Advice on a wedding gift

[1bandaid]

A person I work with got married last week. She had told most of the staff but me and one other guy before the wedding. Although no one from the office attended or was invited to the wedding. The problem is a different staff member wants to "celebrate her wedding with a cake and we can shower her with gifts".

I am obviously not close with her. I was wondering if a card and best wishes is appropriate, or to join a colleage with purchasing some champagne and champagne glasses.

This is her second marriage, she has a 2 year old with her husband and has been living with him since she came to work here.

tia all suggestions appreciated

 

[mickeyboat]

That's a tough one. I would be inclined to just give a card, but I tend to feel pressured about those kinds of things at work. So as long as I could afford it, I would probably chip in on something.

 

[MIGrandma]

That's a tough one. I would be inclined to just give a card, but I tend to feel pressured about those kinds of things at work. So as long as I could afford it, I would probably chip in on something.

I would chip in with other co-workers for something too, rather than buying a gift on my own or just giving her a card.

 

[Scornelius]

A lovely card with handwritten well-wishes. I don't believe in gifts for second marriages, especially when they've already set up a home and have a child.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I would chip in with other co-workers for something too, rather than buying a gift on my own or just giving her a card.

Ditto.

 

[FSUDisneyGirl]

If it's someone you're going to be working with for a while, I would prob. chip and maybe do a card and gift with a group. Keeps things happy for the future

 

[Disney Doll]

As much as I understand your feeling less than enthused about getting a gidft, it generally makes the way smoother at work to go with the flow sometimes...my guessis that this is one fo those times. Do the "chip in" gift so it won't cost you an arm & a leg.

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

I don't give gifts for weddings that I'm not invited to.

 

[disykat]

Last year a coworker of mine got married. She and her new husband also had a well established household and had a small wedding with no coworkers invited.

Some people got her gifts, but there was also a person coordinating an envelope of money for a gift card. (Ours happened to be for a spa day before her wedding.) You put money in the envelope and put your name on the outside so it could be listed on the card. No one kept track of amounts, nor was an amount suggested. I thought it was a perfect way to allow people to contribute large amounts, small amounts, or not at all.

 

[pyrxtc]

yes, a small gift would be nice or just putting money towards one is a nice idea too. Sometimes you can't invite everyone you want to the wedding.

Also, the gift isn't really to set up the household, (that is what a wedding shower is for ) the wedding gift is like saying, "I am happy for you and I hope that you life together is wonderful. Here is something nice that will lok nice on your wall to remind you of me or whatever it does that you buy her." It's not a big deal, second weddings, and you don't have to go big but well wishes and a token gift will be nicely received. I don't see the problem wiht 2nd weddings since I had one myself. Actually, unless you were around for her first wedding/marriage then it is quite appropriate to "shower " her with gifts for this one. Not bad etiquette at all. It is her new friends in her new life.

 

[JohnsPrincess]

I love the champagne and flutes idea!

I agree with the others though, a huge gift isn't necessary, but something small would be nice.