegirl1]

I'm sorry but I have to kinda laugh as my son (8) is the exact opposite. He is all about telling the truth which is wonderful except when he says "Mom - you lied to me. You said it would rain today." or "You lied - you said Dad was going to pick me up for school" or "Our teacher lied to us and said she was giving us a test today and then she didn't", etc.

I am having a hard time teaching him that we aren't exactly lying but are giving him an answer based on the information that we have at the time. It's gotten so I don't want to tell him anything because no matter what it seems like I'm a liar!

Don't forget to write down some of her most fantastic stories - they will be fun to look back on - hopefully she will grow out of it.

Signed
Mom, the Liar

 

[cdrn1]

I think at this age they are really starting to discover the power of their imaginations and can get confused between reality and pretend. I don't think it's anything malicious and you should punish it and she will outgrow it. Maybe just emphasize the difference between pretend stories and real ones.

OT but just had to say my gosh! Your kids are cute!
cdrn1 (a 50-something grandma)

 

[smylie1]

I actually remember doing this to DM. I guess I was probably about 5. Our vacuume would not work so I told DM that our neighbor who had came to babysit me one evening had tried to clean up and got mad and jumped on it "with both feet". My mom told her mom and another friend of hers. I remember feeling almost proud that she was telling my story! I don't remember doing it after that so I guess I grew out of it too.

 

[bookgirl]

My DD is 6. A few months ago she started telling lies. She doesn't lie to get out of trouble, she just makes up elaborate stories for no reason. I've been trying to do some research about this, but haven't found much of anything except that she may be trying to get attention. I don't think this is the case because she gets TONS of attention from everyone.

She does it a lot. For example, yesterday she told 3 "stories" that I know of. 2 to me, and 1 to her grandma. I am able to catch her now, after months of practice, but grandma totally believed her story. She is very convincing.

Occasionally she WANTS to get caught. She will start the story out simply and if I don't catch her (or let her keep going) she will start to throw in little details that don't seem quite right, then if you let her keep going the details will get continuously more out there until it's just ridiculous. But most of the time she seems very impressed with herself that she can make people believe her.

I'm hoping this is just a stage. It is really kind of frightening how good at it she is. Anybody?

One of my 9 yo nephews does this, we just let him go on, then we ask is this the truth or a D*** version of the truth. He usually gives us a big old smile and says both, then tells us the real version. He is very creative and very engaging, and smart to boot. The kid was arguing semantics with me when he was a toddler. As long as he is aware that it's a 'story' and that when push comes to shove that there is a time and place for the truth and also for his imagination, we don't worry about it. He's not a liar and he will tell the truth, and will always admit wrong doing even when he is at fault. He just thinks that the truth is boring most of the time.