Adrian Peterson

[low-key]

now that more evidence is in , I think everyone agrees he crossed the line. But its easy to see why this is a touchy subject subject, some of us believe spanking can be a useful tool is parenting, other think thats just pure abuse. Lets face it none of us know for sure, we are just all trying to bring our kids up the best we know how

 

[mnrose]

I am not against spanking. Personally, I don't believe it is very effective, and I prefer to find my kids' "currency" and use that instead (when they were little, this was time outs; now that they are teens, it's their electronics or the ability to participate in their favorite activities).

However, I AM against child abuse. If spanking leaves bruises or draws blood, it isn't discipline anymore, it is abuse.

AP clearly crossed a line, and I can't believe it is even being debated as to whether he did or not. What he did wasn't spanking. I was spanked as child (once that I recall) and it certainly didn't draw blood or leave bruises. AP abused his child. And, he's a pathetic excuse for a man.

 

[CdnCarrie]

now that more evidence is in , I think everyone agrees he crossed the line. But its easy to see why this is a touchy subject subject, some of us believe spanking can be a useful tool is parenting, other think thats just pure abuse. Lets face it none of us know for sure, we are just all trying to bring our kids up the best we know how

Strongly disagree. Striking another human being is wrong. There is no reason to do it. As we are told as toddlers "use your words". Don't hit.

 

[low-key]

this is a touchy subject subject, some of us believe spanking can be a useful tool is parenting, other think thats just pure abuse. Lets face it none of us know for sure, we are just all trying to bring our kids up the best we know how

Strongly disagree. .

you disagree that other people dont think like you or that other dont want to raise there kids up the best they know how

 

[kimblebee]

Exactly. Not everything that was done in the olden days is good. Progress can be enlightening. We no longer allow kids to work in factories, people to ride in cars without seatbelts, and have labour laws to protect workers. And beating a child into submission is no longer socially acceptable. For those saying you grew up with it and it's fine must realize the majority of us are looking at you in aghast just as if you said that gay people are evil or it's okay to own slaves. Your viewpoint is so archaic and barbaric that it's jaw dropping.

Yes, we're equating spanking to saying gay people are evil. Give me a break.

I was spanked. I was sometimes spanked with a wooden spoon that often left welts. And guess what? So were my brothers and sister. Never to excess but enough that we learned the lesson and never again did whatever got us spanked in the first place. I maybe got the spoon three times. It was enough. My mom was also known to bring out the wooden spoon at dinner time if we were getting a little too rowdy. Just the sight of the spoon on the table was enough to calm us down.

I spanked my daughter. Never with a spoon but with my hand and maybe only three or four times total. I'm done having kids but if I did have another one, I'd spank again, if needed. I would do it because I don't feel that time out and other forms of discipline work. That's why kids are in time out constantly. It's a weak punishment. Sure, spanking is harsh but my daughter knew at a young age what was expected of her and acted accordingly. I've been told for as long as I can remember what a good kid she is and how well behaved she is. And no, she isn't afraid of me, but she also knows she can't walk all over me.

 

[CdnCarrie]

Yes, we're equating spanking to saying gay people are evil. Give me a break.

I was spanked. I was sometimes spanked with a wooden spoon that often left welts. And guess what? So were my brothers and sister. Never to excess but enough that we learned the lesson and never again did whatever got us spanked in the first place. I maybe got the spoon three times. It was enough. My mom was also known to bring out the wooden spoon at dinner time if we were getting a little too rowdy. Just the sight of the spoon on the table was enough to calm us down.

I spanked my daughter. Never with a spoon but with my hand and maybe only three or four times total. I'm done having kids but if I did have another one, I'd spank again, if needed. I would do it because I don't feel that time out and other forms of discipline work. That's why kids are in time out constantly. It's a weak punishment. Sure, spanking is harsh but my daughter knew at a young age what was expected of her and acted accordingly. I've been told for as long as I can remember what a good kid she is and how well behaved she is. And no, she isn't afraid of me, but she also knows she can't walk all over me.

How horrible. I could never hit someone I love. Just the thought of doing so makes me sick. And to do it with a spoon. I could never do that. Ever. I've been told many times that I have great kids too and I've never raised a hand to them. Sorry I think hitting a child with a spoon is barbaric. If we were friends IRL and I knew that I would be calling CFS on you. Sorry.

