advice on seperation/divorce??UPDATED LAST PAGE

[Funniebunny]

So sorry to hear this. I got divorced about 2 years ago and although we didn't have kids I know what you will be going through. We did our divorce through the court ourselves so the cost was very small. If you can sort out amongst yourselves the financial side of things it will be much easier and cheaper. Like you, we just drifted apart but I'm pleased to say that we are still friends and I am going to his wedding in 3 weeks time.
I really hope everything works out for you. I'll send you lots of pixie dust

 

[natalielongstaff]

So sorry to hear this. I got divorced about 2 years ago and although we didn't have kids I know what you will be going through. We did our divorce through the court ourselves so the cost was very small. If you can sort out amongst yourselves the financial side of things it will be much easier and cheaper. Like you, we just drifted apart but I'm pleased to say that we are still friends and I am going to his wedding in 3 weeks time.
I really hope everything works out for you. I'll send you lots of pixie dust

this is how i hope we can end up !! we dont hate each other but we dont love each other either, i do hope we can remain friends after all he is still dad to the kids

 

[Minniespal]

i do hope we can remain friends after all he is still dad to the kids

That's the best way to view in Nat

 

[Cyrano]

Nice to hear that the children are your top priority though. Coming from a family (and I use the term loosely) where my parents had a messy and non amicable divorce, I know what it can be like for them.

Got that T-shirt myself. Being asked to pick a side of either mum or dad was not pleasant.

 

[arieljasmine]

Sorry to hear your news, Natalie. Just wanted to send you some at this difficult time.

ArielJasmine

 

[Verity Chambers]

Sending you lots of love and hugs nat.

 

[jjk]

sorry to hear that hope everthing works out for you and your family.

 

[ely3857]

I am ever so sorry Natalie but unfortunatley I have no advice just



Jodie

 

[Lisash]

Sorry to hear that Nat

 

[jockey]

Natalie, hope everything works out.

 

[wideeyes]

good luck with your future hope everything works out for the best

 

[slinky101]

Hi nat, just wanted to say i was in a similar position 6 years ago, we had decided to seperate and had a holiday booked for minorca two weeks later, although the kids were only 2 and 4 at the time they were aware of the holiday and we just couldnt cancel it so we went, I really think that the holiday is the reason we are friendly now, we had two weeks of talking everything over with a bottle of wine when the kids were in bed. We had a chance to talk over what we both felt had gone wrong and what we wanted for the kids etc.
I am now married again and he is getting married next june,we shared the solicitors costs, as I divorced him only I had a solicitor and he agreed to everything to make it easier and cheaper, we get on very well although finances are still an issue between us as, he is self employed he keeps trying to tell me he hasnt got any money which as you can imagine I do not take very well! He has a fantastic relationship with the kids and sees them every week.
I would say you are making the right decision by going on the holiday, it may mean you get back together while away if thats what you both want but if not, it will give you an opportunity to talk which as parents we dont always get.
good luck whatever happens.

 

[natalielongstaff]

thanks claire can i be nosy and ask how you sorted out your housing situation ??

 

[alisonbestford]

If I can be a little cheeky, and jump in here, my ex 'bought me out' of the house, enabling me to buy another (I didn't want to stay in the 'family' house).

We had an informal arrangement regarding the children (4 and 7 at the time) being able to stay, mostly, anywhere, whenever they liked (or was possible as I worked nights )

 

[natalielongstaff]

thanks for your reply alison, i want to stay in the house ....as im a childminder i work from home as well so it makes sense for me to stay !

 

[Miffy2003]

Nat, I missed this post before, but sending you a big

It is a difficult situation to be in, but sometimes the most difficult decisions can be the best ones in the long run.

 

[pokemon_master]

So sorry about the mutal break up... Have some more huggies

Good luck telling the kids.

 

[cheryl.UK]

Oh Nat, we're so sorry. Our thoughts are with you and the kids.

never been divorced as I've never been married but I did split up from an 8 year relationship before I met Boris and my advoice from that experience is keep it simple and keep talking. If seeing each other hurts..don't,,but do keep up the phone calls.

My brother and sister both divorced a few years ago and my observation from them is..When you hit a sticking point think 'what would be best for the kids?' In the long run this is what will be best for you also.


Hope it helps.

 

[Ware Bears]

thanks for your reply alison, i want to stay in the house ....as im a childminder i work from home as well so it makes sense for me to stay !

Nat, hope you don't mind me butting in here.

My B-i-L and S-i-L divorced 10 years ago when their son was 5. S-i-L and son stayed in the family house and courts decided that they would continue to do so until either he was 18/finished full-time education or she remarried/cohabitated whatever came first. B-i-L had to contribute to mortgage/expenses etc. She has now remarried and has bought my B-i-L out.

Other B-i-L also got divorced and his kids chose to stay with him so he got to stay in family home and bought S-i-L out.

Hope this is of some help. Sending you more

 

[pixiedustmum]

I divorced 6 years ago after 15 years of marriage. We too grew apart and had a very amicable divorce.
The hardest thing I found was that I felt guilty for wanting a seperation because there were no arguments etc, we simply grew apart, but for me living my life with someone I just saw as a friend was no enough. I was so glad when my ex found someone new as I knew he had moved on.
Im sure you will be able to stay friends as long as you are open and honest with each other.