Adrian Peterson

[robinb]

I think Adrian Peterson went way over board but I also strongly believe that instead of jail time he needs to go to counseling and parenting classss (which he seems to be doing since he says he saw a psychiatrist who is teaching him other discipline methods) because we really don't need another group of fatherless kids. Yes he has kids by several different women but the ones he knows about he takes care of, has visitation, and brings them to games when able. I think with the way he is acting it is more important to teach him better methods.

Now onto the descipline debate I was given a whooping as a child and I never once hated my mother for it. We only got pops after all other punishments were exhausted. My mother was a teacher and had all sorts of tools at her disposal. We were put in time out, had things taken away, and were talked to but sometimes we just didn't get it. I was only popped once by my mother and I never hated her for it. She would cry while she did it and always told us exactly why we were getting them. My older brothers got more than I ever did but they were hard headed.

Now my father on the other hand was abusive. My parents were divorced and my father was a master at making sure no one knew what was going on. My father would have never appologized for hitting one of us with his belt buckle. I am 26 and am still waiting for him to own up to it. The fact Adrian even told the boys mother that he is sorry and didn't mean to hit him on his scrotum and that he went too far is the biggest tell for me. Abusive parents don't appologize for anyone. That is why I think he needs some guidance and community service not jail time.

I agree that guidance and community service will be better for his families. His case has certainly shown a light on the difference between discipline and abuse and I hope that he can change and share what he's learned. However, I also support the Vikings for suspending him just as I would expect any professional player to be suspended if they are indicted on a felony. There are consequences for his actions.

I acctually grew up in the county that Adrian Peterson was charged in. I even think the sheriff who booked him is the same one who came to our house the one time we called the police on my dad. Unfortunately my dad isn't a famous football player so he got of with a nod.

{{hugs}} Maybe the sheriff has learned some things along the way.

 

[indimom]

What he did was NOT a "spanking". Can't we all agree on that atleast?

Absolutely.


What bothers me about these arguments is that it implies every spanking is the same. A ridiculous assumption.

Shoot, I've seen time-outs that went over the line, IMO. I've seen lectures that were abusive, IMO. And I think this "spanking" was abusive, IMO.

But for those diehards who think spanking is all bad, and time outs are all good. Think again. People can turn any method into a negative, it's all about the relationship between the parent and the child, and the intentions behind the "corrective action."

My parents were fond of sending us to bed without dinner. If we had continued to misbehave, they would have sent us to bed without dinner multiple nights in a row. In our case, there was no abuse involved, and they would have stopped if they felt we were not getting adequate nutrition. BUT, I have NO doubt that there are parents who did take "food restriction" to extremes.

 

[Metsfan520]

What he did was NOT a "spanking". Can't we all agree on that atleast?

I agree with that.

 

[wilkeliza]

I agree that guidance and community service will be better for his families. His case has certainly shown a light on the difference between discipline and abuse and I hope that he can change and share what he's learned. However, I also support the Vikings for suspending him just as I would expect any professional player to be suspended if they are indicted on a felony. There are consequences for his actions.

{{hugs}} Maybe the sheriff has learned some things along the way.

I think the way his team is handling it is ok. He actually wasn't suspended he is taking a paid leave where he won't play or represent the Vikings or practice but silk still get paid while he goes through trial and such.

I also think he shouldn't be allowed to play again until he completes the therapy and parental classes.

 

[mnrose]

Growing up I was spanked with a hairbrush twice. There is a time and place for spankings. Do I think it should be used every time for discipline? No. But as a PP stated, there is a time and place for it.

Not with my kids. Ever.

You want to hit your kids, I don't have a problem with your parenting decision, so long as you don't take it over the line into abuse. And, that's what troubles me. Spanking is sometimes done by parents who are angry and frustrated. That's not a good mix and can lead, even inadvertently, to abuse. I doubt AP started out to abuse his son. But perhaps his anger/frustration got the best of him.

To make a blanket statement that "there is a time and a place for it" is also wrong. There are many many parents in this country who have never, and would never, strike their children. And those children grow up to be fine adults. No spanking necessary. No "time and place" where it was needed.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

What he did was NOT a "spanking". Can't we all agree on that atleast?

Yeah, I'm not entirely sure how the conversation warped into what it did. I think we can all agree there's a significant different.

Yes we can agree.

Conversation warped when some posters declared ALL forms of physical discipline as barbaric and abusive. The side conversation was absolutely pertinent because of that.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Not with my kids. Ever.

You want to hit your kids, I don't have a problem with your parenting decision, so long as you don't take it over the line into abuse. And, that's what troubles me. Spanking is sometimes done by parents who are angry and frustrated. That's not a good mix and can lead, even inadvertently, to abuse. I doubt AP started out to abuse his son. But perhaps his anger/frustration got the best of him.

To make a blanket statement that "there is a time and a place for it" is also wrong. There are many many parents in this country who have never, and would never, strike their children. And those children grow up to be fine adults. No spanking necessary. No "time and place" where it was needed.

Your second paragraph doesn't negate what the poster said.

 

[luvsJack]

Absolutely.


What bothers me about these arguments is that it implies every spanking is the same. A ridiculous assumption.

Shoot, I've seen time-outs that went over the line, IMO. I've seen lectures that were abusive, IMO. And I think this "spanking" was abusive, IMO.

But for those diehards who think spanking is all bad, and time outs are all good. Think again. People can turn any method into a negative, it's all about the relationship between the parent and the child, and the intentions behind the "corrective action."

My parents were fond of sending us to bed without dinner. If we had continued to misbehave, they would have sent us to bed without dinner multiple nights in a row. In our case, there was no abuse involved, and they would have stopped if they felt we were not getting adequate nutrition. BUT, I have NO doubt that there are parents who did take "food restriction" to extremes.

I find everything you are saying to be so true.

I fired a child care employee because she would not stop using time out in excess.

Lectures can turn into verbal abuse quickly.

Younger ds had a teacher that would not paddle but her tirades were enough to send me to the principal to have ds removed from her class. I knew he wasn't the best behaved kid in the class but being constantly berated and treated like dirt certainly wasn't going to help his behavior. He wasn't the only one removed that year and she left the next. But she was verbally and emotionally abusive.