 

[kimblebee]

How horrible. I could never hit someone I love. Just the thought of doing so makes me sick. And to do it with a spoon. I could never do that. Ever. I've been told many times that I have great kids too and I've never raised a hand to them. Sorry I think hitting a child with a spoon is barbaric. If we were friends IRL and I knew that I would be calling CFS on you. Sorry.

I didn't use a wooden spoon on my daughter. I had one used on me. I'm not sure what you are picturing but it wasn't like they wound up and hit me in the face with all their might. It was a smack on the butt or the back of the leg. Not even bare skin. It stung more than anything.

Look, I'm not going to justify to you what my parents did or what I did. It worked for them and it worked for me. They raised four children to adulthood and we are all functioning members of society who have never so much as been sent to detention. I never feared them, not for one day. I respected them and still do. Was that due to spanking? Who knows, but I'm sure it didn't hurt.

 

[bimshire]

How horrible. I could never hit someone I love. Just the thought of doing so makes me sick. And to do it with a spoon. I could never do that. Ever. I've been told many times that I have great kids too and I've never raised a hand to them. Sorry I think hitting a child with a spoon is barbaric. If we were friends IRL and I knew that I would be calling CFS on you. Sorry.

There are threads that criticize parents for naming their children as they prefer. Parents need to be PC fall in line and name their kids as others so state.
Now there is outrage on the methods some parents use to discipline their kids and the only acceptable way is to fall in line again. Too much oversight and too much Big Brother.

 

[mommasita]

The Minnesota Vikings have placed running back Adrian Peterson on the Exempt/Commissioner's Permission list, meaning he will take part in no team activities until his legal situation is resolved.

More details to follow. http://www.tsn.ca/nfl/story/?id=461970

 

[robinb]

I spanked my daughter. Never with a spoon but with my hand and maybe only three or four times total. I'm done having kids but if I did have another one, I'd spank again, if needed. I would do it because I don't feel that time out and other forms of discipline work. That's why kids are in time out constantly. It's a weak punishment. Sure, spanking is harsh but my daughter knew at a young age what was expected of her and acted accordingly. I've been told for as long as I can remember what a good kid she is and how well behaved she is. And no, she isn't afraid of me, but she also knows she can't walk all over me.

I wouldn't pat yourself on the back quite yet. If you only spanked 3-4 times and your DD is soooo well behaved all that means is that she is a compliant child. Frankly, a "weaker" punishment like a timeout would have worked just as well. My DD has *never* been a complaint child. She knew what was expected but she simply did not care. Neither timeouts nor spanking (and I spanked way more than 3-4 times) worked with her. I've talked about this before ... I think that caving into spanking her was a weakness on *my* part. I was desperate for a "fix" to my strong willed child and spanking seemed like a way to show her (as you say) that she couldn't walk all over me. Realistically, she didn't care that she was spanked and was defiant though any and all punishments until she had a "currency" that I could use. I had to wait for her to like something enough that taking it away caused her some 'pain'. First it was the TV and now it's the internet, her phone and hanging out with her friends. I'm know that you think that spanking worked for you, but I think that for kids who are compliant any traditional method of discipline will work.

 

[Mickeyluver37]

The Minnesota Vikings have placed running back Adrian Peterson on the Exempt/Commissioner's Permission list, meaning he will take part in no team activities until his legal situation is resolved. More details to follow. http://www.tsn.ca/nfl/story/?id=461970

Finally!!! Now hopefully he will ALSO be found guilty in court.

 

[Disneylover99]

I wouldn't pat yourself on the back quite yet. If you only spanked 3-4 times and your DD is soooo well behaved all that means is that she is a compliant child. Frankly, a "weaker" punishment like a timeout would have worked just as well. My DD has *never* been a complaint child. She knew what was expected but she simply did not care. Neither timeouts nor spanking (and I spanked way more than 3-4 times) worked with her. I've talked about this before ... I think that caving into spanking her was a weakness on *my* part. I was desperate for a "fix" to my strong willed child and spanking seemed like a way to show her (as you say) that she couldn't walk all over me. Realistically, she didn't care that she was spanked and was defiant though any and all punishments until she had a "currency" that I could use. I had to wait for her to like something enough that taking it away caused her some 'pain'. First it was the TV and now it's the internet, her phone and hanging out with her friends. I'm know that you think that spanking worked for you, but I think that for kids who are compliant any traditional method of discipline will work.

I totally agree with this. Spanking a strong willed child can escalate into abuse pretty quickly when parents don't get the desired result.

Kudos to you robinb for realizing that you needed to find a different kind of discipline for your child.

 

[Jedana]

No but it was said that they needed more of the story to judge. And he shouldn't be TOO severely punished. I disagree.

If you have it in you to 'lose control' like this, you are defective. Criminally. There is no "oops my bad" when beating a child. Sorry, just how I feel.

I think that any punishment should wait until the facts all come out. (I think that's true in any case, so take from that what you will.)

People see a picture or hear something, get all indignant and spout off, and then when all the information comes out, they go "oooo, I see" and drop their attention from that thing and move on to the next. Sometimes the information makes the person in question look worse and sometimes better, but there is always a change in the virtual world's attitude towards a story.


I spank my kids. We spank only when there needs to be a big impression--running out into the street, putting a fork (or other object) into a light socket, biting the cat are examples of what we would spank for (not necessarily what we've spanked for, just some examples of what might be). For other discipline, we use time outs, grounding, etc depending on the age of the child. And no marks left ever (other than a little redness immediately after). Clothing always on. Open hand only. and no more than 2 swats. I can honestly say all 3 of my kids have been spanked no more than 10 times total for all 3, and none of them repeated the behavior that led to a spanking in the first place.

 

[Jedana]

If you are truly upset over the Vick dog abuse case, stop watching his team play. Do not buy jerseys or anything else related to that team. Release your season tickets back to the league and make sure to tell them why.

If the AP case is where you want to make your stand, then make it full on. No more Vikings games (not even on the tv)--don't attend the game; return his jersey to the store and get your money back. Stop watching the NFL period.

Go to battered women or child shelter and volunteer. Foster or adopt an at risk kid. Get a parenting class going, geared towards low income parents.

If you have a problem with the way things were handled in Missouri, then find a way to help fix the problem. In your community or in theirs. But step up.

Donate your time to at risk youth programs, mentor a child that needs a father figure in their life, donate your time and money to helping fix your community.

Whatever you do, take your position and work from there. Spouting off on internet boards is not going to get anywhere. You want to make change--go do something.

 

[Jedana]

The line is at or before the point when you leave bruises, draw blood, or otherwise cause actual injury. That shouldn't have to be a discussion among civilized people.

But it needs to be a discussion, civilized or not.

AP is saying that's how he was disciplined. It's how he was raised. It's what he thought was right and ok. No one ever told him that it's not.

If you don't know that something is wrong, you don't know that you shouldn't do it. (lots of negatives in that statement, wow)

 

[mnrose]

Yes, we're equating spanking to saying gay people are evil. Give me a break.

I was spanked. I was sometimes spanked with a wooden spoon that often left welts. And guess what? So were my brothers and sister. Never to excess but enough that we learned the lesson and never again did whatever got us spanked in the first place. I maybe got the spoon three times. It was enough. My mom was also known to bring out the wooden spoon at dinner time if we were getting a little too rowdy. Just the sight of the spoon on the table was enough to calm us down.

I spanked my daughter. Never with a spoon but with my hand and maybe only three or four times total. I'm done having kids but if I did have another one, I'd spank again, if needed. I would do it because I don't feel that time out and other forms of discipline work. That's why kids are in time out constantly. It's a weak punishment. Sure, spanking is harsh but my daughter knew at a young age what was expected of her and acted accordingly. I've been told for as long as I can remember what a good kid she is and how well behaved she is. And no, she isn't afraid of me, but she also knows she can't walk all over me.

Time outs DO work, if done properly. My children were never, ever spanked or otherwise physically disciplined. They are well mannered, reasonably polite (for teenagers....LOL!) teens. They have had ZERO discipline issues in school. I've had nothing but compliments from other adults on what nice young people they are.

I used time outs when they were little. Once they reached about 5 or 6, I used different methods, appropriate for their currency at the time. Right now, for example, my DD is disciplined by removing electronics from her, by being made to skip "fun" social activities, etc. But never have I struck her.

Both my teens have been fascinated by all the coverage of AP. They simply have never imagined that kids were beaten by their parents. It's mind-boggling to them. And, horrifying.

I will say that it has given them both a new found appreciation for their parents.

 

[Mickeyluver37]

But it needs to be a discussion, civilized or not.

AP is saying that's how he was disciplined. It's how he was raised. It's what he thought was right and ok. No one ever told him that it's not.

If you don't know that something is wrong, you don't know that you shouldn't do it. (lots of negatives in that statement, wow)

This is such a weak argument, but one that keeps getting brought up over and over in this monster's defense. I truly hope he is found guilty, so that all of those who "don't know" the difference between child abuse and discipline will then "know."

I don't believe that NO ONE ever told him this was wrong, or that his head is completely in the sand that most people don't do this to their kids. He's an adult. He went to college with people from all over the country. He's well aware there are differences in parenting. He just takes pride in his barbaric method.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Time outs DO work, if done properly. My children were never, ever spanked or otherwise physically disciplined. They are well mannered, reasonably polite (for teenagers....LOL!) teens. They have had ZERO discipline issues in school. I've had nothing but compliments from other adults on what nice young people they are.

I used time outs when they were little. Once they reached about 5 or 6, I used different methods, appropriate for their currency at the time. Right now, for example, my DD is disciplined by removing electronics from her, by being made to skip "fun" social activities, etc. But never have I struck her.

Both my teens have been fascinated by all the coverage of AP. They simply have never imagined that kids were beaten by their parents. It's mind-boggling to them. And, horrifying.

I will say that it has given them both a new found appreciation for their parents.

I have an anti-spanking friend with a very strong willed hitting child. She still uses time out but they don't work. If they were effective, then it would work, right? Adopted as an infant, never laid a hand on him--yet he is a thrower and a hitter. I'm sure one day he will be a nice well mannered young man, but for now he is a holy terror at times. Your solution is not the be all end all of discipline and doesn't work for everyone. You were just lucky it worked for your children. Declaring it as an absolute "if done correctly" is wrong because it does not take into account the different personalities of children. If it takes years to condition the behavior, it really isn't effective, is it?

 

[Mickeyluver37]

I have an anti-spanking friend with a very strong willed hitting child. She still uses time out but they don't work. If they were effective, then it woke work, right? Adopted as an infant, never laid a hand on him--yet he is a thrower and a hitter. I'm sure one day he will be a nice well mannered young man, but for now he is a holy terror at times. Your solution is not the be all end all of discipline and doesn't work for everyone. You were just lucky it worked for your children. Declaring it as an absolute "if done correctly" is wrong because it does not take into account the different personalities of children. If it takes years to condition the behavior, it really isn't effective, is it?

I have never laid a hand on any of my kids, but I agree with you. I don't have all the answers to parenting, but I do have some pretty awesome, well behaved kids. I don't think any of it (time outs, spanking, taking away privledges) works, besides consistently driving the message that a behavior is unacceptable. For me, when they were young, it always meant redirection or removing them from the situation. And if it was their first offense, as a child they probably really didn't know any better.

Where we all differentiate as parents is in what we consider acceptable and unacceptable. I've seen some kids get away with what I perceive to be bad behavior, right in front of their parents, and then the parent flip out on the same kid over something that I find minor or wouldn't even cross my radar. As long as your friend is conveying the message, over and over, that it is unacceptable, the kid will eventually get it. Where parents go wrong is in making excuses for their kid and allowing the behavior.

 

[JanaDee]

I think that any punishment should wait until the facts all come out. (I think that's true in any case, so take from that what you will.)

People see a picture or hear something, get all indignant and spout off, and then when all the information comes out, they go "oooo, I see" and drop their attention from that thing and move on to the next. Sometimes the information makes the person in question look worse and sometimes better, but there is always a change in the virtual world's attitude towards a story.


I spank my kids. We spank only when there needs to be a big impression--running out into the street, putting a fork (or other object) into a light socket, biting the cat are examples of what we would spank for (not necessarily what we've spanked for, just some examples of what might be). For other discipline, we use time outs, grounding, etc depending on the age of the child. And no marks left ever (other than a little redness immediately after). Clothing always on. Open hand only. and no more than 2 swats. I can honestly say all 3 of my kids have been spanked no more than 10 times total for all 3, and none of them repeated the behavior that led to a spanking in the first place.

I can't help it, the visual of a baby biting a cat is cracking me up.